Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 65 to 66, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
7/19 Мая. 1894. Гатчина.
No. 17.
My own sweet little darling Alixy-dear!
Thank you oh! so deeply for your angelic letter, that I just got, bringing me your kind sweet wishes & blessings for 6/18-th! Yes! it was my first birthday that you sweet one wrote me for, did not I used to long for a word from you formerly on this day, and it never came. And now, my beloved own little Alix, we can, as often as we like, write to each other & not care whatever says the world! That is a blessing already I think, I only wish I were more worthy of your trustful love to the old cow! I often read your sweet letters from the first one at Coburg, that you left I never knew how - on my table in the little bed-room? My heart is so grateful for all your sweet tenderness & kindness to me, that again I have no means of expressing [to] you all I feel & have felt since April 20th. Oh! that blessed day!!! I have completely surrounded myself with your dear photos: I made Xenia give me a frame for the four together & Sandro - for the large sad one with a hat & the biggest of us together at Rosenau. Sometimes they all gaze at me so steadily straight into the eyes — that I get a bit shy. Isn't that downright touching? Please give my best thanks to Gretchen for her message. Where on earth did you find out that phrase from: у моего Ники черные брови? Really burst out laughing tho' alone in the room. But take care, sweety, lest I were also to begin writing to you in russian. Our language is very rich in that respect, I mean in the way of using kind & tender names, so it may happen that suddenly a whole sheet might be invaded with incomprehensible expressions till now for my darling. And then what? How are you poor thing to decypher them? Моя душка! мое ненаглядное сокровище! Copy it out & ask Frl. Schneider! — I feel my letter is too idiotic for even craving your pardon, but there are days you know sweety, when not a word or any poor idea passes through the head. Besides in the midst of this letter I suddenly remembered about Granny's birthday & quickly wrote her one; I addressed it at Balmoral as probably she is going there for that date! My own sweet one! But that is 2) really too sad about your poor knee, how I do hope the baths at Harrowgate shall take it away. I think I told you I had something like that also, in the right knee, this winter — well a man did massage for a couple of months and now my knee works & bends even better than does the left one! If you tried that perhaps it would help also, but better do what Dr. Reid tells you!
It is getting very late, so I must stop writing, as my sweety bade me not to sit up too long. Good-night my own little girly-darling. God bless you + a kiss O.
May 8/20. Good morning sweet beloved one! I slept well but feel melancholy — if you only were here to cheer me up a bit! Today we again go to town but for a few hours — it is the ninth day since a. Katty's death which one generally prays for the dead on — then it is the same after three months, six months & the anniversary!
I shall send you some books our priest gave me for you with the messanger and Ulenhuth's photos also. Please darling order me those Russel did then, one of each kind. - Baroness von Starckenburg, what a name — but how shall I be called if I come there before Granny's return from Scotland — or may I come at all at Harrowgate? I would like to know about this sweety because I would not like to get in your way you see!
Now I must end as the post has to leave. With every best thanks for you[r] sweet letter, my own darling little girly-dear and God's blessing upon you believe me your own loving & deeply devoted old boysy
Nicky
A tender kiss my own little one!
Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of Ilya Chishko on Flickr.
Notes: "у моего Ники черные брови" = "my Nicky has black eyebrows"
"Моя душка! мое ненаглядное сокровище!" = "My darling! my beloved treasure!"
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