Alexandra wrote this letter to Nicholas on September 20, 1914. Nicholas replied with two telegrams the next day.
Sources:
The letter:
My own beloved One,
I am resting in bed before dinner, the girls have gone to church and Baby is finishing his dinner. He has only slight pains sometimes.
I am resting in bed before dinner, the girls have gone to church and Baby is finishing his dinner. He has only slight pains sometimes.
Oh my! — It was hard bidding you goodbye and seeing that lonely, pale face love with big sad eyes at the waggon window — my heart cried out, take me with you. If only you had had N. P. S. or Mordv I. with you, a young loving face near you, you would be less lonely and "feel warmer". I came home and then broke down, prayed — then lay down and smoked to get myself into order. When eyes looked more decent I went up to Alexei and lay for a time near him on the sopha in the dark rest did good, as I was tired out in every sense.
At 4¼ I came down to see Lazarev and gave him over the little Image for the regiment — I did not say it was fr. you, as then you would have to give to all the other newly formed regiments. The girls worked in the stores. At 4½ Tatiana and I received Neidhardt about her committee — the first will be in the Winter Palace on Wednesday after a Te Deum, I shall again not assist. It is a comfort to set the girls working alone and that they will be known more and learn to be useful.
During tea I read reports and then got a letter at last from Victoria, dated the 1/13 Sep. it has taken long coming by messenger. I copy out what I think may interest you: "We have gone through anxious days during the long retreat of the allied armies in France. Quite between ourselves (so lovy don't tell on better) the French at first left the English army to bear all the brunt of the heavy German out flanking attack alone, and if the English troops had been less dogged, not only they but the whole French forces would have been crumpled up. This has now been set right and two French generals who were to blame in the matter have been deposed by Joffre and replaced by others. One of them had 6 notes from the English Com. in chief French, unopened in his pocket — kept sending as answer to an appeal to come on and help, that his horses were too tired. That is past history however, but it has cost the lives and liberty of many good officers and men. Luckily it was kept dark and people here in general don't know about it."
The 500,000 recruits asked for are nearly complete and hard at work drilling all day long masses of gentlemen joined the ranks and set a good example. There is a talk of raising a further 500,000 including the contingency from the colonies. I am not sure I like the Idea of Indian troops coming to fight in Europe, but they are picked regiments and when served in China and in Egypt kept perfect discipline so that those who ought to know best are confident they will behave perfectly well no looting or massacring. The superior officers are all English. Ernie's friend the Maharagah of Biskanir is coming with his own contingent — last time I saw him was as Ernie's guest at Wolfsgarten. —
Georgie wrote us an account of his share in the naval action of Helgoland. He commands the fore-turret and fired quite a number of shots and his captain says with coolness and good judgement. S. says that the attempt to destroying the docks of the Kiel Canal (the bridges alone would be little good) by aeroplanes is always in the admiralty's mind — but it is very difficult as all is well defended and one has to wait for a favorable opportunity or the attempt has no chance of success. It is distressing that the only passage into the Baltic for men-of-war, wh. is at all possible of being used, is through the Sound, wh. is not deep enough for battleships or big cruisers. In the North Sea the Germans have strewn mines far out all over the place, recklessly endangering neutral trading ships and now that the first strong autumn winds are blowing, they will drift (for they are not anchored) on the Dutch and Norwegian and Danish shores (some round the German, one must hope).
She sends much love. — The sun shone so brightly this afternoon — but not in my room — tea was sad and strange and the armchair looked mournful without my precious One in it. —
Marie and Dmitri dine, so I will stop writing and shut my eyes a little — and finish tonight. — Marie and Dmitri were in good spirits, they left at 10 so as to go to Paul. Baby was restless and only got to sleep after 11 but no strong pain. The girls went to bed, and I to surprise Ania who lay on her sopha in the big palace — she has now obliteration of veins, so Princess Gedroytz had been again to her and told her to keep quiet a few days — she had been by motor to town to see our friend and that had tired her leg. I returned at 11 and went to bed.
My face is tied up, as the teeth, jaw ache a bit; the eyes are sore and swollen still, and the heart yearns after the dearest being on earth who belongs to old Sunny. — Our Friend is happy for your sake that you have gone and was so glad to have seen you yesterday. He always fears Bonheur, that is to say, the crows want him to get the P. throne or in Galicia that is their aim but I said she should quieten him, even out of thanks you would never risk such a thing. Gr. loves you jealously and can't hear N. playing a part. — Xenia answered my wire — is sad not to have seen you before you left her train arrived. I miscalculated, Schulenburg cannot be here before to-morrow afternoon or evening, so I shall only get up for Church, a little later too. —
Nicholas's telegram replies:
Both dated September 21.
Sincere thanks for dear letter. Hope you slept and feel well. Rainy, cold weather. In thought and prayer I am with you and the children. How is the little one? Tender kisses for all. Nicky.
...
Praise be to God, who granted us yesterday the victory at Souvalky and Mariampol. I have arrived safely. A thanksgiving Te Deum has only just been sung in the local military church. Have received your telegram; am feeling splendid. I hope all are well. Embrace you closely. Nicky.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
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