Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated July 23, 1902

Alexandra wrote this letter to Nicholas on July 23, 1902.

Sources:

http://statearchive.ru/1096

A Lifelong Passion, letters and diary entries compiled by Andrei Maylunas and Sergei Mironenko

The letter:

My own sweet One,
It was horrid letting you go off alone — from my balcony I watched the Alexandria. The music had stopped and the public gone when I returned. I went straight to bed — did not cry, as I promised to be good, but scarcely shut my eye the whole night and in consequence my headache continues. We 3 breakfasted at 9 o'clock in my sitting room, then Sergei went to Aunt Marie and Ella and I sat together until we went to the cottage. Your poor Mama turned up with a colossal pile of unanswered telegrams.

We drove round the Alexander Park, and during that time Ella assailed me about our Friend. I remained very quiet and gave dull answers, especially after she said she wanted to get to the bottom of it. She has heard very many unfavourable things about Him and that He is not to be trusted. I did not ask what one said — I explained that all came from jealousy and inquisitiveness. She said such secrecy had been spun around it. I said no, that we did everything openly and that in our position there can never be anything hidden, as we live under the eyes of the whole world. That their whole house knows him, he eats with all, is not hidden. Did we see him often? Yes, several times. I stuck to the story of the remedy.

She finds it funny a foreigner doing such a thing. About 'Nikolasha' — I said that in bygone days spiritism interested him, that he has dropped it a long time ago — so that the conversation never took that turn, which might have been more difficult to explain to her. She thinks Militsa and Stana made too much of a secret — that he had been sent for in winter (I think then) — from a sure, trustworthy source, I never asked who — and that one had tried to hush it up.

I am sure my answers are most unsatisfactory to her — let's hope that she won't begin again. Now Baby Bee is with her. I shall ask him whether anything was in the papers about the Canonization of F Seraphim — if not, he is to write to Pobedonostsev and tell him that you wished it to be printed, as you had said.

Warm day, already one shower, sure to have more. I shall continue my letter later, sweetest love.

Above: Alexandra.

Above: Nicholas.

Above: Ella.