Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 133 to 134, by George Hawkins, 2023
May 26/June 7 1894. Krasnoe Selo.
№ 36.
My precious darling Alix,
Fondest thanks & tender kisses for your dear letter. It arrived here while I was at Gatchina, so I had it sent me over there & it came just before I was leaving. I quickly read it through, kissed my darling in my thoughts & drove off; I could not have gone away without opening the envelope — it would have burnt through my pocket! Don't you think — so, sweety-mine? Of course, those verses I copied on the card & sent you — where your's — you have written them with many other lovely ones — on that never to be forgotten Easter-night! It is sad to think that we have not spent either of our birthdays together! But "patience" again, that great quality must become our second nature — soon, let us hope, diviner days shall come.
This morning we went to church — the singing was lovely as usual — wh. helped my praying for darling "primrosy's" welfare & happiness — I felt relieved after service I assure you. I see my girly-dear agrees with me in that! — The day was very warm, but dark clowds were gathering about. We four started for a drive in a линейка (can you read that) & when we were far away in the middle of a wood — it began to pour so vehemently that we got drenched in five minutes. But the sun came out soon after & yet did not dry us! I have been packing my things because after-tomorrow Papa leaves for Peterhof — & I must have an establishment of my own there at that dear sweet little house by the sea-side, wh. is going to be ours someday & that you have never seen by the by! And fr. there I am going to leave tomorrow in a week I hope. No, that joy, that pleasure, that inexpressible delight of seeing you again — my beloved darling!
Don't answer this letter, sweet love, because I would be gone before it arrived — fancy our having lived up already to this moment!!!!! Ha! ha! then I can catch you up with the №'s of my letters — because I shall go on writing till the last day! Excuse this letter being written so atrociously, but my hand is shaking — probably from the drive just now! — Tomorrow at 12 the other battalions come over fr. town — it shall be fun & gay to see all one's comrades again! They bring the band with them wh. is a great luck! — Oh! I forgot to tell you, that yesterday Misha & Olga told me I was to congratulate you on yr. dear birthday - wh. I do only rather too late! —
2) Be happy, my love, I don't trouble you with a long letter, but it is getting late & I shall have to get up early tomorrow! — Do give many kind messages to Schneiderlein & Gretchen; don't forget Madelaine either! Now I must begin to finish my letter! So then good-bye, my own sweetest of sweet girly's in the world! My prayers & blessings follow you every moment, & myself, I only live upon my love for you — my own precious dearest Alix. Good-night, my beloved little bride, sleep well! Your affianced husband kisses you so many times — fondly! God bless you + "primrosy" darling!
Ever yr. deeply loving & devoted Ники.
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
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