GMZ Tsarskoe Selo
Wednesday, October 23, 2024
Wednesday, July 3, 2024
Alix's letter to Xenia, dated April 30, 1894
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 327 to 328, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
April 30th 1894
My darling little Xenia,
I send you my most tender thanks for the sweet little egg and lovely little brooch. I was deeply touched at yr having thought of me. The others are all in Church and I am sitting alone, so use the opportunity for writing to my Chicken.
Alas! only two days and then we part, I feel miserable at the idea — but what can't be cured must be endured. You are to be envied seeing Sandro every day, and I shall not see my Nicky for over a month.
I cannot describe my happiness O it is too great and I can only thank God on my knees for having guided me thus. And what an angel the dear Boy is, how glad you will be to have him back again. You will write to me some times, won't you, if Sandro is not the whole day with you. Give him my love.
We went for a drive yesterday in the rain, but not to the Rosenau, to-day I have no doubt we shall go there. I am going to spend a night at Darmstadt on my way to England so shall see the young couple again — they look so happy and content, but it does seem too funny Ernie being married.
It is so damp to-day that I have had to have a fire made.
Now enough for to-day. With many a loving kiss I remain
Ever yr very loving old Hen
Alix
Above: Alix.
Above: Xenia.
Alix's official letter to Marie Feodorovna, dated April 29, 1894
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 326 to 327, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Madame,
Your Imperial Majesty, having kindly and with grace conferred on me the 1st class of the Order of St Catherine, I thank You very humbly with all my heart, as well as His Majesty the Emperor, for the very gracious distinction that Your Majesty has intended for me.
I beg Your Majesties to kindly accept the testimony of the most sincere attachment that I have for them.
Your very devoted future daughter-in-law
Alex
Princess of Hesse and by Rhine
Coburg
April 29, 1894
Above: Alix.
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Above: Marie Feodorovna.
Alix's Easter poems for Nicholas, dated April 29, 1894
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 324 to 326, by George Hawkins, 2023
The poems:
Easter, April 29th 1894
Palais Edinburg, Coburg
Pray for all those you love thee
All who are loved by thee
Pray too for those who hate thee
If any such there be.
The for thyself a blessing
In meekness humbly claim
And back with each petition
Thy Great Redeemer's Name
—
I want a heart not heeding
What others think or say,
I want a humble spirit
To listen and obey
To serve Thee without ceasing
'Tis but a little while,
My strength, the Master's promise
My joy, the Master's smile.
Oh! Jesus Christ my Master
I come to Thee to-day,
I ask Thee to direct me,
In all I do or say.
I want to keep my promise
To be Thy servant true
I come to Thee for orders
Dear Lord, what shall I do?
—
Hush my dear, lie still and slumber
Holy angels guard thy bed!
Heavenly blessings without number
Gently falling on thy head.
—
I dreamt that I was happy
A soft voice whispered near
And bid me raise my drooping head
And nothing more to fear
I dreamt that through this dreary world
The more the wanderer roved
I dreamt the bliss too deep for earth!
I dreamt that I was loved
Bright faces smiled upon me
Sof[t] music floated around
And all was hope and love and joy
On that unbaunted ground
One smiled upon me lovingly,
My eyes to him were raised
And in that depth of light I read
His secret as I gazed.
—
Let them love now who never loved before
Let them who always loved now love the more.
To my own darling Nicky, with every possible good wish and blessing for Easter April 29th 1894, Coburg
Fr yr deeply loving old Alix
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Alix's and Nicholas's telegram to Marie Feodorovna, dated April 28, 1894
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 324, by George Hawkins, 2023
The telegram:
Telegram
28 April 1894
Tenderest thanks for magnificent present order sweet Easter eggs and dear letters quite overcome are writing best love. Christos Voskres
Alix, Nicky
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Above: Marie Feodorovna.
Note: "Christos Voskres" ("Христос Воскрес") = "Christ is Risen".
Alix's and Nicholas's telegram to Marie Feodorovna, dated April 25, 1894
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 322, by George Hawkins, 2023
The telegram:
Telegram
25 April 1894
Our very best thanks for dear letter with singers. Think much of you, wish you were here, delight in the weather. Tender kisses.
Alix Nicky
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Above: Marie Feodorovna.
Alix's and Nicholas's telegram to Marie Feodorovna, dated April 24, 1894
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 322, by George Hawkins, 2023
The telegram:
Telegram
24 April 1894
Returned yesterday evening from Darmstadt, spent charming day with Ducky, Ernie, lovely summer weather. Could not feel happier. Of course give Your letter. We both send our tender love,
Alix Nicky
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Above: Marie Feodorovna.
Alix's letter to her aunt and future mother-in-law Marie Feodorovna the day after her engagement to Nicholas, dated April 21, 1894
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 320 to 321, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Palais Edinburg, Coburg
April 21st 1894
My darling Auntie,
I must send you a few lines to tell you how intensely happy I am. Such loving thanks for your letter, which touched me deeply. It has been a fearfully hard strugle, but with God's help I hope I may learn to love my darling Nicky's Religion, and make him a true, loving and honest wife. I cannot say all that is in my heart, but you can imagine, Auntie dear, what my feelings are. He is much too good for me. We went to the Thanksgiving Service yesterday to-gether, now they are all in Church.
We are going for a night to Darmstadt, as Ernie and Ducky must see us in our happiness and I am longing to go and say a prayer at the graves of my beloved Parents. At such a moment it is so especially hard not to have them and to be without their blessing. But Auntie dear, you will love me a little bit, for sweet Nicky's sake, won't you? I love you already so dearly.
I cannot write any more to-day.
Goodbye, darling Auntie, and kissing your dear hand and Uncle Sacha's most tenderly, I remain,
Your very loving and affecti[onate] Niece,
Alix
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Above: Marie Feodorovna.
Alix's letter to Xenia, dated April 10, 1894
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 316 to 317, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
April 10th 1894
Душка Ксеніи,
A tender kiss and best thanks for your dear letter and the charming photos. It seems too funny to think that you are about to be married. God bless you, my sweet Child and may you have every possible happiness.
Darling, why did you speak about that subject wh we never wanted to mention again? It is cruel, as you know it never can be — all along I have said so, and do you think it is not already hard enough to know you are hurting just the person whom of all other you wld long to please. But it cannot be — he knows it — and so do not I pray you, speak of it again. I know Ella will begin again, but what is the good of it, and it is cruel always to say I am ruining his life — can I help it, when to make him happy I should be committing a sin in my conscience. It is hard enough as it is, and beginning about it again and again is so unkind. You, who have found what your heart has desired, think only kindly of me, tho' I am grieving you too. One worry and sorrow follows the other — in 5 days we are off to Coburg for Ernie's Wedding — what my feelings are you can imagine. God grant they may be happy — she is such a dear. I am going to England for two or three months, as I shld only be in their way here.
The heat is great, but everything is so green and lovely, and all the fruittrees in bloom — too beautiful, we spend many hours in the woods.
Goodbye my little Chicken, many a loving kiss from yr ever devoted old
Alix
Best love to Sandro
Above: Alix.
Above: Xenia.
Note: "Душка Ксеніи" = "Darling Xenia".
Excerpt from Alix's letter to Queen Victoria, dated January 29, 1894
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 315, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Darmstadt
Jan 29st 1894
Darling Grandmama
Your dear letter touched me deeply, and I hasten now to thank you for it tenderly. All you said was so good and comforting, and your never changing kindness and affection help me to be happy for dear Ernie's sake. It does one's heart good to see how they love each other & how contented they are — but my feelings are very mixed, as you can well imagine dear Grandmama & I miss my beloved Papa more than ever. The whole country rejoices at the prospect of Ernie's marriage & I am sure they will have no reason to be disappointed in his choice...
Above: Alix.
Above: Queen Victoria.
Nicholas's telegram to Alexandra, dated September 22, 1915
Source:
The telegram:
Telegram. Stavka. 22 September, 1915.
I am leaving at 4.30, hope to arrive at 10 in the morning. To-day I saw Sandro. The news is good. Hearty thanks for dear letter yesterday evening. I kiss you all fondly.
NICKY.
Above: Alexandra.
Above: Nicholas.
Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated September 20, 1915, and Nicholas's telegrams, dated September 19 and 20, 1915
Sources:
Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923
The letter:
No. 128.
Tsarskoje Selo, Sept. 20-th 1915
My own beloved Darling,
I read the papers this morning with much interest — the promised explanation of our position at the war, clearly put & the work of a month that you are there keeping the enemy at bay. —
A grey, rainy morning again but not cold. — This afternoon we have a Te Deum in the red cross & then I give the diplomas to the ladies who have finished their courses as nurses & received the red cross. We are always in need of nurses, many get tired, ill, or wish to go out to the front positions to receive medals. The work here is monotonous and continual — out there, there is more excitement, constant change, even danger, uncertainty & not always much work to be done; certainly it is far more tempting. One of our Trepov's daughters worked nearly a year in our Invalid's hospital — but after her Mother's death she always felt restless, so off she went — & has already received the medal on the St. George's ribbon. — I send you a letter from Bulatovitch he sent you through Ania & a summary of her talk with Beletzky — that does indeed seem a man who could be most useful to the minister of the Interior, as he knows everything — Dzhunkovsky eat him out; just when one needs to have all the threads in hand. He says everywhere one complains of Stcherbatov's inactivity & not understanding of his work & duties. Has very bad opinion of fat Orlov & feels sure that my long lost letter from the Standart in C.(rimea) to Ania in the country is in Orlov's hands. Says Dzhunkovsky gave over those filthy papers about our Friend to Maklakov's brother, as they intend bringing up that question in the Duma & papers. — But God grant, if you find Khvostov suitable, he will put a stop to all.
Luckily he is still here & even went to Goremykin to place all his ideas before the old man. Andronnikov gave Ania his word of honour, that nobody shall know, that Khvostov comes to Ania (she sees him in her house, not in the palace) or Beletzky, so that her & my name will remain out of this. — Alas Gadon & Sherv. seem to spread very many bad things about Gregory, as Dzhunkovsky's friend of course — & knowing poor Ella's ideas & wishing to help — thus he does mischief — before others' eyes sets Elagin against Tsarskoje Selo & that is bad & wrong — & its he who ennervates Xenia & Motherdear, instead of keeping them up bravely & squashing gossip.
It was with deepest joy that I received your precious, tender letter — your warm words did my yearning heart good. Yes, my treasure, separation draws one yet closer together — one feels so greatly what one misses — & letters are a great consolation. Indeed he foretold most accurately the length of time you would remain out there. Still I am sure you long to have more contact with the troops, & I shall be glad for you when you will be able to move a bit. Of course this month was too serious — you had to get into your work & plans with Alexeiev & the time has been such an anxious out there — but now thank God, all seems going satisfactorily.
Tell Grabbe I am delighted with his proposition — Viltchkovsky wanted the new barracks badly & wrote I believe to him & Voyeikov about it — I said I could say nothing until you came. Long ago I had my eye upon it — but discreetly held my tongue — now I can only say I am enchanted — it is near the station — so big & lofty & clean, brand new & we have an red cross station waiting to be placed. Thank him very much from me. — The old man has asked to see me at 6 to-morrow, probably to give over things to you, or to tell about Khvostov's talk. — It will be interesting what he will tell about the sitting at Moghilev. What a beautiful telegram from our Friend & what courage it gives you to act firmly. — Certainly, as soon as Samarin goes, one must clear out the members of the Synod and get others in. Our Friend's wife came, Ania saw her — so sad & says he suffers awfully through calumnies & vile things one writes about him — high time to stop all that — Khvostov & Beletzky are men to do that. — Only one must get the 2 Khvostov to work well together — all must unite. But about Sazonov what do you think, I wonder? I believe, as he is a very good & honest (but obstinate) man, that when he sees a new collection of Ministers who are energetic, he may draw himself up & become once more a man — the atmosphere around him cought hold of him & cretinised him. There are men who become marvels in time of anxiety & great difficulties — & others show a pittiful side of their nature. Sazonov needs a good stimulant — & once he sees things "working well" instead of fomenting & at the same time dropping to pieces — he will feel his backbone grow. I cant believe he is as harmful as Stcherbatov & Samarin or even my friend Krivoshein — what has happened to him? I am bitterly disappointed in him. Lovy, if you have an occasion in the train, speak to N. P. & make him understand, that you are glad to make use of me. He wrote to me once very upset that one mentions my name so much & that Goremykin sees me etc. & he does not understand that its my duty, tho' I am a woman, to help you when & where I can, once you are away, all the more so. Don't say I mentioned it, but bring the conversation onto that topic à deux. He has a cousin's husband in the Duma & perhaps he sometimes tries not rightly to tell him things or influence him. He told Axel Pistolkors that I give officers Gregory prayer belts — such rot, one loves those belts with different prayers & I give them to every officer that leaves to the war fr. here — & two whom I never saw begged for them fr. me with a prayer to Father Seraphim. — One told me that those soldiers that wore them in the last war were not killed.
I see N. P. so rarely to talk to longer, & he is so young & I always lead him all these years — & now he suddenly comes into quite a new life — sees what hard times we are going through & trembles for us. He longs to help & of course does not know how to. I fear Petrograd will fill his ears with horrors — please tell him not to heed what one says, because it can make one wild — & nasty ones drag my name about a good deal. —
We were in Church this morning, later drove & after the red Cross called on Silaiev. — His wife is so like her son Raftopulo, too amusing — their little Children are sweet. Now our 5 Chicks are at Ania's in the big palace, playing with Rita Khitrovo & Irina Tolstaya. —
What intense joy — on three days, God grant, we shall have you back again — its too beautiful. My love, my joy, I await you with such eagerness.
Goodbye, Sweetheart, I bless & kiss you without end with deep & true devotion, better, better every day. Sleep well, agooweeone. — I shall still write to-morrow, if a man goes to meet you, as may have something to tell after my talk with Goremykin.
Ever, precious Nicky mine, yr. own, tenderly loving old wife
Alix.
Nicholas's telegrams:
Telegram. Stavka. 19 September, 1915.
Thanks for dear letter. I remember Khvost. I should like to see him on Wednesday at 6 o'clock; could you not tell him? ...
—
Telegram. Stavka. 20 September, 1915.
Warmest thanks for dear letter and two telegrams. I have given your greetings to Grabbe. Amazing, heavenly weather; for the last three days 16. deg. in the shade. Have had a delightful trip on the river, rowing with my gentlemen, in three boats. I kiss you and the children tenderly.
NICKY.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Notes: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".
Rasputin's wife was Praskovia Dubrovina.
Alexandra's letter to Nicholas, dated September 19, 1915, and Nicholas's telegram and letter, dated September 18 and 19, 1915
Sources:
Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923
The letter:
No. 127.
Tsarskoje Selo, Sept. 19-th 1915
My own sweet Darling,
To-day its four weeks you left us, it was a Saturday evening — Aug. 22-nd. Thank God we may hope to see you soon back again, in our midst — oh what a joy that will be!
Grey & rainy again. —
Thanks for having at once answered me about Yussupov, I directly telegraphed it on to Ella, it will quieten her. —
I am glad Vorontzov's escorts were so nice. How will it all be there now — that nest collecting again together — & Stana has taken there Krupensky's wife as her lady — her husband did the most harm in the talking set at the old Headquarters — & is not a good man. One must have an eye on their behaviour the whole time, they are a dangerous foe now — & as not being good people, our Friend ends your telegr.: "In the Caucasus there is little sunshine". — It hurts one that he should have changed so, but those women turn their husbands round their fingers. —
I see Ducky has been to Minsk to visit hospitals & refugees! Boris is coming to tea. — I placed my candles at Znamenia & prayed so earnestly for my Love. Then I went to our hospital & sat knitting in the different wards — I take my work so as to keep from being in the dressing station, wh. always draws me there. I only did one officer. — In the morning I finished Rost. papers, wh. I could not get done with before, tho' I read till 2 in the night in bed. —
I saw Dr. Pantiukhin fr. Livadia & we spoke about all the hospitals, sanatoriums wh. he hopes can begin their work in Jan., it will be a great boon when they are ready. —
We drove to Pavlovsk, mild, fr. time to time rained. —
Boris told me about his new nomination, wh. has overjoyed him I think, as he will have a lot to do — then I had Isa with papers. At 7 I shall go to Church with Baby. Grabbe wrote to his wife that the ministers' sitting had been stormy & that they wont do as you bid, but that you had been very energetic, a real Tsar — & I was so proud when Ania told me this — ah Lovy, do you feel yr. own strength & wisdom now, that you are yr. own master & will be energetic, decisive & not let yourself be imposed upon by others. — I liked the way Boris spoke of you & the great change in the Headquarters, & how one always gets news there now from all sides, & how cheerful you are.
God be blessed — our Friend was right. — I had a wire fr. my Vesselovsky, that he is ill & had to go from the regiment to look after his health. — Perhaps you are in Church at the same time as we are, that will be a nice feeling. — My supply train No. 1 is at Rovno & fr. there goes out & with a motor column, wh. a Prince Abamelek (fr. Odessa) formed & gave me (he is with it) they take things linnen etc. along the whole front — & they continued without harm under heavy firing — I am so glad Mekk wired fr. Vinnitsa where my big store is. — Varnava has left for Tobolsk, our Friend said we were to send him back. The old man said he was no more to show himself at the Synod. One anounces Samarin's return fr. th. Headquarters & that he at once began the work about Varnava & that he must be dismissed. Please forbid this if it is true & should reach you. — I must end now & dress for Church. Every evening fr. 9-9½ Marie, Baby, I and either Mr. Gilliard or Vladimir Nikolaievitch play "Tishe Yedesh, Dalshe Budesh." — Dinner is very cosy in the middle of the playroom. — Goodnight my beloved One, God bless and protect you guard & guide you & I cover you with kisses
Ever, Nicky, mine yr. very own loving
Wify.
I see the French people Monday at 4½, as they lunch at Elagin. Its such scandle — no flower to be had in town nor here — people stand in long files in the streets before the shops.
Abominably organised, Obolensky is an idiot — one must foresee the things — not wait till they happen. —
Nicholas's telegram:
Telegram. Stavka. 18 September, 1915.
I have immediately ordered the old man to find out about old Felix. I think it is a misunderstanding. The French General D'Amade and two officers are here, sent by Joffre. Tomorrow they are leaving for town. They will ask to be received by you; please see them. Good-night. I kiss You fondly.
NICKY.
Nicholas's letter:
Mogilev. 18 September, 1915.
PRECIOUS BELOVED SUNNY,
Your dear letters move me so deeply that I am quite in despair at being unable to answer in the same manner. I give you, perhaps, only a tenth part of what you give to me by your loving lines.
I find that, the longer our separation lasts, the deeper and firmer become the ties which bind us. A month is much. It is strange how accurately our Friend foresaw the length of time during which I was to be absent: "Thou wilt spend a month there, and then wilt thou return." Now when I leave, our Cossacks (the escort) will, of course, remain here; the other half is stationed at Tsarskoe; so Grabbe has asked me to put the barracks at your disposal — the new ones — for your wounded, till the end of the war. He came and asked me to write to you about it, knowing that this will give you pleasure.
I have just received your last dear letter of the 17th, in which you speak of the good impression which young Khvostov made on you. I was sure of it, knowing him of old, when he was Governor of Vologda, and later in Nijni. And in order not to lose time, I shall see him immediately on the day of my return, at 6 o'clock. Perhaps the elder Khvostov will do for S.'s place.
The day after our conference he asked permission to see me, and came in trembling with indignation against the others. He wanted to know whether I wished to keep him. I naturally said that I wished to do so — but now he will occupy another post. I did not tell him this, as I did not know it myself then.
19 September
It is true that the old man mentioned Kryjanov, but I rejected him. Krasheninnikov is an excellent, energetic man, and will be all right in the capacity of Minister of Justice. These are the chief questions, which I consequently hasten to answer. And now I must finish. God bless you, my precious, beloved little Birdie! Passionately and tenderly I kiss you and the children! Thank A. for her letter.
Always your old hubby
NICKY.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev on Flickr.
Above: Ella.
Above: Alexei.
Above: Grigori Rasputin.
Above: Maria.
Notes: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".
Tishe Yedesh, Dalshe Budesh (Тише Едешь, Дальше Будеш) = The quieter you go, the further you'll be.
Tuesday, July 2, 2024
Alexandra's second letter to Nicholas of September 17 and 18, 1915
Source:
Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923
The letter:
No. 126.
Tsarskoje Selo, Sept. 17 th 1915
My own beloved Angel,
Only a word before going to sleep. Have been so anxious all evening because I got no telegram from you, at last whilst my hair was being done it came at 5.m to 12 — think, how slow it went, it left the Headquarters at 9.56 & reached here 11.30, & I fool got nervous & anxious. I sent you two wires because of Khvostov & hoped you would mention a wee word. I asked you by letter some days ago about seeing him as he wanted it & you did not answer, & now he begged again before going to the country & therefore I wired it in the morning, & at 8.30 after seeing him. — So thankful, you say news continues good — that means very much, & people's spirits will rise. — Misha wired, to thank for my letter, from Orsha — thats good you will have him with you afterwards again. Marie said Dmitri wrote that he comes here with you, why Darling, Paul earnestly begs for you to send him to the regiment, he asked again when he took tea with me on Monday. — Marie looks alright, her hair is growing thick — she has worries with her chief Dr. & wants to get rid of him. — The Orlovs are still in town it seems & continue talking — Fredericks must forbid it, its disgraceful, only the old man must not use any name again. — Fancy, Stana has sent away her faithful Mlle Peterson — I suppose she suddenly found the name too German & will choose a Caucasian lady to help her & be popular. Oh, wont she try to charm all there! — Now I must try and sleep. I have blessed & kissed & laid my head upon your empty cushion as usual. It only can receive my kisses, but, alas, cannot respond to them. — Sleep well, Sweetheart & see wify in your dreams & feel her arms caressingly around you. God bless you, holy Angels guard you, good-night my Treasure, my Sunshine, my long-suffering Job. —
18th. Good-morning wee One — grey & pouring — I found the evening so lovely, moon & stars shining, that I even opened half the window (ventilator always) — & then now, when I drew up the curtains, I was quite disappointed & only 6 degrees again. — As am feeling better, want to peep in to Ania in the big Palace (after Znamenia) on my way to a new young officer who has just come — only 20 years old, with a bad wound in the leg, Vladimir Nikolaievitch thinks it ought to be taken off, as blood-poisoning is setting in there & in the wound in the shoulder — he feels well, does not complain, that is always a bad sign — so difficult to decide when death is so near leave him to die in peace or risk it, I should, as there always is a flicker of hope when the organism is so young, tho' now very weak & high temp. — seems 7 days he was without having his wound dressed, wretched boy, — & so I want to have a look at the child. I have not been into that room for 6 months — no, I was there once since my poor Grabovoy died. — From there I will go to our hospital, as have not been there for a week & I miss them & they even old me. One says one of my lancers, a volunteer Lüder (something like that) has come to us — not wounded but squashed somehow, they could not explain it properly. —
With pleasure I continue thinking over Khvostov's talk & wish you had been there too — a man, no petticoats — & then one who will not let anything touch us, & will do all in his power to stop the attacks upon our Friend, as then he stopped them & now they intend beginning again, & Stcherbatov & Samarin wont certainly oppose, on the contrary for popularity's sake. I am bothering you with this talk, but I should like to convince you, having honestly, calmly the opinion that this (very fat young man of much experience) is the one you would approve of & that old woman who writes to you I should say too — He knows the Russian peasant well & closely having been much amongst them — & other types too & does not fear them. — He knows too that fat Priest, now archimandrite. I think, Gregory's & Varnava's friend, as he helped them 4 years when he was governor during the bad years, & he spoke so well to the peasants & brought them to reason. He finds a good Priest's influence should always be used & he is right — & they arranged together for St. Paul Obnorsky & he is now at Tobolsk or Tiumen & therefore Samarin & company told Varnava they do not approve of him & will get rid of him — his body is colossal Ania says, but the soul high and clear. —
I told Khvostov how sad I find it, that evil intentioned have always far more courage & therefore sooner success — upon wh. he rightly answered, but the others have the spirit & feeling to guide them & God will be near them, when they have good intentions & guide them. —
The Zemstvo Union, wh. I too find has spread too far & taken too many things in hand, so as that later one can say, the Government did not enough look after the wounded, refugees, our prisoners in Germany etc. & the Zemstvo saved them, ought to have been held in bounds by Krivoshein, who set the things going — a good idea, only needed watching carefully as there are many bad types out at the war in their hospitals & feeding stations. Finds Krivoshein too much in contact with Gutchkov. — Khvostov in his paper never attacked german names of the Barons or devoted servants, when they speak of this German influence but drew all the attention upon the banks, wh. was right, as nobody had yet — (& the Ministers saw their faults). He spoke of the food & fuel question — Gutchkov, member of the Petrograd Duma, even forgot that, probably intentionally so as that one should throw the fault upon the government. And it is its very criminal fault not having thought — months ago of getting big stocks of wood — we can have disorders on that account & quite comprehensible — so one must wake up & set people working. Its not your busines to go into these details — it is Stcherbatov, who ought to have seen to that with Krivoshein & Rukhlov — but they occupy themselves with politics — & try to eat away the old man. — Well, I was happy to receive your dear letter from yesterday, & thank you for it from the depths of my heart. I understand how difficult it is for you to find time to write, & I am therefore doubly happy, when I see your dear handwriting & read your loving words. You must miss Misha now — how nice that you had him staying with you, & I am sure that it must have done him good in every sense. — I am enchanted, if you need not have to change the Headquarters, I was quite sad about it, just on account of the moral side, and as God blesses the troops & really things seem to be going better, & we keep firm where we are — then no need for you to move. — But what about Alexeiev remaining alone — you wont get Ivanov to share the work & responsability with him & there you can be more free in your movements to Pskov or wherever you wish. — Well dear, there is nothing to be done with those Ministers, and the sooner you change them, the better. Khvostov instead of Stcherbatov & instead of Samarin there is another man I can recommend devoted old N. K. Shvedov, — but of course I do not know if you find a military man can occupy the place of Over-Procurator of the Holy Synod. — He has studied church history well, has a known collection of Churchbooks — in being at the head of the Accademy for Oriental studies, he studied the Church too — is very religious & devoted beyond words (calls our Friend Father Gregory) & spoke well of him when he saw & had occasion to speak to his former scholars in the army, when he went to see Ivanov. He is deeply loyal — now you know him much better than I do & can judge whether its nonsense or not — we only remembered him, because he longs to be of use to me, to make people know me & be a counterbalance to the "ugly party" — but such a man in a high place is good to have, but as I say, you know his caracter better than I do, otherwise — Khvostov of the justice & the other one in his place, when I mentioned to you the other day, who clears up the stories at Moscow, but whom instead of longnosed Sazonov, if he will be an opponent the whole time! —
I received this from Ella to-day, as she read in the papers that Yussupov is retired from the service: — not said, that according to his petition wh. wld. have sounded prettier & this makes people probably think he did not act well. He wld. gladly (I believe) have returned, had one given him the military power he asked for, but she spoiled all. Well, he is no loss there, tho' I am sorry it was not better worded, & he meant honestly — you might have written a wee word if you had had time but its true, one does not ask ones demission in time of war: "Just read old Felix officially suspended, when he wrote asking demission, must be an error, cant one do something as most painful impression, even people sent away one puts "in accordance with request". I have also wired it to you, as don't know what to answer her. One must make the difference, I find, between a Dzhunkovsky & a Yussupov, the one utterly false — the other stupid but honestly devoted. —
Paul's wife was alright, but bored me with her way of saying how devoted she is etc.: Ladung's lovely daughter marries on Sunday, my Godchild, so I blessed her to-day! The afternoon I remained quiet & Ania read to me. In the morning I was with that poor boy & then in our hospital, sat knitting and talking. — Wet, grey day. — Ania had a long conversation with Mme Zizi about our Friend & Orlov & cleared up many things to her. She made her promise not to tell on the story of Orlov at the Headquarters & N. P. telegr.: — she was horrified & went green — and said she remembers, all the a. d. c. used daily to write their reports during the war to (she did not understand quite, to Anpapa or Motherdear). — She will see her again & clear up many more things for the old lady to know, as she is utterly devoted to us & can be of use if she sees the things rightly. I explained lots of other things the other day wh. she was, most grateful to know. — Is it true what Pss Palei!! says that Bark telegraphed he cannot make the loan without the Duma being called to-gether? That is a catch I fear. Khvostov entreated that one should not think of calling it together before 1-st of Nov: as was announced. He knows people are working at this, but finds it would be a wrong concession, as one must have time to prepare ones actions clearly before they assemble — & be ready to meet all attacks with answers.
Fat Andronnikov telephoned to Ania that Khvostov was very contented with his talk, & other amiabilities wh. I shan't repeat. — Have you any place for my letters? I write such volumes — Baby sweet gently began speaking again, whether you would take him back to the Headquarters & at the same time he feels sad to leave me. But you would be less lonely — for a bit at least, & if you intended to move & see the troops, I could come & fetch him. You have Feodorov, so he would only need Mr. Gilliard, & you could let still one of the aide[s] de camp accompany him out motoring. He could have his French lessons every morning & drive with you in the afternoon — only he cant take walks — he could remain behind with the motor playing about. Have you a room near you, or he could share yr. bedroom. — But that you must think over quietly. — Our Friend always writes about Pokrov — I am sure Oct. 1-st. will bring some particular blessing, & the Virgin help you. To-morrow its four weeks that you left us — shall we really have the intense joy of getting you back by Wednesday? Ania is mad with joy. I carry it in me. And, alas, you will have more disagreable than pleasant things to do; — but what a joy to hold you again in my arms, caress you kiss & feel your warmth & love I so long for. You don't know how I miss you, my Angel Dear.
Now my letter must be sent off — God bless you. Goodbye my own sweet Nicky dear, my husband, my joy & light, the sunshine & peace of my life. I bless & kiss you over and over again. —
Ever yr. very own tenderly loving old wife
Alix.
P. S.
How are the foreigners? Is the nice young Irishman still there,? — Messages to the old man & N. P. Nini is now here again, reasonable & clever & still in despair at her husband's behaviour last month & anxious how is behaving now & hopes he tells you things rightly & honestly. Don't you tell him this Lovy. —
All the children kiss you. Baby bakes potatoes & apples in the garden. The girls went to hospitals. —
Why Boris is again here, I do not know. —
Frolov was in despair. All abused him for allowing the articles about our Friend, tho' it was Stcherbatov's fault & was watching now carefully to avoid anything again, & now he has been changed. Khvostov also has ideas about the press. You will think, that I have now got a "tail" growing. — Gadon does great harm to our Friend speaking horrors about him wherever & whenever he can. —
1000 thanks for the well written cuting about the general situation. This morning's papers with the news fr. the Headquarters pleased me, not dry & explaining the situation so well to all readers. —
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Olga, Tatiana, Maria, Anastasia and Alexei. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Above: Grigori Rasputin.
Note: Alexandra almost always referred to Grigori Rasputin as "our Friend".
Monday, July 1, 2024
Alix's letter to Queen Victoria, dated December 26, 1893
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 311 to 312, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Königliches Schloss
Kiel
December 26th 1893
My darling Grandmama,
Please accept my very warmest thanks for Your presents and good wishes. The Brooch is quite too lovely, the Florence turquoise in diamond setting, I have worn it and it has been greatly admired. The little Sketchbook with Paintbox is delightful and will be most useful.
I do hope you spent a pleasant Xmas, here it was very nice and all were most kind. Having Charlotte, Bernhard and Feo in the house makes it so lively, tho' one cannot help having one's sad thoughts when one thinks of the happy bygone time.
Beloved Grandmama, let me now wish You every possible happiness and blessing in the New Year — may it be full of sunshine for You and our heavenly Father keep every cloud from You.
I cannot help dreading always the coming of the New Year as one never knows what is in store for one, God grant that it may be full of joy and happiness for my darling Ernie and the sweet little Wife whom he is soon going to fetch. Now I long for my precious One more than ever, how happy he would have been to see Ernie happy and what a comfort it would have been to me, as life will indeed be very different for me, as I shall be feeling myself de trop.
But I must not bother You with a long letter, as I am sure You have a lot to do.
Kissing Your dear Hand most tenderly, and again wishing you much joy,
I remain, Darling Grandmama dear,
Ever Your very loving, grateful and dutiful Child,
Alix
Above: Alix.
Above: Queen Victoria.
Alix's letter to Xenia, dated November 20, 1893
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 308, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Darmstadt
Nov 20th 1893
Душка Ксеніи,
A good kiss and fondest thanks for yr dear letter. It was such a pleasure hearing again from you. Yes, do continue writing to me, don't let what I am going to tell you put a stop to our friendship and correspondence. My photo and a letter I have sent through Ella to Nicky. In it he will see that I cannot change my decision — I cannot because untrue to my own confession, do not believe that my love is less, why that has made it so far more hard and difficult to me and I have been torturing myself. To hurt one whom one loves is fearful, and yet, I don't want him to go on hoping as I can never change my Religion. God bless the dear, and may he not think ill of his old Pelly.
I feel too upset to write any more.
Yr old
Alix
Let me hear sometimes from you, may I? Don't let us quite drift apart, that would be too hard.
Above: Alix.
Above: Xenia.
Note: "Душка Ксеніи" = "Darling Xenia".
Alix's letter to Nicholas, dated November 20, 1893
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 306 to 308, by George Hawkins, 2023
Written in response to this letter from Nicholas:
Nicholas's reply to this letter:
The letter:
Darmstadt
Nov 20th 1893
Dearest Nicky,
I send you my very best thanks for your dear letter and enclose the photograph you wished to have and which Ella will forward to you. I believe it must have been a stronger will than ours which ordained that we should not meet at Coburg, for like this it gives me the chance to write to you all my innermost feelings wh perhaps on the spur of the moment I might not have said, or that you might have misunderstood me. You know what my feelings are as Ella has told you them already, but I feel it my duty to tell them you myself. I have thought over everything for a long time and I only beg you not to think that I take it lightly for it grieves me terribly and makes me very unhappy. I have tryed to look at it in every light that is possible, but I always return to one thing. I cannot do it against my conscience. You, dear Nicky, who have also such a firm belief will understand me that I think it a sin to change my belief and I would be miserable all the days of my life, knowing that I had done a wrongful thing. I am certain that you would not wish me to change against my conviction. What happiness can come from a marriage wh begins without the real blessing of God. For I feel it a sin to change that belief in wh I have been brought up and wh I love. I should never find my peace of mind again, and like that I should never be able to be your real companion who should help you on in life, for there always would be something between us in my not having the real conviction of the belief I had taken and in regret for the one I had left. It would be acting a lie to you, your Religion and to God. This is my feeling of right and wrong, and one's innermost religious convictions and one's peace of conscience towards God, so before all one's earthly wishes. As all these years have not made it possible for me to change my resolution in acting thus, I feel that now is the moment to tell you again that I can never change my Confession. I am certain that you will understand this clearly and see as I do, that we are only torturing ourselves about something impossible, and it would not be a kindness to let you go on having vain hopes wh will never be realized.
And now Goodbye my darling Nicky and may God bless and protect you.
Ever your loving
Alix
Above: Alix. Photo courtesy of TatianaZ on Flickr.
Above: Nicholas.
Sunday, June 30, 2024
Alix's letter to Queen Victoria, dated October 21, 1893
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 305, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Neues Palais, Darmstadt
October 21st 1893
Darling Grandmama,
I must just send You a few lines by the messenger to tell You how happy we are to have dear Ella with us. She did enjoy herself so much at Balmoral and is continuously speaking about it.
On Monday we are all going to Homburg to pay Aunt Vicky a visite. Irène, Henry and the Baby are also here and the house is in consequence quite full. How terribly one misses Papa at such family gatherings You can well imagine as there is no real centre.
We are having beautiful, sunny, bright weather and take nice drives. We go to the Theatre very often and the evenings we stop at home, we play 8 hands which is a great delight. You cannot think how busy we all are, burning and painting for a bazaar, even Serge and Paul have to help us.
I hope You are having fine weather at Balmoral and are able to get out every day as I know how You enjoy being out.
But I must say Goodbye now, beloved Grandmama and God bless You. Kissing Your dear Hand most affectionately I remain Ever Your most loving and deeply devoted Child
Alix
Above: Alix.
Above: Queen Victoria.
Saturday, June 29, 2024
Alix's letter to Queen Victoria, dated October 14, 1893
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 302 to 304, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Neues Palais, Darmstadt
October 14th 1893
My darling Grandmama,
I cannot tell You how delighted and surprised I was when the post brought me a letter from You last night and I hasten now to send You my very tenderest thanks. How happy Ella must have been at Balmoral with You, beloved Grandmama, and how You must miss her now. I am glad that You like Serge and Paul, they are such dear, good boys and so devoted to each other.
What has delighted me to hear is that Ella has succeeded in persuading Louie to see Dr. Reid, as I feel sure he will be successful and I hope will be able to influence her. I am anxious to know what his oppinion is of her. She herself was sure that Scotland would do wonders and as she had made up her mind that it would cure her, no wonder it may, as imagination has got a good deal to do with her health at this present moment. I do hope and pray that she may get well as it is not only for her health I fear, but for her character. I am sure You will be able to do much with her and certainly sooner will she obey You than her parents.
The house will be so full next week as Uncle Christian and Aunt Helena are still here and Thora comes for two nights before going to Aunt Vicky. Uncle goes out shooting daily and I think enjoys it. I walk with Aunt in the morning and drive her in the afternoon, and in the evening we all go to the Theatre.
I cannot tell You how terrible it was for me at first going to the Theatre again, and not having my precious [illegible] near my. Why, night after night we used to sit there to-gether and he enjoyed it, oh, so much. There are always little things I long to tell him or ask his advice about and I have not got him. Oh, sweet Grandmama dear, You who loved him too so much can imagine how too terribly I miss him, and the longing for him gets always stronger and stronger. But I must not speak to You about sad things. You have had to suffer enough, and the sorrows of others must not worry You, only when I write to You, I say everything that comes into my head, as You have always been my second Mother, for which God bless You, my Darling.
How dear of You to ask us to spend Xmas with You, but alas it is an impossibility as Ernie cannot get away then. It is a great disappointment to us not to be able to spend Xmas with You, but alas it can't be arranged. Ernie must be here, as there are always Dinners that have to be given and people he has to see and things to arrange. But darling Grandmama, I wonder whether You would allow us to come instead about the 16th of Feb., when all would be over here and he could easiest get away. Would it suit You, may we come. We long to see You and are terribly sorry not to come this year. I hope you will forgive us for not coming, but Ernie really cannot leave and especially not this year as he will have to receive more people. It would have been so much nicer than remaining here all alone, but we must not grumble as it does not make it any better.
We are in the Palace now again and there is always so much to arrange when one has been away the whole summer, that one does not know where to begin. The weather is fine but fresh and the leaves are turning so yellow — the woods look lovely with all the bright colours. But I must not bother You any longer now with this letter and I hope You will forgive us for not coming.
With fondest love and kissing Your dear Hand most tenderly,
I remain, Beloved Grandmama, Ever Your very loving and dutiful Child
Alix
Above: Alix.
Above: Queen Victoria.
Alix's letter to Xenia, dated September 3, 1893
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 301 to 302, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Sept 3rd 1893
Душка Ксеніи,
I suppose that you will be in Denmark by this time, amusing yourself with all the Cousins. I envy them being able to see you, whilst I have to content myself with a photograph. I am sending you one done of me last year, some think it like, some horrid. Ernie is still not able to walk, but he goes for drives, or he's wheeled about in his bath chair in the garden.
The Cousins have gone to play lawn-tennis and have been abusing me for writing, so I shall have to join them soon and you must be content with a short epistle.
After great heat, we have now cold, damp weather. Yesterday we went to Homburg to pay Aunt Vicky a visite, and saw Uncle Bertie and Anastasie. I hope the manœuvres were amusing in Russia. We are going on the 14th to ours at Friedberg and intend to ride out to them. Here the roads are lovely, and I ride usually at 7 and come in for breakfast.
If a group is done of you all at Fredensborg, I wonder whether you would send me one; I should like it so much. What fun you must be having there, all to-gether.
Do give your Geschwister my love, and Toria and Maud. Do you play still a great deal? We have been having lots of music, as a Violin player, a Herr Wolff (a Dutchman) whom we often heard in England, stayed with us for 8 days. I used to accompany him and it was a great delight, though at first most frightening.
But now I must be off, otherwise the others will grumble.
A good fond kiss,
Ever, sweet Chicken dear, yr very loving old
Alix
God bless you! Send me a line if you have a spare moment, do please.
Above: Alix.
Above: Xenia.
Notes: "Душка Ксеніи" = "Darling Xenia".
Geschwister = siblings.
Alix's letter to Queen Victoria, dated August 1, 1893
Source:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 300 to 301, by George Hawkins, 2023
The letter:
Jagdschloss Wolfsgarten
Aug 29th 1893
My darling Grandmama,
I have been waiting until now before writing to You, as I was sure that in the first days of Your grief, you would not care to receive letters. But my thoughts and prayers were with you. Poor dear Grandmama, how terribly sad You must have been when the news of poor uncle's death reached You, as it must have brought back so many sad remembrances of the bygone. I wish I could find words to tell you how very much I feel for You, especially after myself having gone through such a terrible time last year. But where people no longer can give comfort, then one will find it in God. I am sure being in beautiful Scotland will help to make You feel less sad and the good air will I hope do You good.
What a pleasure it will be for Ella and Serge to go to Balmoral — and for Louie too. It is so nice having the dear Child here, though her looks frighten one. My great hope is that going back to her old house and seeing all her Relations and old friends will make her feel better and more sensible. She is terribly homesick.
Thora arrived here on Sunday and is full of the delightful time she spent at Osborne. Herr Wolff was here for eight days, which was a great delight to us all as he plays too beautifully. It reminded me so much of Balmoral last year. I accompanied him often and it was a great pleasure, though at first frightening as I had never done it before.
Now at last the weather is a little cooler for the heat has been quite terrible. Ernie gets wheeled out every afternoon in a bathchair wh makes a nice change for him. But as yet he is not allowed to walk.
But I think I ought to be saying Goodbye now, as I do not wish to bother You with a long letter, only I felt that I must send You a few lines to tell You how deeply I feel for You in Your grief.
God bless You, my own precious Grandmama, and may He be a comfort and strength to You. Kissing Your dear Hand most tenderly, I remain, Ever Your very loving, dutiful and devoted Child,
Alix
P. S. Ernie and the Cousins sends You their very best love.
Above: Alix.
Above: Queen Victoria.
Note: Queen Victoria's brother-in-law, Ernest II, Duke of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, had passed away on August 22, 1893.
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