Alix's letter three days after her 20th birthday (her first without her father), written to Queen Victoria, dated June 9, 1892

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 272, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter:

Heiligenberg
June 9th 1892
My darling Grandmama,
Your dear letter and present touched me deeply, and I hasten to send You my very warmest thanks for both. Nothing could have given me greater pleasure than that enamel of beloved Papa. Oh, I had to think so much of last year, how happy we were then on my Birthday.

This was the first time I spent the 6th without him and I felt it terribly and longed for him. It is a selfish wish to want them back again, now that they are happy and at peace, but one does so yearn to have those one loved close to one.

Now we have at last again fine, sunny weather. I hope everything is now nice and green at Balmoral.

I was indeed astonished when I heard of Missy's engagement and could not at first believe it. One had often heard speak of it, but I thought she had other intentions. She is still so very young, almost a Baby, but I trust she will be happy with Ferdinand.

With [illegible] thanks and kissing Your dear Hand most tenderly, I am, Dearest Grandmama, Your ever very loving and dutiful Child
Alix

Above: Alix.

Above: Alix as a teenager with her father.

Above: Queen Victoria.