Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 68 to 70, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
No. 20
Cumberland Lodge, Windsor
May 20th 1894
My own precious Darling,
I am very sorry, but a day will pass without your getting a letter, as the post left early this afternoon and I had no time for writing. This will go to-morrow at 8 a.m.
Think only a month to-day that we are engaged, does that not seem funny? It is quite an old story now and yet I cannot always quite grasp it, the happiness is too great. Well you know I have neither heard from you to-day, it is the Sunday post so probably to-morrow I may get two.
We went to Church this morning, but alas no good service, after that I left and Liko drove me over here with his four in hand, and took Aunt Helena then to Windsor for luncheon. At about 4 Mr. Wennyss arrived — Ernie's and my and Thora's great friend — don't be shocked please, or think me noughty, but he was asked on purpose for me as I greatly wanted to see him and we had a nice chat about Ernie whom he adores. It was the first time he and I were alone for a few minutes. He was a long time with us last summer, then a bit in the winter and was at Coburg for E's Wedding and when we arrived at Darmstadt, we saw him in the street. I wish you knew him, he is so charming, clever and kind and I am happy Ernie has such a real friend.
Don't laugh at me for always speaking about young men, but I want you to know about this one, he would just be one you would like, not cloying like R... The[y], our relations over here, must always grumble and be jealous, and so they are of him, so I have not told anyone he is here. He leaves to-morrow early at 8 as he is going to his poor cousin's funeral, the one I wrote about.
But it is getting on for 11, so I must soon end this epistle, as I want to send Ernie a line still, to tell him I have see[n] his friend and then I must pop into bed.
We looked at the stables here and the garden, during little showers. It was bitterly cold, so that furs were necessary.
I am copy[ing] out more pretty lines of poetry, I shall send them you another time. The Rotodendrons are in full bloom before the house and look glorious in their merry, bright colours.
Oh, how I wish you were here, so quite and nice, no Gefolge, I left the Ladies behind — a real country house where each can do as he likes. No, how dull it will be at Harrogate, only with the two Ladies.
I shall learn all day, that will be an [illegible] occupation at least and I hope I will not be too stupid or slow about it.
Sweetest love, God bless you. Many tender kisses.
I am for ever and ever, yr own truly devoted
Little girly
Alix
I love you, I love you, that's all I can say my Nicky, my love, my own precious Darling, anyone and all, my beloved лаусбубъ
I shall try and write a line to-morrow afternoon.
There — I have had again to tear up the envelope, I am such an old machine, as my only French address is always to Ella, so now I begin yours always as Madame — too idiotic — I am ramolie.
Above: Nicholas and Alix on their engagement day at Coburg, on April 20, 1894.
Notes: Gefolge = entourage.
ramolie = exhausted.
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