Source:
A Lifelong Passion, letters and diary entries compiled by Andrei Maylunas and Sergei Mironenko
The letter:
My own precious darling Huzy dear,
I cannot find words to tell you how intense my joy was when Archie brought me your adorable letter. It was such a delightful surprise and I thank you for it with all my heart — you're too sweet to have thought of me and this time I gave no letter to be taken for you, such a shame.
Fancy your having sat near me writing the letter, not for a minute did I guess it was for me. I only wondered how quickly you were writing to Victoria. The night was a lonely one and each time I woke up and put my hand out, I touched cold pillow instead of a dear warm hand and nobody to shake and poke and bother by waking up. When you drove off I looked from the corridor window like in the morning when you rode.
I miss your kisses frightfully and hated to see you start off alone on that sad journey — each time we part it is for a sad reason and therefore doubly hard to let you go alone. My thoughts do not leave you for an instant and I can imagine with what feelings you approach Moscow. My heart aches for you and I know how your night will be — could I have flown over to clasp you in my arms and to shower kisses upon you and to tell you of my great love and how it daily grows and grows, filling up my whole life.
But he, the dear boy is at peace and rest now, away from life's sorrows and free from all sufferings. One cannot wish him back again to continue his solitary life. I am sure that he and your darling Father are now nearer to you than ever and that they grieve to see you suffering all. But think what a stay and comfort you are to poor little Motherdear and having you near her will help her too. If my love can be of any comfort let me tell it you over and over again — I love you, I love you, with all my heart and mind and soul and with passion and tenderness.
The little girlies have been here — such a pity that you cannot see Olga on her namesday. Xenia's children will take tea with them and then I shall take Baby down in the lift to them. I can write no more. Stana is coming. It poured hard, is colder, water high, but now sunshine, cannot be on the balcony. Goodbye and God bless you. I cover your precious face and every little dear place with tender kisses and remain your own old Wify for ever and ever.
Alix
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra with their daughters the Grand Duchesses Olga, Tatiana and Maria Nikolaevna, year 1899.
Above: Grand Duke George.
The letter:
My own precious darling Huzy dear,
I cannot find words to tell you how intense my joy was when Archie brought me your adorable letter. It was such a delightful surprise and I thank you for it with all my heart — you're too sweet to have thought of me and this time I gave no letter to be taken for you, such a shame.
Fancy your having sat near me writing the letter, not for a minute did I guess it was for me. I only wondered how quickly you were writing to Victoria. The night was a lonely one and each time I woke up and put my hand out, I touched cold pillow instead of a dear warm hand and nobody to shake and poke and bother by waking up. When you drove off I looked from the corridor window like in the morning when you rode.
I miss your kisses frightfully and hated to see you start off alone on that sad journey — each time we part it is for a sad reason and therefore doubly hard to let you go alone. My thoughts do not leave you for an instant and I can imagine with what feelings you approach Moscow. My heart aches for you and I know how your night will be — could I have flown over to clasp you in my arms and to shower kisses upon you and to tell you of my great love and how it daily grows and grows, filling up my whole life.
But he, the dear boy is at peace and rest now, away from life's sorrows and free from all sufferings. One cannot wish him back again to continue his solitary life. I am sure that he and your darling Father are now nearer to you than ever and that they grieve to see you suffering all. But think what a stay and comfort you are to poor little Motherdear and having you near her will help her too. If my love can be of any comfort let me tell it you over and over again — I love you, I love you, with all my heart and mind and soul and with passion and tenderness.
The little girlies have been here — such a pity that you cannot see Olga on her namesday. Xenia's children will take tea with them and then I shall take Baby down in the lift to them. I can write no more. Stana is coming. It poured hard, is colder, water high, but now sunshine, cannot be on the balcony. Goodbye and God bless you. I cover your precious face and every little dear place with tender kisses and remain your own old Wify for ever and ever.
Alix
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra with their daughters the Grand Duchesses Olga, Tatiana and Maria Nikolaevna, year 1899.
Above: Grand Duke George.
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