The Life of Empress Alexandra

Saturday, February 6, 2021

Alix's letter to Ernst, dated June 14/26, 1889

Source:

The Correspondence of the Empress Alexandra of Russia with Ernst Ludwig and Eleonore, Grand Duke and Duchess of Hesse, 1878-1916, edited by Petra H. Kleinpenning, 2010

The letter:

Darling Ernie,

I am quite ashamed that I have not written to you before, but I really had no time, & was lazy. —

Whilst Papa is at Stuttgart, I stay at Jugenheim. — I only drove in to-day, for my lessons. Irène arrives Friday, we hope to be at Seeheim for her Birthday, or before. —

To-day is Gretchen's 27th B: Day. — I gave her 3 little presents, & two large bouquets. As Pfr. Sell cld. not come, I had Toni from 9-10, & we walked with Gretchen to Feix & to the Herrngarten. Sahen einige Bekannte & Köckritz &c. —

Gräfin Bredo is at Schwalbach, — we saw her husband & Köckr: drive there Saturday midday, & return Sunday evening. — Toni leaves Saturday. She sends you both very many messages. The heat is very great to-day, & I am bursting.

Many tender kisses, from yr ever loving Alicky.

[P. S.] Excuse such a short letter, but have masters in 2 minutes. —

Above: Alix.

Above: Ernst.

Note: "Sahen einige Bekannte & Köckritz &c." = "Saw some acquaintances & Köckritz &c." (referring to Otto von Köckritz, who was Second Lieutenant in the 1st Grand Ducal Hessian Infantry, Life Guards Regiment No. 115)

Gräfin = Countess

Alix's letter to Toni Becker, dated March 1891

Source:

Briefe der Zarin Alexandra von Russland an ihre Jugendfreundin Toni Becker-Bracht (2009), edited by Lotte Hoffmann-Kuhnt

The letter:

Darmstadt Samstag März 1891

Mein liebes Kind,

Sei tausendmal geküsst & bedankt für Deinen lieben Brief vom vorigen Samstag. Ich habe eigentlich mein Italiensch zu lernen, denn die Lehrerin kommt in 5 Minuten, & ich weiss die Sätze noch nicht; aber was thut man nicht um einer alten Freundin, die sonst brummt, zu befriedigen. Zu erzählen habe ich Dir eigentlich nichts, d. h. doch, Bruder kommt am Montag.

— Ich gehe warscheinlich Ende Mai mit Papa nach England, & vorher nach Mainz.

— Das Erstere ist mir wenig recht. — Ich hasse von Darmstadt wegzugehen, & gerade jetzt, wenn es so schön zum Reiten ist. — Montag wieder. —

Hast Du in den Volksblättern gelesen, was die über mich und Nicky schreiben, & dann wird es mir von Menschen gezeigt, die natürlich nichts ahnen, & daß ist sehr schmerzlich, & die Wunde blutet von Neuem, ehe sie geheilt ist. — Ich freue mich immer so, wenn ich Dich am Fenster sehe, beim Reiten seltener, wie heim Fahren. Montag, Dienstag, Donnerstag, Freitag, dass sind gewöhnlich meine Reittage. —

So, eben schlägt es 10, die Lehrerin ist vor der Thür, & ich habe nichts gelernt — sie wird sehr böse sein —

Addio Deine Alte

Sei nicht erstaunt, wenn ich manchmal fremde Mädchen einlade, ich muss es aber höflichkeitshalber thun — trotz Langeweile.

English translation (my own):

Darmstadt, Saturday, March 1891

My dear Child,

I kiss you a thousand times & thank you for your lovely letter from last Saturday. I actually must be learning my Italian, because the Teacher is coming in 5 minutes & I don't know the sentences yet; but what not to do to satisfy an old friend who usually growls. I don't really have anything to tell you, that is, Brother comes on Monday.

— I'll probably go to England with Papa at the end of May, & before that to Mainz.

— I don't like the former. — I hate going away from Darmstadt, & especially now when it's so nice to ride. — Monday again. —

Have you read in the Volksblättern what they write about me and Nicky, & then it is shown to me by people who of course have no idea, & that is very painful, & the wound bleeds again before it is healed. — I am always so happy when I see you at the window, less often when riding, like driving home. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, these are usually my riding days. —

Well, it just strikes 10, the Teacher is at the door, & I haven't learned anything — she will be very angry —

Addio your Alte

Don't be surprised if I sometimes invite strange girls, but I must do it as a courtesy — despite boredom.

Above: Alix.

Above: Toni Becker.

Alix's letter to Toni Becker, dated May 1, 1890

Source:

Briefe der Zarin Alexandra von Russland an ihre Jugendfreundin Toni Becker-Bracht (2009), edited by Lotte Hoffmann-Kuhnt

The letter:

Donnerstag Abend um 10 Uhr. Darmstadt den 1ten Mai 1890

Meine süsse kleine Toni,

Ich schicke Dir rasch noch einige Zeilen, um Dir herzlich für Deinen lieben Brief zu danken, der mir viel Freude bereitete. Also Du gehst schon am Samstag fort, wie schade schon so bald, wenigstens für mich, denn ich hätte Dich doch zu gerne vor Deiner & unserer Abreise gesehen. Wir gehen Ende nächster Woche, — besonders amüsant wird es in Friedberg nicht sein, aber es ist wegen Papa's Knie, denn er kann dann immer nach Nauheim hinüber. Mein ältestes Nichtchen wird dort auch Bäder gebrauchen, und die alte Orchie.

— Mein Bruder ist heute Abend abgereist — er lässt Dich vielmals grüssen; ich habe ihm Deinen Auftrag ausgerichtet. Er kommt zu Pfingsten wieder, worüber ich mich sehr freue wie Du Dir denken kannst.

— Bitte schicke mir gleich morgen das Geld vom Schneeball, & lass mich zur selben Zeit wissen, um wieviel Uhr Du abreist nach Berlin. Wenn ich Dich nur noch einmal hätte sehen können, aber ich fürchte es geht leider nicht. Darum drücke ich einen Kuss hier auf das Papier. — Ach, ich habe mich diese letzten Tage so nach Dir gesehnt, denn ich war so unglücklich.

Ich habe meinem armen Vetter, Du weisst welchen, schreiben müssen, da er noch an mich denkt, um ihm meine Wünsche zu sagen. Der Arme dauert mich so; ich habe deutlich aber freundlich geschrieben — es thut mir so furchtbar leid, ihm so wehe zu thun, aber ich kann nicht anders. Ich habe in der Nacht so furchtbar geweint, — ich konnte die Thränen nicht mehr zurückhalten, — dass ich am nächsten Morgen ganz dick geschwollene Augen & Gesicht hatte. Alle glaubten glücklicherweise, es käme vom Schnupfen, da ich furchtbar erkältet war & bin, & dann kam noch mehreres dazu, mich zu betrüben, — unter Anderen, man hat mich so unhöflich & stolz gefunden, & so gar nicht freundlich & gesprächig. Kind, es ist hart, immer die alten Geschichten zu hören, & nie was gutes; es schmerzt warlich sehr — alle Bemühungen vergebens, man glaubt ich bin brummig, ich sehe so aus, & dass ich mir keine Mühe gäbe. Das ist doch hart. — Aber ich muss jetzt zu Bett; trocken werden die Augen nicht bleiben, am Abend muss man sich manchmal ausweinen, denn die zurückgedrängten Thränen thun so unendtlich weh. —

Addio. —

Gott segne Dich, u. möge Dein Aufenthalt in Berlin Dir gut bekommen, u. Dir Gelegenheit bieten, Deinen süssen Alex zu sehen.

Deine treue Alte

aeta for ever!!!! Treu bis zum Tod!!!! Gasparone!!!! —

English translation (my own):

Thursday evening at 10. Darmstadt, May 1st, 1890

My sweet little Toni,

I will quickly send you a few more lines to thank you warmly for your dear letter, which gave me great pleasure. So you are leaving on Saturday, what a shame so soon, at least for me, because I would have loved to see you before your and our departure. We are going at the end of next week — it won't be particularly amusing in Friedberg, but that is because of Papa's knee, because he can always go over to Nauheim then. My eldest little Niece will take baths there too, and old Orchie.

— My brother has left this evening — he sends you his best regards; I have given him your assignment. He will come again on Whitsunday, which I am very happy about, as you can imagine.

— Please send me the money from Snowball first thing tomorrow & let me know at the same time what time you are leaving for Berlin. If only I could have seen you one more time, but I'm afraid it won't work. That's why I put a kiss here on the paper — Oh, I've been longing for you these last few days, as I was so unhappy.

I had to write to my poor cousin, you know who, because he is still thinking of me to tell him my wishes. The poor man grieves me so; I wrote clearly but kindly — I am so terribly sorry to hurt him so, but I cannot help it. I cried so terribly in the night — I could no longer hold back the tears — so that the next morning I had very thickly swollen eyes and face. Luckily everyone believed that it came from the congestion, because I had a terrible cold, & then there were several things to sadden me — among others, one found me so rude & proud, & so was not at all friendly & talkative. Child, it is hard to always hear the old stories & never good; it truly hurts a lot — all efforts in vain, one thinks I am grumpy, I look like that, & that I wouldn't bother. It is hard. — But I must go to bed now; the eyes will not stay dry, in the evening one sometimes has to cry it out, as the tears that have been held back hurt so endlessly. —

Addio. —

God bless you, and may your stay in Berlin be good for you and give you the opportunity to see your sweet Alex.

Your faithful Alte

aeta for ever!!!! Faithful until death!!!! Gasparone!!!! —

Above: Alix with her older sisters Victoria and Irène. Photo courtesy of TatianaZ on Flickr.

Above: Toni Becker.

Notes: "My eldest little Niece" = Princess Alice of Battenberg (1885-1969).

Gasparone = an operette by Carl Millöcker that premiered in Vienna in 1884 and was very popular.

Alix's letter to Toni Becker, dated December 1888

Source:

Briefe der Zarin Alexandra von Russland an ihre Jugendfreundin Toni Becker-Bracht (2009), edited by Lotte Hoffmann-Kuhnt

The letter:

1888

Geliebte Toni,

Ich sende Dir meine kleine Weihnachtsgaben & Karte, mit den innigsten Glückwünschen zu diesem Weihnachten. Ich hoffe Du wirst das Armband immer tragen, & ich hoffe, dass das Hufeisen darauf Dir Glück bringen wird. Und frägt Dich eine, — wer gab Dir das? — So antworte nur eine Freundin. — Denke auch manchmal an mich, wenn Du in diesem Buch liest. —

aeta for ever

Meine Gedanken werden bei euch allen sein, das erste Mal, ohne euren geliebten Vater. — Es ist auch ein harter Schlag für uns alle gewesen, den teuren Onkel zu verlieren, — aber Gottes Will geschehe & nicht der unsere. —

Deine ewig treue Alix

Wir reisen am Sonntag Abend nach Kiel ab. —

English translation (my own; with original English in italics):

1888

Darling Toni,

I send you my little Christmas gifts & card, with most heartfelt congratulations for this Christmas. I hope you will always wear the Bracelet & I hope the Horseshoe on it will bring you luck. And if someone asks you "who gave you that?", then only answer a Friend. — Think of me sometimes when you read this book. —

aeta for ever

My thoughts will be with you all, for the first time, without your beloved Father. — It was also a hard blow for all of us to lose our dear Uncle, — but God's will be done & not ours. —

Your ever true Alix

We leave for Kiel on Sunday evening. —

Above: Alix. Photo courtesy of TatianaZ on Flickr.

Above: Toni Becker.

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated March 8, 1915, and Nicholas's telegram and letter, dated March 9, 1915

Sources:

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=112

https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/march15.html

The letter:

No. 54.

Tsarskoe Selo, March 8-th 1915

My own beloved One, I hope you get my letters regularly, I write and number them daily, also in my little lilac book. — Forgive my bothering you, by sending a petition, but one would like to help those poor people — I think it's the second time they write — kindly put a decision and send it to the minister of justice. —

I copied out a telegram it might amuse you to read, thanking our store for presents; I don't need it returned. Then a note from Marie to Drenteln.

What a good thing Memel has been taken, they did not expect this, I am sure, and it will be a good lesson to them. And everywhere the news, thank God, seem good, I have time to read up all now, lying in bed. — I am going over onto the sopha for 4½ already, bit by bit a little more, tho' every evening the heart is enlarged, and every day Ania asks me to come. — Glorious sunshine but very cold, they say. —

Ducky had a correspondant with her, and he wrote most interesting all she had done at Prasnish — she really does a lot with her unit, and is really under fire. Miechen promenades with her decoration to all exhibitions etc; you ought to find out really how she got it, and that such things don't happen again, and Tatiana neither. Ducky deserves it certainly. —

How sad the losses of the "Bouvet", "Irresistible" and "Ocean", so hideous to be sunk by floating mines and so rapidly too — not as tho' in battle. —

I had a letter from Victoria from Kent House — nothing new in it. Have, alas, nothing interesting to tell you. The children are lunching next door and making an unearthly noise. —

What joy sweetheart to have got another letter from you — it was just brought to me, and the nice postcards and the children's cards — we all thank over and over again and are very deeply touched you find time to write to us.

I see now why you did not go more forward, but surely you could go still to some place before returning, it would do you good and cheer the others up — anywhere. That drive must have been nice, but I understand the sad impression of those empty houses, probably many of them never to be inhabited by the same people again. Such is life — such a tragedy!

Did Sergei L. make a better impression upon you, less sure of himself and simpler? I at once sent Ania your message, it will have given her pleasure. She probably thinks that she alone is lonely without you. — Ah, she is greatly mistaken! But I know it's right you should be there and the change is good for you, only I should have wished more people to have profited and seen you. — I suppose you had service to-day. — The children went this morning. just heard Irene had a daughter (thought it would be a girl) glad it's over, poor Xenia worried about it all along. — It would have seemed more natural, had I heard that Xenia herself had borne a Baby. —

Such sunshine! The girls drove, now have gone to my red cross community, then to Ania and after tea the eldest go to Tatiana. Alexei has three of Xenia's boys. I am going to be up by ¼ to 5. —

Goodbye my Sunshine — don't worry if you can't write daily, you have much to do, and must have a little quiet too — and letter-writing takes you so much time.

God bless you, Nicky treasure, my very own huzy, I kiss and bless you and love you without ceasing.

Ever your very own wify

Alix

Nicholas's telegram:

Telegram. Stavka. 9 March, 1915.

Przemysl is taken. Praise be to God!

Nicky.

Nicholas's letter:

Stavka. 9 March. 1915.

MY BELOVED SUNNY,

How am I to thank you for your two charming letters and for the lilies? I press them to my face and kiss often the places which I think were touched by your dear lips. They stand on my table day and night; when the gentlemen pass my doors I give them the flowers to smell. God grant that I may return by the 11th — probably at 10 o'clock in the morning. What joy to be again in one's own nest snugly and closely (in every sense) together I just at this very minute, 11.30, Nicolasha came running into my carriage, out of breath and with tears in his eyes, and told me of the fall of Przemysl. Thanks be to God! For two days we have been waiting for this news with hope and anxiety. The fall of this fortress has an enormous moral and military significance. After several months of despondency, this news strikes as an unexpected ray of sunshine, and exactly on the first day of spring!

I began this letter in a calm mood, but now everything has been turned upside down in my head, so you must excuse the second part of this letter. Oh, my dear, I am so profoundly happy at this good news, and so grateful to God for His mercy! I have ordered a thanksgiving Te Deum to be sung at 2 o'clock in the local church, where I was present last year at the thanksgiving molebni! Yesterday I drove in a motor car to the same charming wood near the Scobolevsky Camp, and had a good walk on the other side of the big road — it was warm and thawing hard.

As Drenteln has hurt his ankle, Grabbe is taking his place at our games of dominoes; he is so amusing with the little Admiral that they make me and N. P. roll with laughter. I am thinking of sending Grabbe to the army in Przemysl with heaps of orders and thanks for the officers and men.

3 o'clock.

I have just returned from church, which was packed with officers and my splendid Cossacks. What beaming faces! Shavelsky spoke a few moving words; everyone was in a sort of paschal mood!

Well, good-bye, my treasure, my Sunny! May God bless you and the dear children! I am tremendously happy to return home again.

Always your old hubby,

Nicky.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.

Note: molebni (молебны) = prayer services.

Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated March 7, 1915, and Nicholas's telegram, dated March 8, 1915

Sources:

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=110

https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/march15.html

The letter:

No. 53.

Tsarskoe Selo, March 7-th 1915

My own beloved One, A week to-day you left us — it seems much longer. Your telegrams and precious letters are such a comfort and I constantly read them. — You see see I am looking after my tired old self, and to-day again only get up for 8 Ania won't understand it, the Dr., children and I explain it to her, and yet every day 5 letters and begging me to come — she knows I lie in bed, and yet pretends to be astonished at it — so selfish. She knows I never miss going to her when I only can, and dead tired too she still grumbles why I went twice daily to an unknown officer and does not heed Botkin's remark, that he needed me and that she always has guests all day long almost. My visits to her are as a duty she finds (I think) and therefore even often does not seem to appreciate them, whereas the others thank for every second given to them. It is quite good she does not see me some days — tho' last night 6-th letter complained she had had no good-night kisses nor blessings for so long. If she would kindly once remember who I happen to be, then she might learn to understand that I have other duties except her. 100 times I told her about you too, who you are, and that an E. [Emperor] never goes daily to a sick person — what would one think otherwise, and that you have your country first of all to think of, and then get tired from work, and need air and its good you should be with Baby out, etc. It is like speaking to a stone — she won't understand, because she goes before everybody. — She offers to invite officers in the evening for the children, thinking to get me like that, but they answered that they wished to remain with me, as its the only time we are quietly together. We have too much spoiled her — but I honestly find, as a daughter of our friends, she ought to grasp things better and the illness ought to have changed her. Now enough about her, it's dull — it has stopped worrying me as it used to, and only aggravates one, because of the selfishness. — It's cold, grey and snowing. — The girls wildly enjoyed your swimming bath — first the 2 little ones and then the eldest — I could not go. — I slept badly and feel weak and tired — so far the heart is not enlarged, it becomes so every afternoon — so I think I won't see anybody and remain completely quiet, then it may behave itself! — Had heaps of papers to read this morning from Rostovtsev etc.; Shulman was so grateful to hear about Osovetz, I told the children to tell him. — Baby's "Moscouits" are not far from there. Galfter wrote. Hope Drenteln's leg is better, bow to him and N. P.

Goodbye and God bless and protect you my precious Angel. Kisses without end from your own wify

Alix.

Nicholas's telegram:

Telegram. Stavka. 8 March. 1915.

Warmest thanks for letter, for the delightfully scented lilies, and two telegrams. I am very glad about Irina. The news is good from everywhere. I am leaving on Tuesday, shall be home on Wednesday morning. I kiss you fondly. Give her my kind regards.

Nicky.

Above: Nicholas and Alexandra.

Above: Anna Vyrubova.

Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Letter to Alexandra from Alexei, dated July 19, 1916

Source:

Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=239930961084625&id=108838347527221

The letter:

Mogilev 19 July

Dear, sweet Mama,

Yesterday I got a present from General Dubensky — two spoons and other things which he brought from his position. Yesterday, there was an awful wind but it was warm. We went for a ride on the "Desna" again. Makarov was with us. It is so much fun playing with him. Seryozha made everyone laugh at the town garden again. V. N. has gone to take P. V. P. to the station. Thank you for the letter. May God protect you all+!

A. Lyolya.

Above: Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev on Flickr.

Above: Alexei and Zhenya Makarov (with Tatiana) on a motor boat at Mogilev, 1916.