Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 96 to 97, by George Hawkins, 2023
https://disk.yandex.com/mail?hash=Pr3%2B9BqSbVsjjgV6xvio2QYWT4c8a9OyIUIZXJLFUpg%3D%3A
George Hawkins at Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook
The letter:
May 17/29. 1894. Красное Село.
N 27.
My own precious darling Alix,
As apparently no letter from you will come today, I sit down and take a new pen (the one I had yesterday was horrid) and begin writing to you. The weather is simply atrocious, it is cold, windy and rainy, quite a dirty weather. I have nothing to do because the men could not work as the soil is slimy and there is water everywhere! But I read in the morning and received a gentleman, one of our secretaries in London, a great friend of aunt Marie's. His name is Boutinoff, he came here for a month's leave, straight fr. England and he told me he had seen you at a drawing room in March. He is the first person whom I was eager to hear from about my darling, but he had unluckily nothing particular to speak about. He had even a glimpse of a smile about the corners of his mouth — the impudent man — seeing how eager I was! Ist das aber ein Grobian? I rejoiced calmly looking through the window at his departure, the rain coming down in torrents and he doubling himself up trying to get into the carriage with two boxes under the arm — for arranging his toilet I suppose.
Yes! the camp is of no good to civilians and especially in such weather. It is still quiet in my little house, it helps me to think of my own sweet little girly-dear, it is quite calm as if I were writing in the night, what one ought not to do, but is so nice though!
After luncheon I read the papers and looked through different illustrations, the french ones are sometimes too bad, but nevertheless you can't keep from laughing out loud if even you are alone! I should very much like to know why the english papers got suddenly so interested in my coming to their country? They call a 'visit' those fools! I read it yesterday in the Pall Mall and there also it was put about you that you had left Cumberland Lodge for Harrogate for a fortnightly cure! I think it too bad of those reporters coming there and asking such stupid questions. But i was sure that would happen; in our days names incognito are hopeless and of no use; before you have started on a journey people know already everything about it!
I took a walk just now, my dog and I, we came home ¾ of an hour later looking like pigs, with lumps of dirt up to the knees. My face was as red and as wet as a juicy beefsteak and my hands like muttonchops — not quite underdone! That reminded again of my girly-darling, when you and Ella came back from the Rosenau on the eve of the great day!
What a memory the child has got! Of course you are quite right, that poor old general who lost his wife lately was certainly your neighbour at balls and suppers, rather deaf, and his brother is the admiral, who is still older than he!
We have had our dinner at 8. They made me speak about my journey, namely about China and Japan. I don't like when many people are listening to me, I don't know, I always feel uncomfortable at the idea that they might think I liked to play the part of a sort of explorer of the world. How many hundreds of ladies have been quite round the globe nowadays, there is really nothing to boast of!
After that I played the piano and thought the whole time of you, my own love. Then I sat down a while, eating a basket of strawberries, read all your sweet delightful letters through, I have already got a real literature of those treasures. If you knew what they are to me when I have not got my own little girl by my side! Oh! may God bless you, my beloved precious Alix, for this happiness, which his His greatest gift to a man! I love you more every day, my gentle Sweetheart! With tender kisses, my precious love, my own Darling, my pet, I remain ever and for ever yr. most loving, faithful and devoted
Nicky
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Note: "Ist das aber ein Grobian?" = "Isn't he a ruffian?"
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