Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 80 to 81, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Мая 12/24 1894. Красное Село.
N 22. Лагерь
преображенского
полка.
My own sweet Darling,
Having passed the first night in the camp I went for the day to Gatchina - only half an hour by rail - & what was my delight to find your dear letter that had come a minute before me. Many fond thanks & tender kisses, my owly-darling! Why should I laugh at you for receiving young men, especially a friend of your's & Ernie's — I shall certainly consider him as mine also! May I?
I lunched with Papa, walked, had tea, sat & read in my room and left again after dinner. I found out a good deal of interesting details in my old diarys, very funny one's in that of 1884 & most lively things in the 1889 one! things quite forgotten of! I am going to bring the two to England if you want, deary! I saw on one an old photo of the owl stuck on to the beginning of the book - oh! tho thweet! - Forgive this stupid letter being so trivial, but I have been disturbed the whole evening since I came back, by my officers, who one by one, kept on asking me to be received for me to give orders about tomorrow. But what we are going to do tomorrow is most simple: we are going to work in the soil, like moals, to prepare the place for our rifle-practising so the dear people might have left me in peace & not interrupt my writing to my Darling & beloved little bride. A whole cart of things arrived just now from Coburg — a fat packet from Uhlenhuth (professor - as the idiot calls himself), three baskets & the long-chair I bought them on purpose for the camp. All these things remind me so cruelly of the lovely past days!
Oh!!! I received a most gracious answer fr. Granny & fr. Ludwig too. She adds in her telegram that she is so sorry you are not with her. Well! it is not my fault again? I hope! — If I could only see my sweet little Baroness & make the ladie's society a little gayer for her; but patience — Walton shall be good enough! I must end now my own sweet love, as it is very late! No second sheet to this letter! My longing to see you & press you Darling to my heart is not to be described! God bless you + sweety. My thoughts never leave my little bride an instant. Good-night моя душка!
Ever & ever yr. own loving Nicky
2) I do it? I was all alone!! One little violet though, tempted me and, instead of escaping temptation, je l'ai cueillie!
I am glad you saw such an excellent performance of Faust, it is a lovely divine & ever young fresh music. We are in mourning and I don't hear any music except our band wh. has remained in town, you see our amusements here are not varied, we are in the camp & being soldiers must do our duty first & not lament about other things! But when I come to England — then my mourning shall fly like darkness flies from daylight & I shall go wherever my little owl can follow me! Am I not right? I must again answer a letter from Granny, if you knew what trouble they give me. Of course I try to write in a very grand & old-fashioned-like style — had you seen one of them you would be quite upset. But her letters are so awfully difficult to read, she has got a way of shortening her sentences and words in such a manner that I could not make out for a long time. — I hear the soldiers singing the grace before supper which is at 8. We also dine at that hour & in a few minutes the invasion shall warm my poor little house. Good-bye, my own darling little girl — I must be off to wash my paws & get ready for the dinner. A kiss sweety!
Here! I am here again. The dinner was very gay, we laughed a good deal. They always ask me questions about you deary, where you are & what you are doing & so on. I don't know why but when that happens & they all stare at me, I get shy & even blush in the beginning — is it not ridiculous. All this comes from having kept my feelings down so long & from considering our matter as the most sacred secret! Ach! Those five years!!!!! — This evening there is an old actor, my great friend, who comes to some of the officers — he narrates splendid stories & anecdotes & copies people to a perfection. I am afraid there shall be a little drink after, but don't be anxious for me, my love. Every drop of any glass I dow empty is always to yr. precious health! If it were not too tiresome, I would fill the whole letter with these three words: I love you! Yes! and with the my whole heart, with all my soul & with all the power of my spirit! God bless you, my own beloved sweet little darling Alix. A tender kiss fr. yr. ever devoted Nicky
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
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