Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated November 17, 1914, and his reply letter

Sources:

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=74

http://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/november14.html

Alexandra wrote this letter to Nicholas on November 17, 1914, the first day of another painful separation, as Nicholas frequently had to be away at army headquarters because of the war. He wrote his reply the next day.

The letter:

Tsarskoje Selo, Nov. 17-th 1914
My own beloved One,
The train will be carrying you far away from us when you read these lines. Once more the hour of separation has come — & always equally hard to bear. — The loneliness when you are gone, tho' I have our precious Children, is intense — a bit of my life gone — we make one.

God bless & protect you on your journey & may you have good impressions & shed joy around you & bring strength & consolation to the suffering.

You always bring »revival« as our Friend says. I am glad his telegram came, comforting to know His prayers follow you. —

Its good you can have a thorough talk with N. & tell him your opinion of some people & give him some ideas. May again your presence there bring goodluck to our brave troops. —

Our work in the hospital is my consolation & the visiting the specially suffering ones in the big palace. — I only dread Ania's humour — last times our Friend was there, once a bad leg, & then her little friend.

Lets hope she will hold herself in hand. I take all much cooler now & don't worry over her rudenesses & moods like formerly — a break came through her behaviour & words in the Crimea — we are friends & I am very fond of her & always shall be, but something has gone, a link broken by her behaviour towards us both — she can never be as near to me as she was. — One tries to hide one's sorrow & not pride with it — after all its harder for me than her, tho' she does not agree — as you are all to her & I have the children — but she has me whom she says she loves. — Its not worth while speaking about this, & it is not interesting to you at all.

It will be a joy to go & meet you, tho' I hate leaving Baby & the girlies. And I shall be so shy on the journey — I have never been alone to any big town — I hope I shall do all properly & your wife wont make a mess of herself. — Lovy my dear, huzy my very, very own — 20 years my own sweet treasure — farewell & God bless & protect you & keep you from all harm.

My light & sunshine, my very life & being. For all your love be blessed, for all your tenderness be thanked. I bless you, kiss you all over & gently press you to my deeply loving old heart.

Ever, Nicky my Own,
your very own
Wify.

I am so glad N. P. accompanies you, it makes me quieter knowing him near you and for him its such a colossal joy. —

Our last night together, its horribly lonely without you — and so silent — nobody lives in this story.

Holy Angels guard you and the Sweet Virgin spread her mantle of love around you. —
Sunny.

Nicholas's reply:

In the train. 18 November, 1914
MY BELOVED SUNNY AND DARLING WIFY,
We have finished breakfast and I have read your sweet, tender letter with moist eyes. This time I succeeded in keeping myself in hand at the moment of parting, but it was a hard struggle.

The weather is dismal; it is pouring with rain; there is very little snow left. When we moved off, I visited the gentlemen [of the suite] and looked in at each coupé. This morning I found among the papers of the Minister of War the paper relating to Rennenkampf and signed it. He will have to leave his Army. I do not know who Nic. has in view for his place.

What joy and consolation it would be if we could make the whole of this journey together! My love, I miss you terribly — more than I can express in words. Every day a courier will leave the town with papers. I shall try to write very often, as, to my amazement, I have come to the conclusion that I can write while the train is in motion.

My hanging trapeze has proved very practical and useful. I swung on it many times and climbed up it before meals. It is really an excellent thing for the train, it stirs up the blood and the whole organism.

I like the pretty frame which you have given me. It lies in front of me on the table for safety, because a sudden jerk might break the lovely stone.

All the miniatures are good, with the exception of Marie. I am sure that everyone will appreciate their merit. What a joy and consolation it is to know that you are well and are working so much for the wounded! As our Friend says, it is by God's grace that in such a time you can work so hard and endure so much. Believe me, my beloved, do not fear, I have more confidence in yourself when you are left alone, and all will go smoothly and prosperously.

May God bless you, my beloved Wify! I kiss you and the children lovingly. Sleep well and try to think that you are not lonely.

Your hubby
Nicky.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Above: Alexandra and Anna Vyrubova as nurses in the hospital with their patients.

Above: Grigori Rasputin, who Alexandra referred to as "Our Friend".