Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, year 1909

Alexandra wrote this letter to Nicholas on June 24, 1909.

Source:

A Lifelong Passion, letters and diary entries compiled by Andrei Maylunas and Sergei Mironenko

The letter:

My own precious one,
You will read these lines when the train will already be carrying you far away from Wify and children. It is very hard letting you go all alone — the first journey in the country since all the troubles — but I know you are safe in God's hands.

May all go off well and not be too tiring — your heart will rejoice to see all the troops on that memorable battlefield. All Wify's prayers and thoughts will surround you, my own beloved Huzy dear. I shall carefully look after your little ones and Baby Sweet, knowing how much it costs you to leave him behind — and how he will miss his sweet father — and who won't?! All will awfully.

You will think of me tonight. We confess after 9 at Ania's parents' house and take Holy Communion tomorrow morning. We shall go to vigil tonight, then from the station we shall go to the Lancer's church so as to have had services before that great moment for which I am so little prepared. It will be a great comfort in our separation, but I feel so unworthy of that blessing, so unready for it — one never is enough prepared.

From all my heart, Sweetie One, do I pray for your forgiveness if in any way I hurt or displeased you — you know it never has been intentionally done — I love you far too much for that.

Our love is so one with our life — we are so completely united, that one never can doubt one's life and unity — nothing can come between us or lessen it, however big Wify's heart is. Her Huzy stands first, dearest, nearest, holiest and best in her heart — you don't know what you are, my love, my very own.

Nobody has such a husband, so pure and unselfish, trusting and kind — never a word of rebuke if I am naughty, always serene, no matter what battle may be going on inside. God bless you over and over again for all your love and everything and may He richly reward you for all. It is so, so difficult to part. We have so rarely been separated — but souls and hearts are yet together. I shall wire daily.

Goodbye my treasure, I bless and kiss you over and over again and hold you tight in my arms. Forever and ever your very own true old,
Wify.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.