Sources:
Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar, 1914-1916, published by Duckworth & Co., 1923
The letter:
No. 73.
Tsarskkoje Selo, May 4-th 1915
My own sweetest of Sweets,
You will read these lines before going to bed — remember Wify will be praying & thinking of you, oh so much, & miss you quite terribly. So sad we shall not spend your dear birthday together — the first time! May God bless you richly, give you strength and wisdom, consolation, health, peace of mind to continue bravely bearing your heavy crown — ah it is not an easy nor light cross He has placed upon yr. shoulders — would that I could help you carrying, in prayers & thoughts I ever do. I yearn to lessen yr. burden — so much you have had to suffer in those 20 years — & you were borne on the day of the longsuffering Job too, my poor Sweetheart. But God will help, I feel sure, but still much heartache, anxiety, & hard work have to be got through bravely, with resignation & trust in God's mercy, and unfathomable wisdom. Hard not to be able to give you a birthday tender kiss & blessing! — One gets at times so tired from suffering & anxiety & yearns for peace — oh when will it come I wonder! How many more months of bloodshed & misery? Sun comes after rain — & so our beloved country will see its golden days of prosperity after her earth is sodden with blood & tears — God is not unjust & I place all my trust in Him unwaveringly — but its such pain to see all the misery — to know not all work as they ought to, that petty personalities spoil often the the great cause for wh. they ought to work in unisson. Be firm, Lovy mine, show yr. own mind, let others feel you know what you wish. Remember you are the Emperor, & that others dare not take so much upon themselves — beginning by a mere detail, as the Nostitz story — he is in yr. suite & therefore N. has absolutely no right to give orders without asking your permission first.
If you did such a thing with one of his aide de camps without warning him, wld. he not set up a row & play the offended, etc. & without being sure, one cannot ruin a man's career like that. — Then, Deary, if a new Com. of the Nijegorodtzy is to be named, wont you propose Jagmin?
I meddle in things not concerning me — but its only a hint, — (& its your own regiment, so you can order whom you wish there).
See that the story of the Jews is carefully done, without unnecessary rows, not to provoke disturbances over the country. — Dont let one coax you into unnecessary nominations & rewards for the 6-th — many months are yet before us! — You cant fly off to Cholm to see Ivanov or stop on the way to see soldiers waiting to be sent to refill the regiments.
One longs that each of yr. journeys should not only be the joy for the Headquarters (without troops) — but for the soldiers, or wounded, more need strength from you & it does you good too. Do what you wish & not the Generals — yr. presence gives strength everywhere. —
Nicholas's telegram:
Telegram. Stavka. 5 May, 1915.
Have just arrived safely. Lovely weather. The woods are now quite green and smell delightful. Now I am off to church. Thanks for telegram. I embrace you tenderly.
Nicky.
Above: Nicholas and Alexandra. Photo courtesy of Ilya Grigoryev at lastromanovs on VK.
