Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 127 to 128, by George Hawkins, 2023
Мая 24го/Июня 5го 1894. Красное Село.
N 34.
My own sweet Darling,
Many tender kisses & fondest thanks for your letter, that was lying on my table waiting for me, as I had been in town for a few hours. I lunched there at the Leuchtenberg's — Eugènes & Zina's house (the one who fährt mit dem Schwarz) and after I went to the photographer. Now, you must not laugh at me, my old owl, & think that I try to copy Ella in that! No, but I really was forced to do that for the cossack regiments who want to have me with a beard. So silly & most frightfully tiresome. But at least I seized the occasion of making quite small photos — special for my own Darling!
Sweety, your russian touches me deeper, than I can even say — if you want I can show you the few faults you have made — only don't think me too severe a judge. Well! now the lesson begins. You wrote a sweet thing: ты моего любимец — the second word ought to be — мой — because — моего — means of mine. Excuse me, darling, only I don't know — it is so difficult to explain in writing! Then there follow two phrases perfectly well written, especially as you were composing alone! Аликс, о будь как ты любима мною (by me). And you wrote любит (loves) instead of be loved — любится. The last long sentence is beautifully put in — so many thanks, you sweet little girly, for taking that trouble of writing me in russian. — My officers want me now, so I must leave you, dearest Alix, because they have decided to drink to your health & so I must go. Now you shall see whether I am fit to continue a letter after; the task may be a difficult one, but I'll have to do it, knowing that tomorrow is my own darling's dear birthday.
May 25/June 6. Blessed be this day now & forever! Oh! My darling love, you may guess, what I feel today & what I would have said in my letter, if I knew how to express my wishes & feelings properly. — I could not finish it last evening, as I came home late & was tired. The officers were very gay; my first captain Poretzki stood up & made a charming little speech, which ended by deafening cheers — all for my sweety's health! Oh! tho' nice! Then there was a supper — the first time that I have supped since our engagement! The soldiers were sent for and they sung all my favourite songs — wh. made me think so much of you, my Alixy-dear. Just now all the officers came to me in full uniform & the men also; they stood in front of my house & when I came out — the soldiers congratulated me in a chorus — wh. touched me greatly. I have just seen the telegram the officers have despatched off to you. Poor little dear — the last bits of your incognito shall vanish, but I think I shall go on writing to my beloved Baroness S. — I leave directly for Gatchina, as I have not seen Papa for two days. —
I hope Madelaine has not forgotten my commission & gave you the little birthday-present.
Now I must end this scribble! — Oh! my love, how I long for you, today still more than ever — could I only clasp you & press you to my heart. I pray to God — that the year you have come into, should be one of utter happiness & eternal sunshine for you!
Good-bye, my primrosy. With [a] thousand blessings, kisses, wishes & tenderest love, my own sweet one, ever & ever your deeply loving, true & devoted Nicky
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
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