Source:
George Hawkins at Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook
The letter:
No 91
Wolfsgarten
September 2nd/ 94
Душки Ники,
I send you my very fondest thanks for your dear letter wh made me intensely happy, but long for you quite too much. And it really does not bore my sweety when I write about my love? You know I cannot help it, but it is ever growing and increasing and eating me right up. But who can help loving you, my own pet, you who are so dear and kind, loving, open, true and clever. To look into those sweet eyes is to love you and when they grow and deepen and twinkle and dream and look sad, one's heart is lost and never to be found again. My poor heart you have quite stolen, you old sinner. I don't know how you dared to have the courage to do such a thing, bad boysy, my boysy, my mannykins, my very own, not to be given up ever again.
I am sure you must greatly miss A. Alix and the Cousins, and they you too. Don't I remember the story of the "Geheimnisvolle Schlüssel"! Never to be forgotten — I can roar when I think of it, that despairing look and the perspiration drops!
Yesterday afternoon we sat out whilst the others played their games and then we went in and Ducky read to me. She exasperated me, I must confess — she is far too cold towards dear Ernie, never shows her feeling, will sit mum in the room and only grunt for an answer. It is my despair, as the dear boy I know likes a little love to be shown to him or some interest — she is so abrupt — true, she is only a Child and now one must not criticise her severely, but it hurts me for dear Ernie's sake, because she does love him. If I ever have an occasion I shall hint it, tho' it won't be easy, as one does not want to meddle or seem to be teaching, but for his sake I must do it — if I can get the right moment. I remember her telling me that when they were engaged she would sit near him and never be able to utter a word, not knowing what to say, and that he even had been silent too. He told me the same thing, but that it had been awful, he had never got anything out of her and she had only always said hmm to everything. She never found anything to write either. Well, we do, I think eh, lovy?
Thora is sleeping near me on the sopha. She, I and Gefolge went to Egelsbach Church and heard a very good service. I prayed fervently for you and yr dear Father. I do long to know whether he feels yet any better for the change of air. But is the shooting there not very tiring?
I got a letter from the old Priest this morning (in Russian) — he is at Frankfort. The weather is beautiful, this afternoon we are going to Darmstadt to the theatre as it begins again to-day.
Now I must say Goodbye. God bless you my own precious Darling and yr dear Ones all, to whom tenderest love.
With a good long kiss and tender embrace,
Ever, adored one, my own sweet Nicky, yr very deeply loving, truly devoted and tenderly affectionate spitzbub
Alix.
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Above: Princess Victoria Melita of Edinburgh, Grand Duchess of Hesse. She was known within the family as Ducky and was Alix's cousin and sister-in-law by her marriage to Alix's brother Ernst, Grand Duke of Hesse.
Notes: "Душки Ники" = "Darling Nicky".
"Geheimnisvolle Schlüssel" = "Mysterious Keys".
Gefolge = entourage.
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