The Life and Letters of William Boyd Carpenter, Bishop of Ripon, page 261, by H. D. A. Major, 1925
The letter:
Zarskoe Selo.
Jan. 24th/Feb. 7th, 1913.
DEAR BISHOP,
I hope you do not mind my calling you by the old familiar name. You must excuse me not having answered your kindest of letters any earlier, but I have been so ill again with my heart — the months of physical and moral strain during our Boy's illness brought on a collapse — for seven years I suffer from the heart and lead the life of an invalid most of the time. Thank God our Darling is getting on so well, he has grown very much and looks so strong, and we trust before long to see him on his legs again running about. It was a terrible time we went through, and to see his fearful suffering was heartrending — but he was of an angelical patience and never complained at being ill; he would only make the sign of the Cross and beg God to help him, groaning and moaning from the pain. In the Orthodox Church one gives children Holy Communion, so twice we let him have that joy, and the poor thin little face with its big suffering eyes lit up with blessed happiness as the Priest approached him with the Holy Sacrament. It was such a comfort to us all and we too had the same joy — without trust and faith implicit in God Almighty's great wisdom and ineffable love, one could not bear the heavy crosses sent one. You too have gone through such terrible sorrow in the loss of your dear son, and I feel it is this which made you think of us in our anguish. God bless you for your loving Christian friendship, deeply valued as coming as an echo out of the past.
Well do I remember your kind talks to me in Windsor and several letters I had the pleasure of receiving from you.
The school of life is indeed a difficult one, but when one tries to live by helping others along the steep and thorny path one's love for Christ grows yet stronger, always suffering and being almost an invalid, one has so much time for thinking and reading and one realises always more and more that this life is but the preparation to yonder real life where all will be made clear to us. My children are growing up so fast and are such real little comforters to us — the elder ones often replace me at functions and go about a great deal with their Father — they are all five touching in their care for me — my family life is one blessed ray of sunshine excepting the anxiety for our Boy. I do wish you could see them some day!
I am sure you regret having left York[shire] after so many years, but hope that your new nomination may be a pleasant one.
God bless you.
In old friendship,
ALEXANDRA.
Above: Alexandra with Alexei at the hunting lodge in Spala during his recovery from his worst hemophilia attack yet.
Above: William Boyd Carpenter, Bishop of Ripon.
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