Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 55 to 57, by George Hawkins, 2023
https://www.quora.com/What-language-did-Tsar-Nicolas-II-Russian-and-his-wife-Alexandra-German-speak-to-each-other
The letter:
No: 16
Windsor Castle
May 16
th 1894.
Милыи, дорогои Ники,
I am in great haste going to scrawl these lines for the Russian messenger. It is sad, I have not heard from you to-day, but instead from Toria, who sent me a photo she had done of you, in a little red heartframe. It was too dear of her. — When one is in a great hurry one never can write what one wants to, & that is my case, as Granny will be sending for me in [
illegible], to sit with her whilst Tuxen is painting her for Georgie's Wedding group. —
There — now my letter cannot go by messenger, she sent for me now we are going out driving. I am dressed & only waiting for the servant to say she is ready.
Я сегодня каталась въ паркѣ и говорила порусски. I drove Schneiderlein in the cart and took the little dog. Я знаю нѣсколько слова. Я тебя люблю и очень скучаю без тебя. Donnerwetter! They are interrupting me again!
At last I am back from a drive wh. Seemed never to end, I see the Edinburghs all arrive (from the window), I am going to be rude and not go and receive them. I am half dead from perpetually going this endless corridor. I insist upon finishing my letter. They made me write an idiotic one yesterday, just when I want to write an especially nice one for my love's Birthday.
It is nice Aunt Helen is here, she is such an excellent creature, that I fear the most of the relations do not care for her. I love her especially for beloved Unckle Leo's sake, whom I adored and who begged me to love his wife too, and I pitty her so awfully — 10 years a widow and so young.
I have just found your sweet Letter No. 10 for which very tenderest thanks. I shall read the cutting about the Russisch Soldat as soon as I have a moment's peace. So you have found out my little friend's name. I think you better not read the Times, it is not good for you if you find out those things. Well, he is gone, you can be comforted (I am not, do you hear?) Granny has written to you to-day, I think you must have turned her head.
Indeed Arthur Hardinge has a most odd laugh, his sister has an extraordinary habit of [illegible] after each sentence, hmm. Lord Roseberg is dining to-night, hmm, and lots more, hmm.
Yes, we must try and arrange, when you come over. That we spend a night or two in London or at Sandringham, as Aunt Lix will otherwise be too hurt. I like the way you write, almost in one breath, about Aunt Cattie and the coques de bois. You are an impossible boy. Everyday the post brings me Russian letters wh Schneiderlein translates. Begging, and one a grand flood, that I was to love to Russians, they always wanted love and so one, marvelous.
Dinner. Granny has sent for me.
It was the Dinnerlist and Granny wished me to write out about the sitting properly from her note. I get back, find out she has left out two people, so I have put them down and sent the list to Granny and hope it will do now. It is cruel making me go this fearfully long passage so often, soon my legs won't carry me any more. It is nice if one can make oneself useful without promenading in this fashion. Now Madelaine asks about my dress, hang her, they are all bent upon driving me mad. An endless, long Russian letter. I must ask Schneiderlein to read it.
It has been close and sultry weather and rained when we were out, now it is fine and the birds are singing away. Fancy only, the roses are already in bloom, creeping up the walls and the honeysuckle and clematis too. Oh, the Park is glorious now and the venerable old trees sticky with green leaves. Everything seems to rejoice and flourish. Oh, sweet one, I must think of you the whole time and yr. Birthday. I am so aggravated my presents won't be in time and that my letter is so dull.
I still have an amount of letters to answer. I don't know when to begin the task of writing them. I have almost finished my present for Granny, only a few touches with the paintbrush to-morrow and my part is done.
I gaze at yr dear photos before me and feel as tho' I should never for a moment wish to separate myself from them. The house is so full now of relations, that one feels quite oppressed. Victoria and Ludwig come to-morrow, but that I am glad of, so as to see her a bit; tho' the days fly and one does nothing and really has one's hands full.
Forgive I do not write any more now, but I must rest a moment before Dinner, otherwise I shall collapse. God bless you, my own beloved Darling. Many tender kisses. Ever yr own true love, yr little Girly bride
Alix
True unto Death. May God bless you my Angel. I long for you oh so much!
Above: Alix.
Above: Queen Victoria.
Notes: "Милый, дорогои Ники" = "Sweet, dear Nicky".
"Я сегодня каталась въ паркѣ и говорила порусски" = "I went for a drive in the park today and spoke in Russian."
"Я тебя люблю и очень скучаю без тебя" = "I know a few words. I love you and miss you very much."
