Alix's letter to Nicholas, written May 12 (New Style), 1894

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 41 to 42, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter:

No 12

Windsor Castle

May 12th 1894

Моя милый, дорогой Ники,

Many a tender kiss, very fondest thanks for yr dear and touching letter the servant this minute brought me, моя душка, I always feel quite another creature after having heard from you and everything seems nicer then. Granny was also so happy with yr letter yesterday and is so glad you write such good English — you must not mind if my spelling is sometimes impossible, but suddenly it happens that I can scarcely write a word properly. What pretty vases you sent me again this time. I am glad you like mine. How nice being received by all the soldiers, their telegram, the officers', touched me deeply. Of course I love to hear about yr regiment as I am so fond of soldiers, I always was, and now yours will be especially interesting to me. Tell me all you have got to do, I would like to know, if it does not bore you.

Next week we are going to a parade at Aldershot under Uncle Arthur's command — I am most anxious to see an English parade, as hitherto I have never had the occasion of seeing one.

This morning we rode and it was charming, I rested afterwards and had my wee doggie lying next to me in bed, it is so frightened still, but I hope it will get accustomed to me. Toria's books have come and I have begun to read in them about yr Religion. Oh, sweety [page ripped] were but here, instead of [page ripped] so far away. But your letters are a comfort and I am always so greedy for them, read them over and over again — you write so well, my own precious Sweety — and I am sure you must often be tired when you come home from your exercising, so it is especially touching of you to write to the old girl.

The sun is shining warmly but there is a great wind and we were nearly blown off our steeds this morning. The Park looked too lovely, oh, how I long to have you cantering by my side "Lord, for to-morrow and its needs I do not pray, Keep me, my God, from stain of sin, just for to-day. Let me both diligently work and duly pray; Let me be kind in word and deed, just for to-day. Let me be slow to do my will, prompt to obey; Help me to sacrifice myself just for to-day. Let me no wrong or idle word unthinking say; set thou a seal upon my lips, just for to-day."

"A faithful friend is a strong defence, and he that has found a real one, hath found a treasure. Nothing doth countervail a faithful friend, and his excellency is unvaluable." Oh, my Nicky sweet, what an unending treasure I have found in your love, could I but also fully make you understand the strength of mine, I cannot write any more now, but I shall begin a letter to-night again. God bless you. A good kiss. Ever yr own truly loving little

Alix

Above: Nicholas and Alix.

Notes: "Моя милый, дорогой Ники" = "My sweet, dear Nicky".

"моя душка" = "my darling".

Alix's letter to Nicholas, dated May 5 (New Style), 1894

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 17 to 19, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter:

No. 4 Windsor Castle

May 5th 1894

My own sweet Nicky dear,

Thanks for your dear message in Granny's telegram, we were breakfasting to-gether when it came. Then Gretchen and I went down to Frogmore, picked primroses and sat baking in the sun. She has to climb to get at them now, as my Boysy is alas not here. I had to think so much of the Rosenau and how I made poor you pick the whole time. I fear you must sometime have wished me to Jericho. Then Granny came and we went to the Mausoleum and placed wreathes there. It is so pretty and lies so lovely, you will, I am sure, there are lots of charming pattes and benches. Really it is too bad, the whole day people have been fidgeting, so that I could not finish this letter, and then I had to try on stupid, uninteresting clothes, 2 new blouses I have bought and 2 hats. "Schlumpers" are coming still.

Well, Georgie and May have been here and he sends you his very best love — you are his oldest and best friend. They were very nice, but I wanted you and your big eyes. I have just got a grand telegram: "Les Cosaque d'Orenburg réunis à l'occasion de leur fête patronale de St George's présent votre Altesse de vouloir bien agréer leurs vœux et hommages les plus respectueux inspirés par le dévouement sans bornes qu'ils portent à votre august fiancé les prières de tous sont unanimes pour le bonheur de vo Altesse Impériale. Ataman der Cosaques d'Orenburg General Major Ersehoss." I shall ask someone to help answering it properly as you know alas how weak my French is.

I drove with Granny and A. Beatrice in the Park and had tea in a cottage manor hill. The woods are too lovely and the roads and grass so inviting for a canter. We must ride when you come. My legs have been so bad all day that I have sent for Dr Reid — it will never do for you to have a lame wife. Wife — how funny that sounds! I cannot yet realize that the old owl is to be yours. If only she were worthy enough for you and could be a real help and comfort. But she will do all in her power for her own sweet Pelly whom she adores more than words can express. I hear an old barrelorgan down in the town, it makes me think of my childhood — how long ago that seems now, so much has happened, such never to be forgotten sorrows, and now this joy! Oh sweet one, thanks for your love which I value, oh, so highly. I have to think of days ago — do you remember our evening — I see you still in your white uniform waiting to go to Church, and then I was alone, but my prayers and thoughts followed you. To-morrow in Church our thoughts will meet and our prayers join. I must also go to evening service — it is so beautiful and does one such good — the lovely singing, fine Chapel, oh, could you but be at my side. And Ernie, how he loved it and he has a wife and is at home and happy — I am in a horrid mood to-night, I feel low and depressed and scarcely know how to keep back my tears — it is that dreadful barrelorgan I believe and the solitary lamp wh make me so foolish, but it will never do, my letter will be too idiotic otherwise. Ach, and I want to write to the Weeping Willow for his Birthday and then I must dress for dinner.

Of course, Georgie said I must not keep you all the time, but must let you come to London as he saw so little of you at his wedding wh I understand. I understand anyone wanting you.

Well, what have you been able to arrange for Xenia and Sandro? Give them my best love and say how much I am thinking of them. I forget, did I write out these lines for you already or not?

"Pray for all those who love thee,

All who are loved by thee,

Pray for those who hate thee,

If any such there be.

Then for thyself a blessing

In meekness humbly claim

And link with each petition

Thy great Redeemer's name."

"Love is the one thing on earth we never lose. It is like a cool river growing broader and deeper as it flows towards the sea, which makes all fields greener where it passes, the sweet flowers bloom. It flowed through Paradise long ago and they called it the River of Life." Yes, truly, love is the greatest blessing on earth and he to be pitied who knows it not. But I must rush, Victoria and Ludwig are arriving. Farewell beloved Boy, my own, own true Darling, the sweetest Boy that ever was.

God bless you now and evermore. Many tender kisses from yr ever deeply loving old Spitzbub owl and frog.

Аликсъ

Above: Nicholas and Alix.

Alix's Easter poems for Nicholas, dated April 29, 1894

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 324 to 326, by George Hawkins, 2023

The poems:

Easter, April 29th 1894
Palais Edinburg, Coburg
Pray for all those you love thee
All who are loved by thee
Pray too for those who hate thee
If any such there be.
The for thyself a blessing
In meekness humbly claim
And back with each petition
Thy Great Redeemer's Name
—
I want a heart not heeding
What others think or say,
I want a humble spirit
To listen and obey
To serve Thee without ceasing
'Tis but a little while,
My strength, the Master's promise
My joy, the Master's smile.
Oh! Jesus Christ my Master
I come to Thee to-day,
I ask Thee to direct me,
In all I do or say.
I want to keep my promise
To be Thy servant true
I come to Thee for orders
Dear Lord, what shall I do?
—
Hush my dear, lie still and slumber
Holy angels guard thy bed!
Heavenly blessings without number
Gently falling on thy head.
—
I dreamt that I was happy
A soft voice whispered near
And bid me raise my drooping head
And nothing more to fear
I dreamt that through this dreary world
The more the wanderer roved
I dreamt the bliss too deep for earth!
I dreamt that I was loved
Bright faces smiled upon me
Sof[t] music floated around
And all was hope and love and joy
On that unbaunted ground
One smiled upon me lovingly,
My eyes to him were raised
And in that depth of light I read
His secret as I gazed.
—
Let them love now who never loved before
Let them who always loved now love the more.
To my own darling Nicky, with every possible good wish and blessing for Easter April 29th 1894, Coburg
Fr yr deeply loving old Alix

Above: Nicholas and Alix.

Excerpt from Alix's letter to Nicholas, dated July 27 and 28 (New Style), 1894

Sources:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 177 to 179, by George Hawkins, 2023

George Hawkins at Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=pfbid0z4RmBk123HpoWH8Huk3eV5igajamKaMbaWNJESMLtuvgzKq96RnXR7dJCBhfNAnHl&id=100067001081671

The letter excerpt:

Thora is on deck being swung by Dr Woods on a little swing they hang up on purpose for her. The Island looks lovely to-day. How I miss you is not to be described, how mad we were that day and when you lay smoking on Granny's bed. Thora told it Admiral Fullerton and he roared. Schneiderlein and Gretchen are with us... The sea is like a looking glass — if it is only so on Tuesday it will be delightful. What fun we might have had were you here. I cannot enjoy myself properly without you, tho' I had to laugh before. We were up on the bridge and the wind wld catch under Thora's dress and blow it up so that she looked impossible and did not know how to move.

The letter in full:

No. 53

July 27th 1894

Душки Ники,

I am down below in the cabin where the piano is — this time it is open and there are tables with writing materials. To my joy I am going to have yr cabin — my name is already put in the place near the door. I shall kiss the name a certain person wrote and where he placed a kiss. I hope it will make me dream of you. Our party only consists of four as the others we had asked rebelled the last moment as they were afraid it might be ruff — nonsense, as there is no motion at all.

Thora is on deck being swung by Dr Woods on a little swing they hang up on purpose for her. The Island looks lovely to-day. How I miss you is not to be described, how mad we were that day and when you lay smoking on Granny's bed. Thora told it Admiral Fullerton and he roared. Schneiderlein and Gretchen are with us.

Fancy, one of the poor men of the explosion last week was swamped up near the yacht yesterday and he is now lying where the poor others were. It is too sad! The sea is like a looking glass — if it is only so on Tuesday it will be delightful. What fun we might have had were you here. I cannot enjoy myself properly without you, tho' I had to laugh before. We were up on the bridge and the wind wld catch under Thora's dress and blow it up so that she looked impossible and did not know how to move. We are going to have tea up there afterwards. We lunched at ¼ to 1 before coming on board. Schneiderlein grumbles because I did not learn properly to-day, my head is ramolie and empty, only one picture is in it. Whose?

Here I am home again. I have been rubbing Thora as poor Child had such a bad headache. Our trip was nice, the air so lovely but I could not help feeling depressed without you. I miss you too dreadfully my beloved sweet darling. I am going to rest now a bit and then shall continue before going to bed. "Loin des yeux mais près du coeur" "I love thee, I love thee, that's all I can say, it is my dreaming in the night, my vision in the day, the very echo of my heart, the blessing when I pray."

We had Lady's Dinner (dull) and then played duets of course. I can't write much to-day as I have such neuralgia and my right eye is fast closing. Lovy sweet, God bless you. Your little girly misses you badly and the evenings, how gently my poor tired Darling slept that night, I longed to keep you clasped in my arms and to have watched over you, but yr old man would have been too greatly shocked and who knows whom you might have met in the morning then.

Granny heard from Charlotte — she suffers from headaches, ever since she was thrown out of the carriage and is therefore going for a change of air to the Norderney. My Gentleman had concussion of the brain, but the ladies did not suffer in any way.

Now good night sweety, sleep well and dream of your forlorn spitzbub who is anxiously awaiting a letter from darling lausbub by to-morrow morning's post.

28th. Good morning. My hair is being done and I must finish this letter quickly as we are going to Ryde at 10.30 to be photographed. I hope they will succeed as then I shall send you some immediately and those of the other day I hope are at last finished. A good kiss for yr dear telegram I received this morning, it looks too mad in this impossible language.

It is 10 and I must dress and be off to breakfast otherwise Granny is sure to be there before me. Hang that clock striking, og dear, and my hair is not finished.

Schneiderlein will address this. A good kiss. Ever yr own deeply loving and ever faithful bridy

Alix

God bless you, sweety.

Above: Alix.

Above: Nicholas.

Above: Alix's cousin Princess Helena Victoria of Schleswig-Holstein, known within the family as Thora.

Notes: "Душки Ники" = "Darling Nicky".

ramolie = exhausted.

"Loin des yeux mais près du coeur" = "Out of sight, but close to the heart".

Olga's letter to Alexandra, with a copied out prayer poem, dated April 3, 1910

Source:

Olga Grigor'eva at lastromanovs on VK

https://vk.com/lastromanovs?w=wall-56510987_24682

The poem Olga includes, "A Prayer", or, "Teach Me, God, To Love", was written by a relative, Konstantin Romanov, in 1886.

The letter:

3-го Апр. 1910. Ц. С.

Молитва

Научи меня, Боже, любить

Всем умом Тебя, всем помышленьем,

Чтоб и душу Тебе посвятить,

И всю жизнь с каждым сердца биением.

Научи Ты меня соблюдать

Лишь Твою милосердную волю,

Научи никогда не роптать

На свою многотрудную долю.

Всех, которых пришел искупить

Ты Своею Пречистою Кровью,

— Бескорыстной, глубокой любовью

Научи меня, Боже, любить.

I like it too sweet beloved darling Mama mine. How awfull if really one would change the officers & he would go away.

I would be so sad & for You. My love, as no one will be with you on shore. Yes it will be very said. Will sleep well my Mama sunline Angel dear.

God bless you & make you strong again. Hearty kisses to You & beloved Papa

fr. Yr. ever very own awfully loving & true daughter

Olga

If you can please write heartily beloved Mother!

A word only write

English translation of the prayer poem (my own):

A Prayer

Teach me, God, to love

With all mind for Thee, with all thoughts of Thee,

To devote my soul to Thee,

And all my life with every heartbeat.

Teach me to keep

Only Thy merciful will,

To learn to never complain

Of my own hard lot.

All who came to redeem

Thou, with Thy Pure Blood,

— Selfless, deep love

Teach me, God, to love.

Above: Alexandra.

Above: Olga.

Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated May 14/26 and May 15/27, 1894

Sources:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 86 to 88, by George Hawkins, 2023

https://disk.yandex.com/mail?hash=kuDdHgzAhlj8Vmyce8roYrsV8lLetWtFFyElqTSKDCI%3D%3A

The letter:

Мая 14/26 1894. Гатчина.

№ 24.

Моя дорогая душка Аликс,

Today alas! no letter came, so I must sit down & comfort myself by having a chat with you, my own little darling! It is again getting fine wh. is a blessing! I came here a few hours ago in a тройка, quite a nice drive — if you were only sitting by my side!

Kostia came to visit us in the camp & made an inspection of my petty-officers, whom I was occupied with the whole winter; he was very pleased with the way they answered & with their problems, that they did on maps etc. So I am very happy it is luckily over! After lunching with me, he left & I too immediately after, as on Saturdays after noon we are free! —

We got news from dear Mama & Xenia that have safely arrived and have met Georgie in a flourishing condition! But they are unlucky with the weather, as though it is hot, it rained the whole time! — Mamma has written four letters to Papa during the journey: 3 days & 3 nights in the train, 24 hours on the Black Sea, again a night by rail & half a day in the carriage! Rather a long travel! One might go to Spain fr. Petersburg & arrive at London in the same time! You poor thing must not get frightened at our distances, because even strangers say that you cannot travel more comfortably in any other country. It is true we don't fly as they do elsewhere, that proverb "time is money" does even not exist 'in russian.'

What can you be doing now, my beloved Alix, my one & all? Are you taking only sulphur baths or the iron ones? I hope Schneiderlein will be able to keep you up & Gretchen too. Give them my profound respects & my humble compliments! — Today I saw the captain of the "Polar Star" who is delighted to have a cruize, as this summer the yacht is not wanted and she was doomed to lay at anchor for four months running. We are not going to stop at Copenhagen, so he wants to go slow in the beginning & then towards the end to i[n]crease speed. The great thing is to have enough coal in case of bad weather! — Do you know, the third Worontzow girl is engaged to a great friend of ours, so that makes the fourth couple in their family. I am not going to bring Kotchoubey with me, as he left for his estate in the south, where he has got a good deal to do, but I shall take a charming man — a prince Golitzine — who speaks english perfectly. He was there with me last year for Georgie's & May's wedding. He is Papa's — grand veneur — do you understand? I feel quite sure that the owl is going to appreciate him. He is a bit shy, as he does not hear well on one ear, he has been wounded twice in the war & is nevertheless very active & adores sport! —

"A few verses now - my love:

I saw thee weep — the big bright tear

Came o'er that eye of blue;

And then methought it did appear

A violet dropping dew:

I saw thee smile — the sapphire's blaze

Beside thee ceased to shine;

It could not match the living rays

That fill'd that glame of thine.

—

As clouds fr. yonder sun receive

A deep and mellow dye,

Which scarce the shade of coming eve

Can banish from the ray,

Those smiles unto the moodiest mind

Their own pure joys impart;

Their sunshine leaves a glow behind

That lightens o'er the heart." —

—

Things one would rather have expressed differently.

Angelina (to her newly-betrothed).

"Oh! Edwin, there's such a good-looking girl just behind you! Do look."

Edwin. "Ah, I've no eyes for good cooks now, darling!" —

It is getting late sweety, so I must stop & shall finish it tomorrow. Good night my own precious love sleep well. Oh! that I could bless + you myself. Kisses - kisses!!! —

Мая 15/27. Good-morning my angel. I dreamt of you my sweet one & it was a comfort to be able to talk to you! The weather is fine, the sun bright — it is the 11th anniversary of Papa's Coronation. All the church-bells are ringing merrily & they cheer one up. I hope today a letter will come fr. my dearest girly-darling! I must stop now, Pelly-dear. In church I am going to pray fervently for my little Alix's happiness; may our Saviour keep all griefs & sorrows away and may He bless you with any gift you ask Him for! many tender kisses do I send you & remain, my own beloved precious Alix, ever yr. truly loving & deeply devoted (unto death) old Nicky

Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of TatianaZ on Flickr.

Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated April 27/May 9, 1894

Sources:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 28 to 30, by George Hawkins, 2023

https://disk.yandex.com/mail?hash=kuDdHgzAhlj8Vmyce8roYrsV8lLetWtFFyElqTSKDCI%3D%3A

The letter:

Гатчина.

№-6.

27-го Апреля. 94.

9-го Мая.

Моя милая дорогая Аликс,

So many many tender kisses & thanks for the dear letter № 3, I just came back from town & saw it lying on my table with another one from Louise Fife. You are such a sweet little girl to write to me so often, I only wish you to go on writing to me like that & it never seems to be enough, when I have finished reading I would like so to have something more to read! Oh! it is a blessing to get your sweet letters if you [k]new what enormous pleasure it gives me, it nearly seems as if you had spoken to me & that revives me & keeps me in good spirits for the rest of the day. Where can you get those delightful verses from, I do enjoy them. —

You cannot barre love oute,

Father, mother, & you alle;

For, mark me, love's a crafty boy,

And, his limbes are very smalle;

He's lighter than the thistledoune,

He's fleeter than the dove,

His voice is like the nightingale;

And oh! beware of love.

—

Love give me strength,

And strength shall help afford. —

A heart unspotted is not easily daunted!

I'll be as patient as a gentle stream,

And make a pastime of each weary step,

Till the last step have brought me to my love:

And there I'll rest, as after much turmoil,

A blessed soul doth in Elysium.

O dear life! when shall it be

That mine eyes thine eyes shall see,

And in them thy mind discover?

Whether absence have had force

Thy remembrance to divorce

From the Image of thy lover. —

I am going to look for books that you would like to read, as I know many of our authors have been translated. It would be so nice if you know a little of literature before coming to Russia, darling!

I just received our two groups made by Russel at Rosenau, the big ones, I find them good. But if there are any small ones by him won't my sweet little thing order some for her лаусбуб. Your russian phrases in the beginning of your letter were charming, it is funny how different it seems to the eye a handwriting in another language, more so when it is one's own little lass who tries already to write in that chinese sort of language!

I cannot help stopping after each line & must read over again all the dear & kind things you say in your letter my own pretty little darling, beloved one!

Paul has spent the day with us; as if to teaze me he sung "noh a mal" to himself & I assure you, my love, it made the tears fill my eyes. I played it in the evening with Sandro, he said it reminded him of America; well me it reminded of something quite else! The evenings are much the worst time of the day, I don't know what to do if I am not writing to my own sweet little girly-darling! Luckily they have left me quiet with yr. ring. Fancy today it being a Wednesday it is exactly a week that we are separated! May time run quick! It is also poor Georgie's birthday he is 23; I got a letter fr. him that came back fr. Coburg, in which he sends you all kinds of tender messages. Mama wants to go to see him in a fortnight & she takes the first couple with her. She thought of taking me too, but as I have to go to the camp & I did not like the idea of making the distance between you & me still longer. Then certainly if I were to leave home, it would be for England sweety, there can be no doubt about it. — I have really much to do except the regiment with my Siberian railway comittee.

I forgot to tell I think that the day I arrived all the officers with Costia met me two stations before Gatchina, which was awfully kind of them. Then, last Monday, the first time I returned to the barracks all the men came of their own accord to greet me & were drawn up along that street called the Milionnaia. Isn't it nice of them? my little girly-dear. And all this is my sweet спицбуб's doing! My own men were standing in the court-yard & each company greeted me separately. I am in such a state now that I know I could not scold them, if any had done something wrong, whether I wished to get angry or not. Oh! it is so kind of you to say that everything concerning me interests you — therefore it shall be my regiment that will occupy my darling's attention. I am deeply devoted to our soldiers, when you know them a bit you will agree what pure, strong & faithful natures they are! Forgive me for this sweet one, but you must know, that there was nothing higher for me than military service. Now I must end. Good-bye my sweet own little darling Alix. God bless you! dearest one. + O

Ever yr. own & for ever & ever yr. true Nicky

Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev on Flickr.

Above: The group photos taken at the Rosenau in Coburg.

Notes: лаусбуб (Lausbub) = rascal. This was Alix's nickname for Nicholas.

спицбуб (Spitzbub) = rascal. This was Nicholas's nickname for Alix.

Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated April 23 and 24/May 5 and 6, 1894

Sources:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 16 to 17, by George Hawkins, 2023

https://disk.yandex.com/mail?hash=kuDdHgzAhlj8Vmyce8roYrsV8lLetWtFFyElqTSKDCI%3D%3A

The letter:

April 23d 1894. Gatchina.

May 5th

№ 3.

My own sweet beloved little girly-darling,

What joy your delightful letter from Darmstadt gave me. Every morning I am looking forward to receive a little message from you my душка! You don't know how happy every line you write makes me; I read your letters through till I know them almost by heart & then the words sound oh! tho thweet! tho thweet to my ears! Today looking over my boxes with letters I found to my great delight your too sweet old things from 1889 — it made my heart leap from joy because it reminded me of a good time!? — Often have I repeated to myself these verses that I love now the more as they appear to have told these:

Strive - Wait - and - Pray.

Strive: yet I do not promise

The prize you dream of today

Will not fade when you think to grasp it

And melt in your hand away.

But another and holier treasure

You would now perchance disdain,

Will come when yr. toil is over

And pay you for yr. all your pain. —

Wait: yet I do not tell you

The hour you long for now

Will not come with its radiance vanished

And a shadow upon its brow.

Yet far through the misty future

With a crown of starry light

An hour of joy you know not

Is winging her silent flight.

Pray: though the gift you ask for

May never come for your fears

May never repay your pleading

Yet pray and with hopeful tears

An answer — not that you long for

But diviner, will come, one day.

Your eyes are too dim to see it

Yet; strive & wait & pray! —

If my own darling knew what o'clock it is she would be furious with poor me! but it is so nice writing quite by one self when every soul is sleeping! So better I bid you good-night my little soul! Three fond kisses and God's blessings upon you me sweet darling!... —

May 6th. Good-morning my own precious one! I am just aroused from my slumber, which had been disturbed at 3.0 in the night by an insolent bat. My man, my dog & myself hunted the beast for nearly half an hour before we at last managed to catch the brute in a corner. Then I went to bed again but could not by all possible means go to sleep as I became very hot. All that comes from staying up too late by night & from keeping an open window, but it is so warm you cannot pass a night without any fresh air! I know you agree with me little girly-dear because you also like cold fresh air in the rooms and open windows if possible. —

Noch einmal, noch einmal, noch einmal — nachtigal!.. Oh! that delightful sweet melody. For ever shall I love it & remember those golden days in Coburg! If you only knew how dreadfully I miss my darling little one. If I were allowed to go only on foot to see you again I would set out directly! It seemed too cruel to be separated for such an endless time, I feel I cannot stand it, I shall try to get away earlier. Of course the most heavenly thing for me would be to come & live with you a bit at Walton, but there is no place I fear at Victoria's house & it would derange her greatly. Fancy we would be quite at leisure there. oh! no that is too good to think of! —

Yesterday we all drove out in the park in a "lineika" & after that rowed about the lake in our canoes. Then there came a tremendous shower & we rushed home. It is so warm that we wear already our white uniforms; the weather is exactly like what we had in Darmstadt. Ella & Serge (the governors) came for tea & stayed till after dinner. How those reminded me of those evenings at the schloss when we had nowhere to go to during the hofconcerts & of all that row going on in that small room smelling of bier & smoke.

It is a Sunday & in a few minutes I must go to my Parents & then to church. There I shall pray deeply & fervently for my own darling, that God may keep her always away from grief & sorrow and that He would help you and strengthen you my own sweet one! Good-bye until this evening my beloved precious little girl. With many & fond kisses ever & ever your own true & devoted Nicky.

Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev on Flickr.

Notes: душка = darling.

"Strive, Wait and Pray" = a poem by Adelaide Anne Procter.

Noch einmal, noch einmal, noch einmal, Nachtigall = once more, once more, once more, nightingale.

Schloss = castle.

Bier = beer.

Hofconcerts = court concerts.

Poem dated March 1915 that Alexandra copied into a notebook given to her in 1911 by Rasputin of his sayings and talks

Source:

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=303085221435865&id=108838347527221

The poem:

Rejoice in Simplicity

Simplicity — strength and clothing

Takes pride in nothing

nor elevates anything — 

it is neither gold, nor silver.

The great philosopher simplicity!

Whatever is in the world, the ideal and the impossible — 

only simplicity will do

Let's give it a name — a hero and a knight

March 1915

Petrograd

Above: Alexandra.

Above: Grigori Rasputin.

Alexandra's copied out poems and message for Nicholas, year 1918

Source:

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=223998529344535&id=108838347527221

The poems and message:

"Like an angel of the sky serene,

In the glow of a quiet fire,

You prayed with a tender soul

For yourself, and for me.

You are words of love from me

Spiritual doubt withdraws

And the heart with silent wings

Your prayers of autumn"

Fet.

"My friend, I thank the Creator for all things

In all things, know His holy will

He gave you your earthly share,

He created us, He put in our hearts

A thirst for good, and a light of hopes,

And the heat of blessed joy,

And a polyphonic string of suffering.

He is good, — and from Him, every gift is good.

Thank always — for everything — for joy —

If the joy of His goodness is given

And for sadness. For in sorrow, we can see —

though in a dark robe, —  goodness too!"

Alexandrov.

Wishing my very own beloved precious one every blessing + good health, peace of mind, strength, courage, energy + resignation, recompense, great happiness & good luck for 1918 with 1000 fond kisses fr. old Wify. Tobolsk.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Christmas poem to Nicholas and Alexandra written/copied by Maria, year 1906

Source:

http://statearchive.ru/657&searched=%C0%EB%E5%EA%F1%E0%ED%E4%F0%FB+%D4%E5%E4%EE%F0%EE%E2%ED%FB&highlight=ajaxSearch_highlight+ajaxSearch_highlight1+ajaxSearch_highlight2

The poem:

To my dear Mamma and Papa.

Tsarskoe Selo.

Christmas 1906.

Waken, little children,
Up, and let us sing.
With glad voice the praises
Of our new-born King.

In a manger lowly,
Sleeps the Heavenly Child,
O'er Him fondly bendeth
Mary, mother mild.

Far above that stable,
Up in heaven so high.
One bright star outshineth,
Watching silently

Haste we then to welcome,
With a joyous lay,
Christ the King of Glory,
Born for us to day.

Above: Alexandra.

Above: Nicholas.

Above: Maria.

Olga's copy of a Christmas poem for Alexandra, year 1906

Source:

http://statearchive.ru/469&searched=%C0%EB%E5%EA%F1%E0%ED%E4%F0%FB+%D4%E5%E4%EE%F0%EE%E2%ED%FB&highlight=ajaxSearch_highlight+ajaxSearch_highlight1+ajaxSearch_highlight2

The poem:

For my dear Mamma.

Christmas.

Tsarskoe-Selo 1906.

Christmas Greetings.
W. Manning.

There is kindness in the very name of Christmas,
There is joy in every clang of merry bells;
There is peace on every hand, on sea, and over land,
And good-will in every wish of "glad Noels"
There is little in the words that I am saying.
But the wish that they convey is most sincere
May your Christmas Day be bright, and your troubles ever light,
And joy attend you through the coming Year.
Olga.

Above: Alexandra.

Above: Olga.

Alix's poem and quotes letter to Nicholas, dated May 2 and 3, 1894

Source:

GARF (State Archives of the Russian Federation) via Olga Grigor'eva at lastromanovs on VK

https://vk.com/lastromanovs?w=wall-56510987_27383

Additions to this letter:

https://empressalix.blogspot.com/2019/06/alixs-letter-to-nicholas-year-1894.html

The poem and quotes letter:

May love and peace, and

Blessings without end.

Wreath all your path like flowers,

Oh, my friend!

And if a thorn should touch you where they grow,

Believe, indeed, I would not have it so. —

Oh, how I long to clasp you to my heart & kiss your dear head, my love, I feel so lonely without you. God bless you, my own one, & may He watch over & keep you safe & let you sleep & dream sweetly. —

I scratched Jocco's head from you, & he called my name.

"I could not do without Thee!

I cannot stand alone:

I have no strength or goodness,

No wisdom of my own.

But thou, beloved Saviour,

Art all in all to me,

And meekness will be power,

If leaning hard on Thee." —

"Nothing so smooths & sweetens life as Prayer." — "Hearts are drawn together by talking of their kindred pursuits, souls by speaking of Heavenly things." — "Have mercy upon those to whom God has sent the bitter trial of seperation from those they love." — "The Lord thy God with thee whithersoever thou goest." —

"Withhold my hands from doing wrong,

My feet from courses vain:

Teach likewise ev'ry other sense

To act an honest part,

But chiefly settle innocence

And pureness in my heart." —

II.

Alix

I am too tired to write any more to-night, thо' I long to scribble on, but to-morrow morning I will finish this epistle. Good-night, my own sweet one, my Boysy, my own true love, & God & His Angels watch over you & my prayers & blessings flie to you. —

"And now — abideth faith hope & love these three, but the greatest of these is Love."

(1 Cor. XIII.)

May 3rd. —

Good morning my own Darling Nicky, & how did you sleep? I woke up, imagining myself at Coburg, wh, alas was not the case. It is pouring, & I hear the soldiers tramping to Church. — It is too bad, Madelaine has by mistake packed up your egg with the biscuit, & just when you might have liked them on the journey. — She is doing my hair now, & it is late, so I cannot write much more. —

I should liked to have telegraphed to you, my Darling, on the way, but I fear it might not reach you; but you know my thoughts are with you & that I am longing for you. Bless you sweet one. — Give yr dear Parents & the others my best love, & don't let the haughty first couple grumble so. —

Many a tender kiss I press here & remain with tenderest love.

Ever, Precious Darling,

yr. own little girly

Alix.

for ever and ever.

Yr. dear photo stands before me, & makes feel me lonely, the dear words on it make me so happy. — I shall write tomorrow from Windsor.

Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of TatianaZ on Flickr.