Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated April 28, 1914

Alexandra wrote this letter to Nicholas on April 28, 1914.

Sources:

A Lifelong Passion, letters and diary entries compiled by Andrei Maylunas and Sergei Mironenko

https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letterstsaritsa/april14.html

The letter:

My sweetest treasure, my very Own one,
You will read these lines when you get into your bed in a strange place and unknown house. God grant that the journey may be a pleasant and interesting one, and not too tiring nor too dusty. I am so glad to have the map, as then can follow you hourly. I shall miss you horribly, but I am glad for you that you will be away for 2 days and get new impressions and hear nothing of Ania's stories.

My heart is heavy and sore — must one's kindness and love always be repaid thus? The black family, and now she?

One is always told one can never love enough — here we gave our hearts, our home to her, our private life even — and this is what we have gained! It is difficult not to become bitter — it seems so cruelly unjust.

... cannot get accustomed for ever so short, not to have you in the house, tho' I have our 5 treasures. Well my Sunshine, my own precious One & thousand tender kisses from your own old Wify. God bless and keep you.

The letter in full (I have fixed the date typo):

No. 1.

Livadia, April 28-th, 1914

My sweetest treasure, my very Own one,

You will read these lines when you get into your bed in a strange place & unknown house. God grant that the journey may be a pleasant & interesting one, & not too tiring nor too dusty. I am so glad to have the map, as then can follow you hourly. I shall miss you horribly, but I am glad for you that you will be away for 2 days & get new impressions & hear nothing of Anias stories. My heart is heavy & sore — must one's kindness & love always be repayed thus? The black family & now she? One is always told one can never love enough — here we gave our hearts our home to her, our private life even — & this is what we have gained! It is difficult not to become bitter — it seems so cruelly unjust. —

May God have mercy & help us, the heart is so heavy! I am in despair that she gives you worries & disagreeable conversations, no rest for you either. Well try & forget all these two days. I bless you & cross you & hold you tightly in my arms — kiss you all over with boundless love & devotion. I shall be in Church to-morrow morning at 9 & try to go again on Thursday — it does me good to pray for you when we are separated cannot get accustomed, for ever so short, not to have you in the house, tho' I have our 5 treasures. —

Sleep well my Sunshine, my own precious one & thousand tender kisses fr. yr. own old

Wify.

God bless & keep you.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra with their children.

Above: Alexandra with Anna Vyrubova.