https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=inu.30000011396573&view=1up&seq=106
https://www.alexanderpalace.org/letters/march15.html
The letter:
No. 50
Tsarskoe Selo, March 4-th 1915
My own beloved Darling,
With what joy I received yr. dear letter, thanks over & over for it. I have read it already twice over & kissed it several times. —
How tired all those complicated talks must make you. God grant the coal question may soon be settled satisfactorily & the guns too. But they too must soon be running short of everything. — About Misha I am so happy do write it to Motherdear, it will do her good to know it. I am sure this war will make more of a man of him — could one but get her out of his reach, her dictating influence is so bad for him. — I shall tell the children to fetch your paper & send it with this letter — Baby has written in, French, I told him to do so & he writes more naturally than with Peter Vass. His leg is almost alright, does not limp — the right hand is bandaged as rather swollen, so wont be able to write probably a few days. But he goes out twice daily. — The four girls are going to town — Tatiana has her committee, M & A. will look on whilst Olga receives money & then they will all go to Mary — the little ones have never seen her rooms. —
Botkin has put me to bed, heart a good deal enlarged & have rather a cough — I felt rotten, in every respect, these days & now Mme Becker arrived & prevents me from taking my drops. — Am glad I managed the hospital in town yesterday — we did it quickly 1 hour & ¼ & one carried me up the stairs — the 4 girls helped giving the Images & talking, & Ressin arranged those well enough to be stood in a row in the corridor - tell this to N. P. as he thought I wld. overtire myself in town - its the strain of these weeks, 2 a day to Ania, who never finds it enough, wrote now she had wanted to see me more to talk (have nothing to say, hear only of sad things, Nini brightens her far more up with her "bavardage" & gossip) & to read to her - have a cough these days, so could not. And she cant understand this death having upset me so — Zizi does, wrote so kindly — I cannot do a thing by halves & I saw his joy when I came twice daily — & he all alone, others were not at in — he had no family here. — She grudges me to the others, I feel, & they so touchingly always ask me not to tire myself — "you are only one for us, we are many". — He told me too still the last afternoon that I overtire myself — so on — awfully kind — so how cannot I try & give them everything of warmth & love — they suffer so & are unspoiled — she has all, tho' of course her leg is a great worry to her & does not grow a bit together yet — the Pss. looked yesterday. But A. one never can satisfy & that is the most tiring, & she does not understand Botkin's hints at all about me. —
The sun is shining & its snowing a little. — I got nurse Liubuscha (the eldest sister of big Palace) to come & sit with me for half an hour, she is cosy, told me about the wounded & more details about the other. Tomorrow one buries him — our Friend wrote me a touching little letter about this death. — I can imagine Svetchine makes you wild — me he drove to distraction a few years ago in the Crimea with these half French anecdotes — one says he is the son of old Galkine-Vrassky. — Send him about to look at motors or hospitals close by. — Now I wonder what you will do — dont tell, where you intend going, then — you can get through unawares & I am sure, he knows far less where you can go, then when you are nearer out there already in the train. — To-morrow is N. Willy's death day — 2 years!
My precious one, my muchly missed one, I must end now. — God bless & protect you & keep you safe from all harm. I kiss you over & over again with deerest tenderness, Ever yr. very own
Wify-Sunny
I bow to yr. people.
Nicholas's reply:
Stavka. 5 March, 1915.
MY BELOVED LITTLE BIRD, SUNNY,
My warmest thanks for your long, precious letter. How well do I understand your sorrow for the sad death of the poor fellow, without a single relative near! Truly, it is better to be killed outright, like Strouve, as death in battle comes in the presence of the whole division or regiment is entered in history.
To-day the weather is good, but it is frosty with a lot snow. The sun is shining beautifully through the trees which are in front of my window. We have only just come back from our after-dinner walk. The roads among the fields are very slippery, and my gentlemen sometimes fall down. Some days ago Sazonov fell, while crossing from the train to his carriage, and bruised his nose and leg. Yesterday Drenteln slipped in the same place and tore the tendon of his ankle; he had to lie down, and Feodorov is attending him. To-day, during our walk, Grabbe fell, but lucidly without hurting himself. Towards the end he fell through the ice into a ditch, but also without taking harm.
From all this you can see that we spend our time quietly and without notable events. This morning I spent an hour or an hour and a half with N. and two Staff officers.
I see George often — he has improved remarkably; everybody who has seen him since his return from the Caucasus notices it. After having made inquiries as to how the plastouni (my special weakness) have conducted themselves, I have appointed myself Chief of the 6th Koubansky plastouni battalion, and him — George — Chief of the 4th Koubansky plastouni battalion, because he was with them in their trenches — that is extraordinary, is it not? Tell Olga about it.
And these splendid men are leaving Batoum in a few days for Sevastopol, to get ready for the final expedition.
Now I must finish, my love. God bless you and the dear children! I kiss you tenderly and lovingly and remain, my darling,
Unchangeably your old hubby
Nicky.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
Note: Madame Becker was a euphemism the family used for the menstrual periods of Alexandra and her daughters.
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