Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 28 to 30, by George Hawkins, 2023
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The letter:
Гатчина.
№-6.
27-го Апреля. 94.
9-го Мая.
Моя милая дорогая Аликс,
So many many tender kisses & thanks for the dear letter № 3, I just came back from town & saw it lying on my table with another one from Louise Fife. You are such a sweet little girl to write to me so often, I only wish you to go on writing to me like that & it never seems to be enough, when I have finished reading I would like so to have something more to read! Oh! it is a blessing to get your sweet letters if you [k]new what enormous pleasure it gives me, it nearly seems as if you had spoken to me & that revives me & keeps me in good spirits for the rest of the day. Where can you get those delightful verses from, I do enjoy them. —
You cannot barre love oute,
Father, mother, & you alle;
For, mark me, love's a crafty boy,
And, his limbes are very smalle;
He's lighter than the thistledoune,
He's fleeter than the dove,
His voice is like the nightingale;
And oh! beware of love.
—
Love give me strength,
And strength shall help afford. —
A heart unspotted is not easily daunted!
I'll be as patient as a gentle stream,
And make a pastime of each weary step,
Till the last step have brought me to my love:
And there I'll rest, as after much turmoil,
A blessed soul doth in Elysium.
O dear life! when shall it be
That mine eyes thine eyes shall see,
And in them thy mind discover?
Whether absence have had force
Thy remembrance to divorce
From the Image of thy lover. —
I am going to look for books that you would like to read, as I know many of our authors have been translated. It would be so nice if you know a little of literature before coming to Russia, darling!
I just received our two groups made by Russel at Rosenau, the big ones, I find them good. But if there are any small ones by him won't my sweet little thing order some for her лаусбуб. Your russian phrases in the beginning of your letter were charming, it is funny how different it seems to the eye a handwriting in another language, more so when it is one's own little lass who tries already to write in that chinese sort of language!
I cannot help stopping after each line & must read over again all the dear & kind things you say in your letter my own pretty little darling, beloved one!
Paul has spent the day with us; as if to teaze me he sung "noh a mal" to himself & I assure you, my love, it made the tears fill my eyes. I played it in the evening with Sandro, he said it reminded him of America; well me it reminded of something quite else! The evenings are much the worst time of the day, I don't know what to do if I am not writing to my own sweet little girly-darling! Luckily they have left me quiet with yr. ring. Fancy today it being a Wednesday it is exactly a week that we are separated! May time run quick! It is also poor Georgie's birthday he is 23; I got a letter fr. him that came back fr. Coburg, in which he sends you all kinds of tender messages. Mama wants to go to see him in a fortnight & she takes the first couple with her. She thought of taking me too, but as I have to go to the camp & I did not like the idea of making the distance between you & me still longer. Then certainly if I were to leave home, it would be for England sweety, there can be no doubt about it. — I have really much to do except the regiment with my Siberian railway comittee.
I forgot to tell I think that the day I arrived all the officers with Costia met me two stations before Gatchina, which was awfully kind of them. Then, last Monday, the first time I returned to the barracks all the men came of their own accord to greet me & were drawn up along that street called the Milionnaia. Isn't it nice of them? my little girly-dear. And all this is my sweet спицбуб's doing! My own men were standing in the court-yard & each company greeted me separately. I am in such a state now that I know I could not scold them, if any had done something wrong, whether I wished to get angry or not. Oh! it is so kind of you to say that everything concerning me interests you — therefore it shall be my regiment that will occupy my darling's attention. I am deeply devoted to our soldiers, when you know them a bit you will agree what pure, strong & faithful natures they are! Forgive me for this sweet one, but you must know, that there was nothing higher for me than military service. Now I must end. Good-bye my sweet own little darling Alix. God bless you! dearest one. + O
Ever yr. own & for ever & ever yr. true Nicky
Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev on Flickr.
Above: The group photos taken at the Rosenau in Coburg.
Notes: лаусбуб (Lausbub) = rascal. This was Alix's nickname for Nicholas.
спицбуб (Spitzbub) = rascal. This was Nicholas's nickname for Alix.
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