Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 130 to 132, by George Hawkins, 2023
George Hawkins at Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook
Nicholas's letter of the same day:
Alix's letter of June 7 to her brother Ernst:
The letter:
No 38
Harrogate
June 6th 1894
My own beloved Darling,
It is late, the others have all gone to bed and I am all alone in the sitting room with one candle burning, and the beautiful moon shedding her silver light. But I must write to you. I could not go to sleep without a little talk to you. Oh my Nicky sweet, how can I thank you enough for having given me that magnificent bracelet — it really is much too good for me, but never the less I wore it as a brooch to-day.
I received many charming presents, from Ernie and Ducky a lovely parasole, fr. Granny a tea basket, fr. Irène a little oil picture of dear Papa's sitting room, fr. Victoria a work bag, silver spoon for tea and two delightful frames for your photos, fr. Schneiderlein one too. I received photos of my beloved horse, not a bit really mine, but all the same one I usually ride and H. v. Riedesel won't let any one else get on. From Toria and Maud a sweet four leaved clover brooch. Then lots of flowers from Gretchen — and from Ernie and amiable Ladies here (Seibert peeped in highly astonished to see me in dressing gown and shawl) and a box with a mass of glorious roses from I don't know whom. The room looks like a garden and smells delicious. I adore flowers. A girl who runs after me in Darmstadt even sent me flowers from home wh touched me deeply. Then from the photographers at D., your head out of the group taken there, enlarged — it is a delightful one and is standing now before me and has got a mischievous look.
Then a person sent me a little drawing a Lady had done of dear Mama from a photograph and wh belonged to this old woman who was poor, so I gave her something, it is charming. How every one did love and honour Mama. For her sweet sake they all take such an interest in me. Fancy the town was even flagged and a large crowd assembled to see us off driving, and had to wait two hours till we were back, as we came home late, and they tore along up to the house. The police could not keep them back. Victoria who arrived last night and I went in two bicycle bathchairs to Knareborough, there we got out and walked through filthy but pretty road to the dropping well. If you put in any object, after a few months it becomes petrified, the [illegible] we did not go to as the walk had hurt my legs excessively. We drove on to St Roberts Cave wh was interesting, but it would be too long to tell you about this all now, when I show you the photos and if it interests you, then more. To the wells for my glass, the people swarmed again, one does feel so shy and foolish being gaped at, as tho' one were some wild animal broken loose from the zoo.
I got such a sweet telegram from your dear Papa wh touched me deeply and many other kind ones from yr Regiment and all our Regiments. I sat answering these for I don't know how long, and all alone, no darling Nicky to help me. Oh, how I missed you! Think, the first Birthday in my life without Orchie, she wrote so sad, poor dear! She is in Kiel looking after Irène's little boy, whose Nurse has gone on leave.
The weather was warm and often sunny, most kind. Let me kiss you now and thank you most heartily for your dear, long letter No. 31, wh has delighted me excessively. So, you think I have nothing to find in your eyes — well there you are greatly mistaken, as worlds are in them, so deep and true and large and sweet. I could gaze at them for ever! You just shut up about the Owl's, do you hear, you good for nothing creature? No, I'll be good and not catch cold if I can help it. Oh, how I envy you your ride, but what an old sinner you are, to make your poor comrades tare like that when they are not accustomed to it!
How nice that Toria has sent you the music to "Wait, Strive and Pray", but I fear I shall not be able to sing it, I have not sung a note for ever so long and I should be frightened before you. But you might bring some Russian songs, we can at least play them. Oh, and what a nice, long letter yours is, such a joy, I devour it and then begin all over again, never enough.
Deary, I spoke to the Dr. to-day [a]nd he allows me to leave on the 20th of June, so that day we meet at Walton, God grant, as I hear through Victoria, [illegible] said you arrive that day. She advises you to send your gentlemen to London, as Gravesend is so ghastly dull and they would be much better at the Russian embassy.
I must write it to Granny still, she still cannot get over my going so far away, poor dear, kind soul. I also dread the moment when I shall have to say Goodbye to her, as who knows whether I may ever meet her on earth again — everything is so uncertain and she is no longer young, it wld be too awful!
I am quite excited when I think of our meeting, if only nothing comes between gain, it is never good to make plans too long beforehand. But then, no letters during your voyage, oh dear oh dear, that will be hard. To see you again and kiss you my own love, what bliss, but i can't help adoring you as I do, my sweet angel, my precious Darling. God bless you now and ever. How I am chattering away again instead of going to bed, but my legs are needing their rest, I must be off and as at 8 my first glass is going to be brought to me already. No, how I have missed Ernie and home, how I should have wished to have been at Darmstadt for my last Birthday before that great change in life. Oh Nicky, never cease to love me. I want love, and all mine you shall have in return. Sweet one, I must flie off now, crawl would be the more correct word with my old lame legs. Many tender kisses and prayers for your happiness. Sleep well душки! Боже, тебя храни!
June 7th — Good morning sweet love. Windy but sunny, if it only would settle down fine now. I heard from Ernie this morning and he sends you much love. From him it is I have got the large photo of you. Dear Boy, such a kind thought. My legs ache much to-day and my toes are swollen and I can scarcely take a step in my shoes — vile — I swear like you Donnerwetter! Well, perhaps my bath this morning will make them better. But that glass of water I got in bed was too vile. The others will be coming to breakfast, sweet love, so I must say goodbye. Many a tender kiss and blessing do I send you, my adored Boy. Ever yr own deeply loving old
Alix
The room is too lovely with all the flowers. I wish I knew from where they came. A person has sent me a book and one for you too. Now tata lovy. Bless you again. I am greedy for this morning's post.
Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of TatianaZ on Flickr.
Above: St. Robert's Cave in Knaresborough, England. Photo courtesy of Rosser1954 on Wikimedia Commons.
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