Valentina Chebotareva's diary entry, dated December 7, 1915

Source:

http://kfinkelshteyn.narod.ru/Tzarskoye_Selo/Vosp_Chebotarevoy1.htm

The diary entry:

7 декабря [1915].
... Вчера великие княжны в 6 часов вечера вызвали к себе Варвару Афанасьевну, как всегда мило ее ласкали. Между прочим, Татьяна Николаевна спросила: "Как вы думаете, когда сегодня легла мать? В 8 утра! — Очевидно, всю ночь провела подле постели Алексея Николаевича. — Через полчаса встала и поехала в церковь". ...

English translation (my own):

December 7, [1915].
... Yesterday, at 6 p.m., the Grand Duchesses summoned Varvara Afanasievna to their place, as always affectionately caressing her. By the way, Tatiana Nikolaevna asked: "When do you think my mother went to bed today? At 8 in the morning! — Obviously, she spent the whole night near Alexei Nikolaevich's bed. — Half an hour later she got up and went to church." ...

Above: Alexandra with Alexei. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Tatiana. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Valentina Chebotareva's diary entry, dated December 4, 1915

Source:

http://kfinkelshteyn.narod.ru/Tzarskoye_Selo/Vosp_Chebotarevoy1.htm

The diary entry:

4 декабря [1915].
... 27-го [ноября], в день возвращения Веры Игнатьевны, взяли Смирнова в перевязочную. Температура все держалась, пульс скверный, решен был прокол после пробного укола. Игла забилась сгустками гноя, ничего не удавалось высосать, новый укол, и Вера Игнатьевна попадает прямо на гнойник; потек густой, необычайно вонючий гной. Решают немедленно прорез. Забегали мы, я кинулась фильтровать новокаин и кипятить, Татьяна Николаевна самостоятельно собрала и вскипятила все инструменты, перетаскивала столы, готовила белье. Через 25 минут все было готово. Операция прошла благополучно. После разреза сперва с трудом, а потом рекой полился невероятно вонючий гной. Первый разв жизни у меня был позыв к тошноте, а Татьяна Николаевна ничего, только при жалобе, стонах личико подергивалось, да вся стала пунцовая. К вечеру у Смирнова пульс стал падать, в 9 часов приехали Ольга Николаевна и Татьяна Николаевна чистить инструменты. К. опять на лесенке рядом с Татьяной Николаевной. Детки были веселые, оживленные. В 10 часов пошли к Смирнову перед отъездом, и жизнерадостность разом пропала. Глаза закатились, в груди клокотанье, каждый час вспрыскивали то спермит, то камфору. Мы с Варварой Афанасьевной решили остаться, послали за родными, за священником. Исповедался, причастился, глаза оживились, внимательно на всех глядел, совсем ясно говорил, трогательно простился с батюшкой: "Спокойной ночи, батюшка", – но клокотанье не прекращалось, к утру уже никакие вспрыскивания не помогали, пульс пропал, вздохнул два раза и кончился.

На панихиду и отпевание приехала и государыня, ужасно худенькая и грустная. К. приказала оставить санитаром.

English translation (my own):

December 4, [1915].
... On the 27th [November], the day of Vera Ignatievna's return, we took Smirnov to the dressing room. His temperature kept rising, his pulse was bad, the puncture was resolved after the test injection. The needle got clogged with clots of pus, nothing was sucked out, a new injection, and Vera Ignatievna fell directly on the abscess; drip of thick, unusually foul-smelling pus. Decide to cut immediately. We ran in, I rushed to filter novocaine and boil, Tatiana Nikolaevna collected and boiled all the instruments on her own, dragged tables, prepared linen. In 25 minutes everything was ready. The operation went well. After the incision, at first with difficulty, and then incredibly foul-smelling pus poured out like a river. For the first time in my life I had an urge to vomit, but Tatiana Nikolaevna was unruffled, only when someone moaned in pain, her face twitched, but became crimson. By the evening, Smirnov's pulse began to drop, at 9 o'clock Olga Nikolaevna and Tatiana Nikolaevna arrived to clean the instruments. K. was again on the ladder next to Tatiana Nikolaevna. The children were cheerful and lively. At 10 o'clock we went to see Smirnov before leaving, and his cheerfulness disappeared at once. His eyes rolled back, there was a bubbling in his chest, every hour spermite and camphor were injected. Varvara Afanasievna and I decided to stay, sent for his relatives and the priest. He confessed, took Communion, his eyes brightened, he looked at everyone attentively, spoke quite clearly, said goodbye to the priest touchingly: "Good night, Father" — but the bubbling did not stop, by morning no sprays helped, the pulse disappeared, he sighed twice and it was over...

The Empress also came to the panikhida and funeral service, terribly thin and sad. K. ordered to be left as an orderly.

Above: Alexandra with Olga and Tatiana.

Note: panikhida (панихида) = memorial service in the Russian Orthodox Church.

Valentina Chebotareva's diary entry, dated October 24, 1915

Source:

http://kfinkelshteyn.narod.ru/Tzarskoye_Selo/Vosp_Chebotarevoy1.htm

The diary entry (with some of Alexandra's words translated into Russian from French):

24-го октября [1915].
Все эти дни государыня приезжает, мила, ласкова и трогательна, говорила и со мной ласково и приветливо. Оказывается, мяса и рыбы не ест по убеждению: "Лет десять-одиннадцать тому назад была в Сарове и решила не есть больше ничего животного, а потом и доктора нашли, что это необходимо по состоянию моего здоровья". Сидела долго с работой в столовой. Одна из княжон играла в пинг-понг, другая в шашки, кто читал, кто болтал, все просто и уютно. Государыня сказала Варваре Афанасьевне:

"Посмотрите, как малышки забавляются, как эта простая жизнь позволяет отдохнуть... большие сборища, высшее общество — брр! Я возвращаюсь к себе совершенно разбитой. Я должна себе заставлять говорить, видеться с людьми, которые, я отлично знаю, против меня, работают против меня... Двор, эти интриги, эта злоба, как это мучительно и утомительно. Недавно я, наконец, была избавлена кое от кого, и то лишь когда появились доказательства. Когда я удаляюсь из этого общества, я устраиваю свою жизнь как мне нравится; тогда-говорят: 'она — экзальтированная особа'; осуждают тех, кого я люблю, а ведь для того, чтобы судить, надо все знать до деталей. Часто я знаю, что за человек, передо мной; достаточно на него раз взглянуть, чтобы понять: можно ему доверять или нет".

Бедная, несчастная... Такой она мне и рисовалась всегда — сама чистая и хорошая, цельная и простая, она томится условностью и мишурой большого света, а в грязь Григория она не может поверить. В результате — враги в верхних слоях и недоверие нижних.

... Сегодня Татьяна Николаевна сначала приехала одна: "Ведь я еду сюда, как в свой второй дом", и, действительно, такая милая и уютная была. Побежала со мной в кухню, где мы готовили бинты. Государыня посмеялась и сказала, что Татьяна, как хорошая домашняя собачка, привыкла. ...

My reconstruction of Alexandra's words in French (my translation; I cannot find the original):

Regardez comment les petites s'amusent, comment cette vie simple permet de se reposer... de grands rassemblements, de la haute société — brr! Je reviens à moi-même complètement brisée. Je dois me forcer à parler, à voir des gens qui, je sais très bien, sont contre moi, travaillent contre moi... La cour, ces intrigues, cette colère, combien c'est douloureux et épuisant. Récemment, j'ai finalement été délivrée de quelqu'un, et alors seulement quand les preuves sont apparues. Quand je me suis retirée de cette société, j'arrange ma vie comme je l'aime; puis ils disent: «c'est une personne exaltée»; ils condamnent ceux que j'aime, mais pour juger, il faut tout savoir en détail. Souvent je sais de quel genre de la personne est en face de moi; assez de temps pour lui jeter un oeil pour comprendre si l'on peut lui faire confiance ou non.

English translation (my own):

October 24, [1915].
All these days the Empress has been arriving, sweet, affectionate and touching, and spoke to me kindly and affably. It turns out that she does not eat meat and fish because of her conviction: "Ten or eleven years ago I was in Sarov and decided not to eat any more animal products, and then the doctors found that it was necessary for my health." I sat for a long time with work in the dining room. One of the Grand Duchesses played ping-pong, the other played checkers, read, chatted, everything was simple and comfortable. The Empress said to Varvara Afanasievna:

"Look how the little ones amuse themselves, how this simple life allows one to rest... big gatherings, high society — brr! I return to myself completely broken. I have to force myself to talk, to see people who I know very well are against me, they work against me... The court, these intrigues, this anger, how painful and exhausting it is. Recently, I was finally delivered from someone, and then only when the evidence appeared. When I retire from this society, I arrange my life as I like it; then they say: 'she is an exalted person'; they condemn those whom I love, but in order to judge, one must know everything in detail. Often I know what kind of person is in front of me; enough time for him take a look to understand whether one can trust him or not."

Poor, unhappy woman... I always pictured her like that — she was pure and good, whole and simple, she languishes with the convention and tinsel of the great world, and she cannot believe in the filth of Grigori. As a result, there are enemies in the upper layers and distrust of the lower ones.

... Today Tatiana Nikolaevna first came alone: ​​"After all, I come here like it's my second home", and, indeed, she was so sweet and nice. She ran with me to the kitchen, where we were preparing bandages. The Empress laughed and said that Tatiana, like a good pet dog, was used to it. ...

Above: Alexandra with Olga and Tatiana. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Valentina Chebotareva's diary entry, dated October 21, 1915

Sources:

http://kfinkelshteyn.narod.ru/Tzarskoye_Selo/Vosp_Chebotarevoy1.htm

The diary entry:

21 октября [1915].
... Занятно, чем кончится история Б. Д. Офицеры-преображенцы переоделись извозчиками и повезли кататься сестер – скандал и шум. Шаховская, конечно, не преминула обратиться к Вырубовой. Государыня взглянула очень строго, офицеров перевели в другой лазарет, а сестер, возможно, вышибут. Шаховская свою кузину на их место. Но, говорят, без крупной истории не обойдется, расскажут все эскапады Шаховской, но захотят ли их выслушать!

English translation (my own):

October 27, [1915].
... It's interesting how B. D.'s story will end. Preobrazhensky officers disguised themselves as cabbies and took the nurses for a ride — scandal and noise. Shakhovskaya, of course, did not fail to turn to Vyrubova. The Empress looked very sternly, the officers were transferred to another infirmary, and the nurses, perhaps, would be kicked out. Shakhovskaya's cousin would be put in their place. But, they say, it will not do without a big story, they will tell about all Shakhovskaya's escapades, but will they want to listen to them?!

Above: Alexandra.

Valentina Chebotareva's diary entry, dated August 1, 1915

Source:

http://kfinkelshteyn.narod.ru/Tzarskoye_Selo/Vosp_Chebotarevoy1.htm

The diary entry:

1 августа [1915].
... Как тяжела была смерть Корвин-Пиотровского! Я была ночной дежурной и всю ночь сидела подле бедняги, и ему грозила ежесекундная смерть. С правой стороны вздулась опухоль в кулак. Каждые пять минут он менял положение. Гладила его по руке... Казалось, немного забывался и спал с перерывами. Наутро бодро поехал на операцию. Начало было недурно, но как-то щемящим предчувствием сжималось сердце, как увидела Деревенько, этот злой дух наш, a porte malheur. Артерии Вера Игнатьевна перевязала, дала держать Эберману и вдруг артерия перервалась, кровь хлынула рекой, и тут Вера Игнатьевна проявила чудеса ловкости, мигом отшвырнула Эбермана и одним движением зажала бьющий фонтан. Но легкие уже насытились кровью и всем слышен был роковой свист. Наркоз прекратили, но пульс стал падать, лицо посинело, остановившиеся стеклянные глаза не реагировали ни на свет, ни на прикосновение. Все попытки вызвать искусственное дыхание, опрокидывание головы вниз – ничто не помогало. В жизни не забуду этой первой смерти, что пришлось видеть. Два-три каких-то беспомощных всплескивания губами – и все кончено. Человека не стало, какая мертвая тишина наступила... Сестры, и Ольга, и Татьяна, плакали. Государыня, как скорбный ангел, закрыла ему глаза, постояла несколько секунд и тихо вышла. Бедная Вера Игнатьевна моментально ушла к себе. До чего ей было тяжело; у всех врачей был сконфуженный, но виноватый вид. Драматично еще то, что жена его не получила телеграммы, ехала, уверенная, что он легко ранен и первым делом наткнулась на денщика: "Где барин, проведи меня скорей", а тот по простоте душевной брякнул: "Вот здесь, в часовне".

English translation (my own):

August 1, [1915].
... How hard the death of Korvin-Piotrovsky was! I was the night watcher, and all night I sat beside the poor fellow, and he was threatened with death every second. On the right side, a swelling swelled into a fist. He changed position every five minutes. I stroked his arm... It seemed that I forgot a little and slept intermittently. The next morning I cheerfully went to the operation. The beginning was not bad, but somehow my heart sank with a painful foreboding, as Derevenko saw this evil spirit of ours, a porte malheur. Vera Ignatievna bandaged the arteries, gave Eberman a hold, and suddenly the artery broke, blood gushed like a river, and then Vera Ignatievna showed miracles of dexterity, instantly threw Eberman aside and with one movement squeezed the gushing fountain. But the lungs were already full of blood and everyone heard the fatal whistle. The anesthesia was stopped, but the pulse began to drop, the face turned blue, the stopped, glassy eyes did not react to light or touch. All attempts to induce artificial respiration, rolling the head down — nothing helped. All my life I will never forget this first death that I had to witness. Two or three helpless sputters of his lips — and it was all over. The man was gone, what a dead silence came... The sisters, both Olga and Tatiana, were crying. The Empress, like a mournful angel, closed his eyes, stood for a few seconds and quietly left. Poor Vera Ignatievna immediately went to her room. How hard it was for her; all the doctors looked embarrassed but guilty. It is also dramatic that his wife did not receive the telegram, she was driving here, confident that he was only slightly wounded; and the first person she ran into was the orderly: "Where is my husband, take me to him quickly," and he blurted out in the simplicity of his soul: "Here, in the chapel."

Above: Alexandra with Olga and Tatiana.

Valentina Chebotareva's diary entry, dated July 30, 1915

Source:

http://kfinkelshteyn.narod.ru/Tzarskoye_Selo/Vosp_Chebotarevoy1.htm

The diary entry:

30 июля [1915].
... Среди операции перенесли ужасную минуту. Вера Игнатьевна говорит: "дренаж", а о нем никто и не подумал. Счастье, что я, в своей мании все стерилизовать, прокипятила жгут и спрятала его в стеклянную банку. Мигом выхватила и подала, но час еще после все внутри прыгало и дрожало. Княжны мне шепнули: "После отъезда мама́ мы останемся, поможем вам чистить инструменты." ...

... Вспомнилась сценка из безмятежных дней, когда с фронта шли радостные вести, и в лазарете царил тихий, счастливый покой. В конце апреля или в начале, не помню точно, государыня бывала каждый день, бодрая, чудная, ласковая. После перевязок часами сидела у постели Варвары Афанасьевны, туда приходили и раненые. Государыня и княжны работали, шутили, смеялись.

English translation (my own):

July 30, [1915].
... In the middle of the operation, we suffered a terrible minute. Vera Ignatievna says: "drainage", but no one thought about it. It is fortunate that in my mania to sterilise everything, I boiled a tourniquet and hid it in a glass jar. I instantly grabbed and served it, but for an hour after that everything inside jumped and trembled. The Grand Duchesses whispered to me: "After Mama leaves, we will stay and help you clean the instruments." ...

... I remembered a scene from the serene days, when joyful news came from the front, and a quiet, happy peace reigned in the infirmary. At the end of April or at the beginning, I don't remember exactly, the Empress was there every day, cheerful, wonderful, affectionate. After bandaging, I sat for hours at the bedside of Varvara Afanasievna, and the wounded also came there. The Empress and the Grand Duchesses worked, joked, laughed.

Above: Alexandra with Olga and Tatiana.

Valentina Chebotareva's diary entry, dated July 27, 1915

Source:

http://kfinkelshteyn.narod.ru/Tzarskoye_Selo/Vosp_Chebotarevoy1.htm

The diary entry:

27 июля [1915].
... 2-го января [1915] я вечер была дома, дежурила графиня. В одиннадцатом часу позвонил М. Л. Слышал о страшной катастрофе - Вырубова тоже пострадала, кажется, ноги отрезаны, "повезли к вам в лазарет". Как стало жутко и первая мысль: "Господи, избавь государыню от этого нового горя потерять близкого, любящего человека!" Кинулась в лазарет. Направо, в конце коридора, на носилках стонал пострадавший художник Стреблов, подле возились Эберт, Мухин; Вера Игнатьевна была налево, в императорской комнате. Оказывается, как только дали знать императрице о несчастьи, она собрала все свои силы и поехала.

Присутствие духа поразительное. Помогала выносить всех, сама всем распоряжалась, устройла ей кровать в своей комнате, нашла силы приласкать расплакавшуюся Грекову. По телефону сказали, что ноги уже обе отрезаны. Императрица погладила Грекову по голове, поцеловала и сказала: "До последней минуты я всегда надеюсь и еще не верю, Бог милостив". Около 10-ти часов привезли. Каким-то чудом Вера Игнатьевна оказалась во встречном поезде, наткнулась на Сабурова, кричавшего: "Аня Вырубова искалечена, не могут вытащить из-под вагона!" Два часа стояла подле нее на снегу и помогала отвезти - к нам. Страдания невероятные. Осмотреть ее не удается — кажется, сломан крестец — при малейшей попытке дотронуться — нечеловеческий стон, вой. Коридоры полны народа, тут и Воейков, флигель-адъютант, Комаров, масса придворных, старики Танеевы бродят растерянные, не отказались все же закусить. Татьяна Николаевна, нежно взяв под руку старуху Танееву, прошла с ней по коридору, заплаканная.

Послали за Григорием. Жутко мне стало, но осудить никого не могла. Женщина умирает; она верит в Григория, в его - святость, в молитвы. Приехал перепуганный, трепаная бороденка трясется, мышиные глазки так и бегают. Схватил Веру Игнатьевну за руку: "Будет жить, будет жить..." Как она сама мне потом говорила, "решила разыграть и я пророка, задумалась и изрекла: "Будет, я ее спасу." Несмотря на трагизм минуты, государь не мог не улыбнуться, сказав; "Всякий по-своему лечить".

Государь приехал в первом часу ночи, грустный, но, главное, видно, озабоченный за императрицу. С какой лаской он за ней следил и с некоторым беспокойством всматривался в лица офицеров: как-то будет встречено появление наряду с ними этого пресловутого старца. Государь долго говорил с Верой Игнатьевной, подробностей не знаю, но он, безусловно, ни в какую святость и силу Григория не верит, но терпит, как ту соломину, за которую хватается больная исстрадавшаяся душа. Сюда поместил Анну Александровну нарочно, "чтобы и она, и остальные были в здоровой обстановке, если возможно, удаленные от кликушества".

Вера Игнатьевна поставила условием, чтобы Григорий ходил через боковой подъезд, никогда среди офицеров не показывался, чтобы его Акулина-богородица не смела переступать порога, отделяющего коридор, где императорская комната и перевязочные, от остального помещения. Стеклянные двери были закрыты и на следующее утро завершены полотняными портьерами. Но все это были меры страуса, прячущего голову. Все знали о каждом его появлении и большинство мирилось, верно понимая, что нельзя отказать умирающей женщине в ее просьбе. Но невольно какая-то тень бросалась на светлый, обожаемый облик, и что-то было надломлено... Анна Александровна ветретила Григория словами: "Где же ты был, я так тебя звала. Вот тебе и ясновидение, не почуял на расстоянии, что с его Аннушкой беда приключилась!" Остался дежурить на всю ночь. Царская семья уехала около часу. У государыни нашлись силы всем нам пожать руки, улыбнуться. Вот несчастная!

English translation (my own):

July 27, [1915].
... On January 2 [1915] I was at home in the evening, the countess was on duty. At eleven o'clock M. L. phoned. I heard about a terrible catastrophe — Vyrubova also suffered, it seems, her legs were cut off, "they took [her] to your infirmary." How terrible my first thought was: "Lord, save the Empress from this new grief of losing a loved one, a loving person!" I rushed to the infirmary. To the right, at the end of the corridor, the injured artist Streblov moaned on a stretcher, Ebert and Mukhin were busy at the side; Vera Ignatievna was on the left, in the imperial room. It turns out, as soon as the Empress was informed about the accident, she gathered all her strength and drove off.

Her presence of mind was amazing. She helped everyone to endure, she disposed of everything herself, arranged a bed in her room, found the strength to console the weeping Grekov. They said on the phone that both legs had already been cut off. The Empress stroked Grekov's head, kissed him and said: "Until the last minute, I always hope and still do not believe [she will die], God is merciful." They arrived at about 10 o'clock. By some miracle, Vera Ignatievna found herself in the oncoming train and bumped into Saburov, shouting: "Anya Vyrubova is crippled, they cannot get out from under the carriage!" For two hours I stood beside her in the snow and helped to drive her to our infirmary. Her suffering was incredible. It was not possible to examine her — it seemed that the sacrum was broken — at the slightest attempt to touch it there was an inhuman moan, a howl. The corridors were full of people, here and Voyeikov, the aide-de-camp, Komarov, a mass of courtiers, the old Taneyevs wandered around confused, they still did not refuse to have a bite to eat. Tatiana Nikolaevna, gently taking the old woman Taneyeva by the arm, walked with her down the corridor tearfully.

They sent for Grigori. I felt terrified, but I could not condemn anyone. The woman was dying; she believed in Grigori, in his holiness, in his prayers. He arrived frightened, his scruffy beard was shaking, his mousy eyes were darting around. He grabbed Vera Ignatievna by the hand: "She will live, she will live..." As she told me later, "I decided to play the prophet too, I thought and said: 'She will, I will save her.'" Despite the tragedy of the minute, the Sovereign could not help but smile, saying, "Everybody heals in his own way."

The Emperor arrived at midnight, sad, but, mainly, visibly worried about the Empress. With such affection he watched her and with some concern peered into the faces of the officers: somehow the appearance of this notorious starets along with them would be greeted. The Emperor talked for a long time with Vera Ignatievna, I don't know the details, but he certainly does not believe in any holiness and power of Grigori, but he endures like that straw that a sick, tormented soul clings to. I put Anna Alexandrovna here on purpose, "so that both she and the others would be in a healthy environment, if possible, removed from hysteria."

Vera Ignatievna made it a condition that Grigori walk through the side entrance, never show himself among the officers, so that his Akulina Theotokos did not dare to cross the threshold separating the corridor, where the imperial room and dressing rooms were, from the rest of the room. The glass doors were closed and finished the next morning with linen curtains. But all these were measures of an ostrich hiding its head. Everyone knew about his every appearance and the majority made peace with them, realising that it was impossible to refuse a dying woman in her request. But involuntarily some kind of shadow was thrown on the light, adored appearance, and something was broken... Anna Alexandrovna blasted Grigori with the words: "Where have you been, I called you. Here is your clairvoyance, I did not smell at a distance that trouble happened to his Annushka!" Remained on duty all night. The imperial family left for about an hour. The Empress found the strength to shake all our hands and smile. What an unfortunate woman!

Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Above: Anna Vyrubova.

Above: Grigori Rasputin.

Valentina Chebotareva's diary entry of July 26, 1915

Source:

http://kfinkelshteyn.narod.ru/Tzarskoye_Selo/Vosp_Chebotarevoy1.htm

The diary entry:

26 июля [1915].
... Начали работать императрица и великие княжны в августе [1914]. Сначала как они были далеки! Целовали руку, здороваясь с княжнами, и этим дело кончалось. Вера Игнатьевна читала лекции в их комнате с полчаса, там всегда была Анна Александровна, затем шли на перевязки, княжны – солдат, государыня и Анна Александровна – офицеров.

English translation (my own):

July 26, [1915].
... The Empress and the Grand Duchesses [Olga and Tatiana Nikolaevna] began to work in August [1914]. How distant they were at first! We kissed their hands, greeted the Grand Duchesses, and that was the end of the matter. Vera Ignatievna lectured in their room for half an hour, Anna Alexandrovna [Vyrubova] was always there, then they went to dressings, the Grand Duchesses had soldiers, the Empress and Anna Alexandrovna had officers.

Above: Alexandra, Olga and Tatiana and Anna Vyrubova in their nursing uniforms.

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated August 22, 1915

Source:

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=165&skin=2021

The letter:

No. 98.
Tsarskoje Selo, Aug. 22-nd 1915
My very own beloved One,
I cannot find words to express all I want to — my heart is far too full. I only long to hold you tight in my arms & whisper words of intense love, courage, strength & endless blessings. More than hard to let you go alone, so completely alone — but God is very near to you, more then ever. You have fought this great fight for your country & throne — alone & with bravery & decision. Never have they seen such firmness in you before & it cannot remain without good fruit.

Do not fear for what remains behind — one must be severe & stop all at once. Lovy, I am here, dont laugh at silly old wify, but she has "trousers" on unseen, & I can get the old man to come & keep him up to be energetic — whenever I can be of the smallest use, tell me what to do — use me — at such a time God will give me the strength to help you — because our souls are fighting for the right against the evil. It is all much deeper than appears to the eye — we, who have been taught to look at all from another side, see what the struggle here really is & means — you showing your mastery, proving yourself the Autocrat without wh. Russia cannot exist. Had you given in now in these different questions, they would have dragged out yet more of you. Being firm is the only saving — I know what it costs you, & have & do suffer hideously for you, forgive me, I beseech you, my Angel, for having left you no peace & worried you so much — but I too well know yr. marvelously gentle character — & you had to shake it off this time, had to win your fight alone against all. It will be a glorious page in yr. reign & Russian history the story of these weeks & days — & God, who is just & near you — will save your country & throne through your firmness.

A harder battle has rarely been fought, than yours & it will be crowned with success, only believe this.

Yr. faith has been tried — your trust — & you remained firm as a rock, for that you will be blessed. God anointed you at your coronation, he placed you were you stand & you have done your duty, be sure, quite sure of this & He forsaketh not His anointed. Our Friend's prayers arise night & day for you to Heaven & God will hear them.

Those who fear & cannot understand your actions, will be brought by events to realise your great wisdom. It is the beginning of the glory of yr. reign, He said so & I absolutely believe it. Your Sun is rising — & to-day it shines so brightly. And so will you charm all those great blunderers, cowards, lead astray, noisy, blind, narrowminded & (dishonest false) beings, this morning.

And your Sunbeam will appear to help you, your very own Child — won't that touch those hearts & make them realise what you are doing, & what they dared to wish to do, to shake your throne, to frighten you with internal black forebodings — only a bit of success out there & they will change. They will (?) disperse home into clean air & their minds will be purified & they carry the picture of you & yr. Son in their hearts with them. —

I do hope Goremykin will agree to yr. choice of Khvostov — you need an energetic minister of the interior — should he be the wrong man, he can later be changed — no harm in that, at such times — but if energetic he may help splendidly & then the old man does not matter.

If you take him, then only wire to me "tail (Khvostov) alright" & I shall understand. —
Let no talks worry you — am glad Dmitri wont be there — snap up Voyeikov if he is stupid — am sure he is afraid meeting people there who may think he was against Nikolasha & Orlov & to smoothe things, he begs you for Nikolasha — that would be the greatest fault & undo all you have so courageously done & the great internal fight would have been for nothing. Too kind, don't be, I mean not specially, as otherwise it would be dishonest, as still there have been things you were discontented with him about. Remind others about Misha, the Emperor's brother & then there is war there too. —

All is for the good, as our Friend says, the worst is over. — Now you speak to the Minister of war & he will take energetic measures, as soon as needed — but Khvostov, will see to that too if you name him. — When you leave, shall wire to Friend to-night through Ania — & He will particularly think of you. Only get Nikolasha's nomination quicker done — no dawdling, its bad for the cause & for Alexejev too — & a settled thing quieten minds, even if against their wish, sooner than that waiting & uncertainty & trying to influence you — it tires out ones heart.
I feel completely done up & only keep myself going with force — they shall not think that I am downhearted or frightened — but confident & calm. —

Joy we went to those holy places to-gether — for sure yr. dear Father quite particularly prays for you. —

Give me some news as soon as you can — now am afraid for the moment N. P. wiring to Ania until am sure nobody watches again.

Tell me the impression, if you can. Be firm to the end, let me be sure of that otherwise shall get quite ill from anxiety.

Bitter pain not to be with you — know what you feel, & the meeting with N. wont be agreeable — you did trust him & now you know, what months ago our Friend said, that he was acting wrongly towards you & your country & wife — its not the people who would do harm to your people, but Nikolasha & set Gutchkov, Rodzianko, Samarin etc. —

Lovy, if you hear I am not so well, don't be anxious, I have suffered so terribly, & phisically overtired myself these 2 days, & morally worried (& worry still till all is done at the Headquarters & Nikolasha gone) only then shall I feel calm — near you all is well — when out of sight others at once profit — you are they are affraid of me & so come to you when alone — they know I have a will of my own when I feel I am in the right — & you are now — we know it, so you make them tremble before your courage & will. God is with you & our Friend for you — all is well — & later all will thank you for having saved your country. Don't doubt — believe, & all will be well & the army is everything — a few strikes nothing, in comparison, as can & shall be suppressed. The left are furious because all slips through their hands & their cards are clear to us & the game they wished to use Nikolasha for — even Shvedov knows it fr. there.

Now goodnight lovy, go straight to bed without tea with the rest & their long faces. Sleep long & well, you need rest after this strain & your heart needs calm hours. — God Almighty bless your undertaking, His holy Angels guard & guide you & bless the work of your hands. — Please give this little Image of St. John the Warrior to Alexeiev with my blessing & fervent wishes. You have my Image I blessed you with last year — I give no other as that carries my blessing & you have Gregory's St. Nicolas to guard & guide you. I always place a candle before St. Nicolas at Znamenje for you — & shall do, so to-morrow at 3 o'clock & before the Virgin. You will feel my soul near you.

I clasp you tenderly to my heart, kiss and caress you without end — want to show you all the intense love I have for you, warm, cheer, console, strengthen you, & make you sure of yourself. Sleep well my Sunshine, Russia's Saviour. Remember last night, how tenderly we clung to-gether. I shall yearn for yr. caresses — I never can have enough of them. And I still have the children, & you are all alone. Another time I must give you Baby for a bit to cheer you up. —

I kiss you without end & bless you. Holy Angels guard your slumber — I am near & with you for ever & ever & none shall seperate us. —
Yr. very own wife
Sunny.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria, Anastasia and Alexei.

Above: Grigori Rasputin.

Note: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".

Excerpts from Kate Koon's letter to her parents on the coronation day, dated May 14/26, 1896

Source:

Russian coronation, 1896: the letters of Kate Koon (Bovey) from the last Russian coronation, pages 19 to 25, privately printed in Minneapolis, 1942

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=wu.89095920781&view=1up&seq=43&skin=2021

The letter excerpts:

Moscow, Tuesday, May 26th, 1896
Dear Papa and Mama:
The grandest day of my life was also the most important day in the life of Nicholas II, the Czar of the Russians. According to the Julian calendar used in Russia this is May 14, for there is a difference of twelve days between it and the Gregorian calendar used in the United States. ...

At four o'clock I woke up to find the promise of a glorious, warm day, and I got up for good at five (not 4:30 for we begged off a half hour), had breakfast at six, ate as many boiled eggs as I possibly could, put on as many warm clothes as possible, saw that my blue satin train, with its bunches of pink poppies and its ruche of blue tulle was nicely hung over my left arm, and then tucked myself into the carriage with three other equally corpulent bundles of silk and satin, and away we went. Unfortunately we went to the wrong gate, and when finally we alighted from the carriage we had to sachet up and down rows of men, through masses of people and past tribunes or stands full of very plainly dressed women, until we could find some one who understood what particular place our tickets called for. We felt rather odd being so over dressed until finally some man, glittering with gold, escorted us to our seats and we found we had the best place in the entire Kremlin enclosure.

The tribune, in the second story of which we sat, faced the Kremlin square, which was surrounded by three churches, the famous Red Staircase leading to the palace and the stands which had been erected in all the possible spaces, completed the surroundings of the square. There was almost no one in the Diplomatic tribune when we arrived, although it was a little after seven. We got our seats in the second row, and when we had settled ourselves with our trains heaped in our laps, we began to take in the gorgeous sight spread out before us.

The brilliant crimson red carpet which covered the stairway to the palace also covered the steps and platforms which formed the entrance to the three churches, then ran across the square in two long pieces which divided the open space into four parts and made a regal path in all directions. The bright blue sky contrasted with the brilliant gold of the many domes which rose on all sides. In one direction we could catch sight of a bit of country, where the hazy green was a great change from the brightness of our immediate surroundings. Already the square was filling with people, and more kept coming in from all sides. The gorgeous red, white and gold uniforms of the guards, who lined the edges of the crimson carpet wherever it was laid were quite put to shame as the many representatives of the various oriental countries began to arrive, for when it comes to rich velvets, gold and silver cloths, the orientals certainly outshine every one else. If the ambassadors and the naval and military representatives (one from each country) were Christians, they and their wives were given tickets for the Cathedral of the Assumption, where the crowning of the Czar took place. Those who were not Christians were not allowed in the church but were, like ourselves, given tickets for the stand reserved for the rest of the diplomatic corps and for distinguished visitors on the official lists of the various ambassadors. It was in this way that we saw in the crowd near us some of the richly costumed men of the East. ... There were people from northern Russia who had on great heavy coats with huge fur collars. There were Persians, each wearing a black fez, Turks with their red ones, Bokharans with white or colored turbans and gowns of the richest stuffs, Koreans with the queerest black headdresses, Hussars with gold and fur trimmed coats hanging from their shoulders, and Caucasians in their long red coats. From the steppes of Siberia there were men whose hats were like sombreros. There were people from all the nations on the earth, forming the most interesting crowd imaginable.

The servants of the court were present in their red and gold suits, and a group of the maids, each looking like a bride in her white gown, stood on one of the distant platforms.

In the tribunes around the square were people in light dresses, and one uncovered tribune out in the sun was a bright picture, for all the women had light parasols and wore very light dresses. It was impossible to count the gentlemen of the court, all in solid masses of gold. They were the shining lights of the scene until the royal party appeared. Not only were the high men of the Russian court gorgeous, but every one in any way connected with the court was a brilliant sight that morning.

The seats in our tribune were soon filled, and the tout ensemble was most gorgeous. The women were brilliant in their court costumes, which we could study well as most of them gradually shed their wraps, for the day continued to grow very warm. Mrs. Roebling and Mrs. Palmer were bedecked with diamond tiaras, as were a group of English and French women behind us and many others around us. We didn't quite know why we had to dress in such an elaborate manner, but we soon found that we were to go to the palace for luncheon after the ceremony. ...

The priests and the metropolitans who are the next after the Czar in rank in the Greek church, robed in cloth of gold, and one wearing a gold and diamond mitre, passed into the Cathedral through a small side door. Soon the gentlemen of the imperial household filed into the church; then a large body of deputies from the different towns marched in. We wondered how the small church was going to hold all of them, together with the royal guests who had not yet gone in. The question was soon solved, for by watching another side door we could see the two processions file out. The diplomats and their wives began to descend the Red Staircase and were escorted by some of the high men of the court. A canopy of gold cloth with yellow, white and black ostrich feathers in great bunches on the top was carried to the foot of the stairway, and following a procession of brilliantly dressed men, the Dowager Empress appeared attired in a gown of embroidered white velvet, her long train carried aloft by a dozen men. Upon her dark hair rested her small crown, a semi-ball of diamonds, which showed to great advantage in the bright sunlight. As soon as she was under the canopy the procession started and moved slowly down the red carpet to the church where the priests were awaiting her. She bowed continually to the people, and when she got to the steps of the church she stepped from under the canopy, the priests came forward, and after she had been touched with holy water, she said some prayer before the icon which was held by one of the golden-gowned priests. She then clasped hands with the metropolitans, one at a time, and each bent down so close to her face it looked as though they kissed her cheek, but I think they only kissed her hand.

Then she passed into the church, followed by her group of women, all in the most gorgeous of gowns and richest of trains. There was quite a long wait, and then the imperial guests appeared, among them a queen, princes and crown princes and their wives, and dukes and grand dukes and their wives, etc., from the various parts of Europe. As our tribune was the nearest to the Cathedral we got a very good view of them.

The young Czar and his wife now appeared on the stairway. He was dressed in a blue uniform with a red ribbon across his breast. At his side was the beautiful Czarina in white wearing her red ribbon and around her neck were magnificent pearls. The people were wild with joy when the young couple came in sight. The Czar stepped first under a larger and more magnificent canopy than that under which his mother had moved. The Czarina walked behind him under the same canopy as they moved slowly to the door of the Cathedral, where they stopped for a long time for holy anointing and for prayers. The priests who had been around in the square throwing holy water upon the people were all in place now in the procession which moved to the door of the tiny Cathedral of the Assumption. We were told that for the next two hours the ceremony of the coronation would continue.

We tried to imagine the various religious parts of the ceremony, which we were told later were very tiresome for the people who had to stand for several hours in the church. We were glad we did not have to do that, but of course we should have been delighted to have seen the actual crowning. Since we could not, we tried to create a mental picture of the way the Czar's mantle was put about his shoulders and how he put his own crown on his head after receiving the benediction from the priests. When he had taken his sceptre and the globe into his hands, he seated himself for a moment upon his throne. The sceptre, crowns and globe we had seen carried on cushions into the church before the ceremony began. His next step was to take off his own crown and place it for a moment upon the Czarina's head, then replace it upon his own and take her small one and crown her. Her mantle was then put on, the bells and the cannon proclaimed to the people the coronation, and so loud was the noise I wonder you did not hear it. I suppose the telegraph announced the news to you across the seas. After more prayers, some singing and service and the congratulations of the family, it was after twelve and the canopies again were brought to the doors, and we knew we should not have to wait much longer.

There had been a good deal about us to interest us, and after a cup of tea we felt quite refreshed.

Now the larger canopy was taken to the side door, and we were quite exercised for a time wondering how we could see everything if they all came out different doors at the same time. We were greatly relieved when we saw the Dowager Empress come alone out of the front door and proceed to the foot of the Red Staircase which she ascended and disappeared, followed by the royal guests. The cheering began near the side door and heralded the coming of the newly crowned pair. Out they came, preceded as usual by the chamberlains and Masters of Ceremonies, etc. The Emperor's crown of diamonds flashed like a veritable sun, as he walked under his awning followed by the Empress. The procession passed from our sight for a few moments while the royal couple showed themselves to the people in the tribunes back of the square. We had not long to wait for they soon came back and went to the second cathedral, there to kiss the relics and "salute the tombs of their ancestors." Then they passed to the next church to do the same. At the entrance to each cathedral they were met by a group of priests who went in with them. When they had performed these duties their majesties left their canopy at the foot of the Red Staircase and ascended it amid the cheers of the people. At the top they turned for the people to catch the last glimpse of them, then they passed into the palace, and that part of the coronation festivities was at an end. ...

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra with Marie Feodorovna at their coronation ceremony, painted by Lauritz Tuxen.

Above: Alexandra in her coronation dress, robes and crown, painted by Konstantin Makovsky.