Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 308, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Darmstadt
Nov 20th 1893
Душка Ксеніи,
A good kiss and fondest thanks for yr dear letter. It was such a pleasure hearing again from you. Yes, do continue writing to me, don't let what I am going to tell you put a stop to our friendship and correspondence. My photo and a letter I have sent through Ella to Nicky. In it he will see that I cannot change my decision — I cannot because untrue to my own confession, do not believe that my love is less, why that has made it so far more hard and difficult to me and I have been torturing myself. To hurt one whom one loves is fearful, and yet, I don't want him to go on hoping as I can never change my Religion. God bless the dear, and may he not think ill of his old Pelly.
I feel too upset to write any more.
Yr old
Alix
Let me hear sometimes from you, may I? Don't let us quite drift apart, that would be too hard.
Above: Alix.
Above: Xenia.
Note: "Душка Ксеніи" = "Darling Xenia".
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