Alix's letter to her brother Ernst, dated June 7, 1894

Alix wrote the following letter to her brother, Grand Duke Ernst of Hesse, on June 7, 1894 during her stay at the spa town of Harrogate.

Source (what I have):

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https://mashkaromanova.tumblr.com/post/185426487455/crop-of-princess-alix-sunny-of-hesse-1894

The letter:

My own darling Ernie dear,
A good kiss & blessing for your dear letter, which made me so happy, & for the photo of my darling Nicky, which you were an angel to have enlarged for me. It is an excellent one, & the expression so nice & natural. Really, darling, that beautiful parasole is much too good for me, you spoil me always with your presents. I took it out with me of course yesterday morning, but did not open it, it was so beautifully rolled up. No, it is too sweet & that splendid saphire on the top, I feel I must hide it with my hand & not let any one see it, & yet I am so proud of it, I want all to see it. —

But how I missed you, sweet One, is not to be described. Oh, I missed you sadly, but felt yr thoughts were at least with yr Sunny. It was a great joy having at least Victoria here, as I should have felt too miserable without one relation on my last birthday as a young girl. — Poor Orchie, she had never been away from me on the day before, & I think she felt rather low, from her letter. — But the weather was amiable & fine, after four days incessant rain. To-day it is also beautiful — really we deserve it after all this time. —

Grandmama gave me a delightful teabasket for four. Victoria gave me frames for photos of Nicky & a workbag & silver spoon to put the tea leaves in, like the egg I gave you last year at the Wolfsgarten. — Nicky gave me a magnificent bracelet in diamonds with a clasp of diamonds & two rubies, to be worn & a brooch too. — The cake with the pink roses was a great success, & reminded me so of home, — & all the flowers to decorate the table. —

I got a box sent me from I don't know whom from London with glorious roses — the room is full of flowers now & smells gloriously. I am so happy as I adore flowers so, & in thoughts I bless the kind angel who sent them — if I could only find out who it was — Irene sent me a little picture in oils of dear Papa's sitting room, which I am delighted to have. —

Then some amiable Ladies sent me glorious flowers, & one a little book written by her brother, & so on, kind little attentions & great crowds running to see us go out driving & the town flagged — most touching — oh, & they had to wait so long, as we came home much later than usual. — A pencil drawing by a lady (now dead) had done of Mama was sent me by a poor old servant, so I accepted & gave some money as an Unterstützung. — I was enchanted with photos of Fatinitza & the two little Jucker, Winky sent me; so nice. —

Victoria & I went for a delightful drive in our two tricycle bathchairs, & looked at a dropping well — if you put in anything, it turns to stone in a few months. — We had to walk a bit, & the consequence is more pain, so it is no good, I must not do it again; — I drink now to glasses a day, vile — one gets brought me at 8 in the morning, like hot salt water, loathsome — then at 11 I go in my bathchair & drink it at the wells, & the crowd gazes to see it run down my throat, very vulgar of them, & then to view me get into my chair bundled up — enshying as Irene would say. —

I am glad you are at last at Auerbach, & I hope you will enjoy your stay there & the neighbourhood of Schönberg. Give dear Marie my love when you see her, & tell her how often my thoughts run back to last year, & I see us sitting in Alexi's room burning & painting away as tho' to earn our daily bread. — And your hey cocks — I can imagine the length of Mino's face when you returned after midnight, you 3 mad hatters, what will you be up to next? —

I feel for you when the time of yr visite to Mainz comes. I hear the town is already being gradually decorated — I fear it will not be quite easy for you the whole thing, but I am sure it will be a fine sight. — I may leave here on the 20th of June, wh. day U want to go to Walton & meet Nicky there, who would be arriving that day at Gravesend in his Father's yatch, & would go straight on to Walton. About four days we should be there and then go to Windsor.

Grandmama would be too disappointed if I did not remain with her till she goes to Osborne, about the 15th of July, but one cannot settle it quite. She is still upset I am going so far away, & grumbles at us in each letter, poor dear. — I must say I too dread the moment when I shall have to say goodbye to her, as who knows when we shall ever meet again — she is no longer young, poor darling Grandmama. —

I am going to be good & do all Dr. Oliver says, so as to be as well as possible when I at last shall be home, at beloved Wolfsgarten, the dearest place on earth, & yet where I miss beloved Papa the most. — I heard from Nicky, he sends you his fondest love; — we hear from each other daily. — Will you thank Ducky & Mino for dear letters & presents — how charming she worked the basket. I shall write to them to-morrow, I cannot write much at a time on the sopha, it is too tiring, & I must be off to my water. —

So Goodbye & God bless you, my own beloved Ernie dear. Many tender kisses, Ever yr own loving old Sister Sunny. —

P. S. Zwilling sent me a touching telegram — he is always so kind to me, it nearly makes me cry. Oh, how I thank God you have got such a true friend, who I think would do anything for you. — By the by, Irene asked in a humble way, whether she might venture to come to Wolfsgarten about the 20th of July. — Toddie would be away at a bath, Harry away, & she all alone, & I know it is a sehnliche Wunsch of hers to come to the Wolfsgarten. You know she has never lived there since she married. — Won't you or Ducky write & ask her, I can't now; it must come from you. —

Aunt Helena of course begged for you to invite Thora whilst she is at Nauheim — Thora got quite red, as she I know hates inviting himself, but I know she is dying to come for one night, only is afraid Ducky might not care to have her. If she is not in your way —mind you don't do it for my sake — then one of you will and ask her, & perhaps you could put in a word to her & Christie about their present which you never thanked them for personally. —

Louie is in C. Lodge you know. Well, if she asks, should I not better say there is no room, or I don't know whom you have invited, & that she must write to Ducky, & then she can answer how sorry you are there is no place, because I am sure it would not be good for her to come. — Poor Thora is mad about L.'s behaviour towards Zwilling; — I wish she would go back to Aribert, those seperations I am sure are bad for her. — The amount of telegrams I got yesterday was appalling, just now one came from Aunt Minny from Abastouman. —

To-day a year ago poor Sahl came to us from Kranichstein. Did you write to him, I am so sorry I gave you unintentionally all that trouble. And what was his answer — please write it to me, I am so anxious to know, because he is so nice, poor boy. — Schneiderlein is there, I must fly to my water. — Many kisses. —

Above: Alix, year 1894.

Above: Ernest, year 1894.

Note: "Unterstützung" = support