GMZ Tsarskoe Selo
Monday, September 26, 2022
Grille for a Maple Room jardinière and its restoration
Sources:
Gosfond, GMZ Tsarskoe Selo, GMZ Pavlovsk, Andrei Zeest and the Tsarskoe Selo Amber Workshop
Monday, September 19, 2022
Anastasia's letter to Nicholas, dated May 10, 1913
Source:
Olga Grigor'eva at lastromanovs on VK
The letter:
10 Мая 1913
Ц. С.
пятница
Золотой мой
Папа!
Как Ты поживаешь? Я и Мария сейчас поедем к Вере в гости а Алексей пошол в сад. Мы недавно кончили завтрак. Мама мне сказала что у тебя большой завтрак. У нас сегодня хорошо тепло солнце. Ольга и Татиана поедут кататься с Настенькой. Мне надо идти одеваться. Желаю всего всего тебе хорошего. Я без тебя еще не курила. Позволь купаться, когда ты приедешь. Целую сто раз. Любящая изо всех сил всегда преданная твоя дочь
Анастася.
English translation (my own):
May 10 1913
T. S.
Friday
My golden
Papa!
How are You? Maria and I are now going to visit Vera, and Alexei went to the garden. We just finished breakfast. Mama told me that you have a big breakfast. We have a nice warm sun today. Olga and Tatiana will go skating with Nastenka. I have to go get dressed. I wish You all the best. I haven't smoked without you yet. Let me bathe when you arrive. I kiss you a hundred times. Loving with all her might, your always devoted daughter
Anastasya.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.
Above: Anastasia.
Alix's letter to Nicholas on her 22nd birthday, June 6 and 7, 1894 (New Style)
Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 130 to 132, by George Hawkins, 2023
George Hawkins at Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook
Nicholas's letter of the same day:
Alix's letter of June 7 to her brother Ernst:
The letter:
No 38
Harrogate
June 6th 1894
My own beloved Darling,
It is late, the others have all gone to bed and I am all alone in the sitting room with one candle burning, and the beautiful moon shedding her silver light. But I must write to you. I could not go to sleep without a little talk to you. Oh my Nicky sweet, how can I thank you enough for having given me that magnificent bracelet — it really is much too good for me, but never the less I wore it as a brooch to-day.
I received many charming presents, from Ernie and Ducky a lovely parasole, fr. Granny a tea basket, fr. Irène a little oil picture of dear Papa's sitting room, fr. Victoria a work bag, silver spoon for tea and two delightful frames for your photos, fr. Schneiderlein one too. I received photos of my beloved horse, not a bit really mine, but all the same one I usually ride and H. v. Riedesel won't let any one else get on. From Toria and Maud a sweet four leaved clover brooch. Then lots of flowers from Gretchen — and from Ernie and amiable Ladies here (Seibert peeped in highly astonished to see me in dressing gown and shawl) and a box with a mass of glorious roses from I don't know whom. The room looks like a garden and smells delicious. I adore flowers. A girl who runs after me in Darmstadt even sent me flowers from home wh touched me deeply. Then from the photographers at D., your head out of the group taken there, enlarged — it is a delightful one and is standing now before me and has got a mischievous look.
Then a person sent me a little drawing a Lady had done of dear Mama from a photograph and wh belonged to this old woman who was poor, so I gave her something, it is charming. How every one did love and honour Mama. For her sweet sake they all take such an interest in me. Fancy the town was even flagged and a large crowd assembled to see us off driving, and had to wait two hours till we were back, as we came home late, and they tore along up to the house. The police could not keep them back. Victoria who arrived last night and I went in two bicycle bathchairs to Knareborough, there we got out and walked through filthy but pretty road to the dropping well. If you put in any object, after a few months it becomes petrified, the [illegible] we did not go to as the walk had hurt my legs excessively. We drove on to St Roberts Cave wh was interesting, but it would be too long to tell you about this all now, when I show you the photos and if it interests you, then more. To the wells for my glass, the people swarmed again, one does feel so shy and foolish being gaped at, as tho' one were some wild animal broken loose from the zoo.
I got such a sweet telegram from your dear Papa wh touched me deeply and many other kind ones from yr Regiment and all our Regiments. I sat answering these for I don't know how long, and all alone, no darling Nicky to help me. Oh, how I missed you! Think, the first Birthday in my life without Orchie, she wrote so sad, poor dear! She is in Kiel looking after Irène's little boy, whose Nurse has gone on leave.
The weather was warm and often sunny, most kind. Let me kiss you now and thank you most heartily for your dear, long letter No. 31, wh has delighted me excessively. So, you think I have nothing to find in your eyes — well there you are greatly mistaken, as worlds are in them, so deep and true and large and sweet. I could gaze at them for ever! You just shut up about the Owl's, do you hear, you good for nothing creature? No, I'll be good and not catch cold if I can help it. Oh, how I envy you your ride, but what an old sinner you are, to make your poor comrades tare like that when they are not accustomed to it!
How nice that Toria has sent you the music to "Wait, Strive and Pray", but I fear I shall not be able to sing it, I have not sung a note for ever so long and I should be frightened before you. But you might bring some Russian songs, we can at least play them. Oh, and what a nice, long letter yours is, such a joy, I devour it and then begin all over again, never enough.
Deary, I spoke to the Dr. to-day [a]nd he allows me to leave on the 20th of June, so that day we meet at Walton, God grant, as I hear through Victoria, [illegible] said you arrive that day. She advises you to send your gentlemen to London, as Gravesend is so ghastly dull and they would be much better at the Russian embassy.
I must write it to Granny still, she still cannot get over my going so far away, poor dear, kind soul. I also dread the moment when I shall have to say Goodbye to her, as who knows whether I may ever meet her on earth again — everything is so uncertain and she is no longer young, it wld be too awful!
I am quite excited when I think of our meeting, if only nothing comes between gain, it is never good to make plans too long beforehand. But then, no letters during your voyage, oh dear oh dear, that will be hard. To see you again and kiss you my own love, what bliss, but i can't help adoring you as I do, my sweet angel, my precious Darling. God bless you now and ever. How I am chattering away again instead of going to bed, but my legs are needing their rest, I must be off and as at 8 my first glass is going to be brought to me already. No, how I have missed Ernie and home, how I should have wished to have been at Darmstadt for my last Birthday before that great change in life. Oh Nicky, never cease to love me. I want love, and all mine you shall have in return. Sweet one, I must flie off now, crawl would be the more correct word with my old lame legs. Many tender kisses and prayers for your happiness. Sleep well душки! Боже, тебя храни!
June 7th — Good morning sweet love. Windy but sunny, if it only would settle down fine now. I heard from Ernie this morning and he sends you much love. From him it is I have got the large photo of you. Dear Boy, such a kind thought. My legs ache much to-day and my toes are swollen and I can scarcely take a step in my shoes — vile — I swear like you Donnerwetter! Well, perhaps my bath this morning will make them better. But that glass of water I got in bed was too vile. The others will be coming to breakfast, sweet love, so I must say goodbye. Many a tender kiss and blessing do I send you, my adored Boy. Ever yr own deeply loving old
Alix
The room is too lovely with all the flowers. I wish I knew from where they came. A person has sent me a book and one for you too. Now tata lovy. Bless you again. I am greedy for this morning's post.
Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of TatianaZ on Flickr.
Above: St. Robert's Cave in Knaresborough, England. Photo courtesy of Rosser1954 on Wikimedia Commons.
Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated June 14, 1915, and Nicholas's telegram, dated June 14, 1915
Sources:
Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923
The letter:
No. 85.
Tsarskoje Selo, June 14-th 1915
My own beloved One,
I congratulate you with all my loving heart for our big Marie's 16-th birthday. What a cold, rainy summer it was when she was borne — 3 weeks I had daily pains until she turned up. Pitty you are not here. She enjoyed all her presents, I gave her her first ring from us made out of one of my Buchara diamonds.
She is so cheery & gay to-day.
I am writing on the balkony, we have just finished luncheon after we had been to Church. Baby is going to Peterhof for the afternoon & later to Ania. Such lovely weather & the wind keeps it from being too hot — but the evenings are fresh. Marie Bariatinsky dined with us & remained till 10½ & then I went to bed as had a headache.
The girls had a repetition in the "little house". —
Beloved one, all my thoughts & prayers are with you the whole time & so much sorrow and anxiety fills the heart. — I hope you will say about the church processions. Old Fred. of course made a confusion & gived O. Ebr. on her money she got as my lady, not her Father's pension (wh. was much less) & she asked for. She feels quite confused at. yr. great kindness. —
Yesterday I looked at the 10 English motors — quite splendid, much better than ours, for four lying & a sister or sanitary can sit inside with them & always hot water to be had for them — they hope to get yet 20 more for us, yr. Mama & me together. As soon as she has seen these, they ought to be sent off I find at once where the cavalry is most in need of them now, I don't know where, perhaps you could ask, & then I can hint it to Motherdear. She is now at Elagin.
Paul comes to tea & then the children go to Ania, perhaps I too for a bit if not too tired. I see our Friend this evening or to-morrow morning.
We are going out driving this afternoon, A. & I; the girls will follow in two small carriages.
Now I must end dear Love. How I long to know how the news really are, such anxiety fills the soul. —
Goodbye Nicky mine, my very, very own.
God bless & protect you. I cover your precious face with kisses.
Ever yr. very own
Sunny.
Nicholas's telegram:
Telegram. Stavka. 14 June, 1915.
Warm thanks for dear letter, and best wishes for Marie's birthday. I have only just returned from church. After lunch we are having the conference of Ministers. Lovely days and cool nights.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.
Above: Maria. Photo courtesy of Ilya Chishko on Flickr.
Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria, Anastasia and Alexei. Photo courtesy of Ilya Chishko at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Marie Feodorovna, Alexandra's mother-in-law.
Above: Anna Vyrubova.
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Above: Grigori Rasputin.
Note: Alexandra always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".
Monday, September 12, 2022
Alix's letter to Nicholas mentioning his 1891 trip to Japan during which he was attacked by a local of Otsu, dated June 2 and 3 (New Style), 1894
Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 114 to 117, by George Hawkins, 2023
George Hawkins at Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook
Nicholas's letter of the same day:
A letter Alix wrote to her friend Toni Becker about the attack on Nicholas in Otsu in 1891 is here:
Excerpt of the letter:
Don't think you are boasting when you tell about your journey as I am sure you would never do such a thing, but why should not others also have a little pleasure in hearing you tell about foreign countries, where the most will probably never go, and your experiences and impressions. It would even be selfish if you gave them nothing to hear and kept all you had seen and wondered over for yourself, let them learn from you. I am sure in your whole life you will be thankful for having undertaken that journey and how much it must have tought you. Every man ought to travel and see the world, as it enlarges his mind. How Ernie grieves that he never can go so far away, he was intending to do so, when our beloved One died, and now in his position it is impossible — perhaps, God grant, he may do so some day still. What a pleasure it is listening to stories of foreign countries, especially when one will probably never have the chance of going there. Oh my love, how my thoughts followed you there, and what I went through when we suddenly got that terrible news and I had to swallow down the feelings wh were overwhelming me. I am sure sure those five years have made my nerves and leg so bad — oh, they were awful, but God knows best, tho' we often do not understand his ways and have Blindly to go there. God knows why He leads us so and it must be for our best.
The letter in full:
No 34
Harrogate
June 2nd 1894
My own precious Nicky sweet,
A good kiss and most heartfelt thanks for dear No. 27 just received, you darling old thing, it has been such a delight to read, all the dear, kind names, God bless you for them. I am sorry you have also got our bad weather, I can imagine the state you got into out walking, as you ought to have seen the mess the Ladies were in after nearly an hour's walk in pouring rain near my bath chair, I put the hood up and took my hat off as the air was oppressive. I have namely not yet got over my ramolissement, but not withstanding, I had my two hours' Russian. I nearly know the Lord's Prayer by heart. Oh how I wish I were clever, for your dear sake, when I think of you, I feel such a dunce.
Don't think you are boasting when you tell about your journey as I am sure you would never do such a thing, but why should not others also have a little pleasure in hearing you tell about foreign countries, where the most will probably never go, and your experiences and impressions. It would even be selfish if you gave them nothing to hear and kept all you had seen and wondered over for yourself, let them learn from you. I am sure in your whole life you will be thankful for having undertaken that journey and how much it must have tought you. Every man ought to travel and see the world, as it enlarges his mind. How Ernie grieves that he never can go so far away, he was intending to do so, when our beloved One died, and now in his position it is impossible — perhaps, God grant, he may do so some day still. What a pleasure it is listening to stories of foreign countries, especially when one will probably never have the chance of going there. Oh my love, how my thoughts followed you there, and what I went through when we suddenly got that terrible news and I had to swallow down the feelings wh were overwhelming me. I am sure sure those five years have made my nerves and leg so bad — oh, they were awful, but God knows best, tho' we often do not understand his ways and have Blindly to go there. God knows why He leads us so and it must be for our best.
I am so sorry you did not get a letter from me the day you wrote as I send one regularly with the exception of Sundays when the post only goes in the evening, so this letter will make you wait again — it is a nuisance. Yours will no doubt also not come till Monday. I grieve as I know how sad I feel when none no letter comes, well then the others must be read over and devoured again. How I envy your playing on the piano, I have not got one here and by the time you come I shall not be able to play a note. Victoria is now coming alone and from the 5th to 8th so that I shall not spend my birthday alone. To-morrow is Georgie's.
I wonder whether you would get this letter on the 6th. Oh, how I shall long for you. It is one of the days I hate most in the year, it makes me always feel miserable, as one never knows what the coming year will bring, this one brought me great sorrow and inexpressible joy. And it is the time one longs more than ever for all those dear ones gone from this earth. It will be my 3rd birthday without beloved Papa, oh Nicky, what he was to me, none can ever know, but I cannot speak about it, otherwise the tears won't keep back and then inquisitive Ladies stare at one and ask questions. But it is a loss wh makes itself daily felt more and more. God help me!
But enough for to-night. Byby sweet love, your little bride blesses and kisses you most tenderly and passionately.
Good morning my pet! A few words before I go to Church. I am no longer ramolie you will be glad to hear, but who knows how soon I shall be so again. Of course it is raining and so I have ordered cab to take Gretchen and me to St. Mary's Church, where I have not yet been. Schneiderlein has to bathe and drink her water.
No letter from any one. I am sure they will all come of a heap on Wednesday, and then comes the answering. Yesterday Gretchen read to me a short biography of Pushkin, wh was most interesting, and with Schneiderlein I read in Russian Peter the Great's life as a boy — it sounds grand, does it not, but with a great deal of help I can make it out. Madelaine just brought me my medicine, no what I have all to do, killing, my knees get rubbed with a mixture of iodine and belladonna (shall I not use some for my eyes, would you not like to see me appear with glorious eyes, eh?) and now my whole body has to be rubbed with a brush to improve the circulation, it is maddening and I still now feel cribbely from it. Gretchen came very late so she gobbled down a large breakfast, not heeding our imploring words to take it slowly and I am in a fright of her bursting in Church — oh dear, it is a ghastly idea! Now I must be off and get dressed and pop on my bonnet and look sedate and I shall think of you sweety and I am sure our prayers will meet. We all know that we have such our Guardian Angel who watches over us but we must also remember that all the Angels, with one accord care for our wellbeing, for are we not told that the Angels rejoice more over one penitent sinner than many just persons who need no repentance. "Guide us, Truth, thou star refulgent, Travellers through a darksome land. We are weak but thou art mighty to support our social band. Lead us onward, Bending to thy high command."
Here I am out of Church again, it was a nice little one and we are going there next Sunday again, as the Lady and Gentleman allowed us to sit again in their bench. It was very full, so it took us a good time till we got to the porch where our carriage was waiting, to my horror a policeman and a crowd and I heard a Lady saying Prss Alice of Hesse is coming. Then the Gentleman of the bench kindly held his brolly over me. I scrambled in, in a most undignified way, getting the colour of a crab. They make me painfully shy, the dear people, and Gretchen the beast laughs at me. No more for the present as it lasts nearly two hours and I must rest a bit before luncheon. Oh, I prayed so for you and that I might become a better woman and Christian and that God might help me to learn and love your Church and that He should help me in the many great difficulties and that I might become worthier of you. I feel so much quieter after Church that I long to go every morning and evening and pray there.
Here I am back again, it did not rain a drop and we look quite a nice, and the dog too. This coming we are going to the Presbiterian (Scotch) church close by. Now sweet boy I must say Goodbye so as that Seibert can take this letter to the post, he won't rejoice having to do it, fat old lazy thing. No letter for me to-day, but I hope instead two to-morrow.
With many loving kisses and tenderst blessing, ever, my own beloved sweet and precious boysy dear, yr own true love
Alix
Forgive my letters being dull but not seeing ever any one, I have no news to give. You know, to-day is also "Illa's" Birthday, the Landgräfin's marriageable daughter! Our policeman is patiently marching up and down, I hear his footsteps and it reminds me of our centries at home. Give my love to Xenia when you write. I wonder if you have been on the lake to-day and Micha with his brolly. Please when you see Miechen give her my very fondest love. Tea for us three graces is being brought and the hungry Ladies are turning up, so Goodbye once more and believe in your little Girly's unending true devotion and deep love, I never get tired of seeing and I hope you not of hearing it.
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Above: Nicholas during his trip to Japan in 1891.
Notes: ramolissement = exhaustion.
"when our beloved One died" = Alix's and Ernst's father, Grand Duke Louis of Hesse, had died suddenly from a heart attack in 1892, necessitating Ernst to inherit his important position as Grand Duke.
ramolie = exhausted.
Nicholas's telegram to Alexandra, dated June 13, 1915
Source:
The telegram:
Telegram. Stavka. 13 June, 1915.
I thank you sincerely for your dear letter; Tatiana and Alexey as well. I have written to Marie for her birthday. The weather is splendid. The news is not so bad. This is a very busy day. I kiss you all fondly.
Nicky.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.
Above: Tatiana and Alexei. Photo courtesy of Ilya Chishko on Flickr.
Above: Maria. Photo courtesy of Ilya Chishko on Flickr.
Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated June 12 and 13, 1915
Source:
Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923
The letter:
No. 84.
Tsarskoje Selo, June 12-th 1915
My very Own,
I begin my letter still to-night, as to-morrow morning I hope to go to the hospital & shall have less time for writing. Ania & I took a nice drive to Pavlovsk this afternoon — in the shade it was quite cool; we lunched & took tea on the balkony, but in the evening it got too fresh to sit out. From 9½-11½ we were at Anias, I worked on the sopha, the 3 girls and officers played games. I am tired after my first outing. — My Lvov stores is now at Rovno near the station for the time — God grant we shant be driven back fr. there too. — That we had to leave that town is hard, but still it was not quite ours yet — nevertheless its sad to have fallen into other hands — William will now be sleeping in old Fr. J's bed wh. you occupied one night — I don't like that, its humiliating, — but that one can bear — but to think that once more the same battle-fields may be strewn with the bodies of our brave men — thats heartrending. But I ought not to speak to you in this tone, you have enough sorrow — my letters must be cheery ones, but its a bit difficult when heart & soul are sad. I hope to see our Friend a moment in the morning at Anias to bid Him goodbye — that will do me good. Serge Tan. was to leave tonight over Kiev but got a telegram that the Akhtirtzy are being sent elsewhere & he must leave to-morrow. I wonder what new combination. — How one wishes Alexeiev had remained with Ivanov, things might have gone better — Dragomirov set all going wrong. One prays & prays & yet never enough — the Schadenfreude of Germany makes my blood boil. God must surely hearken unto our supplications & send some success at least; — now shall be having them turn towards Varsovie & many troops are near Shavli, oh God, what a hideous war! Sweet, brave Soul how I wish one could rejoice your poor, tortured heart with something bright & hopeful. I long to hold you tightly clasped in my arms, with yr. sweet head resting upon my shoulder — then I could cover Lovy's face & eyes with kisses & murmer soft words of love. I kiss your cushion at nights, thats all I have — & bless it. — Now I must go to sleep. Rest well, my treasure, I bless & kiss you ever so fondly & gently stroke your dear brow.
June 13-th. How can I thank you enough for your beloved letter, I received upon our return from the hospital. Such an intense joy hearing from you, my Angel, thanks thousands of times. But I am sad your dear heart does not feel right, please let Botkin see you upon yr. return as he can give you drops to take from time to time when you have pains. I feel so awfully for those who have anything with the heart, suffering from it myself for so many years. Hiding ones sorrow, swallowing all, makes it so bad & it gets besides phisically tired — your eyes seemed like it at times. Only always tell it me, as I have after all enough experience with heart complain[t]s & I can perhaps help you. Speak about all to me, talk it out, cry even, it makes it phisically too, easier sometimes. —
Thank God N. understood about the second class. — Forgive me, but I don't like the choice of Minister of war — you remember how you were against him, & surely rightly & N. too I fancy. He works with Xenia too — but he is a man in whom one can have any confidence, can he be trusted? How I wish I were with you & could hear all yr. reasons for choosing him. I dread N.'s nominations, N. is far from clever, obstinate & led by others — God grant I am mistaken & this choice may be blest — but I like a crow, croak over it rather. Can the man have changed so much? Has he dropped Gutchkov — is he not our Friend's enemy, as that brings bad luck. Make dear old Goremykin thoroughly speak with him, morally influence him. Oh may these 2 new ministers be the right men in the right place, ones heart is so full of anxiety & one yearns for union amongst the ministers, success. Lovy mine, tell them upon their return from the Headquarters to ask & see me, one after the other, & I shall pray hard & try my utmost to be of real use to you. Its horrid not helping & letting you have all the hard work to do. —
Our Friend dined (I think) with Shakhovskoy again & likes him — He can influence him for the good. Fancy how strange! Schtcherbatov wrote a most amiable letter to Andronnikov (after having spoken against him to you). —
There is another minister I don't like in his place, Stcheglovitov, (to speak to pleasant) he does not heed to your orders, & whenever a petition comes wh. he thinks our Friend brought, he wont do it & not long ago tore one of yours through again. Verevkine his aid (Gr.'s friend) told this — & I have noticed that he rarely does what one asks — like Timiriasev obstinate & "by the letter" not by the soul. Its right to be severe — but one might be more just than he is & kinder to the small people, more lenient. —
Our apendicitis operation went off well; saw the new officers — the poor boy with tetanos is a little better — more hopeful. — Such fine weather, am lying on the balkony & the birdies are chirruping away so gaily. — A. just sat with me, she saw Gr. this morning, he slept better for the first time since 5 nights & says its a little better at the war. He begs you most incessantly to order quickly that on one day all over the country there should be a church procession to ask for victory. God will sooner hear if all turn to Him — please give the order, any day you choose now that it should be done — send yr. order (I think) by wire (open that all can read it) to Sabler that this is yr. wish — now is Petrovski Lent, so it is yet more apropriate, & it will lift the spirit up, & be a consolation to the brave one's fighting — & tell the same thing to Shavelsky Deary — please Darling, & just that its to be an order from you, not from the Synod. — I could not see Him to-day — hope to-morrow.
A., Alia & Nini have gone by motor to Krasnoje to talk with Groten. Now I must quickly send off this letter. Marie Bariatinsky dines with us & leaves to-morrow with Olga for Kiev I think. —
God bless & protect you — heart & soul with you, prayers without end surround you. Feel sad & lowspirited, hate being separated fr. you, all the more so when you have so many worries.
But God will help & if these church processions are done, am sure He will hearken unto all prayers of your faithful people. God guard & guide you, you my very own Love.
If you have any question for our Fr. write at once.
I cover you with fondest kisses, Ever yr. own old
Wify.
Love to old man & N. P.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.
Above: Anna Vyrubova.
Above: Grigori Rasputin.
Notes: William = Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, a cousin of both Nicholas and Alexandra.
Alexandra always called Grigori Rasputin "our Friend".
Monday, September 5, 2022
Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated May 26/June 7, 1894
Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 133 to 134, by George Hawkins, 2023
May 26/June 7 1894. Krasnoe Selo.
№ 36.
My precious darling Alix,
Fondest thanks & tender kisses for your dear letter. It arrived here while I was at Gatchina, so I had it sent me over there & it came just before I was leaving. I quickly read it through, kissed my darling in my thoughts & drove off; I could not have gone away without opening the envelope — it would have burnt through my pocket! Don't you think — so, sweety-mine? Of course, those verses I copied on the card & sent you — where your's — you have written them with many other lovely ones — on that never to be forgotten Easter-night! It is sad to think that we have not spent either of our birthdays together! But "patience" again, that great quality must become our second nature — soon, let us hope, diviner days shall come.
This morning we went to church — the singing was lovely as usual — wh. helped my praying for darling "primrosy's" welfare & happiness — I felt relieved after service I assure you. I see my girly-dear agrees with me in that! — The day was very warm, but dark clowds were gathering about. We four started for a drive in a линейка (can you read that) & when we were far away in the middle of a wood — it began to pour so vehemently that we got drenched in five minutes. But the sun came out soon after & yet did not dry us! I have been packing my things because after-tomorrow Papa leaves for Peterhof — & I must have an establishment of my own there at that dear sweet little house by the sea-side, wh. is going to be ours someday & that you have never seen by the by! And fr. there I am going to leave tomorrow in a week I hope. No, that joy, that pleasure, that inexpressible delight of seeing you again — my beloved darling!
Don't answer this letter, sweet love, because I would be gone before it arrived — fancy our having lived up already to this moment!!!!! Ha! ha! then I can catch you up with the №'s of my letters — because I shall go on writing till the last day! Excuse this letter being written so atrociously, but my hand is shaking — probably from the drive just now! — Tomorrow at 12 the other battalions come over fr. town — it shall be fun & gay to see all one's comrades again! They bring the band with them wh. is a great luck! — Oh! I forgot to tell you, that yesterday Misha & Olga told me I was to congratulate you on yr. dear birthday - wh. I do only rather too late! —
2) Be happy, my love, I don't trouble you with a long letter, but it is getting late & I shall have to get up early tomorrow! — Do give many kind messages to Schneiderlein & Gretchen; don't forget Madelaine either! Now I must begin to finish my letter! So then good-bye, my own sweetest of sweet girly's in the world! My prayers & blessings follow you every moment, & myself, I only live upon my love for you — my own precious dearest Alix. Good-night, my beloved little bride, sleep well! Your affianced husband kisses you so many times — fondly! God bless you + "primrosy" darling!
Ever yr. deeply loving & devoted Ники.
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated May 24/June 5 and May 25/June 6, 1894
Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 127 to 128, by George Hawkins, 2023
Мая 24го/Июня 5го 1894. Красное Село.
N 34.
My own sweet Darling,
Many tender kisses & fondest thanks for your letter, that was lying on my table waiting for me, as I had been in town for a few hours. I lunched there at the Leuchtenberg's — Eugènes & Zina's house (the one who fährt mit dem Schwarz) and after I went to the photographer. Now, you must not laugh at me, my old owl, & think that I try to copy Ella in that! No, but I really was forced to do that for the cossack regiments who want to have me with a beard. So silly & most frightfully tiresome. But at least I seized the occasion of making quite small photos — special for my own Darling!
Sweety, your russian touches me deeper, than I can even say — if you want I can show you the few faults you have made — only don't think me too severe a judge. Well! now the lesson begins. You wrote a sweet thing: ты моего любимец — the second word ought to be — мой — because — моего — means of mine. Excuse me, darling, only I don't know — it is so difficult to explain in writing! Then there follow two phrases perfectly well written, especially as you were composing alone! Аликс, о будь как ты любима мною (by me). And you wrote любит (loves) instead of be loved — любится. The last long sentence is beautifully put in — so many thanks, you sweet little girly, for taking that trouble of writing me in russian. — My officers want me now, so I must leave you, dearest Alix, because they have decided to drink to your health & so I must go. Now you shall see whether I am fit to continue a letter after; the task may be a difficult one, but I'll have to do it, knowing that tomorrow is my own darling's dear birthday.
May 25/June 6. Blessed be this day now & forever! Oh! My darling love, you may guess, what I feel today & what I would have said in my letter, if I knew how to express my wishes & feelings properly. — I could not finish it last evening, as I came home late & was tired. The officers were very gay; my first captain Poretzki stood up & made a charming little speech, which ended by deafening cheers — all for my sweety's health! Oh! tho' nice! Then there was a supper — the first time that I have supped since our engagement! The soldiers were sent for and they sung all my favourite songs — wh. made me think so much of you, my Alixy-dear. Just now all the officers came to me in full uniform & the men also; they stood in front of my house & when I came out — the soldiers congratulated me in a chorus — wh. touched me greatly. I have just seen the telegram the officers have despatched off to you. Poor little dear — the last bits of your incognito shall vanish, but I think I shall go on writing to my beloved Baroness S. — I leave directly for Gatchina, as I have not seen Papa for two days. —
I hope Madelaine has not forgotten my commission & gave you the little birthday-present.
Now I must end this scribble! — Oh! my love, how I long for you, today still more than ever — could I only clasp you & press you to my heart. I pray to God — that the year you have come into, should be one of utter happiness & eternal sunshine for you!
Good-bye, my primrosy. With [a] thousand blessings, kisses, wishes & tenderest love, my own sweet one, ever & ever your deeply loving, true & devoted Nicky
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Baroness Sophie Buxhoeveden's account of the nosebleed Alexei suffered in December 1915 and Alexandra's belief that Rasputin saved his life again
Sources:
The Life and Tragedy of Alexandra Feodorovna, page 215, by Baroness Sophie Buxhoeveden, 1928
The account:
... On the day of Princess Orbeliani's funeral, the Emperor arrived unexpectedly from Headquarters with the little Cesarevitch, who was desperately ill. He had broken a blood-vessel in the nose, and all the doctors' efforts could not stop the haemorrhage, which had lasted for forty-eight hours. The poor child had had to be supported day and night in a half-sitting posture, and could scarcely speak. The Empress was in an agony. Always calm on the surface, she lived over again in remembrance the hours at Spala in 1912. Again the last remedy — the prayers of the Healer — was called for. The Staretz came, prayed for the child, touched his face, and, almost immediately after, the bleeding ceased. The doctors tried to explain the medical reasons for this, but the mother had seen that all their efforts had failed, and that Rasputine had succeeded. The Cesarevitch recovered, and the reputation of the Staretz as a man with heaven-sent powers stood higher than ever.
Above: Alexandra with Alexei.
Above: Grigori Rasputin.
Above: Baroness Sophie Buxhoeveden.
Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated May 23/June 4, 1894
Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 119 to 120, by George Hawkins, 2023
May 23/June 4 1894. Красное Село.
№ 33.
My own darling Alix,
No, how delighted I was on receiving this morning your lovely lynks. Thanks so many many times for having thought of me, my precious little girly-dear. I shall certainly wear them — they are so prettily desinged. In a way I prefer getting a present fr. you, my sweet child, not together with the others', but separately, so as that I can fully enjoy your gift entirely alone. I am so glad too it was taken fr. that man at Darmstadt — because even that detail is a precious one to me. — They have just brought in your sweet letter N 32 — for which I send you a loving & tender kiss. Again your little verses were so pretty! Alixy-dear, it always seems to me that I hear your sweet voice telling me those verses & I love reading them over oh! so often. I have heard from Ella today, she wrote on that green paper with lilies of the valley on it — the paper we bought at Coburg before Easter. It was an amusing but wet expedition, do you remember? The lighting and the powder being thrown about into people's faces, while Ella was arranging the things in small packets with names on them? Ach! those delightful days — that have passed only too quickly! — Darling, I find it very noughty of Gretchen's, being sulky & disagreeable in the beginning of the day. But wait, only when I come, I should like to see her behave so with you — then ha! ha! — Excuse me copying my favorite little verse you put in that letter you left in my room at Coburg — the last moment —:
"We meet not hand to hand 'tis true,
As other days have seen us.
But nought could keep my thoughts from you,
Though a world should lie between us." —
That is so exactly my own case, my beloved little Alix — probably that is why I must bring them often across my lips! — You ask me how it happened that Xenia was at Sandro's place? Well, I meant to say — his country, as he was born there at Borjom — that belongs now to Nicolai — his eldest brother. But Sandro has got a wee place at Abas-touman & has built a house, where he & Xenia are going to live in, when they come from the Crimea to see Georgie in the autumn! Es ist klar, nichtwar?
The cow hopes to be at quite another place at that time, though it would not care much to be eaten by wolves! A riddle - dear! — I enclose another story I cut out today fr. the Pall Mall! Splendid how they settle the whole thing & about the people coming! It has been pouring & blowing the whole day & now suddenly it has cleared up & the camp looks gay when the sun shines bright. I have such a pretty view from my bedroom, accross a bit of a garden, over the tents — on far off to the other end of a valley — there lies Krasnoe itself. My house is exactly opposit the garde — à cheval — Paul's regiment, which is quartered thereabout… Turn over, душка.
Oh! how divinely your dear letter does smell, something hardly perceptable of yr. delicious scent; it makes me desolate, there is nothing to remind me so awfully of my Darling's absence! Yes, my love, we might take "patience" as our motto, not only for the past, but for what has to come also. Oh! my beloved Alix, you don't know what a treasure you are to me, what a comfort — bliss & radiant happiness you have given me. If only I were more worthy of your love, yes, and I insist saying it, though you protest — I would not be ashamed of my happiness before those who are unlucky (З. В. Georgii — Sandro's brother).
God bless you + my own primrosy & sweet little pink flower! Oh! may you promptly get quite well, my own beloved one, may those pains pass away & leave you for ever strong & healthy to the joy of those who love you — that is one of my daily prayers!
I adore you so, my sweet Alix, that through you, I have learnt to love the world! Прощай радость моя, Христос с тобой. A thousand tenderest kisses, my one & all, my deeply beloved Alix, fr. yr. ever truly devoted Nicky
Душка, прелесть моя!
Above: Alix.
Above: Nicholas.
Notes: "Es ist klar, nichtwahr?" = "Is that clear?"
душка = darling.
"Прощай, радость моя, Христос с тобой" = "Goodbye, my joy, Christ be with you."
"Душка, прелесть моя!" = "Darling, my delight!"
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