Sources:
Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923
The letter:
No. 128.
Tsarskoje Selo, Sept. 20-th 1915
My own beloved Darling,
I read the papers this morning with much interest — the promised explanation of our position at the war, clearly put & the work of a month that you are there keeping the enemy at bay. —
A grey, rainy morning again but not cold. — This afternoon we have a Te Deum in the red cross & then I give the diplomas to the ladies who have finished their courses as nurses & received the red cross. We are always in need of nurses, many get tired, ill, or wish to go out to the front positions to receive medals. The work here is monotonous and continual — out there, there is more excitement, constant change, even danger, uncertainty & not always much work to be done; certainly it is far more tempting. One of our Trepov's daughters worked nearly a year in our Invalid's hospital — but after her Mother's death she always felt restless, so off she went — & has already received the medal on the St. George's ribbon. — I send you a letter from Bulatovitch he sent you through Ania & a summary of her talk with Beletzky — that does indeed seem a man who could be most useful to the minister of the Interior, as he knows everything — Dzhunkovsky eat him out; just when one needs to have all the threads in hand. He says everywhere one complains of Stcherbatov's inactivity & not understanding of his work & duties. Has very bad opinion of fat Orlov & feels sure that my long lost letter from the Standart in C.(rimea) to Ania in the country is in Orlov's hands. Says Dzhunkovsky gave over those filthy papers about our Friend to Maklakov's brother, as they intend bringing up that question in the Duma & papers. — But God grant, if you find Khvostov suitable, he will put a stop to all.
Luckily he is still here & even went to Goremykin to place all his ideas before the old man. Andronnikov gave Ania his word of honour, that nobody shall know, that Khvostov comes to Ania (she sees him in her house, not in the palace) or Beletzky, so that her & my name will remain out of this. — Alas Gadon & Sherv. seem to spread very many bad things about Gregory, as Dzhunkovsky's friend of course — & knowing poor Ella's ideas & wishing to help — thus he does mischief — before others' eyes sets Elagin against Tsarskoje Selo & that is bad & wrong — & its he who ennervates Xenia & Motherdear, instead of keeping them up bravely & squashing gossip.
It was with deepest joy that I received your precious, tender letter — your warm words did my yearning heart good. Yes, my treasure, separation draws one yet closer together — one feels so greatly what one misses — & letters are a great consolation. Indeed he foretold most accurately the length of time you would remain out there. Still I am sure you long to have more contact with the troops, & I shall be glad for you when you will be able to move a bit. Of course this month was too serious — you had to get into your work & plans with Alexeiev & the time has been such an anxious out there — but now thank God, all seems going satisfactorily.
Tell Grabbe I am delighted with his proposition — Viltchkovsky wanted the new barracks badly & wrote I believe to him & Voyeikov about it — I said I could say nothing until you came. Long ago I had my eye upon it — but discreetly held my tongue — now I can only say I am enchanted — it is near the station — so big & lofty & clean, brand new & we have an red cross station waiting to be placed. Thank him very much from me. — The old man has asked to see me at 6 to-morrow, probably to give over things to you, or to tell about Khvostov's talk. — It will be interesting what he will tell about the sitting at Moghilev. What a beautiful telegram from our Friend & what courage it gives you to act firmly. — Certainly, as soon as Samarin goes, one must clear out the members of the Synod and get others in. Our Friend's wife came, Ania saw her — so sad & says he suffers awfully through calumnies & vile things one writes about him — high time to stop all that — Khvostov & Beletzky are men to do that. — Only one must get the 2 Khvostov to work well together — all must unite. But about Sazonov what do you think, I wonder? I believe, as he is a very good & honest (but obstinate) man, that when he sees a new collection of Ministers who are energetic, he may draw himself up & become once more a man — the atmosphere around him cought hold of him & cretinised him. There are men who become marvels in time of anxiety & great difficulties — & others show a pittiful side of their nature. Sazonov needs a good stimulant — & once he sees things "working well" instead of fomenting & at the same time dropping to pieces — he will feel his backbone grow. I cant believe he is as harmful as Stcherbatov & Samarin or even my friend Krivoshein — what has happened to him? I am bitterly disappointed in him. Lovy, if you have an occasion in the train, speak to N. P. & make him understand, that you are glad to make use of me. He wrote to me once very upset that one mentions my name so much & that Goremykin sees me etc. & he does not understand that its my duty, tho' I am a woman, to help you when & where I can, once you are away, all the more so. Don't say I mentioned it, but bring the conversation onto that topic à deux. He has a cousin's husband in the Duma & perhaps he sometimes tries not rightly to tell him things or influence him. He told Axel Pistolkors that I give officers Gregory prayer belts — such rot, one loves those belts with different prayers & I give them to every officer that leaves to the war fr. here — & two whom I never saw begged for them fr. me with a prayer to Father Seraphim. — One told me that those soldiers that wore them in the last war were not killed.
I see N. P. so rarely to talk to longer, & he is so young & I always lead him all these years — & now he suddenly comes into quite a new life — sees what hard times we are going through & trembles for us. He longs to help & of course does not know how to. I fear Petrograd will fill his ears with horrors — please tell him not to heed what one says, because it can make one wild — & nasty ones drag my name about a good deal. —
We were in Church this morning, later drove & after the red Cross called on Silaiev. — His wife is so like her son Raftopulo, too amusing — their little Children are sweet. Now our 5 Chicks are at Ania's in the big palace, playing with Rita Khitrovo & Irina Tolstaya. —
What intense joy — on three days, God grant, we shall have you back again — its too beautiful. My love, my joy, I await you with such eagerness.
Goodbye, Sweetheart, I bless & kiss you without end with deep & true devotion, better, better every day. Sleep well, agooweeone. — I shall still write to-morrow, if a man goes to meet you, as may have something to tell after my talk with Goremykin.
Ever, precious Nicky mine, yr. own, tenderly loving old wife
Alix.
Nicholas's telegrams:
Telegram. Stavka. 19 September, 1915.
Thanks for dear letter. I remember Khvost. I should like to see him on Wednesday at 6 o'clock; could you not tell him? ...
—
Telegram. Stavka. 20 September, 1915.
Warmest thanks for dear letter and two telegrams. I have given your greetings to Grabbe. Amazing, heavenly weather; for the last three days 16. deg. in the shade. Have had a delightful trip on the river, rowing with my gentlemen, in three boats. I kiss you and the children tenderly.
NICKY.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Notes: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".
Rasputin's wife was Praskovia Dubrovina.
