Sources:
Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923
The letters:
No. 96.
Tsarskoje Selo, June 25-th 1915
My Sweetheart,
I thank you ever so fondly for yr. dear, long letter I was overjoyed to receive. How nice that yr. expedition was so successful — tho' you were lonely without yr. "Benoitons" to keep you company.
I never knew that Neverle had died, good old man! —
What luck you saw the Moose & could drive through the thick-woods. —
Ah my love! What anguish you must have gone through when Nikolasha got that bad news. Here I hear nothing & live in anguish & suspension, yearning to know what is going on out there. God will help, only we shall have still much misery & heartache I fear. That ammunition question can turn ones hair grey. —
Deary, I heard that that horrid Rodzianko & others went to Goremykin to beg the Duma to be at once called together — oh please dont, its not their business, they want to discuss things not concerning them & bring more discontent — they must be kept away — I assure you only harm will arise — they speak too much.
Russia, thank God, is not a constitutional country, tho' those creatures try to play a part & meddle in affairs they dare not. Do not allow them to press upon you — its fright if one gives in & their heads will go up. —
You know Gutchkov is still Polivanov's friend — that was the reason there, that Polivanov & Sukhomlinov went apart. I dont like his choice — I loathe yr. being at the Headquarters and many others too, as its not seeing soldiers, but listening to N.'s advice, wh. is not good & cannot be — he has no right to act as he does, mixing in your concerns. All are shocked that the ministers go with report to him, as tho' he were now the Sovereign.
Ah my Nicky, things are not as they ought to be, & therefore N. keeps you near, to have a hold over you with his ideas & bad councels. Wont you yet beleive me, my Boy?
Cant you realise that a man who turned simple traitor to a man of Gods, cannot be blest, nor his actions be good — well, if he must remain at the head of the army there is nothing to be done, & all bad success will fall upon his head — but interior mistakes will be told home upon you, as who inside the country can think that he reigns besides you.
Its so utterly false & wrong. —
I fear I anger & trouble you by my letters — but I am alone in my misery & anxiety & I cant swallow what I think my honest duty to tell you. —
Yesterday evening I invited Kussov (ex Nizhegorodetz) of the Moscou reg. from Tver — & I was struck how exactly he spoke as I think, & he does not know me, only second time we have met — so how many others must judge like him. He was 3 days at the Headquarters & did not carry away a pleasant impression, neither do Voyeikov & N. P., who are the most devoted to you. — Remember our Friend begged you not to remain long — He sees & knows Nikolasha through & through & your too soft & kind heart. — I here, incapable of helping, have rarely gone through such a time of wretchedness — feeling & realising things are not done as they should be, — & helpless to be of use — its bitterly hard; & they, Nikolasha knows my will, & fears my influence (guided by Gregory) upon you; its all so clear. — Well, I must not tire you any longer, only I want my conscience to clear, whatever happens. — Is it true Yussupov has had the half of his duties taken fr. him, so that he plays a secondary part? —
Sergei does not look famous — we touched no subjects — he is going to ask permission to go on Saturday to the Headquarters.
Petia full of secrets & his "heart". —
How nice you could bathe, so refreshing. Here the heat is not great, always a breeze & ideal on the balkony — don't feel well enough to drive. Paul has invited himself to tea. Girls are in hospital, lessons. —
Please answer me, are the cross Processions going to be on the 29-th, as such a great holiday & the end of lent? Excuse bothering you again, but so eager to know, as hear nothing. — To-day I receive the Gentlemen of my committee for our prisoners in Germany & an American (of the young Christian's men's association like our "Mayak") who undertakes to bring all our things personally to the prisons. He has travelled & photogr. in many places, especially Siberia, where we keep our prisoners & wh. are well arranged, those he will exhibit in Germany, hoping it will help ours in return. —
What answer about the "Erivantzi"?
Now goodbye, my very own tenderly beloved one. I cover you with kisses & ask God's blessing upon you. —
Ever yr. own old
Wify.
...
No. 97.
Tsarskoje Selo, June 25-th 1915
My very Own,
Oh, what joy, if you really return on Sunday & the news are better. I was just so miserable, as had a telegram fr. the com. of my Siberian regiment that they had very heavy losses in the night 23-24 fr. 10-3 — & I wondered what great battle was going on — because the wire came from a new place. — Well I saw that American fr. the young Men's Christian Association & was deeply interested by all he told me of our prisoners there & their here. I enclose his letter wh. he is also going to have printed & shown in Germany (& photos, wh. show our excellent barracks). He intends only telling the good on either side & not the bad things, & hopes thus to make all sides work humanely. This evening I got a letter fr. Vicky wh. I send you with Max letters (I fear I worry you, but you are free'er of an evening there than here please read it & you may like to mention some things there). I have let the American who leaves for Germany to-morrow know that I wish him to send the papers to Max & to go & see him & tell him all, so as to rectify all their false impressions upon the way we keep our prisoners.
I never heard about so many illnesses in Russia. — I think he said (the American) that 4000 had died at Cassel from spotted typhus, awful! — Chiefly read Max' English paper; & in Vickys fr. Max you will see our paper wh. my Dear is idiotically worded & without any explication — & abominable German. "Es ist befohlen die 10 ersten deutschen Kriegsgefangenen — als Erfolg (all wrong) der mörderischen Thaten, die sich einige deutsche Truppen erlauben, zu erschiessen." One might have written it in decent German; explaining that in the spot where one finds a man had been tortured one will shoot 10 men just taken. Its badly written — Erfolg (means result — success) one says als Folge, but even that sounds wrong. Let it be decently worded in proper, grammatical German & more explanitarily written.
Then its not meant every time to shoot men down, you never meant that, its all wrong, somehow & therefore they dont understand what one means. —
Please dont mention fr. where the letters came, except to Nikolasha about Max, as he looks after our prisoners; — & they sent the letters through a Swede to Ania, not to a lady in waiting on purpose — nobody is to know about this, not even their embassy — don't know why this fright. I wired openly to Vicky that I thank her for her letter & that he is to rest assured that one does ones best for their prisoners here. I don't compromise myself in that — I don't do anything personally & as I intend doing all for our prisoners & this American will take our things there & tell as where & what is needed & will help as much as he can. — Please, return the papers, or bring them on Sunday, if you really come then. —
I had Paul to tea & we chatted a lot. He asked whether Sergei would be relieved of his post as all are so much against him, right or wrong — & Kchessinska is mixed up again — she behaved like Mme Sukhomlinov it seams with bribes & the Artillery orders — one hears it fr. many sides. Only he reminded me, that it must be by your command, not Nikolasha's as you can only give such an order, (or hint to ask for his resignation) to a Grd. Duke who is no boy, as you are his Chief & not Nikolasha, that wld. make the family very displeased. He is so devoted, Paul, & putting his personal dislike to Nikolasha aside, — finds too that people cannot understand his position, a sort of second Emperor, mixing into everything. How many (& our Friend) say the same thing. —
Then I enclose a letter fr. Count Pahlen, rectifying himself — Goremykin (or Stcherbatov) also found one had acted wrongly towards him (I think Goremykin told me; — the paper Mavra gave me). —
Look through it Deary & forgive me bothering you again. —
You will "hang her" when you get such long epistles from me — but I must write all. — I did not see the Siberian soldier, Petia let me know one forbade him coming to me, because he had run away from Germany — I dont understand the logic, do you? —
26-th. Then this will be my last letter to you, fear even it may not reach you before you leave, as trains so slow. — Heart enlarged so cant go to Church, hope still for to-morrow evening, so as to go Sunday at 8 or 9 to mass & holy Communion in the little Church below with Ania. Sweety, from heart & soul I beg your tender forgiveness for any word or action of mine wh. may have hurt or grieved you; & beleive it was not intentional. Am longing for this moment, to get strength & help. Am not without courage, Lovy, oh no, only such pain in heart & soul from so much sorrow all around & misery at not being able to help. —
There must be woods burning, smells strong since yesterday; & to-day very warm but no sun — shall lie out as usual if no rain. —
Fear can't meet you at station, as Church will already be a great exertion & do feel so rotten still!
What intense happiness to having you back soon — but I still tremble it may not be — God give success to our troops that you can leave there with a calmer heart. Wonder if you can manage to see troops on yr. return route. —
Xenia has announced herself to tea after her lunch at Irina's — am so glad to see her at last again.
Another "Erivan" officer had been brought to our hospital — what answer to their demand, I wonder?
Goodbye, my own beloved One, my Nicky sweet. God bless & protect you & bring you safely home again into the loving arms of your Children & your yearning old
Wify.
Baby & I are going to see Galfter & then 3 wounded of. — Miss my hospital & feel sad not to be able to work & look after our dear wounded. — Love to old Man, Dmitri Sh. & N. P.
Nicholas's telegram:
Telegram. Stavka. 25 June, 1915.
Thanks for sweet letter; Tatiana also. The weather is sultry to-day. I hope to return on Sunday after dinner.
The news is better. I kiss you fondly.
Nicky.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.
Above: Grigori Rasputin.
Note: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".
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