Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, 1909

Alexandra wrote this letter to Nicholas on October 6, 1909.

Source:

A Lifelong Passion, letters and diary entries compiled by Andrei Maylunas and Sergei Mironenko

The letter:

My own sweet precious One,
It is with a heavy heart I let you go on this long and lonely journey — nobody young and cheery to keep you company — have our own little Ones to keep my lonely heart warm. But you know and feel Wify's presence ever near you, tenderly by your side — prayers and love around you. My heart aches so these days from the sorrow of parting — I try not to break down, but there are moments when all tears inside. It's silly being so, but I cannot help — we are so rarely separated and when one feels ill, all seems harder to bear and the loneliness gets greater.

I am glad you begin at least with the Standart being with all those nice people will cheer you up and I hope you will go to the Mess and play dominoes with them. I dread the moment of goodbye and yet I want to come with you to the last, I hope God will give me strength to behave well, formerly I could always master myself, now I have less strength to and it's my despair. Sweet Treasure mine, my Huzy, dearly beloved One, God bless and keep you. Gr[igory's] prayers watch over you on your journey, into His keeping I give you over. I shall give you daily news.

Baby announced that he would write to you when you were away; how you will miss the little man, and he you. In 6 hours you will be gone, and I shall watch our beauty passing by, as the fleet just now did. If you have a moment's time you will scrawl me a word from Odessa, won't you, lovy mine. I only hope you will have nice weather and no nasty fog nor thunderstorm on the way and that the sea will be calm. I shall try hard to get better for your return, so as to be able to accompany you at least by motor sometimes. Sweetheart goodbye and God bless you. I kiss you over and over again every tenderly beloved spot — how I shall miss my Love! Your own, very own little
Wify Sunny.

It is so hard to let you go — me not like it. Goodbye, keep well and God grant us a happy, speedy meeting again.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria and Anastasia.

Above: Alexei.