Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 72 to 73, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Мая 9/21 1894. Гатчина.
№ 19.
My own sweet precious darling,
I must begin this letter by sending you my very fondest thanks and kisses for your dear № 18. I am sure the review at Aldershot must have been a fine one — and the cavalry & horse-artillery, steeds such beautiful animals! I am afraid our small cossack-horses shall seem poor & miserable to you after those english ones, though our dragoons & especially the guards are also well mounted! What a lucky thing the horses did not run away, leaving you & the carriage behind, when the pole broke. — Oh! sweety-dear, why do they want me? I am coming to England only for you, my darling, I don't want to be separated fr. you, every hour near you is worth treasures to me! If we are allowed to go together — that is a different thing — I should be even very pleased of seing english troops in the field — but being invited to go alone — no, no, no! nothing would induce me. You had better prepare them for my negative answers, my own darling, though I don't care refusing plainly when the occasion comes. — We had also a review here in Gatchina, in the large court of the palace. Of course it was much smaller than the one you witnessed at Aldershot, as there was only one regiment — Mama's cuirassiers — white & blue — with the gold "pigeons" as Paul's on the helmet. It is their holiday — the Saint Nicholas's — they paraded very well — on foot, as there was the usual short service before the march-past. We went to their barracks, passed through the hospital & then saw the men getting their food; they always receive many good things to eat & are allowed to drink much more than on common days! I can hear them sing now in their garden — ach! how I love the songs of the soldiers! You will like it also, I am quite sure, sweet one! Coming home after tiring exercises or while marching — the songs make the forces come back & really revives one — they go in turns with the flutes & drums! By a sort of tradition there are regiments who are famous for their singing. You must not think they are sung by the church-singers, as those you 2) saw at Coburg!!! Excuse all this my own precious one, for having bored you with all these uninteresting details, but sometimes I cannot help speaking about things I am attached to. — This evening at 8. o'clock Mama left for Abastouman; the first couple greets you kindly. Now I am quite lonely in my rooms, as Sandro has left — and Papa's rooms come after Mama's, that are next to mine, round the corner.
It just struck 12 — midnight — the hour for ghosts to appear! So good-night, my one & all, my good little girly-dear. Every blessing upon you, my darling, & dream a bit of yr. faithful old cow! Night, night! —
May 10/22. Good morning my own darling little girly-dear! I awoke at 8 intending to go out riding but on hearing the rain coming down in torrents, I simply turned over & went to sleep again. It is pouring till now — I suppose it must be your weather that came over to us! I am getting impatient as in an hour a letter I long for every day, must arrive to keep me up for the rest of the day! Enough for the moment; what a kind letter Granny's last one was! Good-bye sweetest little Alixy-dear - God bless & help you in all your doings! my love. +
Ever yr. truly & deeply loving Nicky
A fond & tender kiss O.
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
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