Sources:
Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 2: Engagement and Marriage, 1894, pages 229 to 231, by George Hawkins, 2023
George Hawkins at Letters and writings of Nicholas II and his family on Facebook
The letter:
July 28th/Aug 9th 1894
My own precious darling Nicky,
For your sweet letter wh came this evening, I send you my very fondest thanks. It was too kind of you writing to me even on Xenia's Wedding day as I am sure it must have been a very tiring day. That the dear child looked sweet I can well imagine, but for me who saw her last as a child, to think her married is almost impossible. How happy and utterly content she now must be, being married to the man she adores and being free to do whatever she likes with no great duties to bother her. That you held the crown over her must have seemed strange to you, did it not? She, so much younger than you. It is touching she wore our little star, may it bring her much luck and many blessings. Yes, the feeling you had then must indeed have been a different one to that at Ernie's Wedding — oh, that day was too fearful — all the emotions and then seeing Ernie stand near Ducky and no Papa near to him, I could have screamed out for pain, so lonely he stood there, only U. William next to him. And you standing near A. Vicky, and Granny coming up along the Church — no I cannot simply bear to think of it! Little Xenia was soon made happy, our patience must last longer and we shall try and not grumble tho' the separation is fearfully hard and I miss you more than words, you my beloved manikins, my sweet treasure душки.
So Figuer and his wife sang fine, I have no doubt, and you thought of the old Hen? Yes, I too long you were sitting with me in my little house, it is so quiet and peaceful of an evening, one only hears the [illegible] running and the clock ticking — such rest, a moment for lovy to fly over to me and kiss me. You must come whilst we are still here. I am shocked to think that I put a wrong No. to my letters — how is it now to be altered? It came through my confusing yr letter from Sandringham. I thought I had sent one too, like a blooming idiot that I was. I shall have to concoct a letter when you come to put in for the missing number!
It is really late, the man is putting out the lanterns in the courtyard, so only quickly still this page. The wife of the Prussian Ambassador who is going to Greece now came to luncheon. Then we went and looked at a nest in wh a hedgehog with seven tiny ones, still blind, was lying. We sat and watched the others run on the p. de g., had tea, and then Ducky and I drove again and picked mushrooms — two Coburg baskets quite full, and behind a lot in the hood of the carriage. After supper, we, some of us, played and sang, and the others enjoyed their Whist in the next room.
Now byby душки precious, beloved one. I cover your dearest face with tenderest kisses and whisper a blessing and fondest words of love. I love you, love you, day by day, more and more, stronger, deeper, truer, more passionately than ever. Trust and love me. God bless you! Sleep well!
10th Сегодня дурная погода, едетъ дождь, но я думаю что погода будетъ ещё хорошая. Вчера (вечеромъ) послѣ (обѣда) чаіе, была смѣшная исторія, Schneiderlein, только по русски я не могу разсказать, а она не хочетъ мнѣ памочь. Она играла въ lawn tennis что я ей вчера запретила потаму что она день передъ тѣмъ слишкомъ много играла, и у нея болѣла голова. It is too killing, I must write it at least in English. Ernie sent a ball flying and she discovered it and stooped down in a funny way, so that the ball hit her behind. He asked how she had remarked it, whether she had eyes there and she calmly says yes — we all roared, she is some times too funny for words. Everyone likes her. I do hope she can remain here a long time. She dreads the idea of having to go back to that place, it is tiresome work, tiring and she does not care for it, she is accustomed to be now with us and before always with Ella, so that this life is far more for her. Could one not arrange something for her? It wld, I suppose not be possible for me to keep her on in Russia, as I shan't know enough for ages and she might read to me when you were with yr regiment and help me when I paint and when a lady might often be a nuisance. Would it be possible lovy? Do think about it and if you did not mind, as she is such a dear, and think it could be arranged, at least for the first years, you might have spoken perhaps to Ella, as Serge is governor of Moscou and over her school and then to your Mama, whether she approves. Do you think this mad of me? I hope the idea does not displease you, only it wld be so nice to do something for the little creature and I suppose it ought then to be soon arranged as another governess wld have to be got in her stead. I have never told her these were my hopes as I had no idea whether you would approve or it would be possible.
The room swarms with flies which promenade and sit about on my writing book. I am on the sopha, a place where I have not been often here, wh made Ernie angry. I got a charming long letter from Granny, so kind. She is delighted with yr telegrams, that you answer so promptly — she is eagerly expecting a letter from you. I always sign myself her Child instead of Grandchild, she wished it as she considered me as that, but she has never written such a kind beginning before this time "Most beloved Child, my darling Alicky." I am so happy you like her too — it does make such a difference having an old lady in the family. Now, lots of Russian, so goodbye. A good kiss. God bless you Angel, love of my heart. Ever yr own truly devoted, deeply loving, affectionate bridy
Alix
Ernie and Ducky send you their very best love. I love you, I am entirely yours.
Above: Nicholas and Alix.
Note: "Сегодня дурная погода, едетъ дождь, но я думаю что погода будетъ ещё хорошая. Вчера (вечеромъ) послѣ (обѣда) чаіе, была смѣшная исторія, Schneiderlein, только по русски я не могу разсказать, а она не хочетъ мнѣ памочь. Она играла въ lawn tennis что я ей вчера запретила потаму что она день передъ тѣмъ слишкомъ много играла, и у нея болѣла голова." = "Today the weather is bad, it's raining, but I think that the weather will still turn out good. Yesterday (in the evening) after (dinner) tea, there was a funny story — Schneiderlein — only in Russian I can't tell it, but she doesn't want to help me. She played lawn tennis, which I forbade her yesterday because she had played too much the day before and had a headache."
No comments:
Post a Comment