Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 19 to 21, by George Hawkins, 2023
George Hawkins at Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook
The letter:
April 24th 1894. Gatchina.
May 6th
N 4.
My own beloved little darling,
Today the notes of the Fogelhändler arrived and I am so thankful to you my dearest one for having thought of my little wish. I shall try and learn it on the piano, so that you might sing it when I come to England! But it makes me downright sad to read the words of that pretty song, it reminds too strongly of those heavenly days at Coburg!!!! The evenings especially I miss you darling so awfully — that the only comfort I find is to sit down & begin to scribble off a letter to you! Today I felt very disapointed in not receiving a few dear lines from my girly-darling; every time I came into my room I rushed up to my table — but alas! it was desolate & the much wanted envelope was missing!
I got another letter though instead — & that was from Granny a very kind one too. But not knowing her handwriting it took me a great deal of trouble to decypher it. She was very impatient to see you arrive at Windsor. One thing I am particularly glad of, she said she wants you to remain quiet during the season, that means you won't be pulled about to balls & drawing-rooms etc.. well and so much the better!
Now a few remarks out of "English as she is spoke":
Of the man.
The brain. The inferior lip.
The brains. The superior lip.
The fixt of the leg. The marrow.
The ham. The reins.
Woman objects.
The busk. The paint or disguise.
The sash. The spindle.
The cornet. The patches.
The pumps. The skate.
Diseases.
The apoplexy. The megrime.
The scrofulas. The whitlow.
The melancholy. The rheumatisme
The vomitory.
Dress your hair's. Sing an area. At what o'clock dine him? These apricots and these peaches make me and to come water in mouth. He has spit in my coat. He has me take out my hairs. He does me some kicks. It must never to laugh of the unhappies! --
How do you find that rot? I wonder who might have been that fool to have published such absurd things. — Oh! sweety it is hard to be separated, never did I inquire on the spur of those happy days that it be so awful as it seems now. I told the first couple that for them it is much better, as they always see each other & they agreed especially after it had been at last decided yesterday that their wedding is going to be in the middle of July (in the end of yr. month).
I must tell you one thing my beloved little girly-dear, that it is both Papa's and Mama's great wish to see you here at home. We might come together in July over from England for Denis's wedding which is going to be celebrated at Peterhof. We would spend a nice fortnight together and then you would go back to Darmstadt. And I shall come there after the manouvres are over as we decided that before. Of course you understand my own darling how anxious my Parents are to see just quietly like that for a bit. I am sure it will be quite the same for Granny whether you leave about the same time for Russia or as you were to do before for Wolfsgarten.
The first couple would be delighted to see you before it leaves & so would be everybody. Well! but we shall speak about that when we meet won't we dearest one? I must finish this epistle of mine as the train leaves for town in a ¾ of an hour. I am going back to my regiment, but living here I must run about like the "ewige Jude" which is rather tiresome until I at last settle in the camp.
So good-bye my own darling beloved one. God bless you! With many & fond & loving kisses ever & ever your own deeply loving & devoted
old Nicky
P. S. Give my compliments sweetly to Gretchen & Madeleine!
Above: Nicholas and Alix. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev on Flickr.
Note: Nicholas mentions near the end of this letter that at home he has to run about like the "ewige Jude" — "the eternal Jew". Anti-Semitism was rampant in Imperial Russia (ironic considering that Jesus Christ was Jewish and Orthodox Christianity is so deeply ingrained into Russian culture), and I do not support or endorse it in any way, but, like other forms of discrimination, to ignore it would be tantamount to further perpetuating it. Please note that Jewish people prefer for non-Jewish people to call them "Jewish people" rather than "Jews" precisely because of this history of anti-Semitic discrimination.
