Sources:
Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923
The letter:
No. 124.
Tsarskoje Selo, Sept. 16 th 1915
My very own beloved Darling,
Ever such tender kisses and thanks for your treasure of a letter. Ah, how I love to hear fr. you, over and over I reread your letters and kiss them. Shall we really soon have you here — it seems to be too good to be true. It will then be four weeks we are separated — a rare thing in our lives, we have been such lucky creatures and therefore one feels the parting all the more. And now when times are so very hard and trying, I long quite particularly to be near you with my love and tenderness, to give you cheer and courage and to keep you up to being decided and energetic. — God help you my beloved One, to find the right issue to all the difficult questions — this is my constant earnest prayer. But I fully believe in our Friend's words that the glory of your reign is coming, ever since you stuck to your decision, against everybody's wish — and we see the good result. Continue thus, full of energy and wisdom, feeling more sure of yourself and heeding less to the advice of others. Voyeikov did not rise in my opinion this summer, I thought him cleverer and less frightened. He has never been my weakness, but I appreciate his practical brain for simple affairs and orderliness. But he is too selfsure and that has always aggravated me and his mother in law. All this must have been a good lesson to him, lets hope. Only he sticks too much to Stcherbatov, who is a null — tho' he may be a nice man — but I fear that he and Samarin are one. — Heart and soul I shall be praying for you — may the committee go off well — they made me mad last time, and when I looked through the window I did not like their faces and I blessed you over and over again from far. God give you force, wisdom and power to impress them, and to make them realise how badly they have fulfilled your orders these three weeks. You are the master — and not Gutchkov, Stcherbatov, Krivoshein, Nikolai III (as some dare call Nikolasha) Rodzianko, Savorin — they are nothing and you are all, anointed by God. —
I am too happy that Misha is with you, thats why I had to write to him — your very own brother, its just his place, and the longer he stops with you, away from her bad influence the better it is and you will get him to see things with your eyes. Do speak often about Olga, when you are out together, don't let him think badly of her. As you have much to do, tell him simply to write for you to her to tell her what you are doing — that may break the ice between them. Say it naturally, as tho' you never imagined it could be otherwise. I hope he is at last nice with good Mordvinov and does not cut that devoted, loving soul who tenderly loves him.
I do so wonder what the English wrote after you took over the command, I see no Engl. papers, so have no idea. They and the French really seem continuing to push forwards; thank goodness, that they at last could begin and let us hope it will draw some troops away from our side. After all its colossal what the Germans have to do, and one cannot but admire how well and systematically all is operated — did our "mashene" work as well as theirs wh. is of long training and preparation and had we the same amount of railways, war would for sure already have been over. Our Generals are not well enough prepared — tho' many were at the Japanese war, and the Germans have had no war since ages. How much there is to learn from them, wh. is good and necessary for our nation and other things one can turn away from with horror. There was little news in the papers, and you wired last night that the news was good, so that means that we are firmly keeping them at bay. — There are 9 degr. this morning, and it is grey and rainy, not inviting weather. —
Little Nadinka Arseniev is coming to me this morning — poor girl, she was so touched by my letter and yr. sympathy I expressed them all, that she begged me to see her, as none had written so kindly. Poor, foolish child, what will become of her and her brother with all their old nurses and governesses. Her Father was everything to her in life. —
All my thoughts are with you, Sweetheart and those odious Ministers, whose opposition makes me rage — God help you to impress them with yr. firmness and knowledge of the situation and yr. great disapprouval of their behaviour — wh. at such a moment is nothing else but treacherous. But personally I think you will be obliged to change Stcherbatov, Samarin probably longnosed Sazonov and Krivoshein too — they wont change and you cannot keep such types to fight against a new Duma.
How one is tired of all these questions — the war is quite enough and all the misery it has brought and now one must think and work to set all to rights and see that nothing is wanted for the troops, wounded, cripples, families, and refugees. — I shall anxiously await a telegram fr. you, tho' you wont be able to put much in it. —
I am glad my long letters don't bore you and that you feel cosy reading them. I cannot talk with you on paper at least, otherwise it would be too hard, this separation and all the rest wh. worries one. —
Gregory telegraphed that Suslik shld. return and then made us understand that Khvostov wld. be good. You remember, he went once to see him (I think by yr. wish) to N. Novgorod. — I do so long for at last things to go smoother and let you feel you can quite give yourself up to the war and its interests. — How do you think about what I wrote of Ivanov as aid, so as that Alexeiev wont carry all the responsibility when you are off and on away, here or inspecting the troops, wh. I do wish you could soon do — en passant, without preparation by motor fr. a bigger place — nobody will watch 2 motors or 3 even and you could rejoice yr. heart and theirs. — Xenia and Sandro lunch, Aunt Sasha comes to tea and then, I think, I must go for the carrying out of the body of Arseniev as thats not long and then to-morrow to the funeral at Znamenia.
I am so glad the flowers arrive fresh — they cheer up the room and they come out of my vases with all my love and tenderness. — I wonder, whether you asked Stcherbatov what he meant by telling you that nothing wld. be printed in the papers about the speeches at Moscou, when they wrote whatsoever they wished. Coward that he is! —
I am choosing photos. I made, so as to have an album printed for Xmas (like A. Alex's) for charity, and I think it will sell well, as the small albums with my photos sold at once here this summer — and in the Crimea. —
Went for a drive to Pavlovsk with Anastasia, Marie and Ania, — the weather was lovely, the sun shone and all glittered like gold, a real treat such weather. At first I placed candles before the Virgin's Image, and St. Nicolas at Znamenia and prayed fervently for you. Church was being cleaned up, palms being stood and blue carpets arranged for poor Arseniev. Aunt Sasha took tea and chattered a lot and abused nobody, I could not keep her long as wanted to go with Olga to the funeral procession — of course because of the old woman we were late and they were just carrying him out, so we followed with Nadinka till the street and he was put on the funeral car and then we came home, as I go to-morrow to the funeral. Stepanov, — Ella had sent, — Skariatin, her old brother was there, Balashov; the 2 sons, Benkendorf, Putiatin, Nebolsin and 2 officers of the Naval corps. — Nadinka had been with me in the morning — talked a lot and did not cry, very caressing and grateful. She begs you whether she might remain on living in the little house with her poor brother, as they lived there so long with the Parents and their graves are at Tsarskoje. — Perhaps one might for the present at least, don't you think so? Ella wrote and wishes me to give over how much she thinks of you and with what love and constant prayers. I send you a paper of hers wh. read through and find out the truth about it, please — Voyeikov can do that, or still better from your new staff. — I don't need the paper again. —
How one longs to fly away together and forget all — one gets at times so weary — my spirit is good but so disgusted with all one says. I fear Gadon is playing a bad part at Elagin, because one says the conversations there against our Friend are awfull — old Mme Orlov had heard this — she knows ladies who go there. When you see poor Motherdear, you must rather sharply tell her how pained you are, that she listens to slander and does not stop it, as it makes mischief, and others wld. be delighted, I am sure, to put her against me — people are so mean. — How I wish Misha could be a help in that. — Precious one we met some of the Cosacks riding at Pavlovsk and I loved them not only for themselves, but because they had seen and guarded you and been in battle. —
Beloved, I must end. God Almighty bless and protect, guard and guide you now and ever.
I kiss you with endless tenderness and fathomless love, ever yr. very own
Sunny.
Xenia looks better, they told nothing interesting.
So anxious how all went off.
Nicholas's telegram:
Telegram. Stavka. 16 September, 1915.
Thanks for good wishes. The conference passed off well.
I told them my opinion sternly to their faces. I am sorry that I had no time to write. Lovely weather. The news is much better. I love you and kiss you fondly.
NICKY.
Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Maria and Anastasia.
Above: Anna Vyrubova.
Above: Olga.
Notes: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".
en passant = in passing.
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