Thursday, November 12, 2020

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated January 27, 1915

Source:

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=97

The letter:

No. 40
Tsarskoje Selo, Jan. 27-th 1915
My own beloved Nicky,
I just received yr. wire from Kiev, am sure it is a tiring day you are having. — How disgusting the Breslau having shelled Jalta — only out of spite — thank God no victims. I am sure you will long to fly off by motor to see the damage done. — The fighting is strong again at the front & heavy losses on all sides; — these dum-dums are infernal! —

I saw Betsy Shuvalov, who is arranging a front detachment for Galicia, — she is still full of your visit to her hospital & the joy it brought to all hearts. —

We had an operation this morning — rather long but went off well. — Ania gets on alright tho' her right leg aches, but the temp. is nearly normal in the evening. Only speaks again of getting into her house. I foresee my life then! Yesterday evening I went as an exception to her, & so, as to sit with the officers a tiny bit afterwards, as I never have a chance. — She is full of how thin she has grown, tho' I find her stomach & legs colossal (& most unapetising) — her face is rosy, but the cheeks less fat & shades under her eyes. She has lots of guests; but dear me — how far away she has sliped from me since her hideous behaviour, especially autumn, winter, spring of 1914 — things can never be the same to me again — she broke that intimate link gently during the last four years — cannot be at my ease with her as before — tho' she says she loves me so, I know its much less than before & all is consecrated in her own self — & you. Let us be careful when you return. How I wish one could sink that odious little Breslau! —

The weather continues being glorious. Baby is daily better, lunched with us & will come down to tea, now he has a French lesson, so I came down again. —

Two more of my Siberians arrived, nice officers. — Have no answer fr. Martinov. — Give my love to N. P. Ania got his wire fr. the Stavka but dawdled about answering. Shall give her over yr. love. Girls have a committee this evening. — I slept 3 hours from after 4½ till 7½ this night, so tiresome I cannot get to sleep early. —

Must end now, Treasure, my Sunshine, my Life, my Love — I kiss & bless you. —
Ever yr. very own
Sunny.

Baby wishes us to come up to tea.

Think of me at Sebastopol & all known places. —

Feel Jalta will tempt you — don't mind on our account being a day late. —


Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

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