Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 3: The Young Empress, 1895-1905, page 138, by George Hawkins, 2024
A Lifelong Passion, letters and diary entries compiled by Andrei Maylunas and Sergei Mironenko, 1992
Alexandra wrote this letter to her sister-in-law Xenia on April 4/17 (Old Style), 1902, telling her that she thinks she might be pregnant. This pregnancy turned out to be what is called a phantom pregnancy, where a woman will have symptoms of pregnancy despite not actually being pregnant.
The letter:
Dear Chicken,
I shall ask Mama [sic] to bring you these lines. You are enjoying the lovely Crimea and we still have ice — but the sun warms already nicely. So it is true and you are sure about yourself, so now I must confess the same thing. I know by your looks you have been thinking it was so, but I on purpose did not tell you, so as that when others asked, you can honestly say that you did not know. Now it begins to be difficult to hide. Don't write to Motherdear, as I want to tell it to her when she returns next week. I feel so well, thank God; in August! — My broad waist all winter must have struck you.
Tender kisses from your old Hen.
Alexandra wrote this letter to her sister-in-law Xenia on April 4/17 (Old Style), 1902, telling her that she thinks she might be pregnant. This pregnancy turned out to be what is called a phantom pregnancy, where a woman will have symptoms of pregnancy despite not actually being pregnant.
The letter:
Dear Chicken,
I shall ask Mama [sic] to bring you these lines. You are enjoying the lovely Crimea and we still have ice — but the sun warms already nicely. So it is true and you are sure about yourself, so now I must confess the same thing. I know by your looks you have been thinking it was so, but I on purpose did not tell you, so as that when others asked, you can honestly say that you did not know. Now it begins to be difficult to hide. Don't write to Motherdear, as I want to tell it to her when she returns next week. I feel so well, thank God; in August! — My broad waist all winter must have struck you.
Tender kisses from your old Hen.
The letter in full:
СПБ April 4/17 1902
Darling Chicken,
I shall ask Стана to bring you these lines. I am sure that your thoughts have been much with poor N. who has lost a real true friend in Sipaguine. He feels it very much, but is brave and courageous as always. God will help that all may come right still. You are enjoying the lovely Crimea and we have still ice, but the sun warms already nicely.
So it is true, and you are sure about yourself, so now I must confess the same thing. I know by yr looks you have been thinking it was so, but I on purpose did not tell you so as that when others asked, you could honestly say you did not know. Now it begins to be difficult to hide. Don't write to Motherdear, as I want to tell it her when she returns next week. I feel so well, thank God, in August! My broad waist all winter must have struck you.
Poor Nadinka gets daily weaker. She had a stroke on Sunday and cannot speak nor scarcely swallow. I think it cannot last. I sit a great deal with her and was present when she took the Holy Communion. She recognises me and looks so happy when I come. She understands often when one talks and nods her head.
Now Goodbye Dear and God bless you. May you spend a happy, blessed Easter-tide. We and the Children take the Holy Communion next Thursday. Easternight will be as usual. I have arranged the R[ussian] Dress I was to have worn for the Entry (Marriage) and wh I wore for my first baise-main. It is very light, no embroidery scarcely and I have put lovely old lace and some roses on it and a new large bodice.
Tender kisses fr yr old Hen
As soon as the eggs I ordered for you and S. are finished I'll send them.
Above: Alexandra.
Above: Xenia.
Above: Marie Feodorovna. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Notes: СПБ = St Petersburg.
Стана = Stana.
Sipaguine = "Minister of the Interior, Dmitri Sipyagin, who was assassinated on 2 April 1902."
