Sources:
Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923
The letter:
No. 114.
Tsarskoje Selo, Sept. 6-th 1915
Beloved Nicky dear,
Every morning & evening I bless & then kiss your cushion & one of your Images. I always bless you whilst you sleep & I get up to draw open the curtains. Wify sleeps all alone down here, & the wind is howling melancholy to-night. How lonely you must feel, wee One. Are your rooms at least not too hideous? Cannot N. P. or Drenteln photo them? All day impatiently I await your dear telegram wh. either comes during dinner or towards 11. —
So many yellow & copper leaves, & alas also many are beginning to fall — sad autumn has already set in — the wounded feel melancholy as they cannot sit out but rarely & their limbs ache when its damp — they almost all have become barometers. We send them off as quickly as possible to the Crimea.
Taube left yesterday with several others to Yalta as a surgeon must watch his wound & my little Ivanov's too. — Ania dined with me yesterday upstairs. To-day is Isa's birthday, so I have invited her with Ania to luncheon. — Oh beloved One — 2 weeks you left, — me loves you so intensely & I long to hold you in my arms & cover your sweet face with gentle kisses & gaze into your big beautiful eyes — now you cant prevent me from writing it, you bad boy.
When will some of our dear troops have that joy? Wont it be a recompense to see you! Navruzov wrote, he at last tried to return to his regiment after 9 months, but only got as far as Kars, his wound reopened again a fistula & he needs dressings, so once more his hopes are frustrated — but he begged Jagmin for work & he has sent him to Armavir with the young soldiers to train them & look after the youngest officers.
It is so nice to feel ones dear wounded remember one & write. Madame Zizi also often hears from those that lay in the big palace. —
Have you news from Misha? I have no idea where he is. Do get him to stop a bit with you — get him quite to yourself. — N. P. writes so contented & spirits up — anything better than town.
It seems Aunt Olga before coming to see me had flown half wild to Paul saying the revolution has begun, there will be bloodshed, we shall all be got rid of, Paul must fly to Goremykin & so on — poor soul! To me she came already quieter & left quite calm — she & Mavra probably got a fright, the atmosphere spread there too from Petrograd. —
Grey & only 5 degrees. — The big girls have gone to Church at 9 & I go with the others at 10½. — Isa has cought cold & 38 this morning, so has to keep in bed. The news is good again in the south, but they are quite close to Vilna wh. is despairing — but their forces are so colossal. — You wired you had written so I am eagerly awaiting your letter, Lovy — its sad only with telegrams in wh. one cannot give any news, but I know you have no time for writing, & when working hard to have still to sit down to a letter, thats dull & wearisome work; & you have every moment taken too, Sweetheart.
I had Markozov from 6¼ to 8 so have to write whilst eating — most interesting all he told & can be of use to abolish misunderstandings, cant write about anything of that to-night. — Old man came to me — so hard for him, ministers so rotten to him, I think they want to ask for their leave & the best thing too. —
Sazonov is the worst, cries, excites all (when it has nothing to do with him), does not come to the conseil des Ministers, wh. is an unheard of thing — Fred. ought to tell him fr. you that you have heard of it & are very displeased, I find. I call it a strike of the ministers. Then they go & speak of everything wh. is spoken of & discussed in the Council & they have no right to, makes him so angry. You ought to wire to the old man that you forbid one talking outside what is spoken of at the Council of Ministers & wh. concerns nobody. There are things that can & wh. are known later, but not everything. —
If in any way you feel he hinders, is an obstacle for you, then you better let him go (he says all this) but if you keep him he will do all you order & try on his best — but begs you to think this over for when you return to seriously decide, also Stcherbatov's successor & Sazonov. — He told Stcherbatov he finds absolutely a person chosen by Stcherbatov ought to be present at Moscou at all these meetings & forbid any touching of questions wh. dont concern them — he has the right as Minister of the Interior; Stcherbatov agreed at first, but after having seen people fr. Moscou he changed his mind & no more agreed — he was to tell you all this, Goremykin told him to — did he? Do answer. — Then he begs D. Mrazovsky. should quickly go to Moscou, as his presence may be needed any day. — I don't admire Yussupov leaving (its her fault) but he was not worth much. — And now we have left Vilna — what pain, but God will help — its not our fault with these terrible losses. Soon is the Sweet Virgin's feast 8-th (my day, do you remember Mr. Philippe) — she will help us. —
Our Friend wires, probably after her letter his wife brought, telling about all the interior difficulties. "Do not fear our personal embarassments, the protection of the Holy Mother is over you — go to the hospitals though the enemies are menacing — have faith." Well I have no fright, that you know. — In Germany one hates me now too He said & I understand it — its but natural. —
How I understand, how disagreeable to change your place — but of course you need being further from the big line. But God will not forsake our troops, they are so brave. —
I must end now, Lovebird. — Alright about Boris, only is it the moment? Then make him remain at the war & not return here, he must lead a better life than at Warshaw & understand the great honour for one so young. — Its a pitty, true, that not Misha.
The German nurses left for Russia, & Maria had no time to see them, me they did not ask to see, probably hate me. —
Oh Treasure, how I long to be with you, hate not being near, not to be able to hold you tight in my arms & cover you with kisses — alone in yr. pain over the war news — yearn over you. God bless help, strengthen comfort, guard & guide. —
Ever yr. very own
Wify.
Nicholas's telegram:
Telegram. Stavka. 6 September, 1915.
Thank you with all my heart for your letter and the flowers, which have arrived quite fresh. It is cold, rainy, stormy. I hope that in a few days the news from that place will be better. I kiss all fondly.
NICKY.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria and Anastasia. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Grigori Rasputin.
Above: Baroness Sophie "Isa" Buxhoeveden.
Above: Anna Vyrubova.
Note: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".
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