Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated October 27, 1914, and his telegrammed reply

Sources:

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=72

http://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/october14.html

The letter:

Tsarskoje Selo, Oct. 27-th 1914.
My own sweetest Nicky dear,
I have come earlier to bed, as am very tired — it was a buisy day, & when the girls went to bed at 11, I also said goodnight to Ania, her humour towards me has been not amiable this morning — what one would call rude & this evening she came lots later than she had asked to come & was queer with me. She flirts hard with the young Ukrainian — misses & longs for you — at times is colossaly gay; — she went with a whole party of our wounded to town (by chance) & amused herself immediately in the train — she must play a part & speak afterwards of herself the whole time & their remarks about her. At the beginning she was daily asking for more operations, & now they bore her, as they take her away from her young friend, tho' she goes to him every afternoon and in evening again.

Its naughty my grumbling about her, but you know how aggravating she can be. You will see when we return how she will tell you how terribly she suffered without you, tho' she thoroughly enjoys being alone with her friend, turning his head, & not so as to forget you a bit. Be nice & firm when you return & don't allow her foot-game etc. Otherwise she gets worse after — she always needs cooling down.

Her Father came with a report to me, then Svetchin about more motors he has got for our trains. — How is the news to-day, I wonder — she says our Friend is rather anxious — perhaps to-morrow He will see all better again, & pray all the more for success. My Becker wired from Varsovie telling about my squadrons 5 weeks amongst the enemy. They lost 1 officer & 23 men. I always kiss & bless your cushion in the evening & long for my Lovy.

I quite understand you had no time for writing & was grateful for your daily telegrams — & I know you think of me, & that you are occupied all day long. Dearest Treasure, this is my 7-th letter, I hope you get them alright. — Does N. P. photograph? He took his apparatus I think with him. — We had a letter from Keller again. — Css. Carlow's second daughter Merica is engaged to a Chevalier C. Orjevsky, who is only 22 — the mother is not contented. —

I saw in the papers that Greek Georgie & wife have left for Greece from Copenhagen via Germany, France & Italy — I am astonished one has let them through. —

What is Eberhardt doing? They have been bombarding Poti. —

Oh this miserable war! At moments one cannot hear it any more, the misery & bloodshed break one's heart; faith, hope & trust in God's infinite justice & mercy keep one up. — In France things go very slowly — but when I hear of success & that the Germans have great losses, I get such pang in the heart, thinking of Ernie & his troops & the many known names.

All over the world losses! Well, some good must come out of it, & they wont all have shed their blood in vain. Life is difficult to understand — »It must be so — have patience«, thats all one can say. —

One does so long for quiet, happy times again! But we shall have long to wait before regaining peace in every way. It is not right to be depressed but there are moments the load is so heavy & weighs on the whole country & you have to carry the brunt of it all.

I long to lessen your weight, to help you carry it — to stroke your brow, press you to myself. But we show nothing of what we feel when together, which happens so rarely — each keeps up for the others sake & suffers in silence — but I long often to hold you tight in my arms & let you rest your weary head upon my old breast. We have lived through so much together in these 20 years — & without words have understood each other. My brave Boy, God help you, give you strength & wisdom, comfort & success.

Sleep well, God bless you — holy Angels & Wify's prayers guard your slumber.

28-th. Good morning Darling! I slept very badly, only got off after 4 & then constantly woke up again, so tiresome, just when one needs a good rest. Its warmer to-day & grey weather. — Just before going to the hospital received your beloved letter — it was sweet of you to have rejoiced my heart like that — & I thank you from all my loving heart. — Certainly we shall come with greatest pleasure & let Voyeikov arrange all & say exactly, when to meet you — perhaps we can stop on the way out & see some hospital at Dvinsk or so — I have sent for Ressin to talk all over. — We shall then go off to Pskov to-morrow, sleep this night in the train, & be back to-morrow for dinner. Probably Babys train will arrive Thursday. — We saw Marie's at Alexander station — the most were wounded in the legs — came from Varsovie hospitals & Grodno. —

We are going to another hospital now directly. — I think, if its possible to stop perhaps at Dvinsk on the way to you, if there is time. R. is finding out about the hospitals (privately) — there we shall go as sisters (our Friend likes us to) & to-morrow also. But being with you at Grodno we shall dress otherwise, not to make you shy driving with a nurse. —

M. is coming at 9, & I shall tell him also your wish about Lavrinovsky.

Feeling myself a wound-up mashine which needs medicins to keep her up — seeing you, will help mightily.

I think of bringing Ania & Iza & O. Evg. & perhaps one maid for the 2 girls & me, & one for the ladies (to meet you) — the less people the better & to hang less on to your train afterwards. — Its best taking Ressin I think, as a military man. — Now must end. —

Blessings & kisses without end. The joy of seeing you will be intense — but hard leaving my Sunbeam. — Instead of Pskov, perhaps we might stop with you still in some other town. — I bless you over & over again — a whole week already to-day! Work is the only remedy. —

Ever your
very own old
Sunny.

Love to N. P.

Nicholas's reply telegram:

Telegram.
Stavka. 28 October, 1914
Thank you heartily for your letter and news. Of course I can see M. I am in full agreement about the question of change of Governor in the South. Wrote to you yesterday about my plans. I shall arrive in Grodno on the 1st of November in the morning. Shall spend the whole day there. Will you not meet me in that place? To-morrow I shall spend in Rovno, then two days in the fortress. Am longing for you passionately. Kiss you tenderly.
Nicky.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Above: Alexandra with Anna Vyrubova.

Above: Grigori Rasputin, whom Alexandra often called "Our Friend".