Zhanna Razumova
Tuesday, May 25, 2021
Monday, May 17, 2021
Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated April 28/May 10, 1894
Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 32 to 33, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
28 Апр./10 Мая. 1894 г.
No. 8.
Palais Anitchkoff.
Perspective de Nevsky.
Милая душка Аликс!
I am sitting here quite alone in the empty house & though completely ramolished or cretinized must write to you a few lines to thank my own darling for the sweet little No 5; I telephoned to Гатчина it was to be sent me over here, because I would never be patient enough to write still I go back there tomorrow & read it.
Oh! my lovely little girly-dear I feel so greedy for news from you that I look for your name in the Times & am pleased even with that short Court Circular where they only speak about Granny & driving out with this or that person. And when that person is my own little darling I rejoyce! I feel I am telling you such rot & such stupidities you might really get anxious about my mental condition. But as I told you I think yesterday, that all day long from 9 in the morning till 5 in the afternoon Costia has been inspecting the recruits of my battalion & I have been standing the whole time in idleness, till at length I felt my legs growing out of the back, a delightful sensation I can tell you. Oh! how I thought of my darling love & how thankful I felt that you were not there & had not to go through that trial. But that is the duty & one must not lament over such details if one is really devoted to one's service!
Now I must leave off my sweet one & go to my regiment again!
A bit of history now: the 3rd Company in my battalion since Peter the Great was composed of marines & it has a boat, in which officers of the regiments & their wives row about in the river. Every spring it is an old custom to hoist up the flag the first time the boat goes out; the band follows & many small steamers also with those who have no place in that boat. We did that yesterday & after a pretty cruize round the islands, which look lovely in spring, and supped altogether. It was then that Costia drank my sweet one's health & they yelled & bellowed — and then sent off to you the telegram.
Well! that is a fine dream you have had about u. Alexei, how naughty! But now my own beloved one I must end as the letter will [be] late for the post. Good-bye my own darling & God bless you +.
Ever dear love your own old Nicky
Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev on Flickr.
Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated April 27/May 9, 1894
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 31 to 32, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
27-го Апреля. 1894 г. Гатчина.
9-го Мая.
№-7.
My own darling little Alix,
Many many heartfelt thanks for your dear letter №-4; it is too delightful a feeling to know that at 1.0 o'clock regularly every day a letter from my love is lying waiting for me on the table! Oh! I wish I were with you instead of Gretchen picking the primroses, did I not enjoy it at the Rosenau.. (the paradise now (no more invitable). My darling, do you know I am very anxious about your poor legs, what can it be? Oh! do take care of yourself & follow the doctor's advices. Only is he a good medical man old Reid?
I am sending you here inclosed two monstrous faces of a cow, made in Athens when I was there two years ago. I cut them out of groups with Tino & Georgie because it would be too much for a letter to carry fat photos in it.
I write to you again, my sweet little girly-dear, to-day, as I am afraid I won't be free tomorrow, I shall start at 7.30 in the morning & will remain the whole day in town in the regiment. And if I did not write now, my darling Pelly (what remembrances) would not get this scribble the 13th, though I had promised to write every day! Verstanden, nichtwar? — Oh! my love, my sweet & beloved little bride, how awfully do I miss you! The more people are round about me the more lonely I feel. Today also, a number of acquaintances came from town for church & luncheon it being Georgie's birthday; we went out in the boats with them, Papa & Mama also; of course Xenia & Sandro rowed away together in a separate boat. It grieved me painfully to think of how happy I also might have been were my little girl here too. Fancy what fun we would have all four on the lake in this heavenly summer weather! Yes, but I must be patient & thank our God deeply for the happy though short a time he blessed me with the other day. Those were really heavenly sunny days (though it often rained) and I feel the same divine happiness overcoming me whenever I read over your sweet letters & my diary. Do you remember how well you caught up your diary after the first days were lost?
Dis-quel est l'amour véritable? Celui qui respire en autrui. Et l'amour le plus indomptable? Celui qui fait le moins de bruit.
Comment accroit-il sa richesse? C'est en donnant à chaques pas. Et comment parle son ivresse? L'amour aime et ne parle pas!
There! at last I found the reason!
I have just come up from a little concert our band played downstairs after dinner; there is a difference between this one & the stiff hofconcerts we heard in Coburg. Here we sit comfortably only 10 persons, those that dined & listened to sweet music. That, more than anything else makes me think of my own sweet one, who loves & understands music so well! But now my darling little girly-dear I must end this dull epistle. With many tenderest kisses here O for my own beloved Alix & may God bless you + I remain your's, my love,
for ever yr. devoted own old Nicky
Oh! my darling how I wish I might be near you & look straight into my sweet one's ocean-blue eyes!
I don't know what I would give to be able to press you, my love, to my heart! Once more God bless you + & good-night my own darling.
Your own лаусбуб. Nicky
I smoke very little & it seems an agreeable privation since it's your wish! my sweet love's wish!!!
Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev on Flickr.
Notes: "verstanden, nichtwahr?" = "understood, yes?"
"Dis-quel est l'amour véritable? Celui qui respire en autrui. Et l'amour le plus indomptable? Celui qui fait le moins de bruit. Comment accroit-il sa richesse? C'est en donnant à chaques pas. Et comment parle son ivresse? L'amour aime et ne parle pas!" = "Say, what is true love? That which breathes in others. And the most indomitable love? That which makes the least noise. How does it increase its wealth? It is by giving every step. And how does its intoxication speak? Love loves and does not speak!"
hofconcerts = court concerts.
лаусбуб (Lausbub) = rascal. This was Alix's nickname for Nicholas.
Two of Alexandra's diary entries, dated July 3, 1917 and July 4, 1917
Source:
Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook
The diary entries:
July 3 Monday
Irina's 22 BD
12-1 Maria — Proverbs of Solomon 27-end
2¼ - 5 in the garden.
5¼ - 6 Alexei Mark XIV 16-17
Last Supper, Washing of the feet, establishment of Holy Communion "love one another" (John XIII 23-35) Do not let your hearts be troubled (John XIV 1-31) I am the true vine (John XV XVI XVII) The Garden of Gethsemane — the prayer of Jesus Christ Matt XXVI Luke XXII 41-44 Matt XXVI 40-49 Luke XXII 48-50 The taking of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ before Caiaphas. Peter denies the Lord.
All four girls have had their hair quite shaved off, as it falls out in masses since their measles.
N read to us as usual.
...
July 4 Tuesday
10-11 Alexei: King Ethelred the unready. The Danes drove away the English princes to Normandy & Hungary and made Canute King. Canute rebuked his courtiers & improved the people — reigned 19 years (sons: Hardicanute, Harold Harefoot — Danes & Saxons made slaves of their poor & prisoners. King Edward the Confessor suffered his courtiers to rule him & the kingdom & promised that the Duke of Normandy shld be King. Some of his wise men made a book of laws. Harold the son of Earl of Godwin was made king. He was killed in the battle of Hastings 1066 & the D of N became King William the Conqueror 1066-1087. King Willm I made oppressive laws, took the land fr the English & gave it to the Norman barons' he caused Doomsday Book to be written — New forest made Curfew bell.
2¼ - 4¾ in the garden.
Al[exei] had his hair also completely shaved off.
N read aloud.
Above: Alexandra.
Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria, Anastasia and Alexei with their heads shaved.
Sunday, May 16, 2021
Nicholas's letter to Alix, dated April 27/May 9, 1894
Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 28 to 30, by George Hawkins, 2023
https://disk.yandex.com/mail?hash=kuDdHgzAhlj8Vmyce8roYrsV8lLetWtFFyElqTSKDCI%3D%3A
The letter:
Гатчина.
№-6.
27-го Апреля. 94.
9-го Мая.
Моя милая дорогая Аликс,
So many many tender kisses & thanks for the dear letter № 3, I just came back from town & saw it lying on my table with another one from Louise Fife. You are such a sweet little girl to write to me so often, I only wish you to go on writing to me like that & it never seems to be enough, when I have finished reading I would like so to have something more to read! Oh! it is a blessing to get your sweet letters if you [k]new what enormous pleasure it gives me, it nearly seems as if you had spoken to me & that revives me & keeps me in good spirits for the rest of the day. Where can you get those delightful verses from, I do enjoy them. —
You cannot barre love oute,
Father, mother, & you alle;
For, mark me, love's a crafty boy,
And, his limbes are very smalle;
He's lighter than the thistledoune,
He's fleeter than the dove,
His voice is like the nightingale;
And oh! beware of love.
—
Love give me strength,
And strength shall help afford. —
A heart unspotted is not easily daunted!
I'll be as patient as a gentle stream,
And make a pastime of each weary step,
Till the last step have brought me to my love:
And there I'll rest, as after much turmoil,
A blessed soul doth in Elysium.
O dear life! when shall it be
That mine eyes thine eyes shall see,
And in them thy mind discover?
Whether absence have had force
Thy remembrance to divorce
From the Image of thy lover. —
I am going to look for books that you would like to read, as I know many of our authors have been translated. It would be so nice if you know a little of literature before coming to Russia, darling!
I just received our two groups made by Russel at Rosenau, the big ones, I find them good. But if there are any small ones by him won't my sweet little thing order some for her лаусбуб. Your russian phrases in the beginning of your letter were charming, it is funny how different it seems to the eye a handwriting in another language, more so when it is one's own little lass who tries already to write in that chinese sort of language!
I cannot help stopping after each line & must read over again all the dear & kind things you say in your letter my own pretty little darling, beloved one!
Paul has spent the day with us; as if to teaze me he sung "noh a mal" to himself & I assure you, my love, it made the tears fill my eyes. I played it in the evening with Sandro, he said it reminded him of America; well me it reminded of something quite else! The evenings are much the worst time of the day, I don't know what to do if I am not writing to my own sweet little girly-darling! Luckily they have left me quiet with yr. ring. Fancy today it being a Wednesday it is exactly a week that we are separated! May time run quick! It is also poor Georgie's birthday he is 23; I got a letter fr. him that came back fr. Coburg, in which he sends you all kinds of tender messages. Mama wants to go to see him in a fortnight & she takes the first couple with her. She thought of taking me too, but as I have to go to the camp & I did not like the idea of making the distance between you & me still longer. Then certainly if I were to leave home, it would be for England sweety, there can be no doubt about it. — I have really much to do except the regiment with my Siberian railway comittee.
I forgot to tell I think that the day I arrived all the officers with Costia met me two stations before Gatchina, which was awfully kind of them. Then, last Monday, the first time I returned to the barracks all the men came of their own accord to greet me & were drawn up along that street called the Milionnaia. Isn't it nice of them? my little girly-dear. And all this is my sweet спицбуб's doing! My own men were standing in the court-yard & each company greeted me separately. I am in such a state now that I know I could not scold them, if any had done something wrong, whether I wished to get angry or not. Oh! it is so kind of you to say that everything concerning me interests you — therefore it shall be my regiment that will occupy my darling's attention. I am deeply devoted to our soldiers, when you know them a bit you will agree what pure, strong & faithful natures they are! Forgive me for this sweet one, but you must know, that there was nothing higher for me than military service. Now I must end. Good-bye my sweet own little darling Alix. God bless you! dearest one. + O
Ever yr. own & for ever & ever yr. true Nicky
Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev on Flickr.
Above: The group photos taken at the Rosenau in Coburg.
Notes: лаусбуб (Lausbub) = rascal. This was Alix's nickname for Nicholas.
спицбуб (Spitzbub) = rascal. This was Nicholas's nickname for Alix.
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