Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated October 1, 1915, and Nicholas's telegram, dated October 1, 1915

Sources:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=234&skin=2021

https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/october15.html

The letter:

No. 129.
Tsarskoje Selo, October 1-st 1915
My own Beloved,
You will read these lines when the train has already carried you from us. This time you can part with a quieter heart, things, God blessed, are going better — exteriorly as interiorly our Friend is here to bless your journey. The holy feast of Pokrov may it shed its blessings upon our troops and bring us victories and the holy Virgin spread her mantle over your whole country. —

Its always the same pain to see you leave & now Baby too for the first time in his life, its not easy, its awfully hard. But for you I rejoice, at least you wont be quite alone & wont agoo wee one be proud to travel with you without any of us women near him. Quite a big boy. I am sure the troops will rejoice, when the news reaches them that he is with you — our officers in the hospital were enchanted. If you see troops beyond Pskov, please, take him also in the motor, — awfully much hope you can see some no matter how few, but it will already create joy & contentment. Wire a word from Pskov about your plans, so that I can follow you in thoughts & prayers.

Lovy my Soul! Oh how hard it is to let you go each time, tho' now I have got the hope to see you soon, but it will make you sad as I come to fetch Alexei — but not before 10 days, I suppose. —

Its so lonely without Your caresses wh. mean everything to me — ah how me loves oo, "better better every day, with unending true devotion, deeper than I can say". But these days have been awfully tiring for you & the last evening we could not even spend quietly together — its sad. — See that Tiny does not tire himself on the stairs, I regret that he does not sleep near you in the train — but at Moghilew it will be cosy — it is not necessary — even, too touching & sweet. I hope you will like my photo of Baby in the frame. Derevenko has got our presents for Baby — the tipe writing mashene he gets here & a big game when he returns — a bag in train. You will give him some writing paper & a silver bowl to have near his bed when he eats fruits in the evening, instead of a china saucer. — Ask him from time to time whether he says his prayers properly, please Deary. — Sweet One, I love you & wish I could never be parted from you & share everything with you. — Oh the joy it was having you here, my Sunshine, I shall feed on the remembrances. — Sleep well huzy, wify is ever near you, with & in you. When you remember the picture books think of old wify for ever & ever. —

God bless you & protect you, guard & guide you.
Ever Your very own old
Sunny.

I bless you.

I kiss & caress every tenderly beloved place & gaze into your deep, sweet eyes wh. long ago conquered me completely.

Love ever grows. —

Nicholas's telegram:

Telegram. Pskov. 1 October, 1915.
Hearty thanks for dear telegram. — We miss you greatly. I sat with Alexey, played various games, walked about on the stations. I have just had dinner with Marie and the Generals. To-morrow I shall inspect the troops further on. Good-night. Sleep well...

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra with Alexei.

Note: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated September 16, 1915, and Nicholas's telegram, dated September 16, 1915

Sources:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=219&skin=2021

https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/september15.html

The letter:

No. 124.
Tsarskoje Selo, Sept. 16 th 1915
My very own beloved Darling,
Ever such tender kisses and thanks for your treasure of a letter. Ah, how I love to hear fr. you, over and over I reread your letters and kiss them. Shall we really soon have you here — it seems to be too good to be true. It will then be four weeks we are separated — a rare thing in our lives, we have been such lucky creatures and therefore one feels the parting all the more. And now when times are so very hard and trying, I long quite particularly to be near you with my love and tenderness, to give you cheer and courage and to keep you up to being decided and energetic. — God help you my beloved One, to find the right issue to all the difficult questions — this is my constant earnest prayer. But I fully believe in our Friend's words that the glory of your reign is coming, ever since you stuck to your decision, against everybody's wish — and we see the good result. Continue thus, full of energy and wisdom, feeling more sure of yourself and heeding less to the advice of others. Voyeikov did not rise in my opinion this summer, I thought him cleverer and less frightened. He has never been my weakness, but I appreciate his practical brain for simple affairs and orderliness. But he is too selfsure and that has always aggravated me and his mother in law. All this must have been a good lesson to him, lets hope. Only he sticks too much to Stcherbatov, who is a null — tho' he may be a nice man — but I fear that he and Samarin are one. — Heart and soul I shall be praying for you — may the committee go off well — they made me mad last time, and when I looked through the window I did not like their faces and I blessed you over and over again from far. God give you force, wisdom and power to impress them, and to make them realise how badly they have fulfilled your orders these three weeks. You are the master — and not Gutchkov, Stcherbatov, Krivoshein, Nikolai III (as some dare call Nikolasha) Rodzianko, Savorin — they are nothing and you are all, anointed by God. —

I am too happy that Misha is with you, thats why I had to write to him — your very own brother, its just his place, and the longer he stops with you, away from her bad influence the better it is and you will get him to see things with your eyes. Do speak often about Olga, when you are out together, don't let him think badly of her. As you have much to do, tell him simply to write for you to her to tell her what you are doing — that may break the ice between them. Say it naturally, as tho' you never imagined it could be otherwise. I hope he is at last nice with good Mordvinov and does not cut that devoted, loving soul who tenderly loves him.

I do so wonder what the English wrote after you took over the command, I see no Engl. papers, so have no idea. They and the French really seem continuing to push forwards; thank goodness, that they at last could begin and let us hope it will draw some troops away from our side. After all its colossal what the Germans have to do, and one cannot but admire how well and systematically all is operated — did our "mashene" work as well as theirs wh. is of long training and preparation and had we the same amount of railways, war would for sure already have been over. Our Generals are not well enough prepared — tho' many were at the Japanese war, and the Germans have had no war since ages. How much there is to learn from them, wh. is good and necessary for our nation and other things one can turn away from with horror. There was little news in the papers, and you wired last night that the news was good, so that means that we are firmly keeping them at bay. — There are 9 degr. this morning, and it is grey and rainy, not inviting weather. —

Little Nadinka Arseniev is coming to me this morning — poor girl, she was so touched by my letter and yr. sympathy I expressed them all, that she begged me to see her, as none had written so kindly. Poor, foolish child, what will become of her and her brother with all their old nurses and governesses. Her Father was everything to her in life. —

All my thoughts are with you, Sweetheart and those odious Ministers, whose opposition makes me rage — God help you to impress them with yr. firmness and knowledge of the situation and yr. great disapprouval of their behaviour — wh. at such a moment is nothing else but treacherous. But personally I think you will be obliged to change Stcherbatov, Samarin probably longnosed Sazonov and Krivoshein too — they wont change and you cannot keep such types to fight against a new Duma.

How one is tired of all these questions — the war is quite enough and all the misery it has brought and now one must think and work to set all to rights and see that nothing is wanted for the troops, wounded, cripples, families, and refugees. — I shall anxiously await a telegram fr. you, tho' you wont be able to put much in it. —

I am glad my long letters don't bore you and that you feel cosy reading them. I cannot talk with you on paper at least, otherwise it would be too hard, this separation and all the rest wh. worries one. —

Gregory telegraphed that Suslik shld. return and then made us understand that Khvostov wld. be good. You remember, he went once to see him (I think by yr. wish) to N. Novgorod. — I do so long for at last things to go smoother and let you feel you can quite give yourself up to the war and its interests. — How do you think about what I wrote of Ivanov as aid, so as that Alexeiev wont carry all the responsibility when you are off and on away, here or inspecting the troops, wh. I do wish you could soon do — en passant, without preparation by motor fr. a bigger place — nobody will watch 2 motors or 3 even and you could rejoice yr. heart and theirs. — Xenia and Sandro lunch, Aunt Sasha comes to tea and then, I think, I must go for the carrying out of the body of Arseniev as thats not long and then to-morrow to the funeral at Znamenia.

I am so glad the flowers arrive fresh — they cheer up the room and they come out of my vases with all my love and tenderness. — I wonder, whether you asked Stcherbatov what he meant by telling you that nothing wld. be printed in the papers about the speeches at Moscou, when they wrote whatsoever they wished. Coward that he is! —

I am choosing photos. I made, so as to have an album printed for Xmas (like A. Alex's) for charity, and I think it will sell well, as the small albums with my photos sold at once here this summer — and in the Crimea. —

Went for a drive to Pavlovsk with Anastasia, Marie and Ania, — the weather was lovely, the sun shone and all glittered like gold, a real treat such weather. At first I placed candles before the Virgin's Image, and St. Nicolas at Znamenia and prayed fervently for you. Church was being cleaned up, palms being stood and blue carpets arranged for poor Arseniev. Aunt Sasha took tea and chattered a lot and abused nobody, I could not keep her long as wanted to go with Olga to the funeral procession — of course because of the old woman we were late and they were just carrying him out, so we followed with Nadinka till the street and he was put on the funeral car and then we came home, as I go to-morrow to the funeral. Stepanov, — Ella had sent, — Skariatin, her old brother was there, Balashov; the 2 sons, Benkendorf, Putiatin, Nebolsin and 2 officers of the Naval corps. — Nadinka had been with me in the morning — talked a lot and did not cry, very caressing and grateful. She begs you whether she might remain on living in the little house with her poor brother, as they lived there so long with the Parents and their graves are at Tsarskoje. — Perhaps one might for the present at least, don't you think so? Ella wrote and wishes me to give over how much she thinks of you and with what love and constant prayers. I send you a paper of hers wh. read through and find out the truth about it, please — Voyeikov can do that, or still better from your new staff. — I don't need the paper again. —

How one longs to fly away together and forget all — one gets at times so weary — my spirit is good but so disgusted with all one says. I fear Gadon is playing a bad part at Elagin, because one says the conversations there against our Friend are awfull — old Mme Orlov had heard this — she knows ladies who go there. When you see poor Motherdear, you must rather sharply tell her how pained you are, that she listens to slander and does not stop it, as it makes mischief, and others wld. be delighted, I am sure, to put her against me — people are so mean. — How I wish Misha could be a help in that. — Precious one we met some of the Cosacks riding at Pavlovsk and I loved them not only for themselves, but because they had seen and guarded you and been in battle. —

Beloved, I must end. God Almighty bless and protect, guard and guide you now and ever.
I kiss you with endless tenderness and fathomless love, ever yr. very own
Sunny.

Xenia looks better, they told nothing interesting.

So anxious how all went off.

Nicholas's telegram:

Telegram. Stavka. 16 September, 1915.
Thanks for good wishes. The conference passed off well.

I told them my opinion sternly to their faces. I am sorry that I had no time to write. Lovely weather. The news is much better. I love you and kiss you fondly.
NICKY.

Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Maria and Anastasia.

Above: Anna Vyrubova.

Above: Olga.

Notes: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".

en passant = in passing.

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated September 6, 1915, and Nicholas's telegram and letter, dated September 6, 1915

Sources:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=194&skin=2021

https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/september15.html

The letter:

No. 114.
Tsarskoje Selo, Sept. 6-th 1915
Beloved Nicky dear,
Every morning & evening I bless & then kiss your cushion & one of your Images. I always bless you whilst you sleep & I get up to draw open the curtains. Wify sleeps all alone down here, & the wind is howling melancholy to-night. How lonely you must feel, wee One. Are your rooms at least not too hideous? Cannot N. P. or Drenteln photo them? All day impatiently I await your dear telegram wh. either comes during dinner or towards 11. —

So many yellow & copper leaves, & alas also many are beginning to fall — sad autumn has already set in — the wounded feel melancholy as they cannot sit out but rarely & their limbs ache when its damp — they almost all have become barometers. We send them off as quickly as possible to the Crimea.

Taube left yesterday with several others to Yalta as a surgeon must watch his wound & my little Ivanov's too. — Ania dined with me yesterday upstairs. To-day is Isa's birthday, so I have invited her with Ania to luncheon. — Oh beloved One — 2 weeks you left, — me loves you so intensely & I long to hold you in my arms & cover your sweet face with gentle kisses & gaze into your big beautiful eyes — now you cant prevent me from writing it, you bad boy.

When will some of our dear troops have that joy? Wont it be a recompense to see you! Navruzov wrote, he at last tried to return to his regiment after 9 months, but only got as far as Kars, his wound reopened again a fistula & he needs dressings, so once more his hopes are frustrated — but he begged Jagmin for work & he has sent him to Armavir with the young soldiers to train them & look after the youngest officers.

It is so nice to feel ones dear wounded remember one & write. Madame Zizi also often hears from those that lay in the big palace. —

Have you news from Misha? I have no idea where he is. Do get him to stop a bit with you — get him quite to yourself. — N. P. writes so contented & spirits up — anything better than town.

It seems Aunt Olga before coming to see me had flown half wild to Paul saying the revolution has begun, there will be bloodshed, we shall all be got rid of, Paul must fly to Goremykin & so on — poor soul! To me she came already quieter & left quite calm — she & Mavra probably got a fright, the atmosphere spread there too from Petrograd. —

Grey & only 5 degrees. — The big girls have gone to Church at 9 & I go with the others at 10½. — Isa has cought cold & 38 this morning, so has to keep in bed. The news is good again in the south, but they are quite close to Vilna wh. is despairing — but their forces are so colossal. — You wired you had written so I am eagerly awaiting your letter, Lovy — its sad only with telegrams in wh. one cannot give any news, but I know you have no time for writing, & when working hard to have still to sit down to a letter, thats dull & wearisome work; & you have every moment taken too, Sweetheart.

I had Markozov from 6¼ to 8 so have to write whilst eating — most interesting all he told & can be of use to abolish misunderstandings, cant write about anything of that to-night. — Old man came to me — so hard for him, ministers so rotten to him, I think they want to ask for their leave & the best thing too. —

Sazonov is the worst, cries, excites all (when it has nothing to do with him), does not come to the conseil des Ministers, wh. is an unheard of thing — Fred. ought to tell him fr. you that you have heard of it & are very displeased, I find. I call it a strike of the ministers. Then they go & speak of everything wh. is spoken of & discussed in the Council & they have no right to, makes him so angry. You ought to wire to the old man that you forbid one talking outside what is spoken of at the Council of Ministers & wh. concerns nobody. There are things that can & wh. are known later, but not everything. —

If in any way you feel he hinders, is an obstacle for you, then you better let him go (he says all this) but if you keep him he will do all you order & try on his best — but begs you to think this over for when you return to seriously decide, also Stcherbatov's successor & Sazonov. — He told Stcherbatov he finds absolutely a person chosen by Stcherbatov ought to be present at Moscou at all these meetings & forbid any touching of questions wh. dont concern them — he has the right as Minister of the Interior; Stcherbatov agreed at first, but after having seen people fr. Moscou he changed his mind & no more agreed — he was to tell you all this, Goremykin told him to — did he? Do answer. — Then he begs D. Mrazovsky. should quickly go to Moscou, as his presence may be needed any day. — I don't admire Yussupov leaving (its her fault) but he was not worth much. — And now we have left Vilna — what pain, but God will help — its not our fault with these terrible losses. Soon is the Sweet Virgin's feast 8-th (my day, do you remember Mr. Philippe) — she will help us. —

Our Friend wires, probably after her letter his wife brought, telling about all the interior difficulties. "Do not fear our personal embarassments, the protection of the Holy Mother is over you — go to the hospitals though the enemies are menacing — have faith." Well I have no fright, that you know. — In Germany one hates me now too He said & I understand it — its but natural. —

How I understand, how disagreeable to change your place — but of course you need being further from the big line. But God will not forsake our troops, they are so brave. —

I must end now, Lovebird. — Alright about Boris, only is it the moment? Then make him remain at the war & not return here, he must lead a better life than at Warshaw & understand the great honour for one so young. — Its a pitty, true, that not Misha.

The German nurses left for Russia, & Maria had no time to see them, me they did not ask to see, probably hate me. —

Oh Treasure, how I long to be with you, hate not being near, not to be able to hold you tight in my arms & cover you with kisses — alone in yr. pain over the war news — yearn over you. God bless help, strengthen comfort, guard & guide. —
Ever yr. very own
Wify.

Nicholas's telegram:

Telegram. Stavka. 6 September, 1915.
Thank you with all my heart for your letter and the flowers, which have arrived quite fresh. It is cold, rainy, stormy. I hope that in a few days the news from that place will be better. I kiss all fondly.
NICKY.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria and Anastasia. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Grigori Rasputin.

Above: Baroness Sophie "Isa" Buxhoeveden.

Above: Anna Vyrubova.

Note: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated August 22, 1915

Source:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=165&skin=2021

The letter:

No. 98.
Tsarskoje Selo, Aug. 22-nd 1915
My very own beloved One,
I cannot find words to express all I want to — my heart is far too full. I only long to hold you tight in my arms & whisper words of intense love, courage, strength & endless blessings. More than hard to let you go alone, so completely alone — but God is very near to you, more then ever. You have fought this great fight for your country & throne — alone & with bravery & decision. Never have they seen such firmness in you before & it cannot remain without good fruit.

Do not fear for what remains behind — one must be severe & stop all at once. Lovy, I am here, dont laugh at silly old wify, but she has "trousers" on unseen, & I can get the old man to come & keep him up to be energetic — whenever I can be of the smallest use, tell me what to do — use me — at such a time God will give me the strength to help you — because our souls are fighting for the right against the evil. It is all much deeper than appears to the eye — we, who have been taught to look at all from another side, see what the struggle here really is & means — you showing your mastery, proving yourself the Autocrat without wh. Russia cannot exist. Had you given in now in these different questions, they would have dragged out yet more of you. Being firm is the only saving — I know what it costs you, & have & do suffer hideously for you, forgive me, I beseech you, my Angel, for having left you no peace & worried you so much — but I too well know yr. marvelously gentle character — & you had to shake it off this time, had to win your fight alone against all. It will be a glorious page in yr. reign & Russian history the story of these weeks & days — & God, who is just & near you — will save your country & throne through your firmness.

A harder battle has rarely been fought, than yours & it will be crowned with success, only believe this.

Yr. faith has been tried — your trust — & you remained firm as a rock, for that you will be blessed. God anointed you at your coronation, he placed you were you stand & you have done your duty, be sure, quite sure of this & He forsaketh not His anointed. Our Friend's prayers arise night & day for you to Heaven & God will hear them.

Those who fear & cannot understand your actions, will be brought by events to realise your great wisdom. It is the beginning of the glory of yr. reign, He said so & I absolutely believe it. Your Sun is rising — & to-day it shines so brightly. And so will you charm all those great blunderers, cowards, lead astray, noisy, blind, narrowminded & (dishonest false) beings, this morning.

And your Sunbeam will appear to help you, your very own Child — won't that touch those hearts & make them realise what you are doing, & what they dared to wish to do, to shake your throne, to frighten you with internal black forebodings — only a bit of success out there & they will change. They will (?) disperse home into clean air & their minds will be purified & they carry the picture of you & yr. Son in their hearts with them. —

I do hope Goremykin will agree to yr. choice of Khvostov — you need an energetic minister of the interior — should he be the wrong man, he can later be changed — no harm in that, at such times — but if energetic he may help splendidly & then the old man does not matter.

If you take him, then only wire to me "tail (Khvostov) alright" & I shall understand. —
Let no talks worry you — am glad Dmitri wont be there — snap up Voyeikov if he is stupid — am sure he is afraid meeting people there who may think he was against Nikolasha & Orlov & to smoothe things, he begs you for Nikolasha — that would be the greatest fault & undo all you have so courageously done & the great internal fight would have been for nothing. Too kind, don't be, I mean not specially, as otherwise it would be dishonest, as still there have been things you were discontented with him about. Remind others about Misha, the Emperor's brother & then there is war there too. —

All is for the good, as our Friend says, the worst is over. — Now you speak to the Minister of war & he will take energetic measures, as soon as needed — but Khvostov, will see to that too if you name him. — When you leave, shall wire to Friend to-night through Ania — & He will particularly think of you. Only get Nikolasha's nomination quicker done — no dawdling, its bad for the cause & for Alexejev too — & a settled thing quieten minds, even if against their wish, sooner than that waiting & uncertainty & trying to influence you — it tires out ones heart.
I feel completely done up & only keep myself going with force — they shall not think that I am downhearted or frightened — but confident & calm. —

Joy we went to those holy places to-gether — for sure yr. dear Father quite particularly prays for you. —

Give me some news as soon as you can — now am afraid for the moment N. P. wiring to Ania until am sure nobody watches again.

Tell me the impression, if you can. Be firm to the end, let me be sure of that otherwise shall get quite ill from anxiety.

Bitter pain not to be with you — know what you feel, & the meeting with N. wont be agreeable — you did trust him & now you know, what months ago our Friend said, that he was acting wrongly towards you & your country & wife — its not the people who would do harm to your people, but Nikolasha & set Gutchkov, Rodzianko, Samarin etc. —

Lovy, if you hear I am not so well, don't be anxious, I have suffered so terribly, & phisically overtired myself these 2 days, & morally worried (& worry still till all is done at the Headquarters & Nikolasha gone) only then shall I feel calm — near you all is well — when out of sight others at once profit — you are they are affraid of me & so come to you when alone — they know I have a will of my own when I feel I am in the right — & you are now — we know it, so you make them tremble before your courage & will. God is with you & our Friend for you — all is well — & later all will thank you for having saved your country. Don't doubt — believe, & all will be well & the army is everything — a few strikes nothing, in comparison, as can & shall be suppressed. The left are furious because all slips through their hands & their cards are clear to us & the game they wished to use Nikolasha for — even Shvedov knows it fr. there.

Now goodnight lovy, go straight to bed without tea with the rest & their long faces. Sleep long & well, you need rest after this strain & your heart needs calm hours. — God Almighty bless your undertaking, His holy Angels guard & guide you & bless the work of your hands. — Please give this little Image of St. John the Warrior to Alexeiev with my blessing & fervent wishes. You have my Image I blessed you with last year — I give no other as that carries my blessing & you have Gregory's St. Nicolas to guard & guide you. I always place a candle before St. Nicolas at Znamenje for you — & shall do, so to-morrow at 3 o'clock & before the Virgin. You will feel my soul near you.

I clasp you tenderly to my heart, kiss and caress you without end — want to show you all the intense love I have for you, warm, cheer, console, strengthen you, & make you sure of yourself. Sleep well my Sunshine, Russia's Saviour. Remember last night, how tenderly we clung to-gether. I shall yearn for yr. caresses — I never can have enough of them. And I still have the children, & you are all alone. Another time I must give you Baby for a bit to cheer you up. —

I kiss you without end & bless you. Holy Angels guard your slumber — I am near & with you for ever & ever & none shall seperate us. —
Yr. very own wife
Sunny.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria, Anastasia and Alexei.

Above: Grigori Rasputin.

Note: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated June 12 and 13, 1915

Source:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=142&skin=2021

The letter:

No. 84.

Tsarskoje Selo, June 12-th 1915

My very Own,

I begin my letter still to-night, as to-morrow morning I hope to go to the hospital & shall have less time for writing. Ania & I took a nice drive to Pavlovsk this afternoon — in the shade it was quite cool; we lunched & took tea on the balkony, but in the evening it got too fresh to sit out. From 9½-11½ we were at Anias, I worked on the sopha, the 3 girls and officers played games. I am tired after my first outing. — My Lvov stores is now at Rovno near the station for the time — God grant we shant be driven back fr. there too. — That we had to leave that town is hard, but still it was not quite ours yet — nevertheless its sad to have fallen into other hands — William will now be sleeping in old Fr. J's bed wh. you occupied one night — I don't like that, its humiliating, — but that one can bear — but to think that once more the same battle-fields may be strewn with the bodies of our brave men — thats heartrending. But I ought not to speak to you in this tone, you have enough sorrow — my letters must be cheery ones, but its a bit difficult when heart & soul are sad. I hope to see our Friend a moment in the morning at Anias to bid Him goodbye — that will do me good. Serge Tan. was to leave tonight over Kiev but got a telegram that the Akhtirtzy are being sent elsewhere & he must leave to-morrow. I wonder what new combination. — How one wishes Alexeiev had remained with Ivanov, things might have gone better — Dragomirov set all going wrong. One prays & prays & yet never enough — the Schadenfreude of Germany makes my blood boil. God must surely hearken unto our supplications & send some success at least; — now shall be having them turn towards Varsovie & many troops are near Shavli, oh God, what a hideous war! Sweet, brave Soul how I wish one could rejoice your poor, tortured heart with something bright & hopeful. I long to hold you tightly clasped in my arms, with yr. sweet head resting upon my shoulder — then I could cover Lovy's face & eyes with kisses & murmer soft words of love. I kiss your cushion at nights, thats all I have — & bless it. — Now I must go to sleep. Rest well, my treasure, I bless & kiss you ever so fondly & gently stroke your dear brow.

June 13-th. How can I thank you enough for your beloved letter, I received upon our return from the hospital. Such an intense joy hearing from you, my Angel, thanks thousands of times. But I am sad your dear heart does not feel right, please let Botkin see you upon yr. return as he can give you drops to take from time to time when you have pains. I feel so awfully for those who have anything with the heart, suffering from it myself for so many years. Hiding ones sorrow, swallowing all, makes it so bad & it gets besides phisically tired — your eyes seemed like it at times. Only always tell it me, as I have after all enough experience with heart complain[t]s & I can perhaps help you. Speak about all to me, talk it out, cry even, it makes it phisically too, easier sometimes. —

Thank God N. understood about the second class. — Forgive me, but I don't like the choice of Minister of war — you remember how you were against him, & surely rightly & N. too I fancy. He works with Xenia too — but he is a man in whom one can have any confidence, can he be trusted? How I wish I were with you & could hear all yr. reasons for choosing him. I dread N.'s nominations, N. is far from clever, obstinate & led by others — God grant I am mistaken & this choice may be blest — but I like a crow, croak over it rather. Can the man have changed so much? Has he dropped Gutchkov — is he not our Friend's enemy, as that brings bad luck. Make dear old Goremykin thoroughly speak with him, morally influence him. Oh may these 2 new ministers be the right men in the right place, ones heart is so full of anxiety & one yearns for union amongst the ministers, success. Lovy mine, tell them upon their return from the Headquarters to ask & see me, one after the other, & I shall pray hard & try my utmost to be of real use to you. Its horrid not helping & letting you have all the hard work to do. —

Our Friend dined (I think) with Shakhovskoy again & likes him — He can influence him for the good. Fancy how strange! Schtcherbatov wrote a most amiable letter to Andronnikov (after having spoken against him to you). —

There is another minister I don't like in his place, Stcheglovitov, (to speak to pleasant) he does not heed to your orders, & whenever a petition comes wh. he thinks our Friend brought, he wont do it & not long ago tore one of yours through again. Verevkine his aid (Gr.'s friend) told this — & I have noticed that he rarely does what one asks — like Timiriasev obstinate & "by the letter" not by the soul. Its right to be severe — but one might be more just than he is & kinder to the small people, more lenient. —

Our apendicitis operation went off well; saw the new officers — the poor boy with tetanos is a little better — more hopeful. — Such fine weather, am lying on the balkony & the birdies are chirruping away so gaily. — A. just sat with me, she saw Gr. this morning, he slept better for the first time since 5 nights & says its a little better at the war. He begs you most incessantly to order quickly that on one day all over the country there should be a church procession to ask for victory. God will sooner hear if all turn to Him — please give the order, any day you choose now that it should be done — send yr. order (I think) by wire (open that all can read it) to Sabler that this is yr. wish — now is Petrovski Lent, so it is yet more apropriate, & it will lift the spirit up, & be a consolation to the brave one's fighting — & tell the same thing to Shavelsky Deary — please Darling, & just that its to be an order from you, not from the Synod. — I could not see Him to-day — hope to-morrow.

A., Alia & Nini have gone by motor to Krasnoje to talk with Groten. Now I must quickly send off this letter. Marie Bariatinsky dines with us & leaves to-morrow with Olga for Kiev I think. —

God bless & protect you — heart & soul with you, prayers without end surround you. Feel sad & lowspirited, hate being separated fr. you, all the more so when you have so many worries.

But God will help & if these church processions are done, am sure He will hearken unto all prayers of your faithful people. God guard & guide you, you my very own Love.

If you have any question for our Fr. write at once.

I cover you with fondest kisses, Ever yr. own old

Wify.

Love to old man & N. P.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Above: Anna Vyrubova.

Above: Grigori Rasputin.

Notes: William = Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, a cousin of both Nicholas and Alexandra.

Alexandra always called Grigori Rasputin "our Friend".

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated June 12, 1915, and Nicholas's telegram and letter, dated June 12, 1915

Sources:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=140&skin=2021

https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/june15.html

The letter:

No. 83.

Tsarskoje Selo, June 12-th 1915

My very own precious One,

With such anxiety I wait for news & eagerly read the morning papers so as to know what happens. —

Glorious weather again — yesterday during dinner (on the balkony) there was a colossal downpour, seems it must daily rain, personally I have nothing against it, as always dread the heat & yesterday it was very hot & Ania's temper beastly, wh. did not make me feel better — grumbling against everybody & everything & strong hidden pricks at you & me. — This afternoon I may drive & to-morrow I hope to go (after a week's absence) to the hospital, as one of the officers must have his apendicitis cut off. —

Dmitri had his leg put in plaster of Paris Gypsum & to-day they are going to look with Röntgen-rays to see whether the leg is really broken, crushed or strained — what bad luck always!

Sweet one, please remember the question about the Tobolsk Tatars to be called in — they are splendid, devoted fellows & no doubt would go with joy & pride. — I found a paper of old Marie Feod. you once brought me, & as it is funny, I send it to you. —

I saw Mme Hartwig yesterday — she told me many interesting things when they left Lvov — & sad impressions of soldiers being depressed & saying that they wont return to fight the enemy with empty fists — the rage of the officers against Soukhomlinov is quite colossal — poor man — his very name they loathe & yearn for him to be sent away — well for his sake too, before any scandle arises, it would be better to do so. It is his adventurer wife who has completely ruined his reputation — because of her bribes he suffers & so on; — one says it is his fault there is no ammunition wh. is our curse now etc. I tell you this to show you what impressions she brought back. —

How one craves for a miracle to bring success, that ammunition & rifles should do double work! —

Wonder how the spirit in the Head-Quarters is? — Would to God N. were another man & had not turned against a man of Gods, that always brings bad luck to their work & those women wont let him change; he recieved decorations without end & thanks for all — but too early — its pain to think he got so much & nearly all has been retaken.

But God Almighty will help & better days will come, I feel convinced. Such trials for you to bear my own Sunshine. I long to be with you, to know how you are feeling morally — brave & calm as usual, the pain hidden away as usual. God help you my very own sweet Sufferer & give you strength, trust & courage. Yr. reign has been one of sore trials, but the recompense must come some day, God is just. — The little birdies are singing away so cheerily & a soft breeze comes in by the window. When I finish my letter, I shall get up; — these quiet days have done my heart good.

Give many kind messages to the old man & N. P. I am glad the latter is near you, I feel a warm heart with you & that makes me quieter for your sweet sake. —

Try & write a wee word for Marie, her 16 birthday being on Sunday. —

Tatiana went for a ride yesterday, I encouraged her, the others were of course too lazy & went to the Nurse's school to play with the babies. —

A Pr. Galitzine Serg. Mikh. died at Lausanne — I suppose its the man of many wives. —

Now my own Nicky darling, I must say goodbye. I regret having nothing of interest to tell you.

The 4 Trepov daughters beg to thank you ever so deeply for having permitted their mother to be buried next to their Father — they saw his coffin, still quite intact. —

Blessings without end be yours, my Love, I cover yr. sweet face with kisses, & remain

Ever yr. very own

Sunny.

Nicholas's telegram:

Telegram. Stavka. 12 June, 1915.

Hearty thanks for charming letter; I also thank Olga for her letter. After a rainy night we are having dull, warm weather. I have a great deal of work to do, but shall try to write.

Nicholas's letter:

Stavka. 12 June, 1915.

BELOVED WIFY MINE,

I thank you most warmly for both your sweet letters — they have refreshed me. This time I left with such a heavy heart! I thought of all the various and difficult questions — of the change of Ministers, of the Duma, of the 2nd Category, and so on. When I arrived I found N. grave, but quite calm. He told me that he understood the seriousness of the moment and that he had received a letter to that effect from Goremykin. I asked him whom he would recommend in Soukhomlinov's place. He answered — Polivanov.

Having looked over the list of Generals' names, I have come to the conclusion that, at the present juncture, he might prove a suitable man. He has been sent for, and arrived this afternoon. I spoke absolutely frankly with him, and told him why I had been dissatisfied with him before — A. Goutchkov, etc. He replied that he knew it, and that already, for three years, he had been carrying the burden of my displeasure. He has lost his son during the war, and has greatly and efficiently helped Alek.

I hope, therefore, that his appointment will turn out to be successful. To-day I saw Krivoshein as well, and had a long conversation with him. He was less nervous, and consequently more judicious. I sent for Goremykin and several of the older Ministers; to-morrow we shall discuss some of these questions and shall pass over nothing in silence. Yes, my own darling, I am beginning to feel my old heart. The first time it was in August of last year, after the Samsonov catastrophe, and again now — it feels so heavy in the left side when I breathe. But what can one do!

Alas! I must finish; they are all gathering for dinner at the big tent. God bless you, my treasure, my consolation and happiness! I kiss you all warmly.

Always your hubby

The weather is divine.

Nicky.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Anna Vyrubova.

Above: Maria. Photo courtesy of Ilya Chishko on Flickr.

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated June 10, 1915

Source:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=138&skin=2021

The letter:

No. 81.

Tsarskoje Selo, June 10-th 1915

My very own precious One,

It is with a heavy heart I let you leave this time — everything is so serious & just now particularly painful & I long to be with you, to share your worries & anxieties. You bear all so bravely & by yourself — let me help you my Treasure. Surely there is some way in wh. a woman can be of help & use. I do so yearn to make it easier for you & the ministers all squabbling amongst each other at a time, when all ought to work together & forget their personal offenses — have as aim the wellfare of their Sovereign & Country — it makes me rage. In other words its treachery, because people know it, they feel the government in discord & then the left profit by it. If you could only be severe, my Love, it is so necessary, they must hear your voice & see displeasure in yr. eyes.; they are too much accustomed to your gentle, forgiving kindness.

Sometimes a word gently spoken carries far — but at a time, such as we are now living through, one needs to hear your voice uplifted in protest & repremand when they continue not obeying yr. orders, when they dawdle in carrying them out. They must learn to tremble before you — you remember Mr. Ph. & Gr. say the same thing too. You must simply order things to be done, not asking if they are possible (you will never ask anything unreasonable or a folly) — for instance, order as in France (a Republic) other fabrics to make shells, cartridges (if guns & rifles too complicated) — let the big fabrics send teacher — where there is a will there is a way & they must all realise that you insist upon yr. wish being speedily fulfilled. It is for them to find the people, the fabricants, to settle all going, let them go about & see to the work being done, themselves. You know how talented our people are, how gifted — only lazy & without initiative, start them going, & they can do anything, only dont ask, but order straight off, be energetic for yr. country's sake!

The same about the question wh. our Friend takes so to heart & wh. is the most serious of all, for internal peace's sake — the not calling in the Second class — if the order has been given, you tell N. that you insist upon its counterordering — by your name to wait, the kind act must come fr. you — dont listen to any excuses — (am sure it was unintentionally done out of not having knowledge of the country). Therefore our Friend dreads yr. being at the Headquarters as all come round with their own explanations & involuntarily you give in to them, when yr. own feeling has been the right one, but did not suit theirs. Remember you have reigned long, have far more experience than they — N. has only the army to think of & success — you carry the internal responsabilities on for years — if he makes faults (after the war he is nobody), but you have to set all straight. No, hearken unto our Friend, beleive Him, He has yr. interest & Russians at heart — it is not for nothing God sent Him to us — only we must pay more attention to what He says — His words are not lightly spoken — & the gravity of having not only His prayers, but His advise — is great. The Ministers did not think of telling you, that this measure is a fatal one, but He did. — How hard it is not to be with you, to talk over all quietly & to help you being firm. — Shall follow & be near you in thoughts & prayers all the time. May God bless & protect you, my brave, patient, humble one. I cover yr. sweet face with endless, tender kisses, — love you beyond words, my own, very own Sunshine & joy. — I bless you. — Sad not to pray together, but Botk. finds wiser my remaining quiet, so as soon to be quite alright again.

Yr. own

Wify.

Our Marie will be 16 on the 14-th, so give her diamond-necklace fr. us, like the other two got. —

Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Nicholas. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Grigori Rasputin.

Above: Maria.

Notes: Alexandra always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".

It was Nicholas and Alexandra's custom to give each of their daughters a special diamond necklace when one of them had her sixteenth birthday. Due to unforeseen circumstances (Nicholas's abdication and the house arrest), the youngest daughter Anastasia did not receive such a necklace on her sixteenth birthday in 1917.

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated June 11, 1915, and Nicholas's telegram, dated June 11, 1915

Sources:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=139&skin=2021

https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/june15.html

The letter:

No. 82.

Tsarskoje Selo, June 11-th 1915

My very own precious One,

All my tenderest thoughts surround you in love and longing. It was a lovely surprise, when you suddenly turned up again — I had been praying & crying & feeling wretched. You don't know how hard it is being without you & how terribly I always miss you. Your dear telegram was such a consolation, as I felt very low & Ania's odious humour towards me (not to the Children) did anything but enliven my afternoon & evening. — We dined out & took tea on the balkony — this morning its glorious again — I am still in bed, resting you see, as heart not quite the thing, tho' not enlarged — I have been sorting out photos to be glued into albums for the exhibition-bazaar here. — Fancy, big Marie Bariat.'s husband died from a stroke on the 9-th at Berejany in a property named Raï — one carries his body to Tarnopol. He was Commissioner of the red cross at the 11-th Army, can imagine Marie & Olga's despair, as they loved so their brother Ivan. Then the old C. Olsufiev has died — they lived as turtledoves, she will be brokenhearted. — One hears of nothing but deaths it seems to me. — Fancy, what I did last night in bed? I fished out yr. old letters & read through many of them, & those few before we were engaged — & all yr. words of intense love & tenderness warmed up my aching heart, & it seemed to me, as tho' I heard you speaking.

I numbered yours, the last 176 fr. the Head-Quarters. You number my yesterdays please, 313 — I hope my letter did not displease you but I am haunted by our Friend's wish & know it will be fatal for us & the country if not fulfilled. He means what He says, when speaks so seriously — He was much against yr. going to L. & P. — it was too soon, we see it now — was much against the war — was against the people of the Duma coming, an ugly act of Rodz. & the speeches ought not to have been printed (I find).

Please, my Angel, make N. see with your eyes — dont give in to any of the 2-nd class being taken — put it off as long as only possible — they have to work in the fields, fabrics, on steamers etc.; rather take the recroutes for next year now — please listen to His advise when spoken so gravely & wh. gave Him sleepless nights — one fault & we shall all have to pay for it. — I wonder what humour you found at the Head-Quarters & whether the heat is very great. —

Felix told Ania that one threw (then) stones at Ella's carriage & spat at her, but she did not wish to speak to us about it — they feared disorders these days again — don't know why. — The big girls are in the hospital, yesterday all 4 worked in the stores — bandages — & later went to Irina. — How do you feel, my Love, your beloved and sad eyes haunt me still. Dear Olga wrote a sweet letter & kisses you & asks sweetly how you bear all, tho' she knows you will always wear a cheery face & carry all hidden inside. I fear often for yr. poor heart — it was so much to bear — speak out to yr. old wify — bride of the bygone — share all with me, it may make it easier — tho' sometimes one has more strength carrying alone, not letting oneself get soft — the phisical heart gets so bad from it, I know it but too well. Lovebird, I kiss you without end, bless you, cover yr. precious face with kisses & long to let your dear head rest upon my old breast, so full of unutterable love & devotion.

Ever yr. own old

Alix.

I receive Mme Hartwig, Rauchfuss, the 4 Trepov daughters (2 married). Remember to speak about the wounded officers being allowed to finish their cures at home befor returning for 2, 3 or 4 time to battle, its cruel & unjust otherwise. N. must give Alek the order.

My love to the old man & N. P.

Nicholas's telegram:

Telegram. Stavka. 11 June, 1915.

Have arrived safely. During the journey had heavy warm rain. Thanks for news. There is nothing specially bad to report. I hope you will soon feel quite strong again...

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Above: Grigori Rasputin.

Above: Anna Vyrubova.

Above: Ella.

Note: Alexandra always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas and Nicholas's telegram, dated May 7, 1915

Sources:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=133&skin=2021

https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/may15.html

The letter:

No. 76.

Tsarskoje Selo, May 7-th 1915

My very own Angel,

Again I write in full haste, no quiet time. — Yesterday evening were at Ania's.

Slept not famously — heart heavy of anxiety, hate not being with you when trying times. — This morning after Znamenje peeped in to Anias, her sweet nieces & Alia overnighted in her house so as to get good air. — Then we had an operation — anxious one, serious case — & worked till after I. Before 2 said goodbye to Karangozov & Gordinsky, then Tatiana's committee — big group 2¼ to four.

Went to A. till 5, saw our Friend there — thinks much of you, prays, "we sat and talked together, — and still God will help."

Its horrid not being with you at a time so full of heartache & anxiety — would to God I could be of help to you — one comfort N. P. is near you & then I am quieter — a natural, warm heart & kind look helps when worries fill the soul; not a fat O. or Drent. As the cosacks begged everytime so much, have said two or 1 officer may come with us. — Fear it will be very official still, but our Fr. wants me to go on such journeys. —

Treasure of my soul, Angel beloved, God help you, console & strengthen & help our brave heroes. —

I kiss you over & over again & bless you without end. Must finish.

Ever yr. very own

Wify.

Nicholas's telegram:

Telegram. Stavka. 7 May, 1915.

Best thanks for sweet letter. Tell her that I was touched by her note. The news is unsatisfactory. I wish you a happy journey, and hope that it will not prove fatiguing. I kiss you fondly.

Nicky.

Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of tashusik2 on Flickr.

Above: Nicholas. Photo courtesy of tashusik2 on Flickr.

Above: Anna Vyrubova.

Above: Grigori Rasputin.

Note: Alexandra always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated May 4, 1915, and Nicholas's telegram, dated May 5, 1915

Sources:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=131&skin=2021

https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/may15.html

The letter:

No. 73.

Tsarskkoje Selo, May 4-th 1915

My own sweetest of Sweets,

You will read these lines before going to bed — remember Wify will be praying & thinking of you, oh so much, & miss you quite terribly. So sad we shall not spend your dear birthday together — the first time! May God bless you richly, give you strength and wisdom, consolation, health, peace of mind to continue bravely bearing your heavy crown — ah it is not an easy nor light cross He has placed upon yr. shoulders — would that I could help you carrying, in prayers & thoughts I ever do. I yearn to lessen yr. burden — so much you have had to suffer in those 20 years — & you were borne on the day of the longsuffering Job too, my poor Sweetheart. But God will help, I feel sure, but still much heartache, anxiety, & hard work have to be got through bravely, with resignation & trust in God's mercy, and unfathomable wisdom. Hard not to be able to give you a birthday tender kiss & blessing! — One gets at times so tired from suffering & anxiety & yearns for peace — oh when will it come I wonder! How many more months of bloodshed & misery? Sun comes after rain — & so our beloved country will see its golden days of prosperity after her earth is sodden with blood & tears — God is not unjust & I place all my trust in Him unwaveringly — but its such pain to see all the misery — to know not all work as they ought to, that petty personalities spoil often the the great cause for wh. they ought to work in unisson. Be firm, Lovy mine, show yr. own mind, let others feel you know what you wish. Remember you are the Emperor, & that others dare not take so much upon themselves — beginning by a mere detail, as the Nostitz story — he is in yr. suite & therefore N. has absolutely no right to give orders without asking your permission first.

If you did such a thing with one of his aide de camps without warning him, wld. he not set up a row & play the offended, etc. & without being sure, one cannot ruin a man's career like that. — Then, Deary, if a new Com. of the Nijegorodtzy is to be named, wont you propose Jagmin?

I meddle in things not concerning me — but its only a hint, — (& its your own regiment, so you can order whom you wish there).

See that the story of the Jews is carefully done, without unnecessary rows, not to provoke disturbances over the country. — Dont let one coax you into unnecessary nominations & rewards for the 6-th — many months are yet before us! — You cant fly off to Cholm to see Ivanov or stop on the way to see soldiers waiting to be sent to refill the regiments.

One longs that each of yr. journeys should not only be the joy for the Headquarters (without troops) — but for the soldiers, or wounded, more need strength from you & it does you good too. Do what you wish & not the Generals — yr. presence gives strength everywhere. —

Nicholas's telegram:

Telegram. Stavka. 5 May, 1915.

Have just arrived safely. Lovely weather. The woods are now quite green and smell delightful. Now I am off to church. Thanks for telegram. I embrace you tenderly.

Nicky.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Alexandra's letter to Toni Becker, dated February 6/18, 1895

Source:

Briefe der Zarin Alexandra von Russland an ihre Jugendfreundin Toni Becker-Bracht (2009), edited by Lotte Hoffmann-Kuhnt

The letter:

Den 6/18ten Feb./95.

Meine geliebte Toni,

Von ganzem Herzen sage ich Dir Dank für Deinen lieben Brief, den ich gerne früher beantwortet hätte. — Was Du mir erzählst, hat mich sehr aufgeregt — das hätte ich nie gedacht! Welche Fluth Gedanken bestürmen mich. Es ist schwer für mich Dir zu schildern was ich empfand. Ich kenne leider nicht den Mann Deiner Wahl — aber Deinem Herzen vertraue ich. Du hast Dir wohl alles reiflich überlegt, & das für & wieder bedacht. Liebt & schätzt man einen Mann, & glaubt man, ihm eine treue, liebe, helfende Lebensgefährtin werden zu können, so macht das Alter kein Bedenken. Nur musst Du Dir alles klar machen. Deine Stelle als junge Stiefmutter von erwachsenen Kindern, wenn sie ihren Vater lieben, werden sie Dir mit offenen Armen & Herzen entgegeneilen — eine theure Schwester kannst Du ihnen werden, aber ihre eigene Mutter werden sie nie vergessen, aber Dich doch lieben — das kann nicht anders sein. Du bist ja kein Kind mehr, hast schon manche schwere Seite des Lebens leider in jungen Jahren kennen lernen müssen, — daher werdet ihr schon zusammenpassen, & die Geschmäcke & Interessen theilen. Als verheirathete Frau hat man auch sein Schweres — aber an der Seite eines geliebten Mannes lässt sich alles mit Gottes Hülfe ertragen. Und das Leben gestaltet sich schön, für einen anderen zu wirken & leben, sein Leben mit ihm theilen, mit ihm trauern, & jubeln, — wenn er gedrückt ist, ihn erheitern. Ach, die Pflicht einer Frau ist schön, & Du wirst sie schön zu erfüllen wissen. Für ihn ist mir nicht bange. — Kümmere Dich nicht um das Geschwätz anderer — heirathe bald, das ist die Hauptsache & ziehe mit ihm fort um sein Heim wieder ein trautes werden zu lassen. Deine theure Mama wird sich für Dich freuen, Dich endlich geborgen & wohl aufgehoben zu wissen. —

Gott behüte Dich, meine heissen Gebete für Dein Glück möge Er erhören.

Lebewohl

Es drückt Dich an ihr Herz,

Deine treueste Alte

English translation (my own):

Feb. 6/18 /95.

My darling Toni,

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your lovely letter, which I would have liked to have answered sooner. — I was very upset by what you told me — I would never have thought of that! Such a tide of thoughts assails me. It is difficult to describe to you what I felt. Unfortunately I don't know the man of your choice — but I trust your heart. You have probably thought about everything carefully, & thought about it time & again. If one loves & appreciates a man, & if one thinks one can become a loyal, loving, helping partner for life, then age is not a concern. You only have to make everything clear to yourself. Your position as a young Stepmother of grown-up Children, if they love their Father, they will rush to you with open arms & hearts — you can become a dear Sister to them, but they will never forget their own Mother, but love you — it cannot be different. You are no longer a child, you have unfortunately had to get to know many a difficult side of life at a young age — so you will fit together and share tastes and interests. As a married woman one also has one's difficulties — but at the side of a beloved husband all can be endured with God's help. And life turns out beautifully, to work & live for another, to share one's life with him, to mourn with him, & to rejoice — when he is depressed, to cheer him up. Ah, a woman's duty is beautiful, & you will know how to fulfill it beautifully. I am not afraid for him. — Don't bother about other people's gossip — get married soon, that's the main thing & move away with him to make his home cozy again. Your dear Mama will be happy for you, knowing that you are finally safe and in good hands. —

May God keep you, may He hear my fervent prayers for your happiness.

Farewell

I press you to my heart

Your most faithful Alte

Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of TatianaZ on Flickr.

Note: On February 23, 1895, Toni became engaged to the landscape painter Eugen Bracht, who was 26 years her senior. He had been widowed since 1887 and had three children whose love Toni, although she was only 9 years older than the eldest daughter, actually easily won.

Alexander Alexandrovich Mossolov on Nicholas and Alexandra's relationship and how he would read aloud to her every evening

Source:

При дворе последного царя, by Alexander Alexandrovich Mossolov, 1935

https://www.litmir.me/br/?b=134902&p=21

At the Court of the Last Tsar, page 30, by Alexander Alexandrovich Mossolov, translated by E. W. Dickes, 1935

https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.188192/page/n33/mode/2up

The account:

Николай II не только любил жену: он был в нее положительно влюблен, даже с легким оттенком ревности к вещам, к занятиям и людям, отвлекающим ее внимание от него.

Во всяком браке, даже самом совершенном, один любит, другой позволяет себя любить. В царской чете государь был любящим всею силою души. Царица отвечала горячею нежностью, счастливая быть любимою человеком, которого она глубоко ценила.

Впрочем, именно Ее Величество скорее проявляла ревность ко всему, что могло отделять ее от мужа. Добросовестная, какою только может быть немка, она понимала, что государю нужно работать, и не только не мешала ему, а, напротив, скорее подталкивала мужа. Но все, что за работу не считала, например прием, разговор с посторонними людьми и т. п., недолюбливала как отнимающее у государя время, которое они могли проводить вдвоем. Она понимала одиночество утренних прогулок царя, во время которых тот обдумывал свой решения, лишь бы они не превышали времени, на них ассигнованного. Она не признавала отклонений, увлеченный какою-либо творческою мыслью, заставляющею думать вне законного времени.

Особенно соблюдались часы вечернего чтения. Трудно себе представить что-либо, что могло бы заставить государыню согласиться отказаться хотя бы на один вечер от этих чтений с глазу на глаз у камина.

Царь читал мастерски и на многих языках: по-русски, по-английски (на нем разговаривали и переписывались Их Величества), по-французски, по-датски и даже по-немецки (последний язык был государю менее известен). Заведующий собственную Его Величества библиотекою Щеглов представлял царю каждый месяц по крайней мере двадцать интересных книг, вышедших за этот период. В Царском Селе книги эти были разложены в комнате близ покоев императрицы. Меня как-то заинтересовал стол, где лежали уже выбранные Николаем II книги для чтения, но камердинер меня к ним не подступил.

— Его Величество склыдывает их в известном порядке и не любит, ежели не находит их точно в том виде, как он их сам разложил. ...

Среди этих книг государь избирал себе ту, которую читал супруге: обыкновенно историческое сочинение или русский бытовой роман.

Однажды царь сказал мне:

— Прямо боишься в Царском Селе войти в комнату, где эти книги разложены. Не знаешь, какую выбрать, чтобы взять с собою в кабинет. Смотришь — и час времени потерян. Только в Ливадии успеваю почитать, но и то половину взятых с собою книг приходится сдать неразрезанными.

И добавил с сожалением:

— Некоторые мемуары больше года, как не отдаю Щеглову: так уже хочется с ними познакомиться, да, видно, не придется.

Чтение вдвоем было главным удовольствием царской четы, искавшей духовной близости и семейного уюта.

English translation (by Dickes):

Nicholas II was much more than a loving and devoted husband. He was literally the lover of his life's partner. He was a lover, and could not hide a slight feeling of jealousy of the persons who made up his wife's entourage, of her occupations and the things that belonged to her.

In every union there is one side that loves and another that lets itself be loved. Of the Imperial couple, it was the Emperor who loved with his whole heart; the Empress responded with an affection that showed her happiness in being loved by one whom she cherished and esteemed.

But she herself showed jealousy of everything that deprived her of the company of her husband. She had all the characteristic German conscientiousness, and she understood how manifold were the Tsar's duties. Not only did she never prevent him from working, but she actively encouraged him in his devotion to his duties as head of the State. She readily recognized that Nicholas II needed the long solitary walks that he took in order to be able to ponder over his decisions. But she set rather narrow limits to what she regarded as 'work'.

Any talks with people unconnected with 'the Services', any receptions not absolutely necessary for reasons of State, were, in her eyes, simply and purely a waste of time. She did all she could to reduce to a minimum the occasions when the Tsar undertook such 'duties'. She made no allowance for any exceptional circumstances or any enthusiasm, no matter for what: everything had to be planned out in conformity with the established routine.

Then there were the sacrosanct hours of reading aloud in the evening. I find it difficult to imagine any affair of State of sufficient importance to induce the Empress to forgo a single one of these fireside evenings, tête-à-tête.

The Tsar was a master of the difficult art of reading aloud. He could read in Russian, English (the language in which their Majesties were accustomed to talk and write), French, Danish, and even German (the language with which he was least familiar). The head of his private library, Mr. Stcheglov, was expected to provide the Tsar with about twenty of the best books of the month. At Tsarskoe Selo these works were placed in a room opening out of His Majesty's private apartments. One day when I came into this room the Tsar's valet saw me approach the table on which the collection was laid out. He asked me not to touch the books. 'His Majesty,' he said, 'himself arranges these books in a particular order, and he has forbidden me once for all to disarrange them.'

It was from this collection that the Tsar chose the book of the evening for reading to the Empress. Usually his choice would fall on a Russian novel giving a general picture of one of the social classes in his Empire.

'I can assure you,' he said to me one day, 'that I am afraid to go into that room. I have so little time, and there are so many interesting books! Often half of the books have to go back to Stcheglov without even having had the pages cut.'

He added, almost apologetically:

'Sometimes an historical book or a book of memoirs has waited here for a whole year, I so much wanted to read it. But it has had to go in the end.'

These readings aloud were at all times the favourite leisure occupation of the Imperial couple, who looked forward to the quiet homely intimacy of their evenings.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.