Alix's letter to Queen Victoria, dated December 26, 1892

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 289 to 291, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter:

Königliches Schloss, Kiel
December 26th 1892
My own darling Grandmama,
I send You my most loving and heartfelt thanks for the lovely bracelet with my beloved Papa's head — nothing could have given me greater pleasure and I shall wear it constantly. Also for 'Tennyson's Works' and the sweet little Card, most tender thanks.

I received many lovely Presents, amongst others, a beautiful bracelet from Ernie, aranged out of buttons belonging to dear Papa, which makes it of course more valuable to me, he always knows how to give one pleasure, and I am sure there never was a dearer and kinder Brother.

It is such a comfort being able to spend Xmas here, as it would have been too painful the first time alone at home, but nevertheless it was hard going away from the Rosenhöhe.

Darling Grandmama, I hope You are spending these days happily with all the Relations and though we are not able to be with You, my thoughts, prayers and most earnest and tenderest wishes for the New Year are surounding You.

There is one thing I wanted to tell You still. I have had a formal invitation to go to Berlin for Mossy's wedding and Ernie thought it right that I should accept it as I have already been asked for the other occasion the last years and did not go. Finger also thinks it right I should go being the only Hessian Princess. I must say I dread it teribly, as I have a great dislike of such large festivities, and especially now that I have lost my own sweet darling Papa, but it must be, and I pray God may give me strength to do my duty. Ernie wrote to Aunt Vicky to ask her whether she would take me into her house instead of him, so as that I could be under her protection, and she has kindly agreed to it. Irène being also in the house will make it so much pleasanter for me, as if I had to live in the Schloss with all the guests, and no married nearer Relation, it would not have been so easy and far more tiring, as one would perpetually have to be running up and down.

It is bitterly cold to-day and snowing fast, regular Xmas weather.

But I must end my letter now, as a long letter is in the way, when I fear You must be having very much to do.

Thanking You again many times for the lovely presents and with my very tenderest wishes that the New Year may bring You much joy and happiness and good health, I remain, Darling Grandmama dear, Your ever deeply devoted, loving and grateful Child
Alix
God bless and protect You!
Many a loving and tender kiss for my dearest Grandmama

Above: Alix.

Above: Queen Victoria.

Alix's letter to Queen Victoria, dated December 22, 1892

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 288 to 289, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter:

December 22nd 1892
My darling Grandmama,
I send you my most loving thanks for Your dear letter, which Bäuerlein brought me, You must please forgive my not having answered it before now, as also Your other kind note, but I was not well enough. I am so much better now, only must be still careful — I shall certainly do as You wish and consult an other Doctor, a specialist. Dr. Eigenbrodt thinks it also a very good thing I should do so. It is such a nuisance having perpetually something, and people imagine immediately it being something terrible, which is not in the least the case.

It was such a pleasure having dear Ella here, but alas her stay was too short.

The Christening went off beautifully yesterday, and the dear little Baby was so good and quiet, only smiling, and quite awake.

We leave to-morrow evening for Kiel, one dreads Xmas and the beginning of a new year as that is just the time one longs to have all one's dear ones close by, and one feels the loss of those that have been taken away, more than ever.

I wish we could have taken Victoria with us, but she did not like traveling at this time of year with such a small Baby. We shall be back next week, so as to begin the New Year here.

I have worked You an other chair, like the one I gave You on Your Birthday, and hope You will find it useful for one of the cottages. The little card is to bring You my most tender good wishes for Xmas.
Kissing Your dear Hand most affectionately, I remain, Beloved Grandmama,
Ever Your most loving and dutiful Child,
Alix

Above: Alix.

Above: Queen Victoria.

Excerpt from Alix's letter to Queen Victoria, dated October 15, 1892

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 288, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter excerpt:

October 15th 1892
... it was terribly sad coming back, and finding the house empty — but we must not speak about such sad things...

Above: Alix.

Above: Queen Victoria.

Alix's letter to Queen Victoria, dated October 13, 1892

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 287 to 288, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter:

Buckingham Palace
October 13th 1892
My beloved Grandmama,
I must just send You a few lines before we leave, to thank You again for all Your kindness, and for letting us spend such a very happy time with You, it was only such a pitty not feeling well, as it prevented me from going out with You more. It is quite a second home to be with You and I can never thank You enough for Your great kindness to us.

I hope and trust that you are feeling quite well and that the weather is at last getting finer, here it has been quite pleasant and fine, only to-day it is rather windy, so I fear the sea will not be very smoothe.

This morning I called on Victoria Grant to enquire after Lady Fanny, but was grieved to hear that she had not had a good night. Victoria I thought was looking pale and tired.

Then I also went to see the German Governesses home, and Fräulein Adelmann took me all over it — she showed us with great pride an engraving You had given of Yourself, after that we went to the National Gallery, but only stayed there quite short, as it would otherwise have been too tiring.

Yesterday, Aunt Mary, Uncle Franz, May and Algey came to tea — they were all looking well and in good spirits. Then Uncle Alfred came to see us, before leaving this morning for Coburg and Siegmaringen.

It was so kind of You allowing us to stop here three days — there has been so much to do, what with seeing tradespeople and so on. Herr Wolff came to dinner last night and afterwards played to us, and really more beautiful than ever. Miss Moore came too — it reminded one so much of the evenings at Balmoral.

I am sending You the only two photographs I have of myself — the large one was done before Xmas last year and the other was taken out of a group, but I have been done here, and if they succeed, I shall send You one.

But I am afraid I must end my letter now, as there are still several things that have to be packed, and we leave, alas, in an hour.
Goodbye my own darling Grandmama
Kissing Your dear Hand most tenderly, I am ever Your very moving, deeply devoted and dutiful Child
Alix

Above: Alix.

Above: Queen Victoria.

Alix's letter three days after what would have been her father's 56th birthday, written to Queen Victoria, dated September 15, 1892

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 286, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter:

Wolfsgarten
Sept 15th 1892
My darling Grandmama,
I cannot thank you enough for your dear letter, which touched me so deeply. It was too good and kind of you to write to me for the 12th, which was a terribly sad day, — one missed beloved Papa quite dreadfully — to think that one never more shall spend that else so happy day to-gether, one cannot believe it.

But I am too thankful that we were still last year to-gether on that day at Cassel, when the large parade was.

Though coming to Balmoral will bring many memories, I am looking forward to it, as I long to see you, my dearest darling Grandmama.

Ernie is so sorry that we cannot leave here sooner, but it is impossible, on account of the manoeuvres, at wh. he has to be present.

Yesterday I went to Homburg to say Goodbye to the Aunts and Cousins, whom I all thought looking well — they are expecting Willy to come on Sunday. I am so glad that Dona's wish has at last been fulfilled and that she has a little Daughter, God grant that all may go well.

With much love and kissing Your dear Hand most affectionately, I remain Beloved Grandmama, Ever Your very loving deeply devoted and dutiful Child
Alix

Above: Alix.

Above: Queen Victoria.

Alix's letter three days after her 20th birthday (her first without her father), written to Queen Victoria, dated June 9, 1892

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, page 272, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter:

Heiligenberg
June 9th 1892
My darling Grandmama,
Your dear letter and present touched me deeply, and I hasten to send You my very warmest thanks for both. Nothing could have given me greater pleasure than that enamel of beloved Papa. Oh, I had to think so much of last year, how happy we were then on my Birthday.

This was the first time I spent the 6th without him and I felt it terribly and longed for him. It is a selfish wish to want them back again, now that they are happy and at peace, but one does so yearn to have those one loved close to one.

Now we have at last again fine, sunny weather. I hope everything is now nice and green at Balmoral.

I was indeed astonished when I heard of Missy's engagement and could not at first believe it. One had often heard speak of it, but I thought she had other intentions. She is still so very young, almost a Baby, but I trust she will be happy with Ferdinand.

With [illegible] thanks and kissing Your dear Hand most tenderly, I am, Dearest Grandmama, Your ever very loving and dutiful Child
Alix

Above: Alix.

Above: Alix as a teenager with her father.

Above: Queen Victoria.

Alix's letter to Queen Victoria for her 73rd birthday, dated May 22, 1892

Source:

Alexandra Feodorovna: Diaries and Correspondence, volume 1: Princess of Hesse, 1872-1893, pages 266 to 267, by George Hawkins, 2023

The letter:

Darmstadt
May 22nd 1892
My own darling Grandmama,
These lines are to bring You my most tender and heartfelt goodwishes for Your dear Birthday. I hope You will spend the day very happily and not think too much of the sad things this year has brought, Grandmama dear. I am so glad that we were able to spend that dear day to-gether last year, and my thoughts will now be so much with You.

May God bless and protect You, beloved Grandmama, and keep every sorrow from You, and give You good health and everything one can possibly wish.

I am writing on grey paper, as I felt a black edged letter for such a day would never do.

I hope You will like the chair I have worked for You. I thought it might perhaps do for one of the cottages or for sitting out in the garden. I have done another one exactly like it, only it was unluckily not finished in time, but I hope to be able to send it by next Messenger. I began working on it when I used to sit with dear Papa and then I went on with it once or twice during the time of his dreadful illness, when one was not allowed to be in the room, and wished to do something to keep one quiet — for these reasons I thought You might like to have it, and as he had seen me working at it.

I am so sorry to hear that nothing is yet green at Balmoral, here the woods and garden are perfectly lovely. We are probably going to lunch at Jugenheim to-day as it is so fine. Aunt Julie is still here, she intends only going when the great heat begins, I think.

Above: Alix.

Above: Queen Victoria.