Alix's letter to Toni Becker, dated April 11 and April 12, 1893

Source:

Briefe der Zarin Alexandra von Russland an ihre Jugendfreundin Toni Becker-Bracht (2009), edited by Lotte Hoffmann-Kuhnt

The letter (I have corrected a typo):

Darmstadt.

Den 11ten April/93

Meine liebe Toni,

Ich will heute anfangen Dir zu schreiben & schicke den Brief dann Morgen hinüber, damit Du ihn vor unserer Abreise bekommst. — Gretchen stirbt noch vor Aufregung — mir ist gar nicht so lustig zu Muth, denn Du weisst ja wie ungern ich von hier weggehe — wenn ich immer fort bin, gehts schon, aber der Abschied wird mir immer so schwer. — And then to think that I shall see the same place, where I was with my beloved Darling only three years ago, makes me feel low — how everything interested him — how well he could explain all. — As time goes on I miss him more & more & I feel now doubly strong what he was all to me. — Will you send me a line sometimes Hotel de la Ville Florenz with news from here? I shall write whenever I can. —

This afternoon I had a Children's Abschiedtea, what was amusing but exhausting. There is still such a lot to do, that one gets confused & ramolie, never knowing exactly what to take. — I must practice my singing still a bit, as my Master comes to-morrow, so for now Goodnight & sleep well & have pleasant dreams. —

Good morning. — Tausend Dank für die schönen Veilchen, die Du so lieb warst mir zu schicken — wenn sie bis heute Abend nicht zu welk sind, sollen sie mitreisen. — Um 11½ von hier ab. In Basel 6. Da hat man Zeit zum Frühstücken, um 3.15 an der Grenze, Zeit zum Mittagessen. Von 5.23-10.00 in Mailand, & um 6.10 in Florenz an. — Ich habe Dir wieder die Stunden genannt, da kannst Du mir in Gedanken folgen. —

Wie nett, die Verlobung von Walther. —

Wie ich Dir vorhin begegnete, kam ich von Prinz Emil's Garten zurück, ich hatte mir Blumen geholt um sie heute Nachmittag auf die Rosenhöhe zu bringen. —

Mit innigsten Küssen sagt Dir Lebewohl, Deine sehr treue Alte

God bless you! I am so glad I had a peep [on] your face this morning. —

Ich habe jetzt gleich Singstunde

English translation (my own; original English in italics):

Darmstadt.

11th April/93

My dear Toni,

I want to start writing to you today & shall send the letter over tomorrow so that you can get it before we leave. — Gretchen is dying of excitement — I don't feel so happy, because you know how reluctant I am to leave here — if I am always gone, it is alright, but saying goodbye is always so difficult for me. — And then to think that I shall see the same place, where I was with my beloved Darling only three years ago, makes me feel low — how everything interested him — how well he could explain all. — As time goes on I miss him more & more & I feel now doubly strong what he was all to me. — Will you send me a line sometimes Hotel de la Ville Florence with news from here? I shall write whenever I can. —

This afternoon I had a Children's Abschiedtea, what was amusing but exhausting. There is still such a lot to do, that one gets confused & ramolie, never knowing exactly what to take. — I must practice my singing still a bit, as my master comes to-morrow, so for now Goodnight & sleep well & have pleasant dreams. —

Good morning. — A thousand thanks for the beautiful violets that you were so dear to send to me — if they aren't too withered by tonight, let them go with you. — At 11½ from here. In Basel 6. Then one has time for breakfast, at 3.15 at the border, time for lunch. From 5.23-10.00 in Milan, & at 6.10 in Florence. — I have again given you the hours, so you can follow my thoughts. —

How nice, Walther's engagement. —

As I met you earlier, I came back from Prince Emil's Garden, I had fetched flowers to bring them to the Rosenhöhe this afternoon. —

With loving kisses I bid you farewell, your very faithful Alte

God bless you! I am so glad I had a peep [on] your face this morning. —

I have singing lessons right now

Above: Alix.