Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 51 to 53, by George Hawkins, 2023
George Hawkins at Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook
Nicholas's letters:
Nicholas's reply to this letter:
The letter:
No. 15
Windsor Castle
May 14th 1894
My own beloved, sweet Nicky dear,
I am sitting down now to write and wish you joy for your dear Birthday. My love, God bless you on the 18th and may the new year into which you then tread be one of utter happiness and full of untold blessings. I cannot write all my congratulations and good wishes, but you my Nicky dear, I am sure will guess, how deeply I am praying for your happiness and all I am wishing for you. The first birthday for which I may write to you, but not the first I have thought of you, how I used to long to send a line of love, but alas it could not be. Oh, had we but been able to spend that dear day to-gether, what a joy it would have been, but how I shall think of you, my own precious darling — Боже тебя храни!
It is such a nuisance my two little presents for you will not be there in time, the man has been so slow about them. I am so annoyed as I so much wanted you to have something from me on that day.
May 15th. I could not continue yesterday and to-day I do not know how I am going to manage it as I am not left two minutes in peace, it is too bad, I shall be vicious to the next person.
Such tender thanks for two dear letters I received to-day, you were an angel writing from St. Petersburg because I am sure you must have been half dead after all your standing about with your soldiers. I am quite enchanted with my cow's photos and have stood them up all round the room and I rejoice being able to look at so many of my darling's sweet face.
The group riding at Livadia too, is charming you know. Granny wants so much to see Mr Heath once, so when he goes to England again you must say it. Gretchen is highly recommended.
Think only the "charming" young Lord has left and an other gentleman has come in his stead, I feel quite low. There was a delightful private band at Granny's last night and we all sat round and listened after Dinner with several strangers. I nearly burst when I watched the one man playing the violoncello as he had an impossible shiny black wigg and rolled his eyes about in an extraordinary fashion. I had to think of the stiff Coburg concerts — but I longed for my neighbour of them.
Indeed it is tiresome, the post takes such ages coming as I am writing my 15th letter and have only got your 9th as yet. Well I never, where did you get that mad German story you wrote to me, too cracked. Your letter was so sweet, I had quickly to read it over again. You are much too good and kind lovy dear.
I drove Schneiderlein in the dogcart this morning and I think she enjoyed driving through the lovely park. I think you would laugh at us terribly were you here. As our conversation is wonderful. I have been trying to learn a little to-day, and now as soon as this epistle is finished, I am going to write for her the translation of the Russian of before. Oh, the pronunciation, the л's and ѣ's — impossible — she is in euqual despair trying the English th. I fear I am remarkably stupid, my memory is rotten to use a common word. Give Xenia much love from her куршугъ. У моего Ники черныя брови. I wonder whether I shall ever learn it?
Eulalia and Alfonse lunched here and now Aunt Helen of Albany and her Children have come. There is always somebody here, so that one is perpetually on the run.
This evening it is dull and grey, but we drove for two hours and had tea in one of the cottages.
Dr. Reid has just been here, there is a little fluid in my right knee — too tiresome, but he thinks that the baths of Harrowgate will do me good. I shall go under the name of Baroness v. Starkenburg, as if the people know a princess and a grandchild even of Granny there then they pester one terribly. In this way I can go with Gretchen and Schneiderlein, and need not have a gentleman with me wh. wld have been otherwise necessary (and a bore).
Prince Victor Dulip Singh drives here to-night. Oh, you know Granny made me show your parents "beauty" to the Ladies and then I wore it the other night, all are mad about it, but it is also too lovely, but I adore my sweet one's things more. I am so glad they don't teaze you about the ring. My sweet precious one, how can you think I should do anything to make you ridiculous — but you could not be so, and I don't see why singing only to your Спицбубъ should make you so. But I will try and not teaze you about it.
I am so delighted to have your photos and they are such charming ones too. God's blessing upon you, my beloved Boy, and may he keep all sorrow and worries from you and let your life be one of sunshine and happiness. I wish you everything that it is only possible for a person to have. I wish I could express myself better, but it is so difficult when one's heart is so full.
Goodbye my own true Love. Many a tender kiss. I remain,
Beloved, precious one, yr. deeply devoted, loving and trusting Girly
Alix
May love and peace and blessings without end wreath all your path like flowers, oh, my friend.
Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of TatianaZ on Flickr.
Notes: "Боже тебя храни!" = "God save you!"
"У моего Ники черныя брови" = "My Nicky has black eyebrows"
Спицбуб = Spitzbub (rascal).
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