Source:
GMZ Tsarskoe Selo on VK
Sunday, April 30, 2023
Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated December 17/29, 1893
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 310 to 311, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Gatchina.
December 17/29 1893.
My dearest Alix,
Please excuse my not having answered your letter sooner, but you may well imagine what a blow it proved to me. I could not write to you all these days on account of the sad state of mind I was in. Now that my restlessness has passed I feel more calm and am able to answer your letter quietly. Let me thank you first of all for the frank and open way in which you spoke to me in that letter! There is nothing worse in the world than things misunderstood and not brought to the point. I knew from the beginning what an obstacle there rose between us and I felt so deeply for you all these years, knowing perfectly the great difficulties you would have had to overcome! But still it is so awfully hard, when you have cherished a dream for many a year and think — now you are near to it's being realized — then suddenly the curtain is drawn and — you see only an empty space and feel oh! so lonely and so beaten down!!
I cannot deny the reasons you give me, dear Alix; but I have got one which is also true: you hardly know the depth of our religion. If you only could have learnt it with somebody, who knows it, and could have read books, where you might see the likeness and difference of the two — perhaps then! it would not have troubled you in the same way as it does now! Your living quite alone without any one's help in such a matter, – is also a sad circumstance in the barrier that apparently stands between us! It is too sad for words to know that that barrier is — religion!
Don't you think, dearest, that the five years, since we know each other, have passed in vain and with no result? Certainly not — for me atleast. And how am I to change my feelings after waiting & wishing for so long, even now after that sad letter you sent me?
I trust in God's mercy; may be it is His will that we both, but you especially, should suffer long — may be after helping us through all these miseries and trials — He will yet guide my darling along the path that I pray daily for!
Oh! do not say 'no' directly, my dearest Alix, do not ruin my life already! Do you think there can exist any happiness in the whole world without you? After having unvolontarily! kept me waiting and.... hoping, can this end in such a way?
Oh! do not get angry with me if I am beginning to say silly things, though I promised in this letter to be calm! Your heart is too kind not to understand what tortures I am going through now.
But I have spoken enough and must end this epistle of mine. Thank you so much for your charming photo. I send you mine here enclosed.
Let me wish, dearest Alix, that the coming Year may bring you peace, happiness, comfort and the fulfillment of your wishes. God bless and protect you!
Ever your loving & devoted
Nicky
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Above: Alix.
Above: Nicholas.
Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated October 31/November 12, 1893
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 305 to 306, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Gatchina.
Oct. 31/Nov. 12 1893.
Dearest Alix,
Please excuse this boldness of mine of writing a few lines to tell you how sorry I was and how I deeply regret not to have been able to come and see you while Ella stayed with you. But after our returning from Denmark, a lot of important matters — one about Georgie — who luckily is quite well now, kept me back from going. You may well imagine my disapointment at te[a]sing such a splendid & chance of flying off to Pelly, after such a long time...
Because Berlin and all those ceremonies & functions for Mossy's wedding, where we generally need to be about half a mile off from each other, cannot be called a pleasant meeting. And for you poor thing especially it must be of a disagreeable recollection, as you suffered so from an ear-ache!
I do hope you are quite well and that awful pain has not come back. —
If you don't mind wouldn't you send me a photo of yours, one of the new ones, like those you sent Xenia lately? I would be so happy to have one near me. — I have to go often to town to my regiment (the Preobragenski's) and whenever I look into our garden at Anitchkoff I always think of that lovely time on the ice, which seems now to be a dream.
And now good-bye my darling Pelly. God bless you and help you in all the troubles of life.
Ever your devoted Nicky
Above: Alix.
Above: Nicholas.
Note: Pelly was one of Nicholas's nicknames for Alix and vice versa.
Tatiana's letter to Olga Voronova, dated October 19, 1915
Source:
Kler Chernikina at lastromanovs on VK
The letter:
Царское-Село.
19го Октября 1915.
Дорогая моя Ольга душка,
Спасибо Вам большое, дорогая моя, за Ваше письмо, которое получила здесь по возвращению из Ставки, где мы были 4 дня. Очень было хорошо. До этого мы были с Мама в Твери, Рязани (?) Великих Луках и Орше. Потом к Папа.
Очень хорошо было в Могилеве, Алексей был так доволен быть там и массу интересного рассказывал, все свои впечатления. Папа ему дал Георгиевскую медаль 4 ст: по просьбе Ген. Иванова и его западной армии в которой они были. Они были в 5 вер. от окопов и слышали артиллерийскую стрельбу и видели войска. Папа и Алексей страшно довольны и говорили что чудно было. Войска были созданы для парада и сейчас после уходили обратно в окопы. Они так кричали ура, что те солдаты в окопах говорили что наверно неприятель все слышал. Ведь так близко было.
Вы напишите мне, Ольга душка, если Вы переедете из Севастополя. Я Вам пока подожду писать, что бы письма не разошлись. Сестры целуют Вас и Тату и благодарят за поклон. Надеюсь, что Тата отдохнет хорошо.
Как хорошо вышло, что она теперь с Вами, а то Вам было-бы очень грустно и скучно быть одной без мужа. Ну, досвиданья моя дорогая. Храни Вас Бог. Целую Тату. Вас же крепко крепко целую как люблю.
Ваша Татьяна.
English translation (my own):
Tsarskoe-Selo.
October 19th, 1915.
My dear Olga darling,
Thank you very much, my dear, for your letter, which I received here on my return from Stavka, where we spent 4 days. It was very good. Before that, Mama and I were in Tver, Ryazan (?), Velikiye Luki and Orsha. Then to Papa.
It was very good in Mogilev, Alexei was so pleased to be there and told a lot of interesting things, all his impressions. Papa gave him the St. George medal of the 4th class at the request of Gen. Ivanov and his western army in which they were. They were in 5 ver. from the trenches and heard the artillery fire and saw the troops. Papa and Alexei are terribly pleased and said that it was wonderful. The troops had been raised for the parade, and now after they were going back to the trenches. They shouted hurrah so much that those soldiers in the trenches said that the enemy must have heard everything. After all, it was so close.
You write to me, Olga darling, if you move from Sevastopol. I will wait for you to write so that the letters do not disperse. The sisters kiss you and Tata and thank you for the bow. I hope that Tata will have a good rest.
How well it turned out that she is now with you, otherwise it would be very sad and boring for you to be alone without [your] husband. Well, goodbye my dear. God bless you. I kiss Tata. I kiss you firmly as I love you.
Your Tatiana.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra with Alexei.
Above: Tatiana with Alexei. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Note: Tata = Natalia K. Kleinmichel, Olga Voronova's sister.
Tatiana's letter to Olga Voronova, dated November 3, 1915
Source:
Kler Chernikina at lastromanovs on VK
The letter:
Царское Село.
3го Ноября. 1915 г.
Ольга душка,
Спасибо Вам за Ваше письмо. Очень обрадовалась за Вас когда услышала, что Ваш муж назначается сюда. Как хорошо выходит, что Вы так много вместе. Алексей пишет, что он страшно доволен быть опять с Папа, и медалью он ужасно доволен и горд. За Папа мы так рады тоже, что он получил крест. Теперь эти дни я одна работаю в лазарете т. к. Мама опять устала и у нея сердце болит, а Ольга кажется просто переутомилась и ее уложили несколько дней. Но так она ничего, а утомляется стоять и что бы скорее поправилась ее и положили. — Но сейчас у нас не много работы в лазарете, т. к. мало офицеров и не у всех перевязки. Ну а после перевязок если есть время до часу, я с ними играю в какие нибудь игры. Нам пристроили гостиную т. к. раньше всем приходилось сидеть в коридоре и не было так уютно и обедают тоже все там т. к. этот дом был построен для заразных больных и он был готов как раз к началу войны и т. к. он был новый и чистый его Мама и выбрала для раненых.
А что Вы поделываете? Много-ли бываете с Эллой и как она бедняжка? Здоровы ли Ваш брат и beau-frère? Наверно Вы очень рады попасть опять на Вашу старую квартиру?
Так грустно здесь без Папа и Алексея. Но я рада что они вместе, по крайней мере Папа не так скучно. Они живут вместе в одной комнате. Общая спальня и кабинет. У Папа большой письменный стол, а у Алексея маленький, на котором он занимается с своим французским гувернером Mr. Gilliard. Вы его кажется видели в Ливадии? Алексей его очень любит. Днем Алексей ездит с Папа и остальными на прогулку за город или через Днепр. Гуляют костры устраивают. Он там таким самостоятельным завтракает со всеми масса народу и иностранцы. Он их нисколько не конфузится и разговаривает с ними по французски. По английски у него меньше выходит, но всё же ничего. —
Ну, досвиданья Ольга душка. Сердечный привет Вашему мужу. Вас крепко целую как люблю.
Ваша
Татьяна.
English translation (my own):
Tsarskoe Selo.
November 3rd. 1915.
Olga darling,
Thank you for your letter. I was very happy for you when I heard that your husband was appointed here. How good it is that you are together so much. Alexei writes that he is terribly pleased to be with Papa again, and he is terribly pleased and proud of the medal. We are so happy for Papa too that he received the cross. Now these days I work alone in the infirmary because Mama is tired again and her heart hurts, but Olga seems to be just overtired and she was laid down for several days. So she's okay, but she gets tired of standing and that she would soon recover and be laid down. But now we don't have a lot of work in the infirmary because there are few officers and not everyone has dressings. Well, after dressings, if there is time before one, I play some games with them. They added a living room for us because before everyone had to sit in the corridor and it wasn't so comfortable and everyone dined there too because this house was built for contagious patients and it was ready just in time for the start of the war, and because it was new and clean, Mama chose it for the wounded.
What are you doing? Do you spend a lot of time with Ella and how is she poor thing? Are your brother and beau-frère healthy? You must be very happy to get back to your old apartment?
So sad here without Papa and Alexei. But I'm glad that they are together, at least Papa is not so bored. They live together in the same room. Shared bedroom and office. Papa has a large desk, and Alexei has a little one, where he studies with his French tutor Mr. Gilliard. You seem to have seen him in Livadia? Alexei loves him very much. During the day Alexei goes with Papa and the others for a walk outside the city or across the Dnieper. They make bonfires. He has such an independent breakfast there with all the masses of people and foreigners. He does not embarrass them at all and speaks French with them. In English, he has less output, but still nothing. —
Well goodbye Olga darling. Hearty greetings to your husband. I kiss you firmly as I love you.
Your
Tatiana.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra with Alexei. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Alexei with Pierre Gilliard. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Tatiana with Alexei.
Note: beau-frère = brother-in-law.
Alexei's letter to Alexandra, dated November 28, 1915
Source:
Kler Chernikina at lastromanovs on VK
Pierre Gilliard's letter of the same day to Alexandra is here:
The letter:
Ставка, 28 Ноября 1915 г.
Дорогой Мама.
Я утром встал в половине 10 потом учился и завтракал совсеми. После завтрака я оддыхал и потом гулял. А теперь пишу Тебе. Папа читает доклады. M. Жилик пишед Тебе. Скоро Папа чай пить будет. Незнаю что писадь. Скучаю без Вас. Вчера я и Папа принемали 9 солдат которые опозали на Георгиевский Празник и первый из них был Кузьма Крючков. Было очень интересно. Кланяйся всем. Целую Вас. Получил Ваши письма.
Да хранит Вас Господь Бог +!
Любящий Вас
Алексей
Атаман шот Джой и свинья Ваня Бойка
English translation (my own):
Stavka, November 28, 1915
Dear Mama.
I got up at half past 10 in the morning, then studied and had breakfast with everyone. After breakfast I rested and then walked. And now I am writing to You. Papa is reading reports. M. Zhilik writes to You. Soon Papa will have tea. I don't know what to write. I miss You. Yesterday Papa and I received 9 soldiers who were late for St. George's Feast and the first of them was Kuzma Kryuchkov. It was very interesting. Bow to everyone. I kiss You. I have received Your letters.
The Lord God keep You +!
Your loving
Alexei
Ataman shot Joy and pig Vanya Boika
Above: Alexei with Pierre Gilliard. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Note: Zhilik was a nickname Alexei and his sisters used for Pierre Gilliard, their French tutor.
Pierre Gilliard's letter to Alexandra, dated November 28, 1915
Source:
Kler Chernikina at lastromanovs on VK
The letter:
Madame,
Hier à six heures Alexis Nicolaévitch a accompagné Sa Majesté qui a reçu neuf sous-officiers et soldats lesquels n'avaient pas pu arriver assez tôt pour prendre part à la parade de la fête de Saint Georges. Parmi eux se trouvait le fameux cosaque Кузьма Крючков. Après le dîner Alexis Nicolaévitch a lu à haute voix en russe et en français. Il s'est couché de bonne heure, a bien dormi et fort longtemps.
Ce matin Il a préparé un des travaux écrits donnés par Monsieur Pétrof puis Il a eu une leçon de français. Il a bien travaillé.
Après une promenade de trois quarts d'heure Il est rentré et a déjeuné à la table commune. L'après-midi Il s'est promené pendant une heure au jardin avec Sa Majesté.
Le temps ces deux derniers jours est heureusement beaucoup meilleur: léger gel et un peu de neige.
Après la promenade Alexis Nicolaévitch a écrit à Votre Majesté et en ce moment Il commence une lettre au docteur Dérévenko.
Je suis avec profond respect, Madame, de Votre majesté le très humble et très obéissant serviteur.
Pierre Gilliard
Grand Quartier général, ce 28 novembre 1915
English translation (my own):
Madame,
Yesterday at six o'clock Alexei Nikolaevich accompanied His Majesty who received nine non-commissioned officers and soldiers who had not been able to arrive early enough to take part in the parade for the feast of St. George. Among them was the famous Cossack Kuzma Kryuchkov. After dinner Alexei Nikolaevich read aloud in Russian and French. He went to bed early, slept well and for a very long time.
This morning He prepared one of the written works given by Mr. Petrov, then He had a French lesson. He worked well.
After a walk of three quarters of an hour He returned and had lunch at the common table. In the afternoon He walked for an hour in the garden with His Majesty.
The weather these last two days is fortunately much better: light frost and a little snow.
After the walk Alexei Nikolaevich wrote to Your Majesty and is just beginning a letter to Dr. Derevenko.
I am with deep respect, Madame, Your Majesty's very humble and very obedient servant.
Pierre Gilliard
General Headquarters, November 28, 1915
Above: Alexei with Nicholas at the Governor's House in Mogilev.
Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Pierre Gilliard with Alexei.
Pierre Gilliard's letter to Alexandra, dated November 29, 1915
Source:
Kler Chernikina at lastromanovs on VK
The letter:
Madame,
La soirée d'hier et la journée d'aujourd'hui ont été bonnes.
Alexis Nicolaévitch est tout à fait bien, l'appétit est satisfaisant et j'espère qu'il deviendra meilleur encore. Alexis Nicolaévitch n'a cependant pas encore repris Son poids et Ses bonnes couleurs.
Hier soir lectures journalières en russe et en français.
Ce matin Alexis Nicolaévitch est allé avec Sa Majesté à la messe à 10 heures et quart. Au retour, Il s'est promené dans le jardin jusqu'au déjeuner. Cet après-midi Il s'est promené de nouveau avec Sa Majesté; il y avait trois degrés de chaud et du soleil.
En rentrant Il a écrit à Votre Majesté et maintenant Il assiste au thé.
Je suis avec profond respect, Madame, de Votre majesté le très humble et très obéissant serviteur.
Pierre Gilliard
Grand Quartier général
Ce 29 novembre 1915
English translation (my own):
Madame,
Yesterday evening and today were good.
Alexei Nikolaevich is quite well, his appetite is satisfactory and I hope he will get even better. However, Alexei Nikolaevich has not yet regained His weight and His good colors.
Last night daily readings in Russian and French.
This morning Alexei Nikolaevich went with His Majesty to mass at a quarter past ten. On his return, He walked in the garden until lunch. This afternoon He walked again with His Majesty; it was three degrees hot and sunny.
On returning He wrote to Your Majesty and now He attends tea.
I am with deep respect, Madame, Your Majesty's very humble and very obedient servant.
Pierre Gilliard
Grand General Headquarters
This November 29, 1915
Above: Alexei.
Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Pierre Gilliard.
Pierre Gilliard's letter to Alexandra, dated November 30, 1915
Source:
Kler Chernikina at lastromanovs on VK
The letter:
Madame,
Alexis Nicolaévitch me charge de dire à Votre Majesté qu'il regrette beaucoup de ne pas pouvoir écrire aujourd'hui. Ce matin ce sont les leçons qui L'en ont empêché et cet après-midi la faute en est au cinématographe.
Il envoie à Votre Majesté des marrons ramassés hier au jardin et embrasse beaucoup beaucoup Votre Majesté et les Grandes Duchesses. (Je transcris exactement ce qu'Il m'a dit).
Sa santé grâce à Dieu continue à être bonne. Il a bien dormi et a travaillé avec application ce matin.
L'appétit est bon maintenant et j'espère qu'Il va reprendre du poids.
Aujourd'hui à déjeuner Il a beaucoup regretté l'absence des généraux belge et japonais.
Au moment où j'écris à Votre Majesté Il se promène avec l'Empereur au jardin.
Je prie Votre majesté de me croire Son très humble et très obéissant serviteur.
Pierre Gilliard
Grand Quartier général
Ce 30 novembre 1915
English translation (my own):
Madame,
Alexei Nikolaevich instructs me to tell Your Majesty that he very much regrets not being able to write today. This morning it was the lessons that prevented Him from doing so, and this afternoon the fault is in the cinematograph.
He sends Your Majesty chestnuts picked up yesterday in the garden and kisses Your Majesty and the Grand Duchesses very very much. (I transcribe exactly what He has told me).
His health, thank God, continues to be good. He slept well and worked diligently this morning.
The appetite is good now and I hope He will gain weight.
Today at lunch He greatly regretted the absence of the Belgian and Japanese generals.
As I write to Your Majesty He is walking with the Emperor in the garden.
I beg Your Majesty to believe me Her most humble and most obedient servant.
Pierre Gilliard
Grand General Headquarters
This November 30, 1915
Above: Alexei at Stavka (Headquarters).
Above: Alexandra.
Above: Pierre Gilliard.
Olga's letter to Alexandra, dated December 24, 1914
Source:
Olga Grigor'eva at lastromanovs on VK
The letter:
God bless You my precious sweet Mama. Do not be so sad Darling. God will help все-таки, & all will be better.
Nicholas wishes all good things. Thanks very very much for nice present & kisses hands.
Sleep well Mama Angel. I kiss & love You fearfully.
Yr. ever truly loving
girl Olga. Dec. 24 - 1914
Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Olga.
Maria's letter to Alexandra, dated December 2, 1914
Source:
Olga Grigor'eva at lastromanovs on VK
The letter:
2го Декабря 1914. Ц. С. —
My beloved Mama dear!
Ужасно благодарю за милую записку и телеграмму. Утром учились, и я гуляла с Шурой. У Анастасии еще настоящего Бекера нет а только так.
Сейчас у нас был урок П. В. Он нам читал Тургеньева.
Вырезал В. Н. глаз командиру Ширванского полка. Крепко Тебя целую и люблю.
Твоя дочь.
Мария.
Храни Тебя Бог. +
English translation (my own; with original English in italics):
December 2nd 1914. Ts. S. —
My beloved Mama dear!
I thank You so awfully much for the nice note and telegram. In the morning we studied, and I walked with Shura. Anastasia still does not have a real Beker, but only like that.
Now we have had a lesson from P. V. He read Turgenev to us.
V. N. cut out the eye of the commander of the Shirvansky regiment. I kiss You firmly and love You.
Your daughter.
Maria.
God bless You. +
Above: Alexandra.
Above: Maria and Anastasia.
Note: Beker (also spelled Bekker or Becker) was a euphemism that Alexandra and her daughters used for their menstrual periods.
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