Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated April 30/May 12, 1894

Sources:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 42 to 43, by George Hawkins, 2023

https://disk.yandex.com/mail?hash=kuDdHgzAhlj8Vmyce8roYrsV8lLetWtFFyElqTSKDCI%3D%3A

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=285584189852635&id=108838347527221

The letter:

Apr 30th/May 12th

Good morning my own darling. Whilst I have had the pleasure of dreaming of you my little girly-dear, but luckily everything was right, no uncle Alexei in the middle of us two. It was in the Rosenau, just the repetition of what we used to do there! In two hours your sweet letter must come, it is the best time of the day for me. You spoil me my love with your writing to me – and yet it would now seem very hard if a letter did not come once upon a time, you have accustomed yr stupid cow to receiving daily your charming epistles. I miss you my own darling so dreadfully, that I am afraid I bore everyone here to death, I talk very little & certainly do not enliven the family in the least. Oh! how I want you, my own sweet Pelly-dear; it puts me in despair to think that all these days have past in vain & who knows how many shall yet spend away. Now quickly something to revive one: Nachtwächter-variation.

Wenn ein Nachtwächter mit seinen Spiesz in der Hand, seinen Hund hinter sich, in's Horn stoszt, so wird sich gewiez Niemand wundern. Wenn aber derselbe Nacht wächter, seinen Hund in der Hand, sein Horn hinter sich, in seinen Spiesz stiesze, oder seinen Spiesz hinter sich, sich selbst in der Hand sein Horn in der Hund stiesze, oder, sich selbst hinter sich, seinen Hund in der Hand seinen Spiesz in das Horn stiesze – so würde sich gewiez die ganze welt verwundern. –

Well! I think that is a down right rotten story! Forgive me dearest for putting it in my letter. Now I must end. Good bye my own love, my soul, my light of the life & may God never allow sorrow & grief to approach you; I pray to Him that all your life may be like a continual glorious sunshine. God bless you + my sweet beloved little Alix. With fondest kisses O

I am darling little girly-dear

ever & ever your old stupid 

but devoted for life old

cow & loving

Nicky

Above: Nicholas and Alix.

Notes: "Nachtwächter-variation" = "Night watchman-variation."

"Wenn ein Nachtwächter mit seinen Spiesz in der Hand, seinen Hund hinter sich, in's Horn stoszt, so wird sich gewiez Niemand wundern. Wenn aber derselbe Nacht wächter, seinen Hund in der Hand, sein Horn hinter sich, in seinen Spiesz stiesze, oder seinen Spiesz hinter sich, sich selbst in der Hand sein Horn in der Hund stiesze, oder, sich selbst hinter sich, seinen Hund in der Hand seinen Spiesz in das Horn stiesze – so würde sich gewiez die ganze welt verwundern." = "If a night watchman with his spear in hand, with his dog behind him, blows his horn, nobody will be surprised. But when the same night watchman, his dog in hand, his horn behind him, pokes his spear, or his spike behind him, thrusting his horn into the dog in his hand, or, behind himself, thrusting his dog into his hand, thrusts his spear into the horn – the whole world would surely be amazed."