Alix's letter to Nicholas, written May 12 (New Style), 1894

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 41 to 42, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter:

No 12

Windsor Castle

May 12th 1894

Моя милый, дорогой Ники,

Many a tender kiss, very fondest thanks for yr dear and touching letter the servant this minute brought me, моя душка, I always feel quite another creature after having heard from you and everything seems nicer then. Granny was also so happy with yr letter yesterday and is so glad you write such good English — you must not mind if my spelling is sometimes impossible, but suddenly it happens that I can scarcely write a word properly. What pretty vases you sent me again this time. I am glad you like mine. How nice being received by all the soldiers, their telegram, the officers', touched me deeply. Of course I love to hear about yr regiment as I am so fond of soldiers, I always was, and now yours will be especially interesting to me. Tell me all you have got to do, I would like to know, if it does not bore you.

Next week we are going to a parade at Aldershot under Uncle Arthur's command — I am most anxious to see an English parade, as hitherto I have never had the occasion of seeing one.

This morning we rode and it was charming, I rested afterwards and had my wee doggie lying next to me in bed, it is so frightened still, but I hope it will get accustomed to me. Toria's books have come and I have begun to read in them about yr Religion. Oh, sweety [page ripped] were but here, instead of [page ripped] so far away. But your letters are a comfort and I am always so greedy for them, read them over and over again — you write so well, my own precious Sweety — and I am sure you must often be tired when you come home from your exercising, so it is especially touching of you to write to the old girl.

The sun is shining warmly but there is a great wind and we were nearly blown off our steeds this morning. The Park looked too lovely, oh, how I long to have you cantering by my side "Lord, for to-morrow and its needs I do not pray, Keep me, my God, from stain of sin, just for to-day. Let me both diligently work and duly pray; Let me be kind in word and deed, just for to-day. Let me be slow to do my will, prompt to obey; Help me to sacrifice myself just for to-day. Let me no wrong or idle word unthinking say; set thou a seal upon my lips, just for to-day."

"A faithful friend is a strong defence, and he that has found a real one, hath found a treasure. Nothing doth countervail a faithful friend, and his excellency is unvaluable." Oh, my Nicky sweet, what an unending treasure I have found in your love, could I but also fully make you understand the strength of mine, I cannot write any more now, but I shall begin a letter to-night again. God bless you. A good kiss. Ever yr own truly loving little

Alix

Above: Nicholas and Alix.

Notes: "Моя милый, дорогой Ники" = "My sweet, dear Nicky".

"моя душка" = "my darling".