Showing posts with label Captivity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Captivity. Show all posts

Saturday, May 20, 2023

Pierre Gilliard on Alexandra taking care of affairs and her sick children during the Russian Revolution, the news of Nicholas's abdication, and the beginning of the family's captivity, February and March 1917 (New Style)

Sources:

Treize années à la cour de Russie: Le tragique destin de Nicolas II et de sa famille, pages 174 to 183, by Pierre Gilliard, 1921


Thirteen Years at the Russian Court, pages 209 to 217, by Pierre Gilliard, translated by F. Appelby Holt, 1921



Above: Nicholas and Alexandra, signed "Papa" and "Mama" as a gift for their children.


Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria, Anastasia and Alexei with their heads shaved bald while recovering from measles.


Above: Pierre Gilliard.

The account:

... Ce n'est qu'après de longues hésitations que l'empereur déjà inquiet s'était décidé, le 8 mars 1917, à quitter Tsarskoïé-Sélo pour se rendre au G. Q. G.

Son départ affecta tout particulièrement l'impératrice, car aux appréhensions que faisait naître la situation politique venaient s'ajouter les craintes que lui inspirait Alexis Nicolaïévitch. Le tsarévitch, en effet, était alité depuis plusieurs jours, ayant la rougeole, et diverses complications étaient venues aggraver son état. Pour comble de malheur, trois des grandes-duchesses étaient tombées malades à leur tour, et Marie Nicolaïévna était seule à pouvoir seconder sa mère.

Le 10 mars, nous apprenions que des troubles avaient éclaté à Pétrograd et que des collisions sanglantes s'étaient produites entre la police et les manifestants.

C'est que, depuis plusieurs jours, la rareté des vivres avait suscité un violent mécontentement dans les quartiers populaires. Des cortèges s'étaient formés et la foule avait parcouru les rues de la ville en réclamant du pain.

Je compris que Sa Majesté était très préoccupée, car, faisant exception à sa règle habituelle, elle me parla des événements politiques et me dit que Protopopof accusait les socialistes de chercher, par une propagande active auprès des cheminots, à empêcher le ravitaillement de la ville afin d'exciter le peuple à la révolution.

Le 11, la situation devenait subitement très critique et les nouvelles les plus alarmantes nous parvenaient coup sur coup. L'émeute gagnait le centre de la ville et la troupe qu'on avait fait intervenir depuis la veille résistait faiblement.

J'appris également qu'un ukase de l'empereur était venu ordonner la suspension de la Douma, mais que, vu la gravité des événements, l'assemblée avait passé outre à l'ordre de prorogation et décidé de procéder à la formation d'un Comité exécutif chargé de rétablir l'ordre.

Les combats reprenaient avec plus d'acharnement encore le lendemain, et les insurgés parvenaient à s'emparer de l'arsenal. Vers le soir on me téléphonait de Pétrograd que les éléments de réserve de plusieurs régiments de la garde: les régiments Paul, Préobrajensky, etc., avaient fait cause commune avec eux. Cette nouvelle frappa de stupeur l'impératrice. Depuis la veille, elle était extrêmement inquiète et se rendait compte de l'imminence du péril.

Pendant ces deux journées, elle avait passé tour à tour des chambres des grandes-duchesses à celle d'Alexis Nicolaïévitch, dont l'état de santé avait encore empiré, s'efforçant de cacher aux malades l'angoisse qui la torturait.

Le 13, à 9 h. ½ du matin, comme j'entre chez le tsarévitch, l'impératrice me fait signe de la suivre dans la salle à côté. Elle m'annonce que la capitale est, de fait, entre les mains des révolutionnaires et que la Douma vient de constituer un gouvernement provisoire à la tête duquel se trouve Rodzianko.

— La Douma s'est montrée à la hauteur des circonstances, me dit-elle. Elle a compris enfin, je crois, le danger qui menace le pays, mais je crains que ce ne soit trop tard: il s'est formé un comité socialiste-révolutionnaire qui ne veut pas reconnaître l'autorité du gouvernement provisoire. Je viens de recevoir de l'empereur un télégramme m'annonçant son arrivée pour 6 heures du matin. Mais il désire que nous quittions Tsarskoïé-Sélo pour Gatchina ou que nous nous portions à sa rencontre. Faites donc tout préparer pour le départ éventuel d'Alexis.

Les ordres sont donnés. Sa Majesté passe par de terribles hésitations. Elle a fait savoir à Rodzianko la gravité de l'état du tsarévitch et des grandes-duchesses. Il répond: «Quand une maison brûle, on commence par en emmener les malades.»

A quatre heures, le docteur Dérévenko rentre de l'hôpital et nous annonce que tout le réseau de chemin de fer des environs de Pétrograd est déjà occupé par les révolutionnaires, que nous ne pouvons pas partir et qu'il est peu probable que l'empereur puisse arriver.

Le soir, vers neuf heures, la baronne de Buxhœveden entre chez moi. Elle vient d'apprendre que la garnison de Tsarskoïé-Sélo s'est mutinée et que l'on tire dans la rue. Il faut avertir l'impératrice qui est auprès des grandes-duchesses. Précisément, elle sort dans le couloir et la baronne la met au courant de la situation. Nous nous approchons des fenêtres. Nous voyons le général Reissine qui, à la tête de deux compagnies du régiment combiné, prend position devant le palais. J'aperçois également des marins de l'équipage de la garde et des cosaques de l'escorte. Les grilles du parc ont été occupées par des postes renforcés, les hommes sur quatre rangs, prêts à tirer.

A ce moment nous apprenons par téléphone que les mutins s'avancent dans notre direction et qu'ils viennent de tuer un factionnaire à moins de 500 mètres du palais. Les coups de fusil se sont de plus en plus rapprochés, une collision semble inévitable. L'impératrice, affolée à l'idée que le sang va être répandu sous ses yeux, sort avec Marie Nicolaïévna et s'approche des soldats pour les exhorter au calme. Elle supplie qu'on parlemente avec les insurgés. Le moment est solennel. L'angoisse étreint tous les cœurs. Une imprudence, et c'est le corps à corps suivi de carnage. Cependant, des officiers s'interposent des deux côtés et l'on se met à discuter. Les paroles de leurs anciens chefs et l'attitude résolue de ceux qui sont restés fidèles en imposent aux mutins.

L'excitation tombe peu à peu et l'on finit par déterminer une zone neutre entre les deux camps.

La nuit se passe ainsi et, le matin, des ordres formels du gouvernement provisoire viennent mettre fin à cette situation angoissante.

Dans l'après-midi Sa Majesté fait appeler le grand-duc Paul et lui demande s'il sait où est l'empereur. Le grand-duc l'ignore. Aux questions que l'impératrice lui pose sur la situation, il répond que, seul, l'octroi immédiat d'une constitution peut encore, à son avis, conjurer le danger. L'impératrice se range à cette opinion, mais elle est impuissante, car, depuis la veille, elle ne peut plus communiquer avec l'empereur.

La journée du 15 se passe dans l'attente oppressée des événements. Dans la nuit, à 3 h. ½, le docteur Botkine est appelé au téléphone par un des membres du gouvernement provisoire qui lui demande des nouvelles d'Alexis Nicolaïévitch. (Le bruit de sa mort s'était répandu en ville, comme nous l'apprenons plus tard.)

Le supplice de l'impératrice continue le lendemain. C'est le troisième jour qu'elle est sans nouvelles de l'empereur et son angoisse s'augmente du fait de son inaction forcée. (Les tortures de l'impératrice en ces jours de mortelle angoisse où, sans nouvelles de l'empereur, elle se désespérait au chevet de son enfant malade, dépassèrent tout ce qu'on peut imaginer. Elle avait atteint la limite extrême de la résistance humaine, c'était la dernière épreuve d'où allait se dégager cette merveilleuse, cette lumineuse sérénité qui devait la soutenir, elle et les siens, jusqu'au jour de leur mort.)

A la fin de l'après-midi, la nouvelle de l'abdication de l'empereur parvient au palais. L'impératrice la repousse comme un bruit mensonger. Mais un peu plus tard le grand-duc Paul vient la lui confirmer. Elle se refuse encore à y croire et c'est seulement sur les précisions qu'il lui donne que Sa Majesté se rend enfin à l'évidence. L'empereur a abdiqué la veille au soir à Pskof en faveur de son frère, le grand-duc Michel.

Le désespoir de l'impératrice dépasse tout ce qu'on peut imaginer. Mais son grand courage ne l'abandonne pas. Je la revois, le soir, chez Alexis Nicolaïévitch. Son visage est ravagé, mais, par une force de volonté presque surhumaine, elle a tenu à venir comme d'habitude auprès des enfants, afin que rien ne trouble les jeunes malades qui ignorent tout ce qui s'est passé depuis le départ de l'empereur pour le G. Q. G.

Tard dans la nuit, nous apprenons que le grand-duc Michel s'est désisté et que c'est l'Assemblée constituante qui devra décider du sort de la Russie.

Je retrouve le lendemain l'impératrice chez Alexis Nicolaïévitch. Elle est calme, mais très pâle. Elle a effroyablement maigri et vieilli en ces quelques jours.

L'après-midi, Sa Majesté reçoit un télégramme de l'empereur où il cherche à la tranquiliser et lui annonce qu'il attend à Mohilef l'arrivée prochaine de l'impératrice douairière.

Trois jours passent. Le 21, à 10 h. ½ du matin, Sa Majesté me fait appeler et me dit que le général Kornilof est venu lui faire savoir, de la part du gouvernement provisoire, que l'empereur et elle sont mis en état d'arrestation, et que tous ceux qui ne veulent pas accepter le régime de la prison doivent avoir quitté le palais avant quatre heures. Je réponds que je suis décidé à rester.

— L'empereur rentre demain, il faut avertir Alexis, il faut tout lui dire... Voulez-vous le faire? Moi je vais aller parler aux petites.

On voit combien elle souffre à l'idée de l'émotion qu'elle va causer aux grandes-duchesses, malades, en leur annonçant l'abdication de leur père, émotion qui risque d'aggraver leur état.

Je rentre chez Alexis Nicolaïévitch et je lui dis que l'empereur va revenir le lendemain de Mohilef et qu'il n'y retournera plus.

— Pourquoi?

— Parce que votre papa ne veut plus être commandant en chef.

Cette nouvelle l'affecte vivement, car il aimait beaucoup à aller au G. Q. G.

Au bout d'un certain temps, j'ajoute:

— Vous savez, Alexis Nicolaïévitch, votre père ne veut plus être empereur.

Il me regarde, étonné, cherchant à lire sur ma figure ce qui se passe.

— Comment? Pourquoi?

— Parce qu'il est très fatigué et qu'il a eu de grandes difficultés ces derniers temps.

— Ah! oui! Maman m'a dit qu'on avait arrêté son train quand il voulait venir ici. Mais papa sera de nouveau empereur après?

Je lui explique alors que l'empereur a abdiqué en faveur du grand-duc Michel, lequel s'est désisté à son tour.

— Mais alors, qui est-ce qui sera empereur?

— Je ne sais pas, maintenant personne...

Pas un mot sur lui, pas une allusion à ses droits d'héritier. Il est très rouge et ému.

Au bout de quelques minutes de silence, il me dit:

— Mais alors, s'il n'y a plus d'empereur, qui est-ce qui va gouverner la Russie?

Je lui explique qu'il s'est formé un gouvernement provisoire qui devra s'occuper des affaires de l'État jusqu'à la réunion de l'Assemblée constituante et qu'alors, peut-être, son oncle Michel montera sur le trône.

Une fois de plus, je suis frappé de la modestie de cet enfant.

A quatre heures, la porte du palais se ferme. Nous sommes prisonniers! Le régiment combiné a été relevé par un régiment de la garnison de Tsarskoïé-Selo, et les soldats qui sont en faction ne sont plus là pour nous protéger, mais pour nous garder.

Le 22, à onze heures du matin, l'empereur arrive enfin, accompagné du Prince Dolgorouky, maréchal de la cour. Il monte immédiatement chez les enfants où l'impératrice l'attend.

Après le déjeuner, il entre dans la chambre d'Alexis Nicolaïévitch, où je me trouve à ce moment, et m'aborde avec sa simplicité et sa bienveillance habituelles. Mais, à voir son visage pâli et amaigri, on comprend combien il a effroyablement souffert, lui aussi, pendant son absence.

Le retour de l'empereur fut, malgré les circonstances, un jour de grand bonheur pour les siens. L'impératrice et Marie Nicolaïévna, aussi bien que les enfants malades, lorsqu'ils avaient été mis au courant de la situation, avaient éprouvé à son sujet tant de crainte et d'anxiété! C'était pour eux une grande consolation de se trouver tous réunis alors qu'ils étaient si durement éprouvés. Il leur semblait que leur douleur en était allégée et que l'immense amour qu'ils avaient les uns pour les autres était une force capable de leur faire supporter toutes les souffrances.

Malgré le maîtrise de soi qui lui était habituelle, l'empereur n'arrivait pas à cacher son profond ébranlement, mais il se remettait rapidement au milieu de l'affection des siens. Il leur consacrait la majeure partie de ses journées et, le reste du temps, il lisait ou se promenait avec le prince Dolgorouky. On lui avait interdit, au début, l'accès du parc et on ne lui avait laissé que la jouissance d'un petit jardin attenant au palais, encore couvert de neige et entouré d'un cordon de sentinelles. Mais l'empereur acceptait toutes ces rigueurs avec une sérénité et une grandeur d'âme remarquables. Jamais un mot de reproche ne sortit de ses lèvres. C'est qu'un sentiment dominait son être, plus puissant même que les liens qui l'attachaient aux siens: l'amour de son pays. On sentait qu'il était prêt à tout pardonner à ceux qui lui infligeaient ces humiliations, s'ils étaient capables de sauver la Russie.

L'impératrice passait presque tout son temps étendue sur une chaise longue dans la chambre des grandes-duchesses et chez Alexis Nicolaïévitch. Les émotions et les angoisses l'avaient épuisée physiquement, mais, depuis le retour de l'empereur, un grand apaisement moral s'était fait en elle et elle vivait d'une vie intérieure très intense, parlant peu, cédant enfin à ce besoin impérieux de repos qui la sollicitait depuis longtemps. Elle était heureuse de ne plus avoir à lutter, et de pouvoir se consacrer tout entière à ceux qu'elle aimait d'un si grand amour. Seule Marie Nicolaïévna lui donnait encore de l'inquiétude. Elle était tombée malade beaucoup plus tard que ses sœurs et son état s'était aggravé par suite d'une pneumonie de nature fort pernicieuse; son organisme, quelque très robuste, avait de la peine à reprendre le dessus. Elle était, d'ailleurs, victime de sa propre générosité. Cette jeune fille de dix-sept ans s'était dépensée sans compter pendant les journées révolutionnaires. Elle avait été le plus ferme soutien de sa mère. Dans la nuit du 13 mars, elle avait commis l'imprudence de sortir avec l'impératrice pour aller parler aux soldats, s'exposant ainsi au froid, alors qu'elle ressentait les premières atteintes de la maladie. Par bonheur, les autres enfants allaient mieux et se trouvaient déjà en pleine période de convalescence. ...

English translation (by Holt):

... It was only after long hesitation that the Czar, in his anxiety, had decided on March 8th, 1917, to leave Tsarskoïe-Sélo and go to G. H. Q.

His departure was a great blow to the Czarina, for to the fears aroused in her breast by the politics situation had been added her anxiety about Alexis Nicolaïevitch. The Czarevitch had been in bed with measles for several days, and his condition had been aggravated by various complications. To crown everything, three of the Grand-Duchesses had also been taken ill, and there was no one but Marie Nicolaïevna to help the mother.

On March 10th we learned that trouble had broken out in Petrograd and that bloody collisions had taken place between police and demonstrators.

The fact was that for several days the shortage of food had produced feelings of bitter discontent in the poorer quarters of the city. There had been processions, and mobs had appeared in the streets demanding bread.

I realised that Her Majesty had a good deal on her mind, for, contrary to her usual habit, she spoke freely about political events, and told me that Protopopoff had accused the Socialists of conducting an active propaganda among railway employees with a view to preventing the provisioning of the city, and thus precipitating a revolution.

On the 11th the situation suddenly became very critical and the most alarming news arrived without warning. The mob made its way into the centre of the town, and the troops, who had been called in the previous evening, were offering but slight resistance.

I heard also that an Imperial ukase had ordered the sittings of the Duma to be suspended, but that, in view of the grave events in progress, the Assembly had disregarded the decree for its prorogation and decided to form an executive committee charged with the duty of restoring order.

The fighting was renewed with greater violence the next morning, and the insurgents managed to secure possession of the arsenal. Towards the evening I was told on the telephone from Petrograd that reserve elements of several regiments — had made common cause with them. This piece of news absolutely appalled the Czarina. She had been extremely anxious since the previous evening, and realised that the peril was imminent.

She had spent these two days between the rooms of the Grand-Duchesses and that of Alexis Nicolaïevitch, who had taken a turn for the worse, but she always did her utmost to conceal her torturing anxiety from the invalids.

At half-past ten on the morning of the 13th the Czarina beckoned me to step into an adjoining room just as I was entering the Czarevitch's bedroom. She told me that the capital was actually in the hands of the revolutionaries and that the Duma had just set up a Provisional Government with Rodzianko at its head.

"The Duma has shown itself equal to the occasion", she said. "I think it has realised the danger which is threatening the country, but I'm afraid it is too late. A Revolutionary-Socialist Committee has been formed which will not recognise the authority of the Provisional Government. I have just received a telegram from the Czar saying that he will be here at six in the morning, but he wants us to leave Tsarskoïe-Selo for Gatchina, or else go to meet him. Please make all arrangements for Alexis's departure."

The necessary orders were given. Her Majesty was a prey to terrible doubt and hesitation. She informed Rodzianko of the serious condition of the Czarevitch and the Grand-Duchesses, but he replied: "When a house is burning the invalids are the first to be taken out."

At four o'clock Dr. Derevenko came back from the hospital and told us that the whole network of railways round Petrograd was already in the hands of the revolutionaries, so that we could not leave, and it was highly improbable that the Czar would be able to reach us.

About nine in the evening Baroness Buxhœveden entered my room. She had just heard that the garrison of Tsarskoïe-Selo had mutinied and that there was firing in the streets. She was going to tell the Czarina, who was with the Grand-Duchesses. As a matter of fact, she came into the corridor at that moment and the Baroness told her how things stood. We went to the windows. We saw General Reissine, who had taken up position outside the palace at the head of two companies of the composite regiment. I also saw some marines of the bodyguard and cossacks of the escort. The park gates had been occupied in special strength, the men being drawn up in four ranks, ready to fire.

At that moment we heard on the telephone that the rebels were coming in our direction and had just killed a sentry less than five hundred yards from the palace. The sound of firing came steadily nearer and a fight seemed inevitable. The Czarina was horrorstruck at the idea that blood might be shed under her very eyes; she went out with Marie Nicolaïevna and exhorted the men to keep cool. She begged them to parley with the rebels. It was a terrible moment, and our hearts almost stopped beating with suspense. A single mistake and there would have been a hand-to-hand fight followed by bloodshed. However, the officers stepped in and a parley began. The rebels were impressed by the words of their old leaders and the resolute attitude of the troops which remained faithful.

The excitement gradually subsided and a neutral zone was fixed between the two camps.

Thus was the night passed, and in the morning formal orders from the Provisional Government arrived which put an end to the dreadful situation.

In the afternoon Her Majesty sent for the Grand Duke Paul and asked him if he knew where the Czar was. The Grand Duke did not know. When the Czarina questioned him about the situation he replied that in his opinion the grant of a constitution at once could alone avert the peril. The Czarina shared that view, but could do nothing, as she had been unable to communicate with the Czar since the previous evening.

The day of the 15th passed in an oppressive suspense. At 3.30 a.m. next morning Dr. Botkin was called to the telephone by a member of the Provisional Government, who asked him for news of Alexis Nicolaïevitch. (We heard subsequently that a report of his death had been circulating in the city.)

The Czarina's ordeal was continued the next day. It was three days since she had had any news of the Czar and her forced inaction made her anguish all the more poignant. (No one can have any idea of what the Czarina suffered during these days when she was despairing at her son's bedside and had no news of the Czar. She reached the extreme limits of human resistance in this last trial, in which originated that wonderful and radiant serenity which was to sustain her and her family to the day of their death.)

Towards the end of the afternoon the news of the Czar's abdication reached the palace. The Czarina refused to believe it, asserting it was a canard. But soon afterwards the Grand Duke Paul arrived to confirm it. She still refused to believe it, and it was only after hearing all the details he gave her that Her Majesty yielded to the evidence. The Czar had abdicated at Pskoff the previous evening in favour of his brother, the Grand Duke Michael.

The Czarina's despair almost defied imagination, but her great courage did not desert her. I saw her in Alexis Nicolaïevitch's room that same evening. Her face was terrible to see, but, with a strength of will which was almost superhuman, she had forced herself to come to the children's rooms as usual so that the young invalids, who knew nothing of what had happened since the Czar had left for G. H. Q., should suspect nothing.

Late at night we heard that the Grand Duke Michael had renounced the throne, and that the fate of Russia was to be settled by the Constituent Assembly.

Next morning I found the Czarina in Alexis Nicolaïevitch's room. She was calm, but very pale. She looked very much thinner and ever so much older in the last few days.

In the afternoon Her Majesty received a telegram from the Czar in which he tried to calm her fears, and told her that he was at Mohileff pending the imminent arrival of the Dowager Empress.

Three days passed. At half-past ten on the morning of the 21st Her Majesty summoned me and told me that General Korniloff had been sent by the Provisional Government to inform her that the Czar and herself were under arrest and that all those who did not wish to be kept in close confinement must leave the palace before four o'clock. I replied that I had decided to stay with them.

"The Czar is coming back to-morrow. Alexis must be told everything. Will you do it? I am going to tell the girls myself."

It was easy to see how she suffered when she thought of the grief of the Grand-Duchesses on hearing that their father had abdicated. They were ill, and the news might make them worse.

I went to Alexis Nicolaïevitch and told him that the Czar would be returning from Mohileff next morning and would never go back there again.

"Why?"

"Your father does not want to be Commander-in-Chief any more."

He was greatly moved at this, as he was very fond of going to G. H. Q.

After a moment or two I added:

"You know, your father does not want to be Czar any more, Alexis Nicolaïévitch."

He looked at me in astonishment, trying to read in my face what had happened.

"What! Why?"

"He is very tired and has had a lot of trouble lately."

"Oh yes! Mother told me they stopped his train when he wanted to come here. But won't papa be Czar again afterwards?"

I then told him that the Czar had abdicated in favour of the Grand Duke Michael, who had also renounced the throne.

"But who's going to be Czar, then?"

"I don't know. Perhaps nobody now. ..."

There was a silence, and then he said:

"But if there isn't a Czar, who's going to govern Russia?"

I explained that a Provisional Government had been formed and that it would govern the state until the Constituent Assembly met, when his uncle Michael would perhaps mount the throne.

One again I was struck by the modesty of the boy.

At four o'clock the doors of the palace were closed. We were prisoners! The composite regiment had been relieved by a regiment from the garrison of Tsarskoïe-Selo, and the soldiers on sentry duty were there not to protect us, but to keep guard over us.

At eleven o'clock on the morning of the 22nd the Czar arrived, accompanied by Prince Dolgorouky, the Marshal of the Court. He went straight up to the children's room, where the Czarina was waiting for him.

After luncheon he went into the room of Alexis Nicolaïevitch, where I was, and greeted me with his usual unaffected kindness. But I could tell by his pale, worn face that he too had suffered terribly during his absence.

Yet, despite the circumstances, the Czar's return was a day of rejoicing to his family. The Czarina and Marie Nicolaïevna, as well as the other children, when they had been told what had occured, had been a prey to such dreadful doubts and fears on his account! It was a great comfort to be all together in such times of trial. It seemed as if it made their troubles less unbearable, and as if their boundless love for each other was a dynamic force which enabled them to face any degree of suffering.

In spite of the self-control which was habitual with the Czar, he was unable to conceal his immense distress, though his soon recovered in the bosom of his family. He spent most of the day with them, and otherwise read or went for walks with Prince Dolgorouky. At first he had been forbidden to go into the park, and was only allowed the enjoyment of a small garden contiguous to the palace. It was still under snow. A cordon of sentries was posted around it.

Yet the Czar accepted all these restraints with extraordinary serenity and moral grandeur. No word of reproach ever passed his lips. The fact was that his whole being was dominated by one passion, which was more powerful even than the bonds between himself and his family — love of country. We felt he was ready to forgive anything to those who were inflicting such humiliations upon him so long as they were capable of saving Russia.

The Czarina spent almost all her time on a chaise longue in the Grand-Duchesses' room, or else with Alexis Nicolaïevitch. Her anxieties and the emotional strain had exhausted her physically, but since the Czar's return she had found great moral relief, and lived closely with her own thoughts, speaking little and finally yielding to that urgent need for rest which had long assailed her. She was glad she need struggle no longer and that she could wholly devote herself to those she loved so tenderly.

She was now anxious about Marie Nicolaïevna only. The latter had been taken ill much later than her sisters, and her condition was aggravated by a severe attack of pneumonia of a virulent kind. Her constitution was excellent, but she had all she could do to survive. She was also the victim of her own devotion. This girl of seventeen had spent herself without reflection during the revolution. She had been her mother's greatest comfort and stand-by. During the night of March 13th she had been rash enough to go out with her mother to speak to the soldiers, thus exposing herself to the cold, even though she realised that her illness was beginning. Fortunately the other children were better, and already on the road to convalescence. ...

Tuesday, March 1, 2022

Transcript of Commissar Yakovlev's conversation with Nicholas and Alexandra on their being taken from Tobolsk, April 12/25, 1918

Source:

Документы по истории убийства царской семьи (Documents on the history of the murder of the Imperial Family), ГАРФ (State Archives of the Russian Federation)



Alexandra's diary entry on that night:




The conversation:

БЕСЕДА КОМИССАРА ЯКОВЛЕВА С НИКОЛАЕМ И АЛЕКСАНДРОЙ ПО ПОВОДУ ОТЪЕЗДА ИЗ ТОБОЛЬСКА.

25 апреля 1918.

ЯКОВЛЕВ: Я, согласно предписания Совнаркома, должен вас предупредить, что завтра, рано утром вы обязаны поехать со мной.

НИКОЛАЙ: Я?! КУДА? НЕ ПОЕДУ!

ЯКОВЛЕВ: Сведения о назначении месте остановки и получу в пути.

Мне приказано перевести всю семью, но учитывая положение здоровья Алексея и весеннего распутицы, необходимость немедленного отъезда распространяется на вас одного.

НИКОЛАЙ: Нет. Не поеду...

ЯКОВЛЕВ: Приготовьтесь к отъезду.

АЛИСА: Я вижу, что за последнее время меня с Николаем Александровичем хотят разлучить... Я не отстану и еду вместе.

ЯКОВЛЕВ: Изъявляет согласие. ...

English translation (my own):

COMMISSIONER YAKOVLEV'S CONVERSATION WITH NICHOLAS AND ALEXANDRA ON DEPARTURE FROM TOBOLSK.

April 25, 1918.

YAKOVLEV: I, in accordance with the instructions of the Council of People's Commissars, must warn you that tomorrow, early in the morning, you are obliged to go with me.

NICHOLAS: Me?! Where? I'm not going!

YAKOVLEV: I will get information about the destination of the stopping place on the way.

I have been ordered to transfer the whole family, but given Alexei's state of health and the spring thaw, the need for immediate departure applies to you alone.

NICHOLAS: No. I'm not going...

YAKOVLEV: Get ready to leave.

ALIX: I see that recently they want to separate me from Nicholas Alexandrovich ... I will not leave him behind, we will go together.

YAKOVLEV: Agreed.


Above: Nicholas and Alexandra in their last known photo together.

Saturday, January 1, 2022

Excerpt from Alexandra's letter to Sophie Buxhoeveden, dated New Year's Eve 1917

Source:

The Life and Tragedy of Alexandra Feodorovna (1928), by Baroness Sophie Buxhoeveden

The letter excerpt:

Thank God, we are still in Russia and all together.


Above: Alexandra.


Above: Sophie Buxhoeveden.

Saturday, December 25, 2021

Alexandra's diary entries for Christmas 1917, her last Christmas...

Source:

George Hawkins at Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook


The diary entries:

December 24 Sunday
Xmas Eve
Arranged presents.

12. Service in the house. Lunched downstairs. Dressed the trees, placed the presents. 4½ tea, then went to the guard 14th rifle regiment Malyshev 20 men. I brought them a small Xmas tree and eatables and a gospel each with a bookmark that I painted — sat there. 7½ dinner downstairs with all, Kolya too. One has forbidden Isa to come to us, or leave her house. 9 Xmas tree for the suite, all our people. 9½ Evening service, a large choir sang. Soldiers came too.

...

December 25 Monday
Xmas Day
Got up at 6¼. 7¼ Went to Church. After mass, moleben before the miraculous icon of the Abalatskaya Mother of God. Painted and rested. 12 lunched downstairs. Saw Isa at the window. Sat for 10 m. on the balkony whilst N cleared the snow away. 4½ tea, Kolya too. The others had their repetition, I looked on then rested. 8 Dined downstairs, Kolya too. N read to us.


Above: Alexandra.

Alexandra's letter to Sophie Buxhoeveden, dated Christmas 1917

Sources:


The Life and Tragedy of Alexandra Feodorovna (1928), by Baroness Sophie Buxhoeveden

The letter:

Со Святым Рождеством тебя, дорогая Иза! Нежно целую тебя и желаю всего самого лучшего. Пусть Господь пошлет тебе хорошее здоровье и душевный мир, который является величайшим даром для нас, смертных. Мы должны молить Бога и о терпении, ведь оно так необходимо нам в этом мире страдания (и величайшего безумия), — об утешении, силе и счастье. Возможно, слова «радостное Рождество» звучат сейчас как насмешка, но ведь эта радость относится к рождению нашего Господа, Который умер, чтобы спасти всех нас, — и разве же не способно это восстановить нашу веру в безграничную милость Господа? Он надо всем, и Он во всем: Он проявит Свою милость, когда выпадет срок, а до этого мы должны терпеливо ждать. ...

English translation (from source 2):

A blessed Xmas to you, Iza dearest! And a loving wish and kiss. Above all, I wish God to give you good health, peace of mind, "doushevny mir", which is the greatest gift. We can ask for patience, which we all need in this world of suffering (and utter madness), consolation, strength and happiness. A "joyful Xmas" might sound like mockery, but it means joy over the New-born King, who died to save us all, and does that not renew one's trust and faith in God's infinite mercy? He is so far above all, is All in all: He will show mercy, when the right time comes, and we must patiently and resignedly await His good will. We are helpless to mend matters — can only trust, trust and pray and never lose faith or one's love to Him. Prayed for you, and shall again at mass — too hard you cannot go. I so hoped by a side door to another church. The Emperor and all the children send many a message and good wish. They share my regret. God bless you. Won't you look out of your window and tell Nastinka [Countess Hendrikoff] when? At one, let's say, and then we can peep at the corner window, and perhaps catch a glimpse of you. Just off to church! God bless and protect you. A loving kiss from your affectionate A. A happy Xmas to Miss Mather.


Above: Alexandra.


Above: Sophie Buxhoeveden.

Note: "doushevny mir" (душевный мир) = "peace of soul".

Friday, December 24, 2021

Alexandra's letter to Sophie Buxhoeveden, dated Christmas Eve 1917

Source:

The Life and Tragedy of Alexandra Feodorovna (1928), by Baroness Sophie Buxhoeveden

The letter:

Xmas Eve.
Good morning, dear Isa, — I hope you slept well and don't feel too beaten and exhausted to-day. I send you this image with my blessing, from the Saint of Tobolsk — John Maximovich — Metropolitan of Tobolsk. His relics lie in the cathedral on the hill (alas! we have not yet been there). Hang it up, and may he be your Guard and Guide. May you soon get strong, well, and fed up again here. We have service at 12, wonder whether you may come to it, as the guard will just have changed and it would be nice to begin your entry by prayers.
A loving kiss, Darling, fr.
A.


Above: Alexandra.


Above: Sophie Buxhoeveden.

Monday, May 17, 2021

Two of Alexandra's diary entries, dated July 3, 1917 and July 4, 1917

Source:

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook


The diary entries:

July 3 Monday
Irina's 22 BD
12-1 Maria — Proverbs of Solomon 27-end

2¼ - 5 in the garden.

5¼ - 6 Alexei Mark XIV 16-17

Last Supper, Washing of the feet, establishment of Holy Communion "love one another" (John XIII 23-35) Do not let your hearts be troubled (John XIV 1-31) I am the true vine (John XV XVI XVII) The Garden of Gethsemane — the prayer of Jesus Christ Matt XXVI Luke XXII 41-44 Matt XXVI 40-49 Luke XXII 48-50 The taking of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ before Caiaphas. Peter denies the Lord.

All four girls have had their hair quite shaved off, as it falls out in masses since their measles.

N read to us as usual.

...

July 4 Tuesday
10-11 Alexei: King Ethelred the unready. The Danes drove away the English princes to Normandy & Hungary and made Canute King. Canute rebuked his courtiers & improved the people — reigned 19 years (sons: Hardicanute, Harold Harefoot — Danes & Saxons made slaves of their poor & prisoners. King Edward the Confessor suffered his courtiers to rule him & the kingdom & promised that the Duke of Normandy shld be King. Some of his wise men made a book of laws. Harold the son of Earl of Godwin was made king. He was killed in the battle of Hastings 1066 & the D of N became King William the Conqueror 1066-1087. King Willm I made oppressive laws, took the land fr the English & gave it to the Norman barons' he caused Doomsday Book to be written — New forest made Curfew bell.

2¼ - 4¾ in the garden.

Al[exei] had his hair also completely shaved off.

N read aloud.


Above: Alexandra.


Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria, Anastasia and Alexei with their heads shaved.

Friday, May 14, 2021

Two of Alexandra's diary entries from Tobolsk, dated August 18, 1917 and August 19, 1917

Source:

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook


The diary entries:

Tobolsk
August 18 Friday
Baby slept very well, + got up after luncheon wh. we had together. We went into the garden. 27 in the sun. Domino in the evening.

Pita turned up, walked + sat with Nastinka — then the people fr. the Justice came by Kerensky’s order. The things she brought us were looked through, all Nastinka's things too, the latter not to go walking in the streets for some days, not to see Rita again. Isa's operation (appendix) went off well at the Kaufer[ovsky] Obshchina

...

Tobolsk
August 19 Saturday
Luncheon alone. Spent afternoon in N's room + others in garden. 28 in the sun. Dined with Alexei in N's room. Domino with N., O., and T. 

They sent off Rita by boat again, I believe to Moscou — have not given us the images + goodies + jacket she brought us. The letters we luckily got yesterday morning.


Above: Alexandra with Olga and Tatiana.

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

Alexandra's letter to Xenia, dated March 3, 1918

Source:

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=256856172725437&id=108838347527221

The letter:

3 March 1918
My darling little Chicken,
I kiss you firmly, and am with you in thought at your Mountain because of the misfortune which has befallen your Irina. May God help her. She herself is still such a child — what a trial to go through. Her little one will be her consolation. But I am sure that now you are suffering more, knowing your kind, gentle heart, which always grieves especially with suffering ones. God grant that you can be together and that she will return to you — it will be easier for her and for you. How much grief there is all around. And poor Vera and her Mother. Wherever you look, tears, tears. But I firmly believe that the time of suffering and trials is passing, that the sun will again shine over the long-suffering Motherland. After all, the Lord is merciful — he will save the Motherland, He will enlighten the foggy mind — he is not angry to the end. People have forgotten God — a year when the kingdom of evil rules everything — endure and believe a little more — when it seems to be the end of everything, then He will surely hear all the prayers. Suffering and trials were sent to Him — and does He not always give enough strength to endure anything? After all, He Himself showed us how to endure without murmuring and to suffer in innocence. My dear, I don't know how to write and say everything that I want — but you understand your old sister even without that. — Such joy when we receive letters from you — today from both you and Olga. What happiness that this little Tikhon came into the world. — How I would like to see her with him. Ours are healthy, out in the fresh air a lot — they described to you how we live. The days pass quickly — monotonously — everyone is busy, this is the only way we can live.

We shall also be singing during the service from now on (I don't know how it will come out). The children, Nagorny (who will also be a Reader — he read in Ts. as a boy), myself and the choir director. It is very sad not to be able to be at church — without the Liturgy. We want to fast for the 1st week. — we do not know whether it will be allowed. I have heard nothing from my own people for over a year. How is poor Motherdear? I kiss her very gently, as well as you and Olga. Christ be with you
Loving you tenderly,
Your Hen

We all think about how you live. It must be terribly difficult. We also had to part with 10 of our people. The soldiers found a long time ago that we have too many people in our house. — Now I am a real householder. Mr. G. I had to take everything into my own hands in order to finally establish order. Ilya especially helps — Valya, a bit less, Volkov as (illegible) 13 people. We have breakfast at 8:20. — it is terribly painful when you are unable to repay all the favours — people are so touching. — Kiss your poor Irina from us. — We all kiss everyone.


Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.


Above: Xenia.

Friday, January 8, 2021

Alexandra's copied out poems and message for Nicholas, year 1918

Source:

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook


The poems and message:

"Like an angel of the sky serene,
In the glow of a quiet fire,
You prayed with a tender soul
For yourself, and for me.
You are words of love from me
Spiritual doubt withdraws
And the heart with silent wings
Your prayers of autumn"
Fet.

"My friend, I thank the Creator for all things
In all things, know His holy will
He gave you your earthly share,
He created us, He put in our hearts
A thirst for good, and a light of hopes,
And the heat of blessed joy,
And a polyphonic string of suffering.
He is good, — and from Him, every gift is good.
Thank always — for everything — for joy —
If the joy of His goodness is given
And for sadness. For in sorrow, we can see —
though in a dark robe, —  goodness too!"
Alexandrov.

Wishing my very own beloved precious one every blessing + good health, peace of mind, strength, courage, energy + resignation, recompense, great happiness & good luck for 1918 with 1000 fond kisses fr. old Wify. Tobolsk.


Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Friday, December 25, 2020

Alexandra's Nativity prayer for Charles Sydney Gibbes, year 1917

Source:

https://orthodoxlife.org/prayers-and-services/christmas-prayer-empress-alexandra/

Alexandra wrote this Nativity prayer for her children's English tutor Charles Sydney Gibbes during captivity at Tobolsk at Christmas 1917 — the last Christmas she would ever see.

The prayer:

I pray
That Christ the Xmas King may stoop to bless,
And guide you day by day to holiness,
Your Friend in joy, your Comfort in distress;

I pray
That every cloud may lead you to the light,
And He may raise you up from height to height,
Himself the Day-Star of your darkest night;

I pray
That Christ, before whose Crib you bend the knee,
May fill your longing soul abundantly,
With grace to follow Him more perfectly.

1917
Tobolsk

Alexandra


Above: Alexandra.


Above: Charles Sydney Gibbes.

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Alexandra's letter to M. M. Syroboyarskaya, dated May 29, 1917

Source:

http://www.alexanderpalace.org/palace/alexandraexile.html

The letter:

29-го мая 17 г. (Царское Село)
Милая моя, сердечное Вам спасибо за длинное письмо от 22-го, которое вчера получили. Все глубоко Меня трогает — Ваша любовь и вера. Спасибо, что Меня не забываете. Ваши письма для Меня большая радость. Как Господь милостив, что дал нам познакомиться, теперь особенно ценна такая дружба. Имею известия от сына, не был здоров, простудился, лежал, но теперь, слава Богу, ему лучше. Бывал у общих знакомых, скоро будет у Вас. Поздравляю Вас с его новым чином, наконец получил, год спустя. Все получаешь в свое время. Но теперь ему надо хорошее здоровье. Я утешала, что мы в переписке, он будет этому рад. Не бойтесь, что он веру потеряет, Бог услышит ваши молитвы и тех других, которых он стал верным другом. Тучи черные, гроза, туман покрывают будущее, это бывает трудно без ропота выносить. Но и это пройдет. Солнце опять заблестит, а там впереди яркое солнце, там все будет нам ясно, там награда за все тяжелые переживания. Земная школа суровая, и впереди экзамен нас ждет, надо к этому каждому готовиться, трудные сложные уроки изучить. Все и везде и во всем борьба, но внутри должна быть тишина и мир, тогда все переносить можно и почувствуешь Его близость. Не надо вспоминать огорчения — их столько, а принять их, как полезное испытание для души, а если начнешь роптать, то теряешь почву под ногами и становишься таким мелким, самолюбивым. Есть самолюбие, которое надо иметь, но есть и другое, которое надо топтать под ногами — это ложное. Что это я Вам все это говорю, Вы лучше меня знаете. Но надо во всем хорошее и полезное искать. Ведь в нашу пользу Он нас укоряет или попускает беды для испытания и укрепления души. Зло великое в нашем мире царствует теперь, но Господь выше этого, надо только терпеливо вынести тяжелое и не позволить худому брать верх в наших душах. Пускай зло помучает, потревожит, но душу ему не отдадим. Верим, глубоко верим, что награда там будет и, может быть, еще здесь... Видеть, знать о страданиях дорогих сердцу людей — вот это мука великая, и ее перенести спокойно ужасно трудно. Передаешь их мысленно в Его милосердные руки и знаешь, что души их не погибнут. Растут они, как цветы открываются, если умеют верить и молиться. Сам Спаситель перед глазами. Они с Ним крест несут... Боже, помоги им, умилосердствуй, спаси, тешь их. Сердце ноет, помочь нельзя... Вы спрашиваете. Не утомляют ли меня уроки. Нет, милая. Хотя голова иногда побаливает, когда подряд три урока Закона Божия, но это ничего, так рада с Детьми заниматься. И это Мне помогает. Потом бывает чтение и диктовка на других языках, но время оттого летит. До 12 лежу, и они около постели занимаются, а потом в классной или у Алексея. Вы хотели знать, как сплю — последнее время опять плохо, но это все равно. Когда жарко, то сердце шалит по-прежнему. Опять лежу в саду, или на кресле Меня катают. Это лучше. Иногда цветы собираю, но сгибаться для сердца нехорошо и больно. Но пока не могу жаловаться.

Нежно Вас целую, родная, перекрещаю. Господь с Вами. Молитвенно и мысленно с Вами.
Сестра.

English translation (my own):

29th May, 1917 (Tsarskoe Selo)
My dear, sincere thanks to You for the long letter of the 22nd, which we received yesterday. Everything deeply touches me — Your love and faith. Thank You for not forgetting me. Your letters are a great joy to me. As the Lord is merciful that He let us meet, now such friendship is especially valuable. I have news of Your son, he was not healthy, caught a cold, was lying down, but now, thank God, he is better. Visited mutual acquaintances, will soon be with You. I congratulate You on his new rank, I finally received it, a year later. You shall receive everything in due time. But now he needs good health. I consoled that we were in correspondence, he would be happy about that. Do not be afraid that he will lose faith, God will hear Your prayers and those of others with whom he has become a faithful friend. Black clouds, thunderstorm, fog cover the future, it can be difficult to endure without a murmur. But this too shall pass. The sun will shine again, and there is a bright sun ahead, everything will be clear to us, there is a reward for all difficult experiences. The earthly school is harsh, and a test awaits us ahead, all must prepare for this, learn difficult, difficult lessons. Everything and everywhere and in everything is a struggle, but there must be quiet and peace inside, then one can endure everything and one will feel His closeness. There is no need to remember grievances — there are so many of them, but to accept them as a useful test for the soul, and if one begins to grumble, one loses the ground under one's feet and becomes so petty, proud. There is pride that one must have, but there is another one that must be trampled underfoot — this is false. That I am telling You all this, You know better than me. But we must look for good and useful things in everything. Indeed, in our favour, He reproaches us or allows troubles to test and strengthen the soul. Great evil reigns in our world now, but the Lord is higher than this, we must only patiently endure the heavy and not allow the bad to prevail in our souls. Let evil torment, disturb, but we will not give up our soul. We believe, deeply believe that the reward will be there [in Heaven], and perhaps even here... To see, to know about the suffering of people dear to our hearts — this is a great torment, and it is terribly difficult to bear it calmly. One transfers them mentally into His merciful hands and one knows that their souls will not perish. They grow like flowers, if they know how to believe and pray. The Saviour Himself is before our eyes. They bear the Cross with Him... God help them, have mercy, save them, comfort them. My heart aches, one cannot help... You ask if the lessons tire me. No, darling. Although my head sometimes aches when there are three lessons of the Law of God in a row, but this is nothing, I am so glad to study with the Children. And it helps me. Then there is reading and dictation in other languages, but that is why time flies. Until 12 I lie, and they study by the bed, and then in the classroom or with Alexei. You wanted to know how I sleep — lately it has been bad again, but it's all the same. When it is hot, the heart is still bad. Again I lie in the garden, or they roll me on an armchair. This is better. Sometimes I pick flowers, but bending for the heart is not good and painful. But I cannot complain yet.

I kiss You tenderly, dear, I [make the] cross [over You]. The Lord is with You. Am with You in prayers and thoughts.
Sister.


Above: Alexandra.

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Alexandra's Easter letter to Dr. Vladimir Derevenko, dated April 19/May 2, 1918

Source:

http://www.tzar-nikolai.orthodoxy.ru/n2/pism/8.htm

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/108838347527221/photos/a.108851520859237/175728657504856/?type=3&__tn__=-R

The letter:

19 апр./2 мая. 1918 г. Екатеринбург.
Христос Воскресе!
Мы все сердечно поздравляем Вас и всю Вашу семью со светлым праздником. Надеемся, что Колобов к Вам приходил. Уже 4 дня ничего о всех не знаем — очень тяжело. Можно ли уже наступить [на] ноги. Как силы, аппетит, самочувствие. Лежит ли на балконе? Все хочется знать. Не знаем куда переедем, но вероятно близко. Погода чудная. Очень устала, сердце увеличено. Живем ничего, скучаем. Храни Бог. +.

English translation:

19 Apr/2 May 1918, Ekaterinburg
Christ is Risen!
We congratulate you and all your family with the bright festival. We hope Kolobov went to you. It is already 4 days that we have heard nothing from anyone — it is so hard. Is he already able to get up on his feet? How is his strength, appetite, health? Does he lie down on the balcony? I want to know everything. We don't know where we will be moved, but it will probably be somewhere close-by. The weather is wonderful. I am very tired and my heart enlarged. We are living alright, we miss everyone. God save you. +


Above: Alexandra with Nicholas in their final known photo together, year 1918, just months before their deaths.


Above: Dr. Vladimir Derevenko.

Thursday, July 23, 2020

Description of Alexandra's character from the memoirs of Tatiana Botkina

Source:

Memories of the Imperial Family before and after the Revolution, by Tatiana Melnik-Botkina, 1921

http://emalkrest.narod.ru/txt/botkina.htm

The description:

Теперь об Ее Величестве. Я утверждаю, что не было ни одной более русской женщины, чем была Ее Величество, и это с особенной яркостью высказывалось во время революции. Глубоко православная, Она никогда и не была немкой иначе как по рождению. Воспитание, полученное Ее Величеством, было чисто английского характера, и все бывшие при Дворе знали, как мало общего у Ее Величества с Ее немецкими родственниками, которых Она очень редко видела, из которых некоторых, как, например, дядю - Императора Вильгельма - прямо не любила, считая его фальшивым человеком. Не будь Ее Величество такая русская душой, разве смогла бы Она внушить такую горячую любовь ко всему русскому, какую Она вложила в своих августейших детей.

После революции особенно сказалось отношение Ее Величества ко всему русскому. Пожелай Она, намекни Она одним словом, и Император Вильгельм обеспечил бы Им мирное и тихое существование на родине Ее Величества, но, уже будучи в заключении в холодном Тобольске и терпя всякие ограничения и неудобства, Ее Величество говорила:

- Я лучше буду поломойкой, но я буду в России.

Это - доподлинные слова Ее Величества, сказанные моему отцу. Я думаю, что этого не скажет ни одна русская женщина, так как ни одна из них не обладает той горячей любовью и верой в русского человека, какими была проникнута Государыня Императрица, несмотря на то, что от нас, русских, Она ничего не видала, кроме насмешек и оскорблений. Нет тех кар, которыми русский народ может искупить свой великий, несмываемый грех перед Царской Семьей, и, переживая теперь все нескончаемые несчастья нашей родины, я могу сказать, что продолжайся они еще 10, 20, 30 лет, это будет вполне заслуженное нами наказание.

English translation (my own):

Now about Her Majesty. I affirm that there was not a single more Russian woman than Her Majesty was, and this was expressed with particular vividness during the revolution. Deeply Orthodox, she was never German except by birth. The upbringing received by Her Majesty was of a purely English character, and all those who were at the Court knew how little Her Majesty had in common with Her German relatives, whom she very rarely saw, some of whom, such as, for example, her uncle - Emperor Wilhelm - were not directly loved, considering him a false person. If Her Majesty had not been such a Russian soul, she would not have been able to instill such an ardent love for everything Russian that she put into her august children.

After the revolution, Her Majesty's attitude towards everything Russian was especially pronounced. Had she wished, she hinted it in one word, and Emperor Wilhelm would have ensured them a peaceful and quiet existence in Her Majesty's homeland, but, already being imprisoned in cold Tobolsk and enduring all sorts of restrictions and inconveniences, Her Majesty said:

"I would rather be a charwoman, but I will be in Russia."

These are the true words of Her Majesty to my father. I think that not a single Russian woman will say this, since not one of them possesses that ardent love and faith in a Russian person that the Empress was imbued with, despite the fact that she did not see anything from us Russians except ridicule and insults. There are no punishments with which the Russian people can atone for their great, indelible sin before the Imperial Family, and, now experiencing all the endless misfortunes of our homeland, I can say that if they continue for another 10, 20, 30 years, this will be a well-deserved punishment for us.


Above: Alexandra.

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

A few pages from Alexandra's notebook of spiritual quotes and poems, year 1917

Source:

http://romanovy.rusarchives.ru/nikolay-ii/tetrad-imperatricy-aleksandry-fedorovny-s-zapisyami-stihov-i-pesen





Two of the poems:

Если жизнь тебя обманет,
Не печалься, не сердись!
В день уныния смирись:
День веселья, верь, настанет.
Сердце в будущем живет;
Настоящее уныло:
Все мгновенно, все пройдет;
Что пройдет, то будет мило.

Не говори, что нет спасенья,
Что ты в печалях изнемог:
Чем ночь темней, тем ярче звезды,
Чем глубже скорбь, тем ближе Бог...

English translations (my own):

If life disappoints you
Do not be sad, do not be angry!
On the day of gloom, humble yourself:
Believe, the day of joy will come.
The heart lives in the future;
The sad present:
Everything is momentary, everything will pass;
What will pass will be sweet.

Do not say that there is no salvation,
That are you exhausted in sorrows:
The darker the night, the brighter the stars
The deeper the sorrow, the closer to God...


Above: Alexandra.

Saturday, April 25, 2020

Alexandra's diary entry of April 12/25, 1918

Source:

mashkaromanova on Tumblr

https://mashkaromanova.tumblr.com/post/616355681809907712/baby-had-a-better-night-36-900-1000


The entry:

Baby had a better night 36°.
9:00-10:00 Anastasia: Isaiah 38-42.
Sat with Baby. Played cards & worked.
12:15-1:00 Maria: J. Sirach 18-26.
After luncheon the Com. Yakovlev came as I wanted to arrange about the walk to Church for Passion Week. Instead of that he announced by the order of his government (Bolsheviks) that he has to take us all away (to where?) Seeing as Baby is too ill wished to take Nicholas alone (if not willing then obliged to use force) I had to decide to stay with ill Baby or accompany him. Settled to accompany him as can be of more need & too risky not knowing where & for what. (we imagine Moscow) Horrible suffering. Marie comes with us, Olga will look after Baby, Tatiana the household & Anastasia will cheer all up. Take Valia, Niuta, Yevgeny Sergeevich offered to go. Chemodurov & Sednyov.
10:30. Took meals with Baby, put few things together, quite small luggage. Took leave of all our people. After evening tea with all. Sat all night with the Children. Baby slept & at 3 went to him til we left. Started at 4:30 in the morning. Horrid to leave precious children. 3 of our rifles went with us.


Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.


Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria, Anastasia and Alexei.

Friday, April 17, 2020

Alexandra's prayer, written January 11, 1918

Source:

http://208.106.192.45/royal/prayerfromempress.html

This prayer was found written on a postcard that Alexandra sent to Alexander Syroboiarsky, dated January 11, 1918. She likely wrote this prayer to comfort herself and her family in the hopes of gaining the strength to pray for and forgive their enemies. The prayer was written because the family's guards during their house arrest in Tobolsk began to be very insulting and disrespectful toward the family, who sought strength and comfort in their deep, strong religious faith.

The prayer:

O Lord, send us patience
During these dark, tumultuous days
To stand the people's persecution
And the tortures of our executioners.

Give us strength, O God so righteous
To forgive our neighbor's wickedness
And to greet the bloody, heavy cross
With Your meekness.

In these days of mutinous unrest
When our enemies rob us,
Christ the Savior, help us
Bear insult and disgrace.

Lord of the world, God of the universe,
Bless us with prayer
And grant peace to the humble soul
In this unbearable and fearful hour.

And at the threshold of the grave
Breathe a power that is beyond man
Into the lips of Your slaves
To pray meekly for their enemies.


Above: Alexandra.

Monday, February 24, 2020

Richmond news article slandering Alexandra, year 1918

TRIGGER WARNING: VIOLENCE AND DEATH.

Source:

Richmond Times-Dispatch, published November 20, 1918

https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045389/1918-11-10/ed-1/seq-37/#date1=1789&index=7&rows=20&words=Czarina&searchType=basic&sequence=0&state=&date2=1963&proxtext=Czarina&y=0&x=0&dateFilterType=yearRange&page=1

This article was published in the Richmond Times-Dispatch newspaper on November 10, 1918, blaming Alexandra for betrayal via secretly communicating intelligence information to her cousin and Russia's enemy Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, for the fall of the Romanov dynasty and ultimately the deaths of Nicholas and Alexei, as well as on reporting news on what happened to Nicholas's body and the way Alexei died that we now of course know is fabricated, gets the ages of Maria and Anastasia not only mixed up but further wrong, and other such fabrications, half-truths and exaggerations. But at that time, it was only made public that Nicholas and Alexei had been assassinated, which was the official news released then, and the rumour spread around the world that Alexandra and her daughters were probably still alive and their whereabouts unknown — when in reality they had been killed with Nicholas and Alexei in the pre-dawn hours of July 17, 1918, almost four months before this article was published.


The article:

The Terrible Retribution which has Punished the Czarina

How Her Plotting with Her Cousin, the Kaiser, Betrayed Russia, Dethroned Her Husband, Led to His Murder and the Cruel Death of Her Idolized Son -- Her Own and Her Daughters' Fate a Mystery

UTTER mystery surrounded the fate of the widowed Czarina of Russia and her four pretty young daughters up to four weeks ago, but vague reports from chaotic Russia created a strong impression that they had all been killed.

Concerning the little Czarevitch, the Czarina's only son, the reports left little doubt that he had perished. In a country where the executioners are killing daily until they drop from exhaustion at their work of slaughter, there can be little hope for members of the former ruling class who are caught in the whirlpool of anarchy.

While the fate of the delicately nurtured Czarina and her family must fill us with horror, it is still more amazing and shocking to learn that the unfortunate woman by her treachery brought about the entire tragedy of Russia.

Evidence had long shown that there was constant communication between the Russian court and the German military command. Our knowledge of this subject has just taken a long step forward. Commissioner Henry W. Mapp, of the Salvation Army, a responsible American who had been sent to Russia to relieve distress, came back with positive information that the Czarina herself had sent direct communication by her private wire from Tsarskoe Selo to the German Kaiser giving information that the British War Minister, Lord Kitchener, had sailed for Russia. Kitchener's mission was to provide for better co-operation between the Russian and Allied armies and to check the disorganization of the Russian armies which had already begun.

Kitchener sailed for Russia on the cruiser Hampshire in April, 1917, and the ship was torpedoed by the Germans off the north of Scotland and lost with everybody on board. This tragedy was directly traceable to the information supplied by the Czarina.

The latest evidence indicates that the Czarina constantly furnished to the Kaiser intelligence concerning Russian military movements. She was a cousin of the Kaiser, the sister of a reigning German sovereign, the Grand Duke of Hesse, a German princess herself by birth, training and instinct. Like the Queen of Greece and other royalties, she was a devoted and unreasoning adherent of the Kaiser.

Right well did she work for her imperial master. Through her treachery she brought about the ruin of her adopted country, the defeat of its armies and the demoralization of its entire political structure, previously weakened by terrible losses and sufferings.

Her treachery, according to this view, was the main factor that caused not only the collapse of the empire, but the death of her husband and her son, and, it appears probable, of herself and all her daughters.

Never perhaps in all history has there been a more perfect case of retribution for treachery.

The last days of the Czarina and her family would surely make a drama of unsurpassed terror. Lost in the wilds of the most desolate part of Russia, at the mercy of half-crazed Bolsheviki politicians, Red Guards and unwashed peasants, the condition of this family of delicately bred women defies description. The wretched Czarina, once the wife of the most absolute monarch in the world, the possessor of jewels valued at $100,000,000, had not even the power to communicate with her relatives and friends.

So great was the uncertainty about the Czarina's fate that His Holiness the Pope sent an inquiry about a month ago to the Austrian Ambassador at Petrograd, asking if he could find out what had happened to her and her daughters. The Austrians having nominally made peace with the Bolsheviki, it was supposed that they could obtain some information from them. The Ambassador answered His Holiness that their death had been reported and denied, and that no reliable information could be obtained.

The Pope then sent an ecclesiastic of high rank to Russia with instructions to find out definitely what happened to them and to remove them to a place of safety, if possible. As the place where the family were last heard from, Ekaterinburg, is nearly a thousand miles from Petrograd, and as railway travel is almost at an end, no one can say when the envoy will complete his mission.

One of the latest and most circumstantial reports declared that the Czarina and her four daughters had been murdered at a village near Ekaterinburg. A former court servant returned to Petrograd, who declared that he had seen certain details of the tragedy.

According to this man, there had arisen a violent quarrel in the local Soviet as to what should be done with the Czarina and her daughters. The six most bloodthirsty members of the Soviet, a butcher, an innkeeper and four peasants, then went to the house in which the poor women were imprisoned and shot them all.

After this the murderers burned down the house with all the bodies. The servant who brought this news declared that he had seen the charred bodies and some fragments of jewelry the princess had worn.

Russia now groans under a condition of anarchy in which local councils called "Soviets" exercise tyrannous power in their vicinity, while the central bodies at Moscow and Petrograd have little or no authority.

After the circumstantial report about the murder had been received, Lenine, the Bolshevist Prime Minister, announced that he had received a denial of it from Ekaterinburg and that the women were safe.

When the execution of ex-Czar Nicholas was decided on, his wife and children were separated from him in order that pity for them should not lead to any action that might save the fallen monarch. The whole family up to that time had been imprisoned at Tobolsk in Siberia. They were then taken to Ekaterinburg in European Russia, but while the ex-Czar was imprisoned in the town, the rest of the family were taken outside.

The Czar's execution has been reported in many ways from various sources. One report stated that he had faced the firing squad with bravery and steadiness, while another described him as collapsing in terror. The reports generally agreed that his last thoughts had been for his family and that his last words were:
"Have mercy on my wife and children!"

After the Czar's execution his body underwent a strange series of experiences, which suggest his own treatment of the fanatic Rasputin's remains. It will be recalled that the Czar recovered Rasputin's body from the Neva and buried it at midnight in a silver coffin with solemn ceremonies in the grounds of his palace at Tsarskoe Selo, from which it was dug up and carted away to Siberia by the revolutionists.

The Bolsheviki deliberately planned to treat Nicholas's body with the greatest possible indignity. They buried it in the "Suicides' Corner" of the local cemetery. In the eyes of the old-fashioned Russian peasants a suicide is the most hopeless of lost souls, worse even than a murderer, and the spot where such creatures are buried is passed with shuddering and loathing.

The body had not lain here many weeks, however, when a force of the Czecho-Slovak army, the released Austro-Hungarian soldiers who support the Allies, passed this way. They considered that the monarch who had supported the cause they believe in deserved better treatment. They therefore unearthed his body and buried it in consecrated ground with simple religious services.

But the body was not yet to rest. The "People's Army" consisting of Cossacks, obtained possession of the grave, and, being imbued with the old, deep, religious sentiment of Russia, they thought that the Soviet's treatment of the Czar's body was wicked and would bring divine anger on the country. They therefore exhumed the body again with much ceremony and prepared to give it solemn burial according to the rites of the Russian Orthodox Church.

It was enclosed in a zinc coffin with an outer case of Siberian cedar and placed in the Cathedral at Ekaterinburg under a guard composed of commanders of the People's Army. After that the body was carried away to be buried in a special sarcophagus at Omsk.

These details concerning the two burials were furnished by the newspaper Izvestia of Moscow.

Only scraps of information and rumors can be obtained concerning what happened to the Czarina and her children between their removal from Tobolsk and their reported reappearance at Ekaterinburg. This information has come through Russian Bolsheviki and peasants notorious for their untruthfulness and wild imaginations.

The circumstantial report has it that the Red Guards deliberately kept the delicate little Czarewitch out in a public square at Perm day and night for three days without food or shelter. At the end of this time the poor child died of pneumonia brought on by cold and starvation.

The child, whose birth Russia and the rest of the world awaited with anxiety for ten years, is now supposed to be in an unknown grave. Everybody will recall how the Czar and Czarina of Russia longed and prayed for the birth of a son for years. Four daughters in succession were born to the couple, and the Czarina nearly lost her mind through disappointment at her failure to bear the desired heir.

When, at last, in 1904, the little Czarevitch Alexis came, the Imperial couple were transported with joy. The entire thoughts of Russia's ruler were concentrated on this child. As he began to grow he received increased devotion from the Czar. The entire world was ransacked to gratify his wishes. From the strongly guarded precincts of the Russian Court came many reports of attempts by revolutionists on the boy's life. It was very positively stated that one attack had resulted in injury to his leg.

On public occasions after that the Czarevitch was observed to have a permanently stiffened right leg. Though of delicate health, he was a handsome and attractive boy.

How the late Czar spoiled his child is shown by an incident related by Dr. E.L. Dillon, the well-known English writer on Balkan affairs. Not long before the Czar's downfall a special British envoy, General Sir Arthur Paget, was sent to Petrograd to discuss closer cooperation between British and Russians. While he was talking with the Czar, the young Czarevitch got hold of the General's cap and placed it on the head of a female statue. When the Czar saw this he laughed so heartily that the conference was seriously interrupted.

Now, this spoiled heir of the world's greatest autocracy may have been put to death by a band of unwashed ruffians in an obscure village.

It was assumed that the report of the Czarevitch's death must be correct, because no mention was made of him when the rest of the Romanoff family reappeared at Ekaterinburg.

The four daughters of the Czarina were the Grand Duchess Olga, aged twenty-three; Grand Duchess Tatiana, aged twenty-one; Grand Duchess Anastasia, aged nineteen, and Grand Duchess Marie, aged fourteen. Their photographs prove that they were very handsome young girls and all accounts agree that they were charming and sweet.

After the Czar's downfall and a brief period of imprisonment in the palace at Tsarskoe Selo, they were removed to Tobolsk in Siberia. The whole family was forced to occupy the upper floor of a humble house that had belonged to a local tax collector. Revolutionary guards occupied the ground floor.

At first the fallen imperial family was treated with leniency, although subject to considerable privations. They had only one servant and the Czarina was obliged to do much of her own cooking. The deposed monarch and his wife were not allowed to go out except to church, and Nicholas tried to maintain his health by carrying pails of water upstairs. The little Czarevitch was only permitted to go into the public park for a few hours a day under an armed guard.

The young Grand Duchesses, however, were allowed considerable liberty at this stage. They mingled freely with the townspeople and travelled about the country. All signs of rank were discarded in their social relations and the young women were known simply as the Misses Romanoff. The Grand Duchess Olga learnt stenography and typewriting and fitted herself to earn her living in business. The second daughter, Grand Duchess Tatiana, began to train as a nurse. All the girls, in fact, were learning to live in a normal way under a democratic system.

The quarters in the private house were so cramped that the imperial family was removed after three months to the monastery of Tobolsk.

That was before the Russian revolution began to turn toward Bolshevism and terrorism. The anti-Bolshevist sentiments of the Siberians settled the fate of the fallen imperial family. They were removed from Tobolsk hastily by the Red Guards lest the Siberians or Czecho-Slovaks should reach them and liberate them. Then began the terrible journey toward European Russia in which Czar Nicholas lost his life, while the fate of the women was left in uncertainty.